The Native
by StarTrekFanWriter
Summary: The relationship that started it all - Sarek/Amanda. How a logical guy like Sarek fell for a human, and why he would defy his people to marry her. Sybock & Spock will be featured. Starts with Sarek's first Pon Farr - first two chapters are angsty.
1. Pon Farr

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Pon Farr**

He sat in the coolness of the cave, meditation firepot in front of him. His body was filled with warmth. Occasionally, his station allowed him the luxury of a bath. He was familiar with the feel of warm water pooling over his body. Now it felt like warm water pooling from within...it was almost pleasant.

And then it was not. The feel of warm water turned to the prick of hot needles.

His body longed and his mind reached for what his body _craved. T'Sala_.

From across the light years her mind whispered back. _K'diwa, Sarek, I burn for thee. _

The feeling came. Spreading through his body engulfing him, it wrapped around him like the velvet darkness draped the stars. In his hormone-addled mind, he and T'Sala's bodies were the fire of the stars...the blackness was the feeling that bound them through light years.

_I am coming home, Sarek. I am coming home to you._

His body ached and strained; his loose clothing felt like rough ropes against his skin. He desired her...it was not something he could meditate away anymore. He wanted to claim her, be inside her, mark her with his teeth, fill her with child.

Her mind rushed through his and absorbed his passion, accepted it, echoed it. And somehow that echo made his desire manageable.

It allowed him to regain some conscious thought...and the thought was this...this agony, which was not agony, almost pleasurable, was simply their bodies struggling to be joined, as their minds had been joined fifty-six years ago.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_Sitting cross-legged on pillows across from him, the little girl stared at Sarek. Her features were symmetrical, her hair shaped in the same short practical cut as his. This was the first time they had met. _

_Her name was T'Sala; she was seven years old, just as he was. He heard she was a good student, played the lute -- as did he, and liked 3D chess -- but who didn't? He had also heard that her family was noble. But so was his, so that was to be expected._

_Today she would become his bond-mate. He accepted this. He was not nervous. Only curious. _

_One day they would desire to procreate. That idea seemed far-fetched to him. He understood the mechanics of the process but could not fathom that the organ necessary would function in the way required. Nor could he imagine wanting the necessary organ to function in such a way._

_As the healer had instructed, he reached out and touched her psi points. T'Sala mirrored his motions. Through the skin contact, he felt her curiosity and was certain she felt his. Then as the healer had instructed, they began to chant in unison. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts, one and together, never separated." _

_He let his mind drift as he did in meditation and suddenly found himself staring at himself and T'Sala at the same time. _

_"Fascinating," he said aloud._

Yes, fascinating. _It was T'Sala's voice in his mind._

_Suddenly he was awash in memories and sensations not his own. She used to be afraid of an uncovered vent in the basement of her house...She was unusually attached her pet sehlat..._

_He might have commented on these illogical tendencies but he felt her seeing the time he knocked over a servant carrying plomeek soup...his irrational fear of the dark that lasted until he was five..._

_She didn't dwell much on these memories, didn't comment on their being irrational. He felt her become focused on the memory of his last lute practice session._

I do not know that piece,_ she whispered in his mind. Sarek suddenly felt a wave of admiration from her._

_He decided that his bond mate was acceptable._

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Sarek's body swayed forward. Catching himself on his hands, he cried out in shock and anger, "T'Sala, what has happened?"

Through space and time her voice whispered. _The ship was shaken. I know not why. Do not worry, k'diwa, I am coming..._

Despite her words, he could feel her disorientation and her fear; for a moment he thought he might be overflowed with panic, but then she composed her mind and started to send him memories...

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_A year after their bonding, they met again. They played a duet for their parents on their lutes. It was a surprise to both sets of adults; Sarek and T'Sala had secretly practiced through their bond. _

_To their great satisfaction, they both performed flawlessly. To their great surprise, their parents were immensely pleased._

_They were confused. It seemed only logical to employ their bond towards pursuits that furthered both their abilities._

_When they articulated this thought, T'Sala's father said, "It is completely logical, but not always pursued, especially at such a young age. Continue to assist one another."_

_Sarek heard his mother comment to T'Sala's mother, "We have chosen well."_

_He looked at T'Sala. _Someday we might actually be friends_, he said through the bond._

_Her eyes met his. He felt her satisfaction at this statement._

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

She was trembling. No, the ship she was on was shaking. She had been seated on the floor in front of an incense burner. She had extinguished it for fear of fire. Now she sat strapped in a chair as the ship quaked.

The safety harness crossed her breasts. He wanted to hold her breasts, wrap his hands around them from behind and bury himself in her...He let out a low moan.

She was far away. In danger. And he was too weak and too mad at this point to defend her. _I have failed you, T'Sala...I have lost myself at the worst time._

_Sarek, you are sixty-two years old, and this is only our first time. Your emotional control is immense. _

Sarek took a long breath at this. He was being irrational. Like so many times before when his logic escaped him, she caught him. Buttressed him. Centered him.

_Have we not always done this for each other?_

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_T'Sala was alone in the Vulcan Forge, undergoing the 10 day ritual of survival all Vulcans participated in. She was frightened. Sarek spent most of these ten days in his room playing his lute for her. He neglected his studies. He asked to be excused early from meals. It gave her peace to listen to the notes of the lute in her mind. And this peace gave him peace._

_He expected to be reprimanded by his parents. Instead, after T'Sala's time was complete, they praised him for his part in her survival. It was logical to put the physical survival of one's bonds mate above one's studies. Someday his life would depend on her..._

_When his time in the Forge came, she did the same for him._

_After that they always addressed one another as t'hy'la -- friend. _

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Alone in the cave, the emotion they had no word for flooded from her to him. The humans had a word they called _love_...but it didn't do this feeling justice. She was his. He was hers. She would tear out the stars for him if she could.

His skin felt like it was ignited. He wanted her. Couldn't be with her.

Bending over in his cross-legged position until his head rested on the floor, he felt his own erection pressed against his belly. He screamed.

T'Sala heard. Her skin caught his fire and she too felt like she was aflame. He felt her body longing to take him in.

Somehow this made the fire bearable.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

_They were both twenty-two. They had not seen each other in three years. But now they had both been accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy._

_Sarek was struck by how aesthetically pleasing his bond mate had become. Pulled back to reveal the delicate points of her ears, her hair fell straight down her back in a shiny black water fall. Her shoulders were square, though narrower than his own. Her breasts were now round and full, and impossible to hide even beneath her Academy robes. And as she walked he caught the sway of her hips._

_They were alone in the great hall. It was the first time they'd ever been alone together. Sarek was inspired. He questioned with his mind._

Yes,_ was her reply. And he was flooded with happiness that was hers and unsuppressed. _

_He held up two fingers. She responded in kind. _

_And then, he did something terribly daring, just on the verge of __indecency.__ Pulling closer, he dropped his forehead to hers._

_She was not offended, only slightly worried someone would see. _

_He felt an inexplicable urge to bite her..._

_She swallowed; in his mind he felt her jaw clench. _

_She wanted the same. _

_It was a revelation. It was wonderful._

_But through their minds in unison came another thought._ We must control this. The time is wrong...

_In unison, to both of their great satisfaction, they pulled their bodies away. They began to discuss their research and gave into mutual fascination at the other's pursuits, physical urges all but forgotten._

_But later that night Sarek was awoken by that forgotten, though necessary, organ. Panting, he clutched the sheets as an unfamiliar emotion wracked his body and visions of T'Sala whirled through his mind. He wanted to bite her, penetrate her, touch, protect...Shuddering, his body spilled hot liquid upon his stomach._

_He felt T'Sala awaken in her room far across the Academy grounds, her body hot...a spasm running through it. _

_Sarek had never felt such shame. But T'Sala did not reciprocate this feeling._

_Instead, she whispered through their bond, _a practical demonstration.

_In the darkness Sarek blinked in surprise._

It is only a natural physiological reaction; it overcame you while you were unconscious. It seems illogical to feel shame for one's unconscious mind,_ T'Sala mused._ When the time comes we can both rest assured the required anatomy is in working order.

Perhaps we should no longer touch? _Sarek mused back._

_He felt T'Sala analyzing this statement. _ Your proposal is logical. We both have much to accomplish before children and the necessary changes that will bring.

Goodnight...k'diwa, _she whispered softly in his mind._ _It was the first time she'd called him k'diwa. Half my heart, half my soul. _

_She did not reject him for his lack of self control. She even saw the logic in it. He wondered at the random factors of the universe that had brought her to him._

Goodnight, k'diwa, _he replied._

_He felt her slip back into satisfied sleep._

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Panting, he kept his head on the cool cave floor. His body shuddered. Her ship was shaking. He felt her fear...but more than that, he felt the strong bond of the powerful territorial emotion he'd felt the day they'd first touched when they were twenty-two. _ Mine,_ her mind was whispering..._I will claim you as mine...protect you, care for you, bear your children._

His mind and body echoed, and there was relief for both of them in the echo.

And then there was a scream of anger in his mind...not at him...at fate...as illogical as it might be. He felt his body explode in fire. But it was not his body, it was hers...

He screamed in rage when he discovered he was still in one piece, still on the cave floor. T'Sala was dead...he should be dead...

He was no longer alone in the cave...

"We must bring in the replacement," he heard someone saying; it was difficult to determine who over the sounds his own body was making.

"We will call Princess T'Yava."

"She will do. She will have to."

Sarek's mind screamed out, _No I will die. Let me die. _But the sounds that came out of his mouth were only the inarticulate sounds of fury.

**A/N:**

After the fluffy/happy/humorous Reunion, I felt the need to sink my teeth (or key strikes) into some angst. (Not that this story won't have humor…can't seem to keep it out of my work. Life is both sweet and sour and all that. Somebody is going to HAVE TO bake Sarek a Strawberry cake – points if you get that reference.)

Anyway, not sure how far I'll go with this or how deep. Reader feedback appreciated – reviews are the only way my beta Notes and I get paid.

Questions about Sarek's "Late" Pon Farr? Pls see my Forums (click my name, then in my profile you'll see a link to Forums).

One more pre-Amanda chapter...


	2. Fractured

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or T'Pau**

_Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom_

_Notes: Memory Alpha says that Sarek was bonded to, but not married to the mother of Sybock.  
62 isn't particularly late for first onset of Pon Farr -- see my author's profile for more.  
T'Pau is not mentioned in Memory Alpha as Sarek's mother, although I have no gripes with people who portray her as such.  
_  
**  
Fractured**

His body was on fire. On either side of him, men gripped his arms. He may have struggled. He may have slouched in their grip like a rag doll. He may have been screaming.

Sarek heard his mother speaking...she was close enough to touch, but her voice sounded far away. "Take him to the chamber. There is no time for the marriage ceremony. Princess T'Yavi awaits."  
_  
T'Sala...T'Sala...T'Sala...T'Sala..._Sarek closed his eyes, uncertain if he was thinking her name or chanting out loud. On either side, cool hands gripped him. His mother was less than a meter away...but he was alone in his mind...for the first time in fifty-six years.

"My son, she is gone." He felt a ripple of compassion, of concern, of fear. His mother -- through the weaker familial bond they shared. "You must accept T'Yavi -- death is not logical when it is avoidable."

_T'Sala...T'Sala...T'Sala..._He was sure he struggled then, trying to get away. If he could get away, he could join T'Sala in fire and darkness. His bond mate. He was _Hers_, only hers. Someone screamed in anger. Maybe it was him.

And then he smelled her; he did not know who, just that it was definitely a her. His body began to betray him; his mind screamed out for T'Sala, but his body...his body registered that there was a female...young, fertile...he strained now to get to her, not to escape. If it was possible, the fire in his skin became hotter.

Kicking, twisting, attempting to thrash his arms, he struggled against his living bonds towards the female. And then he was free, his feet propelling him forward.

He found her sitting alone in a cavern on a mat, her eyes focused on the floor. He fell to his knees in front of her and reached for her psi points even as he began ripping at the light pants he wore.

When he began to achieve something like consciousness again, it was to find himself on top of a strange woman, a spasm shuddering through him like an earthquake, a chant upon his lips or in his mind. _T'Sala, T'Sala, T'Sala...  
_  
It didn't matter if he said it aloud, of course. The woman beneath him, whose face and features he could barely register, was in his mind. She heard.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The fever broke days later. Awaking on a pallet on the floor, Sarek found himself in a room dimly lit by recessed lighting carved from living rock.

T'Sala was no longer in his mind. That was his first conscious thought.

Someone else was near the space T'Sala had once occupied. She did not fill T'Sala's space though -- barely even touched it.

He felt pain, closed his eyes -- realized it was not his own pain. Rolling to his side, he saw her lying in fetal position facing away just over a hands breadth away from him.

Her back was crisscrossed with scratches and the blooms of green bite marks. His body had struggled to claim what his mind did not fully accept.

Sitting up slowly, he realized she knew he was awake but did not move. Flooded with guilt, he swallowed. Could he ever make this right?

Looking around the room, he saw a basin and some towels near a water dispenser. He walked over, filled the basin with warm water, and brought it and clean towels over to...T'Yavi...he knew her name.

Kneeling down on the floor next to her, he found his mouth was too dry to speak. Whispering through the bond he said, _Please, forgive me. I have wronged you. Please let me help._

Gently soaking and wringing a small towel in the warm basin, he reached towards her shoulder.

Before he could touch her, she rolled to face him. Even beneath bruises and bite marks she was beautiful -- or maybe that was simply an illusion of the bond? No, her features were symmetrical. But...he stared...she was so young.

Searching his mind, he found he knew this information through the new bond, weak as it was. She was only nineteen. They'd sacrificed a baby -- a child -- for him. No doubt she was related to T'Sala in some way and her family wished to strengthen their ties to his clan. She was probably the only available unbonded fertile female...

T'Yavi's young face was the perfect mask of Vulcan calm, but beneath the mask he felt her emotions boil.

"Get out," she said softly.

Perhaps it was confusion, leftover tendrils of the fever still grasping at his mind, but he did not move immediately. This was his bond-mate...and not his bond-mate. His wife...no, not his wife. But he had hurt her; he reached two fingers forward, wishing he could take away some of her pain.

She did not reply in kind. _Revulsion _spilled through the link.

T'Yavi's words were short and clipped. "I saved your life. I will not be a pawn of anyone, ever again. Now. Get. Out. Out of this room. Out of my mind."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"She is with child," his mother, T'Don, said, "but she will not marry you. It will bring dishonor upon her clan, ours, her and you. Have you not tried to sway her through the bond, Sarek?"

He stared at his mother. Of course he had tried -- was trying. He wanted to make this right. T'Yavi knew he didn't have feelings for her, nothing beyond guilt and remorse. He hardly felt gratitude; he'd wanted to die...And she knew the feelings he still had for T'Sala...for a dead woman...and was angry. Jealous. He was trying to convince T'Yavi that with time they both would come to see each other as true bond-mates...It had taken so long with T'Sala...

He still held to the possibility that their union would be legitimized.

Looking down, T'Don said softly, "Of course you tried. She is too young. I tried to convince T'Pau that for a Vulcan whose mate had died, an older match would be preferable. One who had been bonded before. One who had lost. One who would understand. But T'Yavi was what was available, and T'Pau seeks to unify our clans. Now we are all tarnished as illogical."

Staring down at the floor, Sarek said nothing. He might have been horrified at one time by these events, but next to the grief he felt for the loss of T'Sala, all emotions paled in comparison.

Except...he might have a child...that was something to live for. Something to fight for...

"And now T'Yavi plans to break the bond," T'Don said.

Sarek's eyes shot from the floor. It was very un-Vulcan, but his mouth dropped open. He hadn't known...T'Yavi had hidden this from him. He knew she was a strong telepath but...

"She did not inform you, and you did not sense it?" T'Don asked.

"No, Mother. She did not..." Sarek almost stammered.

T'Don took a long breath. "She has flirted with the teachings of the V'tosh ka'tur in the past."

The V'tosh ka'tur. Through their bond Sarek had seen T'Yavi's philosophical inquiries into the ways of the Vulcans without logic. He thought she had put this behind her, but their bond was shallow...fractured....

"We must prepare for the fallout of her actions. I have heard that she is strong enough in her psi abilities to break the bond herself. Why she has not done so yet I do not know," his mother said.

Sarek reached through the tentative link. Why had she not broken the bond if that was her wish? Did she expect something from him? He touched T'Yavi's mind, but the only he response he got was darkness. It was illogical, but Sarek felt as though the air pressure in the room had just dropped.

T'Don said, "If she breaks the bond, you must see a healer and have the same done for you. You will be scarred...again...but in time it will be manageable. You will be able to bond again."

Scarred. Again. He was already scarred by the loss of his bond to T'Sala...now he faced the prospect of losing his bond to T'Yavi...

"And..." his mother said, "it would be good for you to leave Vulcan for a while. Let T'Yavi stay. Let others witness her illogical actions without your presence; let her self destruct."

Stomach dropping to the floor, Sarek protested. "But my child..."

"The child will not be yours, Sarek. She refuses to marry you," T'Don responded, turning away from him. "Nor will the child be mine." From the familial bond Sarek felt _sorrow_, although his mother did not acknowledge this feeling out loud. It would have been unseemly. Still, it was a relief to know someone shared his pain.

T'Don was quiet for a long time. At last she spoke. "The Ambassador to Earth, T'Zena...we have heard rumors about her. Some say that she has adopted too many of the natives' customs. T'Pau has been seeking a suitable observer for her for sometime. After this unfortunate affair, I believe she would be willing to send you."

Sarek stiffened. Earth was barely one hundred years past warp capacity. Its people were emotional and intellectually inferior by all accounts. "I am a scientist, Mother, not a diplomat."

T'Don looked down. "You are also one of our clan. Your emotional control has always been admirable, even for a Vulcan. That is why your first Time was so late..."

Sarek wondered how much of his emotional control was T'Sala's control...or _their_ control...He had no ready answer, so he said nothing.

"We need someone who can observe T'Zena logically," his mother continued. "Obviously, some accommodation must be made by ambassadors to native customs -- but it is a fine line. The reputation of Vulcans as logical beings is vital to our standing in the galaxy. Our reputation as moral and logical followers of Surak must always be maintained first and foremost."

"I am ill-prepared for such an assignment," Sarek said. He did not say he did not want the assignment, did not mention that he wanted to return to his work at the Vulcan Science Academy. His wants were emotional.

"Nonetheless, you will be assigned as junior ambassador under T'Zena. And you will report your findings on her behavior directly to T'Pau and myself," T'Don said.

Sarek's mind was reeling. An odd lump formed in his throat. He had lost T'Sala. He would lose his child and his current bond mate. He had lost his position at the Vulcan Science Academy. He had lost his home world and be forced to live on a cold, wet, inhospitable planet among savages.

Bowing his head, he acknowledged his assent.

**A/N:**  
I do not think that Pon Farr is necessarily a miserable time -- even with a human wife. For a laugh read my story "Overflow" (Spock & Nyota's first Pon Farr together). I think emotional context is extremely important. Sarek didn't enter this "well", so it didn't go well.

Next chapter will start out a little angsty, but will end on a lighter note I think. I can't keep humor out of my fics very long!

I really appreciate reviews, it helps me get up at 5:30 a.m. to write these fics knowing that people are actually, you know...reading them. If you have something to say, even if it is constructive criticism, I'd like to hear it.


	3. Introductions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek**

Special thanks to my beta Notes from the Classroom

**Introductions**

The image came unbidden into his empty mind during meditation.

Parents...T'Yavi's parents..."We indulged you long enough; we did not force you to bond. Now a man's life is in danger...you must..."

Sarek felt _guilt_...no, T'Yavi did. The weight of a man's life. His life.

He saw himself in the cave through T'Yavi's eyes. Running into the room, eyes empty as a frenzied animal's. He felt hot fingers on his psi points; no, her psi points. Felt a bond snake into his mind; no, hers. And then the hot weight of himself upon her and pain.

Blinking, Sarek opened his eyes and stared at his incense stand. Since he had broken the bond with T'Yavi, he was troubled by visions of her life. They crept up on him when his mind was empty, during meditation, or just before waking and sleep--a remnant of their broken bond.

Guilt and shame would serve no purpose now. Taking a deep breath, Sarek let the emotions settle.

He might have tried to block the visions, or seen a healer, but sometimes he caught glimpses of his son, Sybock. Sarek had remained on Vulcan exactly twenty-three days after his and T'Yavi's child was born in hopes he would get to see his son. It had not been allowed. Now he only saw the child in second hand glimpses...and he had no control of when the glimpses came. He wondered if T'Yavi thought they were no longer connected at all, so no longer shielded her thoughts. He saw more of her now than when they had been bonded.

Lifting his head, he gazed out the window. The early San Francisco morning was gray, the city was enveloped in a cloud. Fog, they called it. It made vision difficult and streets and walkways slick with moisture. Very impractical. And chill.

The hum of the hotel room heater filled his ears. He had run it constantly since the night before. Not just for heat, but also to keep the air dry. The cold humidity of San Francisco penetrated walls and seeped into bed clothes. It was distinctly unpleasant.

Rising to his feet, he made his way to the sanitary cubicle to prepare for his first day at the embassy.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Sarek reached the open gates of the embassy at 06:55 sharp. The building behind the wrought iron gate was of an ancient Terran style. The walls on the outside were of a substance he'd read was called stucco. There were large, dark wooden double doors at the entrance of the building.

One door opened as he approached. Standing in the opening was T'Zena, the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth. Sarek recognized her from introductory subspace calls with her. She wore her hair long but swept back conservatively, and she wore traditional Vulcan robes. She was a few years older than Sarek; he'd heard she was unbonded. Her features were symmetrical, her figure healthy...since being unbonded, he noticed these things about females.

Next to her was a human male, his face very pale, hair washed-out yellow.

"Greetings, Sarek," said T'Zena. "This is Josef Friedmann, Chief Financial Officer of the Vulcan Embassy and our associated consulates on Earth and in the Sol System."

Anticipating that Josef might reach a hand in the Terran handshake, Sarek brought his hands quickly behind his back and gave a curt nod.

The expected hand never crossed the space between Sarek and Josef. Instead, Josef merely nodded. Pale blue-gray eyes met his through glass panes mounted on thin wire frames. It took Sarek a moment to realize that these were corrective lenses for a vision problem. He knew humans were advanced enough to be proficient at laser surgery; he wondered at the strange use of...glasses...yes, that was the name for the antiquated Terran technology.

"I have a presentation to give this morning," T'Zena said. "Mr. Friedmann has volunteered to give you a tour of the embassy in my stead."

Nodding once more at Sarek, she turned swiftly on her heels and vanished into the embassy.

Sarek wasn't at all surprised that T'Zena had departed to attend to other duties. He _was_ surprised that a human was Chief Financial Officer of the embassy. It was an important enough position to be headed by a Vulcan, especially knowing humans' far inferior ability with numbers.

Sarek appraised the human male carefully. Friedmann was easily as tall as Sarek himself. He wore the business attire prevalent among males of earth--a light jacket buttoned from its three-centimeter circular collar to its hem, matching pants, and shoes that looked disturbingly like they may have been made of animal hide. Sarek would have said they were of the same age, but that was impossible as human lifespans were only a little more than half that of Vulcans. Perhaps thirty five then?

Friedmann extended a hand towards the space in the doorway. "After you," he said. His pale eyes never left Sarek's.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The public space of the bottom floor consisted of a wide entrance way, offices of the human staff, and a large "ballroom" currently occupied with an exhibit of Vulcan artifacts and paintings. A second floor balcony above the room completely encircled the ballroom and led to offices of the Vulcan staff.

"It is easier to keep the ground floor cool and the upstairs warm for Vulcan comfort; that is why the offices are separated," Friedmann explained.

Sarek noticed that his 'the' sounded like _zee_ and his 'is' sounded like _iz_. "Your Standard is accented."

"I am German," Friedmann replied.

"Your accent is...distracting," Sarek said. "Why have you not chosen to erase it?" Only Vulcans with menial jobs chose not to ameliorate their provincial dialects.

Friedmann's response was quick and curt. "At the age of one or so, humans begin to lose the ability to learn new sounds. Standard is becoming integrated into early curricula across the globe just now. I learned too late to be accent free."

"Very inconvenient," remarked Sarek, climbing the stairs to the second floor. "It is quite cumbersome to have one's population hindered by multiple native tongues and cultures. Hopefully the global adaptation of Standard will help erase those cultural distinctions along with the distracting accents."

They were nearly at the top of the stairs before Friedmann responded. "Mr. Sarek, I happen to be Jewish -- as well as German. I find the idea of erasing human cultural distinctions very disturbing."

Sarek tilted his head. He knew that to be Jewish was to belong to one of the monotheistic religions of the planet.

Reaching the top of the steps, Friedmann waved his hand to the right. "Your and my offices are this way, Mr. Sarek."

As Sarek followed the direction the man had indicated, Friedmann said, "I have to admit, I am curious as to what tasks you will be attending in your office. We were informed just a month ago that we would be receiving a junior ambassador, a position we've never had before...but no word on what you would actually do."

Turning his head, Sarek found his eyes met by Friedmann's. He decided he did not owe the human the dignity of a response.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"pfffffttttttt"

"pffftttttttt"

Standing on the periphery of the two classes of eleven and twelve year olds, Amanda lifted her head quickly in the direction of the sound--and saw Tobias and Julienne, ever partners in crime, on the second floor balcony that wrapped around the main hall of the Vulcan embassy...shooting spit balls through straws. Perfect.

She looked around. Apparently she was the only one who had noticed. Mrs. Applelenass, their teacher, stood ten meters away, nodding her large head in appreciation of the guide. Amanda's own students were being remarkably well behaved...all things considered.

"pfffffttttt"

"pffftttttt"

One of the spit balls hit Mrs. Applelenass in the back of her generous neck. The large woman shivered a little but didn't even bother to turn around. It occurred to Amanda that turning might involve a little more physical exertion than Mrs. Applelenass might be willing to expend but...

Amanda swallowed...The Vulcan Embassy...of all places to misbehave. Making an executive decision, she dashed for a narrow side stairwell she knew from her Vulcan language classes.

Taking the steps two by two, head bent over in exertion, she made her way to the first landing and found her passage blocked by...she blinked...two of the most gorgeous specimens of masculinity she had seen in a long time. It was sad she noticed these things so much since her breakup. It must be true--if you weren't with someone, you were always looking...

One was human -- she'd seen him around: tall, blond, Nordic-looking and wearing the sexiest wire-rimmed glasses. The other was Vulcan. Tall as the human, but dark haired, dark eyed -- and oh, the ears, those glorious ears.

Inspired, she blurted out,_ "Excuse me,"_ in what she hoped was passable Vulcan.

Both men stared.

She smiled. "I'm sorry, I was trying to say _excuse me_ in Vulcan. It didn't come out right though, did it?"

"Your pronunciation was not even barely passable," the Vulcan said, his face an inscrutable mask.

She had just been thinking delicious thoughts about this man, and she had tried to speak his language, and she still had two spitball-shooting children to apprehend. Her face went hot and before she could even think, she blurted out, "As are your manners!"

The human male gave her a smug smile and stepped aside to let her pass.

Amanda nodded at him, shot a scowl at the Vulcan, and dashed up the remainder of the stairs.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Sarek stared after the young human woman as she ran remarkably quickly up the remainder of the steps. He should not have noticed that the alien woman had symmetrical features and was obviously very healthy. That was wrong, wasn't it? He tilted his head...it was very inconvenient to be unbonded.

"Ah..." said Friedmann, following his gaze. "One of the teachers from the school field trip downstairs, no doubt. Pretty girl...I think I've seen her around. I think she takes Vulcan language classes here at night."

"She accused me of being rude," said Sarek, suddenly focused on the brief exchange of words he had just had.

"Because you were," said Friedmann.

"She asked a question and I responded truthfully. How is that rude?" Sarek asked.

"You were too blunt," Friedmann responded. "Generally it is polite to soften your criticisms with praise."

"I can think of absolutely nothing praiseworthy in her pronunciation," Sarek replied.

Raising an eyebrow, Friedmann said, "I can tell you're going to get along very well here."

There was something about Friedmann's tone...Sarek was completely at a loss. The man had just criticized him...but then said he would get along fine. How confusing.

Nonetheless, Sarek reasoned that he spoke Standard completely unaccented, unlike his guide and many of the natives. He was an astrophysicist and a member of the Vulcan Science Academy. His intellect was far beyond the average Terran...certainly he would be able to grasp the subtleties of human interactions with ease. Therefore there could be only one conclusion.

"Thank you, I believe I will prove you correct," Sarek said.

**A/N:**

Auspicious beginning, yes?

Thanks for reading, everyone. If you liked and were entertained, please review!


	4. Teacher Teacher

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Teacher Teacher**

"When the office staff is coming to _the German_ to confide in their unhappiness, you know something is very wrong!" Friedmann said, voice elevated. He stood across the room from Sarek.

Sitting at her desk between the two men, T'Zena said nothing.

Sarek tried to parse the words. Was there something significant about Germans that would make humans disinclined to confide in them?

One of the human's hands flew up in the air. "Mary Darcy was the third reader to quit since you started overseeing the department forty-five days ago, Sarek."

The readers were responsible for analyzing all media related to Vulcans that appeared in Earth's news feeds, plays, art exhibits, movies and television, and they were responsible for making reports. There were readers at the Embassy that were fluent in every human dialect -- all were human.

Friedmann brought his hands to his hips. "I do not have time to be CFO and play counselor to humans you rub the wrong way."

"Why not simply apply Vulcans to the same task?" Sarek asked. "Vulcans can quickly learn new languages. I myself already have a working knowledge of Chinese and Spanish. Twenty-five Vulcans could easily take over the jobs that are currently held by one hundred and five humans."

"Knowledge of the language is nothing without cultural context, Sarek," the ambassador said. "...As the recent turnover in our staff has indicated. For now, I think it would be best if the readers report directly to me."

Sarek stiffened. He had chosen to oversee the readers' reports because he had hoped that would give him a deeper understanding of the various cultures of Earth...and to occupy his time. He had not realized that he was responsible for the turnover in the department, or even that the turnover rate had been unusual. Humans were well-known for being fickle...and they certainly didn't take criticism well. Ms. Darcy's eyes had at one point started to leak during his last conversation with her.

"You don't have time for that..." Friedmann stopped, licked his lips. "...Madam Ambassador...and it should be a human. We are talking about analyzing human responses, after all."

"Agreed on both points, Mr. Friedmann. But we cannot afford to lose more readers," T'Zena replied. "Sarek, you will, of course, be allowed access to all the reports and analyses."

Sarek tilted his head. "Are there any other duties that I could assist you with? I have no wish to be idle."

"You mean you aren't busy enough with whatever it is you were sent here to do?" asked Friedmann.

Sarek noticed the man's jaw twitched ever so slightly. He did not respond.

The ambassador looked at her desk.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Settling in his office later, Sarek mentally reviewed his meeting. He'd failed, apparently -- due to his misunderstanding of human manners, something that seemed like it should be simple. He'd read every available title written by Vulcan authorities on the subject.

He tilted his head. He would solve this problem...But in the meantime, he _did_ have his duties to T'Pau.

Turning his attention to his computer screen, Sarek resumed his report on the one thing he had seen that stood out as an error in T'Zena's logic. Josef Friedmann. Or rather, Mr. Friedmann's assignment as Chief Financial Officer. Unfortunately, so far Sarek had not had much luck.

It was true that the human couldn't remember numbers to any degree a Vulcan would find satisfactory. When Sarek questioned him directly about interest earned on endowment funds and expenses incurred towards charitable donations for the last year broken down by month, Mr. Friedmann had to check the PADDs he kept as crutches. But despite his obvious substandard memory, Friedmann was competent at managing the Embassy's revenue. Sarek could find no examples of errors or accounting sleight of hand.

So today Sarek was investigating something new. He pulled up the returns and asset allocations for the Embassy's reserve funds for the past five years. Perhaps he would find evidence of nepotism in the selection of investment vehicles, or simply poor judgment? Humans were well-known for their ability to fall for Ponzi schemes.

At just that moment he heard Friedmann's voice echo from the doorway. "You must see a healer."

Sarek heard sniffling and then words spoken in Vulcan. _"Your suggestion is logical. I had not expected to be as incapacitated as...as..."_ A soft muffled sneeze followed.

Looking towards the door, Sarek saw Friedmann walk by with an elderly Vulcan gentleman. _ "Do not be concerned about your class tonight,"_ Friedmann said in heavily accented, though tolerably understandable, Vulcan. _"I will find someone to teach it for you."_

Turning back to his monitor, Sarek returned to the business at hand. He was interrupted just five minutes and thirty-two seconds later by Mr. Friedmann at his door.

The human stood with his hands behind his back. "Professor Karmac is sick. If you are looking for something to do, you could cover for him."

Sarek stared at the man, utterly confused. "I was under the impression my knowledge of human...manners...made me an exceedingly poor choice when it came to tasks that required interacting with them."

"You won't learn anything by not interacting with them." Friedmann narrowed his eyes. "You said you did not want to be idle."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

She arrived at her Vulcan language class at the Embassy nearly a half hour early, so Amanda began reviewing the vocabulary words from last week. The sound of footsteps at the door caught her attention. Turning with a wide smile, she attempted her best Vulcan greeting._ "Good evening, Professor Karmac...." _and stopped.

It was The Vulcan. The tall good-looking one that had been so incredibly rude in the stairwell. It was amazing how quickly a strong jaw, sexy pointed ears, and sensuous lips could become rather unappealing after seeing his foot inserted in his mouth.

The Vulcan stood very still in the doorway, then said in his native language,_ "Professor Karmac is ill. I will be teaching tonight."_ He tilted his head. _"Do you understand?"_

Amanda nodded. He stared.

_"Yes, I understand,"_ she said.

_"Your pronunciation --"_ he began.

_"Is --" _she switched to Standard, "barely passable, I remember. But if it were perfect, I would not be in this class, now would I?"

He blinked. "That would not be logical, no. I was going to say specifically that your pronunciation of 'Yes' is tolerable, but you are putting too much inflection on the 'I' in the second part of your statement."

Amanda shifted slightly in her seat. Well, that was slightly better. _"Thank you for the constructive criticism," _she said at last. It was one of the first phrases one learned when studying Vulcan.

The Vulcan walked to the front of the class. He didn't carry notes. Vulcans never did. They seemed to have near-perfect memories. Turning to face Amanda, he put his arms behind his back and said, "You did not find my criticism just now rude?"

Amanda blinked. She hadn't expected that question. "It was blunt. But honest...and I appreciate knowing that at least part of what I said was," she winced inwardly, "...tolerable."

He nodded. "I have been reading up on human manners. And I understand now that is important to begin a criticism with a compliment. But I must confess, I am having some trouble with the implementation of this concept. What does one do when one can find nothing praiseworthy?"

Amanda stared at him, confused for a moment. "I think you can always find something good to say..."

"I disagree. Take, for instance, our last meeting in the stairwell. You managed to render a simple phrase completely unintelligible," the Vulcan said.

"Thank you for reminding me of that," Amanda said, feeling herself go warm again.

"You are welcome. Although, I am surprised you had forgotten. I was not aware human memories were so --"

"I was being sarcastic," Amanda said.

The Vulcan blinked. "Ah...Sarcasm...another concept I have studied but have difficulty with when it comes to practical application." He tilted his head. "Have I offended you again?"

"I don't think you can offend me any more than you already have," Amanda replied tartly.

"Really? That is most convenient. Then we may speak frankly to one another," the Vulcan said.

It suddenly occurred to Amanda that although the Vulcan spoke perfect Standard, he was missing half of what was being said. At least he seemed to be slightly aware of that...still...it was weird how clueless he was. She actually liked Professor Karmac. He wasn't exactly warm, but he was unfailingly polite.

"Are you a member of the Vulcan diplomatic corps or trained as a Vulcan language instructor?" she asked curiously.

"Neither. I am trained in astrophysics and am a member of the Vulcan Science Academy," the Vulcan said.

"Well, that explains it," Amanda said. Inwardly she smacked herself. Now she was just being mean...How had that gotten out? Probably it was the subconscious knowledge that the guy wouldn't get the barb...but maybe he would...

"Explains what precisely?" the Vulcan asked.

Nope. He didn't get it.

"Never mind," she said quickly. And she smiled, determined she would be nice from now on.

"Well, then, back to our previous topic. How could I have possibly provided praise for your first poor attempt at pronunciation?"

He was determined to make being nice hard, wasn't he?

"Well," she said, "you could have praised me for the attempt, and then given me the correct pronunciation as you did just now."

"Why would I praise the attempt?" the Vulcan asked, still standing perfectly straight, eyes almost unblinking, hands behind his back.

"Maybe because you are on my planet, but I'm going out of my way to speak your language to make you feel comfortable," Amanda said.

"You were trying to make me feel comfortable?" the Vulcan asked.

Actually, the other day she had been trying to impress him because...because she had thought that he was good looking. Of course now that she knew his personality that spell was broken...

"Yes," she lied.

"Fascinating," he said.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"My name is Sarek," he said to the young human woman. "And you are?"

"I'm Amanda...Amanda Grayson," the woman said. He noted her eyes were unusually large, but brown, as were most Vulcan eyes...unlike Friedmann's whose were so pale they almost appeared empty.

She had just provided him with the most helpful advice on the practical application of manners that he had yet to receive. He tilted his head and regarded her.

Her forehead glistened slightly, and her wavy shoulder length hair clung in damp dark brown tendrils at her temples. It suddenly occurred to him that they were in a conference room on the second floor; it might be a little too warm for his human students.

"Would the environment be more conducive to learning if it were cooler in here?" Sarek asked.

He would not have thought it possible, but her eyes got even larger -- and her lips turned up slightly. "Yes! That would be great!"

Sarek looked around for environmental controls as the rest of the class filed in. By the time he'd given up and simply opened a window, all the seats were full.

The rest of the hour passed fairly smoothly. Sarek did not offer much praise. But he was very careful to give only specific criticism. No one's eyes leaked, so he deduced he had not been a complete failure.

As he ran through the lessons -- quite boring and monotonous, really; it turned out humans had to use a word eight times before it would be fully committed to memory -- he began to formulate a plan.

Amanda was packing her PADD away when Sarek approached her. "Miss Grayson," he said, "may inquire as to why you are studying Vulcan?"

She looked up at him. "I'm going to apply to graduate school for a degree in education. In my chosen field the comparison of Vulcan to Human teaching methods features prominently. Many influential educators here on Earth believe we should adopt more Vulcan teaching methods."

"That sounds most sensible," Sarek said.

Standing up Amanda replied, "I'm not certain about that. Vulcan and Humans are so different. I'm not sure that Vulcan techniques would be as effective with human children...But anyway, because of the heavy influence of Vulcan practices on my field -- well, any field on Earth right now--the better my Vulcan is, the more likely I am to get into the school of my choice. I'll be better able to understand source materials in your language. The universal translator is useful but still inadequate."

Her motivations were entirely logical. There was only one flaw.

"Your Vulcan is very...rudimentary, but your chosen vocation depends on it," Sarek said.

She appeared to stiffen slightly. "I am mostly self-taught, and your language is very difficult."

Sarek nodded. "We are in similar predicaments. You need to improve your Vulcan. I need someone to aid me in my understanding and utilization of human culture and customs. Perhaps we can work out an arrangement?"

She didn't respond immediately. Instead, her brows furrowed slightly together. "Well...that might be helpful...and interesting..."

"Excellent. Perhaps we can set up a time to meet with one another. I have your name and contact information; shall I contact you?" Sarek asked.

"Okay..." Amanda responded. Then she nodded, and her lips pulled upwards ever so slightly.

At that moment Friedmann stepped through the doorway. "Well, how did it go?" he asked, looking at Sarek.

"I do not think I am qualified to reply," Sarek said.

"He did fine," said Amanda, turning to Friedmann with a smile.

"I don't think I know your name," Friedmann replied stepping forward.

"It's Amanda," she said. Sarek noticed she did not even mention her last name...was that a snub directed at the other man or...

"I'm Josef," the man responded, skipping his own last name and stepping even closer to Amanda. By their increasing proximity Sarek hypothesized that there had been no snub delivered by either party.

Extending his hand to Amanda and taking it in a Terran handshake, Friedmann briefly looked up at Sarek, and then back down quickly to the human woman. "I'm glad Sarek didn't scare you away," he said.

"Oh, don't worry. He didn't. And I'll be back," said Amanda with another smile.

Friedmann pulled away and backed towards the door. He tilted his head in her direction and then in Sarek's and smiled. "It is very good to hear that."

**A/N:**

If you were entertained please leave a review. It really helps motivate me to get out of bed at 5:30 am! And keeps Notes reading and dotting my i's and crossing my t's. (Exhausting work...I'm not one for proper grammar.)

Constructive criticism is welcome too…

One last note – I know that like a lot of Sarek/Amanda story I'm setting her up to be Sarek's cultural interpreter…but truthfully I think that is cannon not plagiarism based on his talk with Spock in the movie.


	5. Needs and Means

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Sarek / Amanda/ T'Pau - and I'm not making any money from this**

Special thanks to my very patient Beta...Notes from the Classroom  
**  
Needs & Means **

He was uncomfortable in his middle. He cried. She pulled him more tightly to her and peeled back the cloth across her chest. He was tucked into a familiar place; his mouth encircled the place that would give him relief. Warm. Sweet. He swallowed. Comfort...Happiness?

The baby was happy. But she...T'Yavi...was not happy. She merely existed. She felt...nothing. But she took care of their son.

The vision faded without any effort on Sarek's part. He had no control over the remnant of the bond. Feelings, images came and went of their own accord.

Opening his eyes, Sarek stared at his incense burner. Despite his former bond mate's exploration of the ways of the V'tosh ka'tur, the Vulcans without logic, she was empty inside...even as she plunged into the ways of those who extolled emotional expression. He tilted his head. She was emptier even than he was.

He checked his internal clock...he had a few moments. He composed his mind in preparation for the day.

The embassy was hosting an important event. Earth did not have technology Vulcan wanted, or dilithium in any particularly great amount. But they did have one thing in great supply that Vulcan needed. Food. Peanuts, almonds, cashews, and coconut...quinoa, wheat, rice, corn and soy...more than Earth's trivial population of one billion could possibly eat.

Until food replicator technology fully developed, Vulcan's six billion inhabitants could feed themselves, most years, but not maintain a surplus.

Earth provided their surplus. Vulcan had other trading partners, but Earth was close and had so much oversupply of foodstuffs that Vulcans did not have to worry about the ethical implications of shipping food off-world.

Moreover, human plant-based agricultural products, with the exception of chocolate and cinnamon, were extremely compatible with Vulcan physiology, more so than the products of any other alien species.

Today the Vulcan Embassy was hosting Terran agricultural ministers from all across the globe, as well as some from the moon and Mars. By Vulcan standards all of the Sol System was awash in water -- even the asteroids.

Sarek looked out the window of his apartment and saw the usual swirl of fog. More water -- and chill.

After work today he would also have his first meeting with the human woman Amanda.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The Terran diplomats had gone. It was late afternoon. Sarek was walking with Friedmann and T'Zena in the hall.

"They laughed at your opening remarks," Sarek said.

"Yes, that was my intent," said T'Zena.

Sarek blinked. "Your intent? To be mocked?"

"I do not believe they were laughing in mockery," T'Zena said.

"They weren't; your delivery was perfect. Very dry," said their human companion.

"Thank you, Mr. Friedmann," said the ambassador.

"Humor is...illogical," said Sarek. This was the first thing in fifty-five days that put him ill at ease.

T'Zena stopped walking and turned to face Sarek. "It is customary in Terran presentations to begin opening remarks with a joke. I do not see it as illogical to accommodate my mode of speaking to the traditions of the natives."

"You are a representative of Vulcan; we do not indulge in illogical pursuits. Surely we can accommodate the natives adequately without adopting their illogical tendencies," Sarek replied.

"As I stated before, I do not think my use of humor was illogical, Sarek," T'Zena said.

"You have to admit, it did verify that they weren't asleep," Friedmann remarked.

"It is not the Vulcan way," said Sarek, not looking at the human.

"I think you just didn't get the joke," the human said.

T'Zena tilted her head in Sarek's direction.

Sarek turned his head to Friedmann. He was sipping a coffee. The man licked his lips. "I will try not to be insulted." He winked. "I wrote that joke."

"If you excuse me and Mr. Friedmann, we have much to discuss. The recent flooding in the North American midwest is going to increase prices by at least 12.25 percent," T'Zena said.

Sarek bowed his head as they strode away, still confused. It was true. He didn't get the joke...that didn't mean it was not illogical.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"Okay, Uncle!" Amanda said.

They were sitting at an outdoor table on a chill September evening, hot cups of tea in their hands.

"Uncle?" Sarek asked.

_"Uncle?"_ Amanda tried in Vulcan.

_"Your pronunciation is...understandable. You still speak with too much inflection. However, I am not your uncle."_ He tilted his head and switched to Standard. "Is this a human attempt at humor?"

"It's a human attempt to stop the Vulcan lesson! I can't go on. My brain is full," Amanda said, then hurried to add, "Not that it wasn't quite helpful! I learned a lot. It was great that you reviewed our text and the requirements for the Vulcan Graduate Admissions Test...and I really do better learning by doing than by reading..."

"Your brain is full...and you called me uncle." He stared at his cup. "Obviously, neither of these statements is true. Neural networks are constantly shifting in humans, growing when put to frequent use, being pruned when use is infrequent...as for being your uncle...that does not even warrant commentary."

"Time for the human cultural lesson!" Amanda said with a smile. She would have been happy to discuss warp coil design if it would get her out of more rapid-fire Vulcan practice...but actually, culture and learning were up her alley.

Sarek straightened up and fixed his gaze directly on her. It was a little like being a bug under a microscope. She wasn't sure if she found it unnerving or pleasant, but she charged ahead. "We cry 'Uncle' when we want to surrender," Amanda said.

"I was not aware our relationship was adversarial," Sarek said.

"It's not." She smiled. "The adversaries are my poor Vulcan skills," Amanda said, "and my brain's inability to absorb any more Vulcan lessons this evening."

It would be nice, of course, if he had mentioned something to the effect of her Vulcan improving...

"Are these attempts at humor?" Sarek asked.

She blinked. That question again. She considered. "I guess so...I hadn't really thought of it...I could have just told you to stop speaking in Vulcan," she mused.

"And been more easily understood," Sarek commented.

"But then you wouldn't have learned anything new," Amanda shot back quickly. There was no way she was going to let a Vulcan astrophysicist get the upper hand. It would probably go to his head.

He blinked. "That is true. Please continue."

"I suppose sometimes humans say things in a way that isn't the most obvious way and we do find it funny," she said.

"Explain."

Now it was her turn to blink. "I don't know...maybe we just get bored with what is usual and seek the unusual. An unusual turn of phrase makes us laugh...or sometimes not laugh, but it is amusing. It must release serotonin in our brains or something."

Amanda hoped that last bit would satisfy his scientific curiosity.

"So," Sarek said looking away from her, "humans say something in a way that is unexpected and that is what constitutes a joke. And it is...funny."

"Well, it isn't always funny," Amanda replied. "Sometimes it falls flat."

He stared at her. Ah...idioms were a problem. "I mean, sometimes it isn't funny even when we want it to be."

"This is complicated," he said.

"I guess it is," she admitted, "but only if you think about it. I don't think I analyze a joke too much before I make it. It usually just pops into my head."

"Pops into your head?" Sarek asked.

"Ugh...another idiom," Amanda replied. "It means, something just occurs to me..."

She took a sip of her tea. She'd never thought this deeply about humor before. She looked back up at the Vulcan. "And there are other types of humor, of course. There is sarcasm, and irony, and stating the obvious, and slapstick...not to mention there are knock-knock jokes, elephant jokes, guy walks into a bar jokes..."

She shrugged and grinned. "So a guy walks into a bar..."

She held her breath for a moment and looked at Sarek.

His head tilted. "And?"

"He passed out!" Amanda giggled...more at Sarek's lack of expression than the actual joke.

Sarek looked at the human woman a long moment. "I think it will be quite impossible for me to comprehend the subtleties of this concept in one sitting." He decided to experiment though -- purely in the interest of science. "I believe my brain might be full."

Miss Grayson -- Amanda, as she insisted on being called, put her hand to her mouth, but she appeared to be smiling. Her eyes got very wide. "Ha! You're getting it. I guess they don't pass out astrophysics degrees on Vulcan for nothing!"

An example of the type of humor called 'stating the obvious'?

"Indeed, they do not," Sarek replied.

He looked at his tea cup. "Although I may not grasp the subtleties, I believe it would be most beneficial to understand why humor is employed. Is there a logical impetus behind it?" If he was going to make an accurate report to Vulcan, he should know.

"Logical impetus?" Her expression went completely blank.

If Sarek hadn't known better, he would have thought that the question had never occurred to her before. And then he realized, she was human; there was a high probability that the logical underpinnings of her behavior never entered her mind.

He was just about to write humor off as completely illogical when Amanda sat up very straight and said, "Actually...now that I think about it," she smiled, "I think there is..."

"Explain," said Sarek.

Amanda licked her lips in a way that made Sarek swallow -- discreetly. It was really quite inconceivable that after over six billion years of evolution and vastly different environments that her lips were so...Vulcan, no matter how human the gesture.

She grinned again and lifted her eyebrows. "Social cohesion. When we laugh with people, it makes us feel closer to them, it makes us feel more comfortable, bonded to them in a way."

"Bonded?" Sarek asked, surprised. Then he ran a mental check...it did not translate from Vulcan to Standard appropriately.

"Yes," said Amanda, "it does. Unless the joke is obnoxious or insulting -- then it can do the opposite."

"How do you tell the difference?" Sarek asked.

Amanda sighed. "That is the really hard part."

"It gets more complicated?" Sarek asked.

"Oh, much," Amanda said.

Sarek decided not to dwell on that. "So it serves a logical purpose. And perhaps, in a hypothetical meeting of trade ministers, humor delivered in the midst of opening remarks is more than simply waking people up and catering to an illogical human desire to be constantly entertained?"

Amanda was silent for a minute. "Well, In the hypothetical situation you just described..." her eyes narrowed, "...a good joke would both help social cohesion -- especially if the teller were, say...a Vulcan. People don't expect humor from Vulcans and see them as rather standoffish.

"But it would definitely help keep people awake, too..." Her jaw became somewhat...tight. "And that might be an extremely logical reason to employ humor in and of itself. Especially if said hypothetical meeting was with agricultural ministers and the hypothetical teller of the joke was dependent on the hypothetical grain of said hypothetical illogical audience she was catering to...and it would be really a shame if her much-praised 'sense of humor' among humans was regarded as illogical."

Sarek could only stared her – how had she so quickly grasped the nature of the situation?

"I'm human, not an idiot," Amanda said.

Sarek parsed her words. He noticed that her eyebrows were drawn rather closely together. Had he offended her once again? Could he apply today's cultural lesson to make amends?

"Is that an example of 'stating the obvious'?" he asked...he wouldn't call her an idiot...per se. She did have that rather faulty human memory, and he hadn't had a chance to test her mathematical abilities, or her chess playing skills. But obviously she had some powers of deductive reasoning.

Amanda smiled. "I certainly hope so."

He studied her. She was smiling. He was picking this up fast...and he'd learned much.

Apparently, T'Zena had a reputation on Earth for a sense of humor...was that why his people were concerned with her adopting too many of the native customs? If so, he had a logical basis to allay some of their concerns. He felt satisfied that this information would help him in his next briefing with T'Pau.

**A/N:**

Thank you for reading! If you were entertained, please review. Reviews help keep Notes and me going.


	6. Insinuations

**  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda**

Special thanks to my beta Notes from the Classroom.  
**  
Insinuations **

Sarek didn't just take Amanda's input on the Vulcan ambassador's 'much praised' sense of humor. He did a thorough literature review and discovered that unequivocally, her 'dry sense of humor' was regarded as a good thing by his human hosts. When he presented his findings to T'Pau, he was certain to point out that this 'native tendency' did apparently have a logical underpinning.

Listening across the subspace channel, T'Pau did not comment. When he was finished, she nodded. "We will take your findings under advisement. With the drought in our Southern Hemisphere, it is indeed important that relations with Earth are cordial."

It was important that they humor the humans, then...so to speak. Sarek looked down at the ground as that thought "popped into his mind." He, of course, did not say it aloud.

"And what of your investigations into the Embassy finances, and Mr. Friedmann?" T'Pau asked.

Sarek met T'Pau's gaze. "I have not found anything yet. He has been working as the Chief Financial Officer for three years, although he was employed below the last CFO -- a Vulcan, for five years before that."

"Yes, yes, I know," T'Pau said. "There is a lot of material to go through. Mr. Friedmann has had access to information that is of a sensitive nature -- it is partially why I allowed him to be assigned to such an important position...He is...problematic..."

Sarek took a short breath. Was T'Pau saying she had bribed Friedmann with a position of importance to buy his silence?

"Has he insinuated that he might attempt to blackmail us?" Sarek asked, internally beginning to fume.

T'Pau tilted her head. "It would be convenient if we were to discover some evidence of accounting malfeasance...Your continued scrutiny is welcome."

Sarek bowed his head. "If there is anything to be found, I will find it."

"I trust you will, Sarek, son of T'Don. T'Pau out."

Looking up, Sarek watched the subspace screen flicker to black.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

A few weeks later, Sarek found an oddity among the Embassy's real estate holdings. Josef had recently authorized repairs and renovations to a building that as far as Sarek could tell had never been officially occupied. Sarek decided to walk by and investigate. Inviting Amanda along seemed completely acceptable. He was scheduled to have his fourth meeting with her that day anyway, and he found her general knowledge of the city very helpful. Lately he'd decided going on local explorations with other Vulcans wasn't as interesting -- they seldom provided a perspective different from his own. Perhaps she could give him background on the general locale, its denizens, architecture and history from a human point of view?

With these thoughts in mind, he asked Amanda to meet him at the Southeast corner of Golden Gate Park.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

It was a bright, crisp October day. Amanda met Sarek at the chosen location a little perplexed. The last few meetings had been at indoor places. Warmer places.

After the customary Vulcan greetings, they walked down Lincoln Avenue, Golden Gate Park on their right, houses on their left. Sarek found clever ways to work all of her vocabulary words into the conversation. Whenever he used a word she hadn't yet learned, he'd pause and give her a chance to try to decipher it from the context. Once she'd guessed or he'd provided the meaning, he'd move on.

Usually Amanda was good for about forty-five minutes to an hour of this. But this particular day had been stressful. She'd gotten into an argument with one of the senior instructors at her school about the merits of flash cards -- she was pro, the other instructor was con. "Flash cards are boring; if these kids haven't picked up their multiplication tables by now, they'll never learn them," the instructor maintained. Amanda maintained this was tantamount to giving up on the kids she taught...and she didn't believe in giving up on her kids, no matter how disadvantaged their backgrounds.

"Okay, okay, stop!" she cried after Sarek had asked her a question that she was fairly certain had to do with the structural integrity of the local architecture. If she knew words to describe bricks and mortar and earthquake scales, they were certainly inaccessible to her tired brain at the moment.

_"Amanda, it has only been forty-two minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Are you certain you wish me to stop the lesson?" _he asked in Vulcan.

"Yes!" She shook her head. "Why do I do this to myself?" she muttered.

"Do what to yourself?" Sarek asked.

Amanda rolled her hand in the air. "This. Vulcan lessons...grad school..." She sighed. She wasn't even in grad school yet and she was exhausted just preparing for it.

"I have no answer to that," her Vulcan companion said. "But I would be curious to hear your thought process on the matter."

Amanda sighed. "I'm sorry. I had a long day. A difficult day at work."

Sarek's head tilted. "You have said at times that your students are unruly. You have also said a graduate degree will give you access to any teaching position you would wish. Are you attempting to better yourself to find a more advantageous placement with more motivated students?"

"No," Amanda said. "No...that's not it. I love my students. They just happen to come from difficult backgrounds. They aren't taught good study habits at home..." She shook her head. "A lot of them don't even have two-parent households -- it puts a lot of strain on the single parent. There are exceptions to every rule, but usually the kids don't fare as well." She took a deep breath; she hated admitting her species' failings to a race known for its logic and perfection. "You probably don't have that situation on Vulcan."

Sarek was quiet for a moment. "It is a...deeply dishonorable situation...but it does happen."

Amanda nodded grimly. "Sometimes it is a matter of poor planning--" How many times had she met with young mothers who had thought they could shack up with a drug addict and change him? How many times had she encountered women who simply hadn't used birth control because...because...they were simply incapable of taking control over their own lives? So many seemed to live in a daze...

But...

"Other times, you know, bad things just happen to good people. The universe is very random..." She shrugged. How many Starfleet widows and widowers were in this town? She knew some of their kids. Even though they were slightly better off financially, it was still rough on the remaining parent. Providing emotional support for children was hard, even when you could tag team with a spouse. When everyone in the family was in grief...

"I never want to leave teaching my kids. Although I think my parents would like that," she said.

"Explain," Sarek said.

"Everyone in my family is doctors, lawyers, engineers and entrepreneurs. I don't think they ever imagined me teaching junior high...especially not the kids I teach."

"I had not realized parental opinion mattered so much to humans," Sarek said. "I was under the impression that human culture revolved around the pursuit of temporal happiness and personal self-gratification."

Amanda huffed a bit. "Of course we care about what our parents and family think -- or most of us do. And what is wrong about the pursuit of happiness --"

She stopped suddenly, seeing an advertisement for a high definition subspace channel receiver on a passing shuttle bus. The tag line was "Helping You Envision Happiness."

She swallowed. "Okay, most of our commercial culture sells happiness in the form of goods...and I can see where you get your idea that our pursuit of happiness might be shallow. But the truth of the matter is that most of us realize, at a certain point in time, that happiness isn't something you buy, or even something that you find by seeking it. Happiness is what comes to you when you're doing activities that you find important, engaging and meaningful...I find teaching children in inner city schools meaningful.

"Certainly you've noticed that human abilities vary a lot. We're still catching up from the Big Mistake...helping the people at the bottom reach their full potential is meaningful to me. I think it benefits all of humanity...not just my students."

The Vulcan was quiet. "Your motivations sound almost...logical. Perhaps you should continue along your current career trajectory without the distractions of furthering your education."

Amanda sighed. "No, no, no...if I think about it rationally, grad school and Vulcan lessons won't hurt my students. If I'm honest, I have to admit I like the mental challenge...and what I learn might actually enable me to better help my current students."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"That also sounds quite logical." Sarek looked down at the petite human walking next to him. Some of the topics of their conversation had been hitting a little too close to home. How would his son fare without him?

"Hey," she said, "and if I wasn't studying Vulcan, I wouldn't have gotten to know you better. It is really interesting getting to know someone who is...well...an alien."

"Agreed," said Sarek. The similarities and divergences in their cultures were quite interesting to scrutinize. It was particularly interesting that the pursuit of happiness, although seemingly illogical, had potentially logical underpinnings.

Amanda's eyes swept through an open gate and down a narrow road that led to a small house situated in the park. "I've always wondered about that house there...I wonder how the owners managed to get space on public land."

"Indeed," said Sarek. "I actually wanted to investigate this residence. It has been owned by the Vulcan Embassy since the Embassy was established here in San Francisco. But I can find no evidence of the building ever being occupied by any of the Vulcan staff, or even leased. Still, there were massive repairs and renovations authorized recently."

Amanda blinked at him. "Hmmm...well, when Vulcans first arrived we pretty much gave them anything they wanted...I suspect they've given them much more than private little cottages set off from the main road..."

Moving into the driveway, the human woman said, "There's a lot more land than actual house...it's actually hard to see it through the trees...Sarek, I think I see a maintenance truck up there."

She turned to him and smiled. "It's a cute little place...and it belongs to the embassy, and you work for the embassy...it couldn't possibly be construed as trespassing if we went to have a peek, could it?"

Tilting his head, Sarek pondered diplomatic immunity and local property laws. "I am not certain," he admitted.

"Good enough for me!" said Amanda turning and heading up the drive. "Oh...look, I think the front door is open."

Sarek hurried into step beside her.

**A/N**:  
If you were entertained, please review. It is the only way Fan Fiction authors get paid!


	7. The Vulcans Burden

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**The Vulcans' Burden**

Walking in step with Amanda up the driveway, Sarek was struck by the density of the trees around him. By Vulcan standards it was a jungle -- though he had seen pictures of Earth forests that could be penetrated only with the aid of land-clearing blades. He inhaled deeply, noting that Amanda did the same. The scent was slightly spicy...

"Eucalyptus trees," Amanda said. "They aren't native to this area, but they thrive."

The sun disappeared overhead behind the trees, and then Sarek noted the dappled sunlight spots on the ground beneath the trees becoming more muted.

"Fog's rolling in," Amanda said.

Sarek looked up at the sky; from what little he could see, the fog did, indeed, appear to roll.

His thoughts on the matter were interrupted by the voice of a man coming out of the house. "Hey, are you from the Vulcan Embassy?"

"He is. I'm just tagging along," said Amanda, responding to a short little man in some sort of coverall.

"I'm Don," said the little human.

Sarek nodded and stated his name.

Amanda smiled and gave hers.

"Nice to meet you. Well, just to let you know, I finished most o' the repairs. As you know, the roof needed to be replaced...just age," he said, gesturing at the top of the building. "Come in and see the rest..."

They followed him through a nondescript door into the small single story house. Like most houses in San Francisco, it was made of stucco.

Don gestured around the first room they entered. It was completely devoid of furniture; only a few pillows were on the floor. Sarek noted lights set into the ceiling. "Floors were getting old, and you know problems with termites in these parts. Replaced the floor; also some of the two by fours in the walls had to go. Called in an exterminator after T'Kela, your real estate manager, got approval for the expenses."

Leading them into another room where four heavy wooden doors sat propped against the walls, Don said, "What I wanted to talk to you about is getting some better locks put on the front door. The bedroom and bathroom doors were ripped off their hinges...I don't even know how...I mean, they were screwed pretty tightly into the two by fours beneath...I thought, you know, maybe the termites...but those two by fours behind these were fine..."

Sarek went up and examined the doors. One had a splintered hole that went all the way through at fist height. A human wouldn't have the strength for this kind of damage. But a Vulcan male...

Don kept talking. "Ripped clear out of the wall...and that one...well, I don't know, had to have been some sort of battering ram. That is a solid inch and a half of oak. I guess you guys had a break-in? I know you've got security...but, well, it must not have worked. If you ask me, you need a couple more good old-fashioned bolts on the door, and maybe some bars on the windows, too."

"Huh...kind of a rather Spartan bed on the floor in here," Amanda said from another room.

Sarek was beginning to have a sinking feeling in his stomach. He strode into the next room where she stood looking at a pallet on the floor. It looked exactly like the mat he'd woken up on after his pon farr but had a short wrought iron head and base boards with bars perpendicular to the ground bolted to the floor on either end.

"It's getting really foggy out there," Amanda said. Sarek lifted his eyes to see her staring out the window.

Following her gaze, he noticed he could not even make out the trees that surrounded the little house.

Noticing her body shiver, he turned his eyes back to her. She wore a high-necked sweater beneath a fitted, adequately warm coat, so it was not the cold that was affecting her.

She looked so much like a Vulcan on the outside. For two races who had spent over six billion years apart, humans were inexplicably Vulcan-like. Bipedal. Mammalian. Faces and limbs assembled almost exactly the same. Except for the round arch of the eyebrows and ears, Amanda could pass for a Vulcan woman...

But inside...her organs were arranged differently. Her lungs not as expansive. Her bones and muscles less dense...as much as she looked like a Vulcan female, she was much more fragile. Would a Vulcan in the heat of _plak tow_ be dissuaded by her fragility?

"This place is creeping me out, Sarek," Amanda said.

He swallowed. It suddenly struck him that his people's great shame was also their great burden. His people had a duty to protect new species from the baser natures beneath their logic.

"I want to leave," Amanda said.

"Departing would suit me as well, Amanda."

He took a quick glance at the mat on the floor, and suddenly he remembered the image of T'Yavi's bruised and battered body...the pain she felt.

Turning back to Amanda, he noticed her body shivered again...but her feet did not move. She did not belong here. Something about the scene was troubling her; she did not deserve to be troubled by his people's failings. Putting a hand gently on her shoulder, he turned her and urged her towards the door -- acceptable physical contact to render a comrade in shock. He dropped his hand as soon as her feet began to move on their own.

"What about those extra locks and bars on the windows?" Don asked as they walked by.

Not stopping, Sarek responded, "Please consult T'Kela, the real estate manager." Then he halted. "Have you ever dealt directly with Josef Friedmann?"

"Who?" asked Don.

Sarek tilted his head....for a moment he had thought that Josef knew what the little house was for. But perhaps he did not...perhaps he just approved the expenses...or...was knowledge of this place and what happened inside something he used as a bartering chip in his dealings within the Embassy?

"It is of no concern to you," Sarek replied. "Thank you."

He took a few quick steps to catch up to Amanda. "You know," she said as he fell in stride with her, "this place is so far set back from the road...If you screamed back here, I don't think anyone would hear."

Sarek said nothing. That was, of course, precisely the idea.

"I'm cold...I'd really like to get a cup of tea," Amanda said.

"Let us go to the usual place," Sarek replied without really thinking about it.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The usual place was by Amanda's home. It was getting dark as she sat down inside with Sarek and pulled a mug of her favorite chai tea up to her nose.

Sarek was quiet. She wondered if he found the house creepy? Did Vulcans get creeped out? Just the way it was empty...and the way the fog rolled in, and suddenly feeling so secluded.

He obviously had understood her discomfort. She recalled his hand gently touching her shoulder. It might have been her imagination, but she swore she could feel the heat from it all the way through her coat.

Sipping her tea she asked, "So why do you think the Embassy keeps that house? It isn't extravagant...not a place for a diplomat, that's for sure."

Sarek didn't respond.

"Maybe they use it for a temporary residence occasionally," Amanda said.

"Something like that, I suspect," Sarek said, staring into his own tea.

"So, shall we set up a time to meet two weeks from now? Perhaps Wednesday?" the Vulcan asked, suddenly changing the subject.

"That sounds fine --" Amanda said. Then she was inspired. "You know, there is an exhibit of Muir Woods photography that is going to be displayed at one of the museums in town. It's supposed to look like a fairy land there; the trees have been morphed by radiation exposure. It's so bad the photographers had to wear hazmat suits."

She actually really wanted to go see the photos, maybe even pick up a book for the kids in her class with before and after shots of the forest. Some of them had never even left the city.

Sarek looked up from his tea. "That sounds...fascinating. It is set then; just send me the time and --"

"Oh...wait..." Amanda winced. "We have to make it Thursday. I have a date that Wednesday night..." She rolled her eyes. "I don't normally plan dates so far in advance but the guy travels a lot..."

"Thursday, then," said Sarek, not responding in any way to her declaration. Why had she suspected he would? He was a Vulcan; they didn't care about that sort of thing, did they?

She decided to prod just a little bit, just for fun. "Great...That way you can ask me questions about my hot date the night before."

"Hot date?" the Vulcan asked.

"Oh, I really don't know," said Amanda. "I've never met the guy."

"How does this relate to temperature?" Sarek asked.

Amanda laughed and launched into an explanation.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Sarek's next briefing with T'Pau occurred eight days, thirteen hours and twenty-seven minutes after his visit to the house with Amanda. Obviously, the building had a purpose. He was curious, though...

"T'Pau...does Mr. Friedmann have knowledge of the purpose of the home in Golden Gate Park?"

The subspace channel flickered briefly with static. T'Pau blinked -- whether from the interruption in the connection or his question, Sarek couldn't tell.

"You discovered the house's existence and determined its purpose, I take it?" T'Pau said.

"Yes, of course," Sarek said. "Is Friedmann using knowledge of what happens there to blackmail us?"

T'Pau blinked again. "With Josef Friedmann, there are...many concerns."

Sarek actually had something else to report to T'Pau. Something that he was certain would likely incriminate Friedmann. "I think I have discovered something that may potentially be accounting fraud..."

T'Pau leaned infinitesimally closer to the screen. "Indeed, Sarek? It would be most useful if we had the potential for jail time to hold against him."

Sarek caught his breath at this. If Josef had committed fraud, the logical thing to do would be to prosecute him and have him go to jail for his crimes...but T'Pau was talking of blackmail herself...

Of course, if Friedmann did know about Pon Farr, the risk of his exposing Vulcan's shame would make blackmail, though unseemly, a logical way to stop him.

"I discovered that from year to year the medical expenses vary widely. Obviously, this has to do with varying rates of births and illnesses among our small population here. But three years ago there was an enormous spike in the miscellaneous medical expense budget --"

"You will not investigate the 235,456 Terran credits of miscellaneous medical expenses incurred three years ago," T'Pau said.

Something was niggling at the back of his mind...an emotion he couldn't name...a desire to disobey...simply for his own curiosity. But it would serve no _logical _purpose. Obviously, T'Pau was informed...She knew the exact amount of the expenses in question. "As you instruct, T'Pau."

"Continue scrutinizing the books; if you find any other irregularities, inform me. But the expenses incurred three years ago are of absolutely no concern to you."

The spark of curiosity in Sarek's mind was bursting into a raging fire, and the desire to disobey fed the flames.

He would do his best to meditate it away.

**A/N:**

Reviews are the only way fan fiction authors and our betas get paid. If you were mildly entertained. Please review!

P.S. I'm getting a little overwhelmed with Christmas goings ons right now. This may be my last update until Saturday. Sorry. Happy Holidays Everyone! Live Long and Prosper.


	8. Touche

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek or Amanda**

Special thanks to my Beta...Notes from the Classroom

**Touche**

The soft curve of the Sybock's cheek glowed in the sunlight pouring in the open window, one tiny pointed ear silhouetted against the light. The baby was sleeping and his mind was utterly blank in unconsciousness...

The mind, and the vision, were both beautiful to Sarek...but the conduit through which he saw the vision...

T'Yavi was disturbed...She did not see a child...she saw an empty shell of needs. A reminder of how weak she was...how she had caved. Received nothing. She was weak like the child. Guilt. Shame.

_T'Yavi..._

Sarek tried, like so many times, to call to her. But it wasn't a real bond. Just a shadow of a bond. There was no response.

He tried to remove himself from T'Yavi's feelings and focus on Sybock. The little one's breathing was regular, strong. Their child was well.

Sarek could have remained focused on the vision for hours, but his internal timer alerted him it was time to go. Letting his eyes flutter open, he focused on the incense burner in front of him and then stood to prepare himself for another day of work.

Mentally he noted that he also was scheduled visit the exhibit of Muir Woods photography with Amanda. At least he would have some mental stimulation in the day ahead.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

His work was not mentally stimulating. He was more than competent to deal with numbers in any form...but digging through endless line items in expense accounts and verifying electronic receipts was not precisely challenging to him. It was more of a challenge avoiding the temptation to uncover the source of that huge spike in miscellaneous medical expenses...he pushed it out of his mind...

...and then faced similarly inconvenient thoughts. It was logical to place him here. He was capable if not challenged. And it was useful for his family to keep him out of the way as T'Yavi spiraled downward. If he remained on Vulcan his failure to dissuade her from her irrational behavior would make her failure his own, and by extension his families -- even T'Pau would be tainted. She was most likely the one who insisted on the uniting of Sarek's and T'Yavi's clans...

Sarek's mother was right. T'Yavi really was too young. And her logic was not even strong for one her age. Her dabbling in the philosophies of the V'tosh ka'tur was evidence of that. She was helpless against her emotions.

And he could not fault her emotions. She had been used. By her family. By his family. By him. And now she felt used by Sybock.

Taking a deep breath Sarek dug back into line items in incidental expenses from a year prior. There was 300 Terran credits spent on flowers sent to commemorate the death of a Terran diplomat. Sarek confirmed that flowers were an appropriate bereavement gift, verified that they were delivered to the correct address, verified that the Terran in question had in fact died. And moved on to the next incidental purchase...

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Amanda stared at the photograph. The photographer had used time lapse photography to capture Muir Woods at night. The camera was on the ground and showed a slight rise among the trees -- wickedly gnarled mutated giant redwoods that twisted to the sky like tangled curtains. On the ground were glowing spots of pale green; her electronic guide identified these as irradiated rocks.

Above the tree tops was the time lapse blur of stars in the sky. Floating amid the tree branches were glowing fireflies -- yellow, pink, green, blue and white lights on their abdomens. Some were apparently nearly as large as her thumb. Radiation's weird magic.

Sarek was next to her reading his electronic guide, something about the specific spot on the genome responsible for the fireflies' various colors. Ahh...the beauty of self-directed guides and tours. Each visitor could follow his own interest.

She studied his profile and her eyes were drawn, of course, to his lovely pointed ears. As much as his features were now famliar to her--as well as his near inability to keep his foot out of his mouth--the ears were still alluring...which reminded Amanda of something. The Muir Wood photos really did look like a pictures of fairy lands from old earth myths. She pulled up another picture on her electronic guide that showed just such an illustration...complete with elves...

"Explain." She had wanted to use his own brusque command against him for ages. She handed Sarek the guide with the illustration of the elf magnified on the screen. The picture clearly showed pointed ears...and somewhat less obviously, slanted brows.

Sarek glanced at the picture. "An illustrated picture of a Vulcan in unusual garb..."

"...it's from the 20th century, Sarek."

He blinked. "Perhaps it is mislabeled."

Ah, the joys of befuddling an astrophysicist.

"It's a picture of an elf," Amanda said. "Kind of strange that they look so much like Vulcans, don't you think?"

Sarek went into data bank mode. "An elf: one of a class of preternatural beings, especially from mountainous regions, with magical powers, given to capricious and often mischievous interference in human affairs, and usually imagined to be a diminutive being in human form; sprite; fairy...Vulcans are hardly diminutive..."

"_Usually_ diminutive...did you know there is an old Terran saying that says successful technology is indistinguishable from magic," Amanda said. "You know what I'm thinking..."

"Without a mind meld, no," Sarek replied, meeting her eyes.

Amanda almost laughed...but not quite. "Hey, you're getting this humor thing...you're smarter than I thought."

"You must not have thought much of me," Sarek responded, his voice so dry she could not tell if he was teasing her or not...

Two could play at this game. "I think I'll take that mind meld now."

"It was a comment, not an offer -- and are you serious?" Sarek asked, head tilted ever so slightly.

"No."

"Then why did you ask the question?" the Vulcan replied, his face ever impassive, his voice level.

"Because I'm teasing you," she replied.

Sarek, the walking dictionary, returned. "To tease: to irritate or provoke with persistent petty distractions, trifling raillery, or other annoyance, often in sport. This...conversation...is sport to you?"

Amanda had never thought of it that way. "I guess...yeah..." she grinned. "A sport for my brain!"

"So humor, in some forms, can be an intellectual exercise for the mind?" Sarek asked.

She felt herself smiling like a shark. The lure of low hanging fruit. "You know, I believe it is. But perhaps it is an intellectual activity beyond the prowess of Vulcans?"

Bouncing on the balls of her feet at the sheer audacity of that dig, she did her best not to laugh.

If she did not know better, she would have sworn that Sarek stood a little bit straighter than before...that couldn't be possible, could it? Vulcans had...hubris? Of course, that's what everyone said, but...

"I do not know why you didn't inform me before that it was an intellectual exercise. That would have lent weight to your argument that humor is a logical past time...And I very much doubt it is beyond my mental prowess. Especially, if the goal of this sport is to elicit an emotional response from me," Sarek stared hard at her for a moment, then moved to the next photo, this one of a glowing banana slug.

"Is that a land-dwelling mollusk?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Fascinating," Sarek said, leaning forward.

"He is kind of cute. Whether or not my teasing elicits an emotional response from you, if it makes me laugh, it's points for me."

Sarek straightened again and looked at her. "I would think that an emotional response from you would be points for me."

Amanda considered. "Perhaps a win-win then...But back to my original query...how could it possibly be that our fanciful notions of elves look so much like Vulcans? Any pre-reform shenanigans have you guys popping by for a visit or two?"

"Highly unlikely. If we had popped by in our pre-reform stage, Earth would be a very different place," Sarek replied, moving again to another photo.

"How so?" asked Amanda.

"Earth would most likely be under Vulcan domination," Sarek said.

...Of course, some people said this about Earth anyways...But Amanda knew he was referring to the near-mythical savage pre-reform Vulcan. She couldn't quite picture Sarek -- his nose at this moment nearly touching the next photograph--in any sort of emotional outburst, savage rage, or otherwise.

Drawing closer to the picture, she peered at what he was looking at -- a soft pinkly-glowing caterpillar sitting atop an enormous mushroom. Hello, Alice in Wonderland.

Raising an eyebrow, Amanda asked, "But how do you explain it then?"

"I have no explanation." Sarek said, tilting his head and leaning closer.

...and Amanda saw another opening. "Come on, doesn't that enormous brain of yours have any sort of imagination? Or is imagination, like humor, something Vulcan brains just don't have the prowess for?"

That was delicious, if she did say so herself.

Sarek drew himself up beside her. "You expect me to hypothesize with very little data," he said.

Amanda smiled. "Yes."

Sarek took a breath and looked away for a moment. "In human depictions of themselves and other bipedal sentient beings, I have noticed a tendency to artificially enhance and exaggerate certain features. Skin and muscle tone, mammary glands on females...I can only deduce it is because humans find these features more attractive." He looked down at Amanda. "Perhaps...Terrans simply find pointed ears to be aesthetically pleasing?" he asked.

Amanda felt herself go hot...that wasn't the answer she had expected...

"Your face appears to have acquired a slightly reddish cast, your mouth is open yet no words are coming out, and your breathing has changed...I believe this is evidence of an emotional response." He moved to the next photograph. "...and my point, I believe."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

They were in the museum's cafe. It overlooked a garden Amanda said was Japanese in style. It was getting misty outside once again. Sarek could feel the chill of the local atmosphere's moisture begin to sink through his clothes. Closing his eyes just a moment, he adjusted his internal thermostat.

_"You have not asked me about my meetings to determine potential suitability for a life partner," _Amanda said suddenly in barely understandable Vulcan. "_There is no Vulcan word for _date. _I thought you might find my improvisational abilities fascinating."_

_"Your improvisational abilities are acceptable -- I appreciate that you have gone out of your way to learn new vocabulary. But you must watch your prosody. Restrain your inflection to the first two syllables of every sentence," _Sarek replied, knowing she'd understand...as long as he spoke slowly...they'd been over this many times before.

Amanda took a sip of her tea. _"Are you going to ask?"_

He was not that interested in this topic, but his dedication to his duty was foremost. _"It would be wise for me to learn the local customs. Since I will probably be here for a while."_ His eyes went to the mist outside the window. How long?

Amanda began again in her oddly-inflected Vulcan. _ "Potential husband number one left me so mentally unstimulated I thought my eyes might leak." _ She switched to Standard, "We have an expression...bored to tears...I always thought it was a figurative expression." She switched back to Vulcan. _"It can be true in the most literal sense. He talked about himself all evening. By the time he asked me about my life, I had lost the ability for all coherent speech. I was completely mute."_ She winked at Sarek and said in her own language. "I learned the Vulcan words for coherent and mute so I could tell you this story."

_"I find it difficult to believe you could ever be rendered mute very long,"_ he said.

Amanda raised an eyebrow. _"But not incoherent?" _

Sarek sipped his tea and decided not to respond.

_"You are becoming more diplomatic,"_ Amanda said.

_"A danger of my current occupation,"_ Sarek replied. He was not sure that it was a good thing to be diplomatic. Should not truth be first and foremost? He missed equations...

Amanda tilted her head._ "Potential husband number two..." _ Her voice drifted off.

_"I was of the understanding you had only one meeting to determine the potential suitability of a life partner," _Sarek said. How many potentials did human go through?

"It was a spur of the moment thing," Amanda said in Standard. "I met him in the grocery store. He..." she looked away. "He didn't bore me to tears, but I didn't find him particularly interesting."

She took a sip of tea. _"How do Vulcans determine potential suitability of life mates?"_ she asked in his language.

_"Our parents determine suitability for us,"_ Sarek said, sipping his own tea.

"Oh. That sounds...not so great, actually," Amanda said.

"Your experiences do not sound...great," Sarek countered.

Amanda blinked. "Good point. So you reach a certain age and your parents set you up?"

"We are bonded when we are seven," Sarek said. His eyes drifted out the window again.

"Whoa...I thought that was a myth...You get married when you are seven years old...that is..."

Sarek turned to the human woman. The implication of marriage of seven year olds was...disturbing. "No, we are bonded to our future mates at seven years old. We marry later...it varies from couple to couple, but seldom before both partners are twenty-one years of age, and sometimes as late as seventy-seven."

"That still doesn't sound...I mean...having no choice in the matter...and having the choice made when you are so young..."

"Having a mate chosen for us gives us the freedom to focus on other matters...our occupations and fields of study. By the time marriage occurs, most Vulcans already have established careers and are able to support their children."

"That sounds very logical," the human woman said, her face as expressionless as a Vulcan. "Do you spend any of that time getting to know your mate...or is it a transaction between your parents..."

The idea of T'Sala as a transaction was...disturbing. "The bond that is established is telepathic. So we get quite a bit of time to know our future spouse...whether or not we are physically in each other's proximity."

But wasn't it a transaction, really? Sarek and T'Sala were well matched...but that was only incidental. T'Yavi and he...but maybe if there had been more time...

"Oh....so were you bonded at seven?"

Sarek could see where this was going. But to avoid the subject would be a failure of his emotional control. "Yes," he replied, carefully keeping his voice even but staring into his tea.

"Are you married?" Amanda asked. It was a simple, innocent question.

"No," Sarek replied.

"How old are you?" Amanda asked.

"Sixty-three," Sarek replied.

Amanda started to cough and Sarek looked up, relieved. "Are you unwell?" he asked, anxious to change the topic, but keeping his voice even.

"I'm fine...you just don't look...never mind. So you've been bonded for...fifty-six years?"

Sarek's universe was starting to collapse on itself...reducing itself to Amanda's innocent questions that hit him like physical blows. He did not want to discuss this. But it was simply a matter of facts. He could deliver the facts. This was a test of his emotional control. Dropping his gaze to his tea, he responded. "We were bonded for fifty-six years, yes."

"And sometime in the next fourteen years you will be married..." Amanda said.

"No." Did his voice sound sharp. He took a breath. "Your arithmetic is fine...but she is dead."

Amanda was silent. And the silence was a good thing. He turned all of his focus to his tea. Jasmine, she'd called it. It was most acceptable. He wrapped a hand around the cup, but noticed an ever so infinitesimal shake in his movements. He put his hand beneath the table and concentrated on the steam rising from the hot liquid.

"I'm sorry," Amanda said.

Sarek looked up, confused. "Why?"

She swallowed, "For prying...and...well, it's what we say to offer condolences."

"I see," he replied.

"What do Vulcans say to offer condolences?" Amanda asked.

_"I grieve with thee," _Sarek responded.

Amanda's eyes looked like they were getting wetter, like they were in danger of leaking...had he insulted her somehow? Maybe she did not understand. "It translates to --"

"I understand...but...after fifty-six years of being telepathically connected..." She swallowed. "I don't think it is possible that I could truly understand your grief...."

Sarek took a deep breath. If he lifted his hands to the table they would shake. He stared into his cup. This was unseemly of him.

"Perhaps, Amanda, we may speak of other things?" It came out even...but too quiet.

Amanda audibly exhaled..."Um...yeah...of course." But she was quiet for exactly one minute and thirty-seven seconds. Finally she said quietly, "So, some people say that elves were pretty much like humans...but just...perfect."

An opportunity for intellectual exercise...it was hard for Vulcan minds to resist such a pull. And it was quite welcome...he had been right before; she was an acceptable sentient being.

Sarek kept his gaze down, but he did manage to say, quite evenly, and at normal volume, "Perhaps this lends credence to your theory that Terran elves were Vulcans?"

He looked up at Amanda. Her eyes were rimmed with moisture...but did not leak.

"You are really getting quite good at the repartee, Sarek."

"They do not hand out astrophysics degrees on Vulcan for nothing, Amanda," Sarek responded. He would master this game.

"Touche," she said softly. Point for him, presumably.

Yes, she was definitely an acceptable sentient being. Sarek was at last able to take a sip of his tea.

**A/N:**

So ummm...yeah, I've been accused of going for the slow burn. But I just don't think Vulcans fall in love very fast. Especially without a telepathic connection.

Remember, reviews are the only way fanfic authors and their betas get paid. If you were touched and/or entertained...please review.

- - - -

If this story puts you in the mood for some more angst I wrote a Sarek/Uhura pairing for a prompt. So far I hear I'm pulling it off from people who say it should be really, really, be wrong...but isn't. The story is called "Another Star"...T for now will be M. It is major angst.


	9. Missteps

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek, Amanda, T'Pau or Vulcan. Nor do I make money off of them.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom.

**Missteps**

The rain pattered down on Amanda's umbrella; the pavement sparkled in front of her. Next to her, Sarek carried his own umbrella.

"Thank you for attending the lecture with me," Amanda said. She had a student in one of her classes undergoing experimental therapy for trisomy 21; she wanted to know as much as possible about it. It wasn't something that caught many of her friends' fancies, however. Sarek, on the other hand...

"It was a fascinating lecture, Amanda. I confess, I have not thoroughly researched the human genome. An oversight I intend to remedy immediately," Sarek responded.

Amanda lifted an eyebrow. "You might want to keep your focus on human culture..." He still had not mastered the art of keeping his foot out of his mouth.

"Indeed," Sarek said. His voice was flat, but she'd wheedled enough out of him over the months to realize that this was almost the equivalent of a sigh. Sarek missed being a scientist. He would never say as much, of course. He only said that he did not find his now vocation as mentally stimulating as his last. She hadn't divined precisely why he was here...why make an astrophysicist a diplomat? She knew the job had been assigned to him; it was not something he'd pursued on his own. Politics then...but why?

"The exhibit at the planetarium is closing this weekend, Amanda. Perhaps you would like to see it tomorrow?"

It was her turn to sigh. "I can't." She switched to Vulcan because it made this topic more entertaining. _"I have a third meeting to determine the suitability of potential husband number seven tomorrow."_

_"I was under the impression that you found him to be less than fully compatible."_

_"Perhaps I am being illogically selective," _Amanda said._ "My mother has voiced this opinion."_

_"Has your mother met the potential husband in question?" _Sarek asked.

_"No."_

_"Then she is making a hypothesis without adequate data," _Sarek replied.

_"As usual, your logic is impeccable," _Amanda replied, turning to cast a smile and a raised eyebrow in his direction.

_"I am Vulcan. As they say...flattery will get you nowhere,"_ Sarek replied, meeting her gaze. His repartee had improved dramatically over the past few months.

She studied his profile as he turned back to face the street ahead. He was handsome...but...

Never chase after a man or a shuttle bus, she told herself. There is always another one coming...

Taking a slightly longing look at an upswept eyebrow, she was momentarily distracted. Her toe caught in a crack in the pavement and her body pitched off balance. For a moment she thought she would hit the ground, but Sarek had faster reflexes. Catching her arm, he steadied her, and then broke the contact as soon as it was no longer necessary.

"Thanks," she mumbled, her face going slightly hot.

He nodded, not looking at her.

"I'm not sure why I'm going on a third date with potential husband number seven," Amanda said -- mostly to herself. "I guess it's really a matter of a bird in hand being better than two in the bush."

"An idiom?" asked Sarek, still looking ahead.

"Of course, the real problem is, I don't want his bird anywhere near my hand and I certainly don't want it anywhere near my --" Amanda stopped herself.

"Pardon?" asked Sarek, now turning to look at her.

"Never mind," Amanda said.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Sarek sat in his apartment at his computer after reviewing the definition of the idiom "A bird in the hand..." He was having a bit more trouble with the second part of the curious conversation. There were several other definitions of bird that applied to nouns that would reasonably fit into a female human's hand. One such definition caused him to mentally hold back a rush of blood to his ears and made his vision go slightly green.

For the most part he kept his attraction to females in check. It was becoming more difficult, though. Especially with Amanda. It was, he understood, a natural reaction to his state of vulnerability. In approximately five years and two Terran months he would be in a mate or die situation again.

Unfortunately, his status as father of a bastard child and former bond mate of one who was on the path of the V'tosh ka'tur made it extremely difficult. And of course, his family would not settle for just anyone -- not until the last possible moment.

It would do no good to dwell. Taking a deep breath, he moved onto a pasttime he'd been pursuing lately in his free time.

Entering his quantum generated key and personal password, he logged in to the Embassy network.

Sarek had not investigated the mysterious medical expenses from three years ago. It would be a direct violation of an order...but...he had begun to investigate around the mysterious line item. On his own time of course.

Miscellaneous medical expenses included costs associated with shipping and distribution of medical supplies, plus the transport of individuals. Of these, by far the most expensive was transport -- particularly emergency transport.

Sarek went further back in the Embassy's history to review other examples of miscellaneous medical expenses in excess of 100,000 Terran credits before Friedmann had become CFO. There were many examples. He started with the most recent and worked his way back.

Four years ago there had been an epidemic; a Terran cold that gave humans the sniffles caused an excessive and deadly immunological reaction in Vulcans. Before a vaccine was developed five Vulcans had to be emergency evac'd back to the home world for emergency treatment.

Six years ago a Vulcan female researcher had developed complications due to a rare multiple pregnancy while she was in Antartica. Circumstances had prevented her from being beamed out of the location. A special shuttle had to be dispatched and she had to be ferried to a waiting ship and escorted back to Vulcan at Warp 7.

Eight years ago there was another spike in expenses. Sarek was just digging into what had caused this spike when his comm rang.

It was Amanda. How odd.

Switching his computer to comm mode, he answered the call.

Amanda met his eyes.

"Good evening, Amanda--"

"Sarek, tune in now to SSNN!" Amanda said.

"May I inquire --"

"No, just tune in!" Amanda said, her voice rising in volume.

Sarek opened the channel on his second monitor. The scene on the Sol System News Network looked like it had been recorded covertly on an amateur recording device. Sarek recognized the locale of the shot immediately. "The halls of the Vulcan Science Academy..." Sarek said. The scene didn't appear to be of an official gathering, just of a group of scholars talking.

"Shhhhhhh....listen..." said Amanda.

For a moment the other sound was the muffled noise of a microphone that must have been stowed in the fabric of clothing; then from off the screen came words in Vulcan, _"The new method proposed by Terrans for dilithium crystal refinement is interesting..."_

All the words were translated into Standard by dubbing over the video. The camera spun around to catch the speaker, a younger Vulcan. _"Especially when you take into account the inherent inferiority of human intellect..."_

The camera cut immediately to the SSNN news anchor. _"The Vulcan speaking has been identified as Paumak, a member of T'Pau's reformed Vulcan High Command; currently Mr. Paumak has been part of the Earth-Vulcan trade talks. Let's turn to our Mutsuko Inoue at the University of Tokyo for some analysis. Mutsuko?"_

_"Sharon, currently Earth depends on Vulcan dilithium for Starfleet, Vulcan depends on Earth for its food -- this is more true than ever with the drought in Vulcan's southern hemisphere. However, with the advent of improved dilithium refinement capabilities on Earth, that trade balance has shifted. This could prove a serious misstep for the the Vulcans in their negotiations."_

_"Thank you, Mutsuko. And now to the solar weather report..."_

Sarek turned off SSNN and sat back in his chair, not looking at Amanda.

"Well?" she said.

Sarek tilted his head. "Paumak undoubtedly believes his statement is praise."

"What?"

Sarek blinked. "For the stage of development humans are currently in, it is an impressive development..."

"Well, he could have said 'stage of development' instead of inferior intellect," Amand said quickly.

"Indeed." It would do no good to argue that technically what Paumak said was true. Vulcan intellectual prowess -- memory, analytical reasoning, and mathematical ability were, on average, much higher than the average human's.

Humans were disturbed by having this inferiority pointed out. It was difficult to understand why. Certainly Paumak did not say humans were incapable of intellectual advancement. And wasn't it better to know one's failings so one could work to correct them rather than pretend they didn't exist? Isn't this what Amanda herself did by teaching disadvantaged children?

It was most illogical.

"Aren't you worried about Earth not wanting your dilithium?" Amanda asked.

Sarek knew about the new refinement process; it had been thoroughly covered in the Vulcan - Terran edition of _Popular Mechanics_. "It would be illogical for Earth to no longer want Vulcan dilithium crystals. The crystals refined by this Terran process are of inferior quality to those produced on Vulcan. And the techniques used on my home planet cannot be replicated here because part of their success depends on the environment of Vulcan itself, gravity, low oxygen, relative lack of humidity and --"

"Sarek," Amanda said, "incidents like this can make humans very illogical. They may not care that our dilithium is of inferior quality...especially if more news like this comes out."

Sarek tilted his head. "That could prove extremely costly -- Terran crystals are not as efficient. More raw dilithium will be necessary. And warp efficiency will be compromised. This could be potentially dangerous in combat situations..."

"It could prove extremely costly to Vulcan as well. How many people are currently effected by the drought on Vulcan?" Amanda asked.

Sarek stared at the blank television screen. The drought was going into its third season. Rationing had already begun. No one was starving...but... "All of them..."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x X

The Embassy was in high gear the next day. Vulcan had issued a statement saying that Paumak's statement was part of a private conversation and should not be considered official Vulcan policy. From his conversation with Amanda, Sarek knew this would not be enough. He'd sent a message directly to T'Pau voicing his opinion that an apology was in order. He had not received a reply.

T'Zena was in her office with several of the readers and Friedmann. Even from down the hall, Sarek caught snatches of Friedmann yelling in a language that might have been German.

At approximately 10:00, interoffice mail dropped off an old-fashioned Terran envelope on his desk. Opening it, Sarek found an elegant card inviting him to the United Federation of Planets yearly ball hosted by the local Federation office in exactly ninety-two days.

His stomach dropped slightly at the word 'ball'. That implied dancing, and he understood Terran dancing required touching.

At that moment T'Zena happened to be passing by his door.

"You have received an invitation to the yearly ball, I see." She tilted her head. "As you are a junior diplomat, it is intriguing that you have been invited. You must have interesting connections."

Sarek looked up at her but otherwise did not reply. Had T'Pau arranged for him to receive an invitation -- perhaps to monitor T'Zena?

"Do not be concerned by the word _ball_, Sarek," T'Zena said. "On Terra it is customary for the male to initiate dancing...so as long as you do not wish to dance, you will not be required --"

She stopped and drew straight up. Tilting her head, she said softly, "However, given the current state of Vulcan-Human relations, it might be preferable for you to engage some of the other guests in social activities as well as conversation."

Sarek felt his stomach drop. Her suggestion was entirely logical.

"Talk to Josef," T'Zena said. "The Embassy has a dance instructor we utilize for this sort of thing. Josef's assistant will be able to set you up with lessons." She tilted her head once more and then marched down the hall.

Sarek watched her perfectly-proportioned form disappear. He needed a bond mate...

And now he would be forced to endure...dancing...

**A/N:**

So Notes thought this chapter was Pride and Prejudice-y, but she's of the opinion you can never have too much of that. Thoughts?

If you were mildly entertained – please review, its the only way fanfiction authors get paid.

Does the next chapter sound exciting? Heh.


	10. Most Eligible

**Disclaimer: I do not own Amanda or Sarek**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Most Eligible**

"I request a different dance instructor," Sarek said.

Josef looked up from his PADD. "Did Madame Toullard grab your ass, too?"

It was 19:25 on the night of Sarek's first dance lesson. He had returned immediately to the office, knowing Josef would be there. Twenty-five minutes ago he had successfully fought back the urge to toss Madame Toullard across the room...now he was fighting off the urge to do the same to Josef. If nothing else, living among humans did provide ample opportunity to test one's emotional control.

Forcing his voice to remain even, Sarek responded. "You knew of her inappropriate behavior, and yet you sent me to her?"

Friedmann shrugged. "I thought she had good taste. Now I see it was just desperation."

Sarek tilted his head. "Insults will not compromise my emotional control. Now, is there another instructor I may deal with?"

"Not that I know of personally. Madame Toullard is really quite good, when she remains focused. She also taught the Ambassador," Friedmann said.

"I doubt she subjected the Ambassador to the same...affections," Sarek said, keeping his arms stiffly at his side.

Friedmann shrugged. "Hard to say. We humans can be lascivious." He looked back to his PADD. "I'm sure if you look online you'll find someone."

And then he sat up straight again and tapped a stylus against his desk. "Of course, they might not be any better. The best way to be safe is to get a partner."

"A partner?" Sarek asked.

Friedmann shrugged again. "Someone to make the instructor -- or other students if you go the group lesson route--think you're taken."

Then Friedmann's attention was diverted. Looking up quickly past Sarek he called out, "Amanda! Vulcan class just get out?"

Sarek turned. There was Amanda in the doorway, a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hey, Sarek," she said stepping into the office. "Hi, Josef."

Sarek was illogically pleased that she greeted him first.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you," Friedmann said with a smile, his eyes narrowing slightly.

Sarek tilted his head, perplexed by the expression on Friedmann's face.

"They moved our class to the basement for a while," Amanda said with a shrug. And then she smiled wide. "I actually saw you, Mr. Friedmann, just this weekend. Only honorable mention? It's a shame."

"What?" said Josef, his smile vanishing, a furrow showing between his brows.

Amanda pulled a PADD from her bag, touched the screen a few times and began to read. "Since he would not return our requests for interviews, we were forced to take Josef Friedmann off of our list of San Francisco's Most Eligible Bachelors, but we couldn't resist naming him as an honorable mention..."

Standing up quickly, Josef walked around his desk to Amanda

Amanda seemed not notice. "...it takes chutzpah for anyone to talk Vulcans into letting them into a position involving numbers. That is just what Josef Friedmann has done. And ladies, with the Vulcan-to-Terran credit exchange rate being what it is..."

Snatching the PADD from her hands, Josef stared down and said in a low voice, "No one talks Vulcans into anything illogical...and I told them I did not want my name in here..."

Tilting his head, Sarek scanned his mental dictionary. Chutzpah; the quality of audacity, for good or for bad, derived from the Hebrew word huspa meaning "insolence", "audacity", and "impertinence." Audacity, insolence and impertinence were negative traits...but humans believed they could be good or bad. What an ambiguous word. And alien concept.

...and apparently Terrans themselves thought it was something other than merit that got Friedmann his position.

Amanda crossed her arms over her chest. "Huh. I thought you'd think it was funny."

Clutching the PADD so tightly his knuckles were white, Josef muttered, "Disrespectful." His brows knit tightly together.

Sarek stared at the man, triply annoyed--annoyed that Friedmann had received honorable mention as 'Most Eligible Bachelor,' annoyed that Amanda knew this, and annoyed that he was annoyed about two things that were completely inappropriate to be annoyed about.

From beside Friedman's desk, Amanda said suddenly, "Oh, hey, you were invited to the Federation Ball. Me, too..."

"Really?" Sarek and Josef both said in unison. Sarek's eyes slid to look at the human man...and found Josef eying him, too.

"Well...my invitation was second-hand." Amanda said, picking up the card and examining it. "My parents are friends with the Senator from the North American Northwest Province and the Senator's sending his son...and his son needed a date...so I'm going..." She looked up at Sarek and said in Vulcan, _"Potential husband number nine." _Then she laughed and switched to Standard. "That sounds so much funnier in Vulcan--I guess because you don't go shopping for your mates?"

...last time they had talked she'd only been up to potential husband number seven. It had only been a week. _ "Potential husband number eight came and went quite quickly," _Sarek said.

"Well, it's quite an honor to be invited to the Federation Ball...Potential husband number nine sounds quite promising," Friedmann said in Standard, looking between the two of them.

Amanda huffed. "His father was invited...and is sending his son instead, which I think sounds like a snub from said senator...and I don't think just being the son of a senator is indicative of any sort of promise."

"I like your thinking," Friedmann said, the corners of his lips beginning to twitch upwards.

She huffed again. "Whenever our parents got together I had to endure his company when we were kids. He called me Bug Eyes."

"What is this charming gentleman's name?" asked Friedmann with a definite smile.

Putting the invitation back on Friedmann's desk, Amanda sighed. "Jason Ethridge. I'm only doing this to make my parents happy." Shaking her head she said, "And what about you, Mr. Friedmann? Anyone you're taking to the ball?"

Pushing up his glasses, Friedmann said, "Well, so far, my only company is Sarek here."

Sarek turned his head sharply to look at the other man.

"I had no idea you guys were so close..." Amanda said with a smile. Then her eyes got wide. "Sarek, will you dance?"

"That is currently in question," Sarek responded, turning away from Friedmann again.

"Hmmmm...it might help with interplanetary diplomacy," said Amanda with a smile. "May I have my PADD back, Josef?"

Handing the PADD back to her, Friedmann said, "Or hurt interplanetary diplomacy."

Sarek turned his head sharply to the human again.

"Well, you won't get any mockery from me, Sarek. My ballroom dancing skills are really rusty," Amanda said, putting the PADD into her bag and stepping towards the door. "I need to get home now. See you both later."

Sarek watched her exit the room. Turning back towards Friedmann, he noticed the other man's eyes had been following her as well.

Walking back to his desk, Friedmann said, "What you need is a partner."

x x x

Staring at his computer monitor later that evening in his apartment, Sarek steepled his fingers. Whenever miscellaneous medical expenses exceeded 100,000 Terran credits, transportation was the culprit. Eight years ago was no exception. The Embassy's own starship had been engaged, but he could not access its manifest. By the amount of anti-matter and matter purchased, Sarek could see either many passengers had been transported, probably beamed directly to the ship, or the ship had taken a few passengers a long distance.

He'd run through every news source available from two years ago. There was no report of any epidemics. A few Vulcan babies had been born, but all in Embassy or consulate med centers without complications. Perhaps someone had been severely injured, or there had been a serious illness that required a Vulcan transported back to the home planet for treatment? But why was that not clearly indicated?

Dropping his hands to the keyboard, he began devising a query to pull up every instance of the Embassy starship being engaged for medical purposes. There were over three hundred results. He ran a query on these results to see how many of these trips did not have an accessible manifest.

In over one hundred years there had been fifty such incidents--the episode eight years ago that he had just been researching...and three years ago as well.

Sarek sat back in his chair. One missing manifest was an oversight. Fifty was a definite pattern.

He was not supposed to be investigating this...However, he was doing it on his own time...He had not been told specifically to ignore the other incidents of high expenses.

He needed to get the Embassy ships' manifests. But how?

His concentration was interrupted by notification that Amanda had just sent him an email. He clicked to see what she had sent.

_Sarek,_

_There is a lecture at UC San Francisco on comparative Vulcan-Human fetal development. Do you want to go?_

Did he want to go? Was the force of gravity on Earth 9.81 m/s2? Sarek blinked at his own mental indulgence in a rhetorical question. Fascinating.

He read on:

_It's one week after the Federation Ball. Can't wait to see you _*there_* twinkletoes. At least I won't be the only bad dancer making a spectacle of myself._

_Amanda_

Sarek's stomach constricted to a tight ball. There were few things that Vulcans liked less than being made a spectacle...

...except unwanted hands in unwanted places as had occurred with Madame Toullard earlier that day...Sarek found himself suppressing a non-affectionate growl.

He looked again at Amanda's message. A solution to his inability-to-dance crisis and Madame Toullard's unwelcome advances?

He dropped his fingers to the keypad and began to type a response...and an invitation.

**A/N:**

Short, but I hope entertaining! Romance and mystery continue next chapter!

Sister, can you spare some time? If you were mildly entertained review. It is the only way Fan Fiction authors and our betas get paid, and it really helps keep us going.


	11. Dancing Around the Subject

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Amanda, or the Federation. And I'm not making money from this.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Dancing Around the Subject**

It was Sunday, mid-morning a week and three days after Sarek's first uncomfortable dance lesson.

He sat in his apartment staring at his monitor. He had discovered a way to determine the destination of the Vulcan Embassy ship even when there was no accessible manifest...and if not the exact names of the passengers, perhaps an idea of their numbers.

The Embassy vessel could not launch from the lower atmosphere, so it remained permanently docked at a space station just off planet. All passengers had to be beamed aboard or ferried there by shuttle.

Space station records of shuttle and ship departures and arrivals were public record -- although they were not easily accessible, he'd have to go to the space station itself and request the information in person -- and to do that he had to first request an appointment. Then he could cross reference the Embassy records of uses of its vessels with the records from the station and by process of elimination determine what its destination had been.

Further, on Earth, all authorized transporter usages were recorded as well, and also available for access. Again, not easily, he would have to report to the Transporter Records Department in Lisbon to gain access. He didn't sigh; it would be unbecoming of a Vulcan, even alone...But why was information so hopelessly decentralized on Earth?

Navigating to the appointment request form for the space station records department he paused a moment. The form asked if his request was for an agency or an individual inquiry -- agencies were given priority. He hesitated and the selected individual inquiry. It was the honest response...he might have said agency and let them know of his affiliation with the Vulcan Embassy, but since this investigation wasn't officially sanctioned...

Also, he didn't want to call attention to himself.

He hit the submit button and was promptly given a date eighty-nine days away.

His internal alarm clock went off. It was time to meet Amanda for his second dance lesson -- and first with her. He suppressed another very un-Vulcan sigh.

x x x

They were not at Madame Toullard's. Sarek had sought out a new instructor, a Mister Julio Hernandez. He came highly recommended online. After one brief unexpected moment of hand to hand contact, Sarek was very glad to have Amanda...Mr. Hernandez's physiological reactions to Sarek were very much the same as Madame Toullard's were. Granted, Mr. Hernandez might display greater restraint...but he might not...Sarek saw no reason for undue risk.

Amanda and Sarek were practicing the basics of the Foxtrot. Sarek was also practicing keeping his eyes carefully averted from Amanda. He had never seen Amanda in so little clothing. Whenever they met, she was normally attired in a sweater, long pants and jacket, with sensible low-heeled boots or shoes on her feet. He'd thought of her as modest.

Apparently it was just an accommodation she made for San Francisco's perpetually cool weather. Today she wore snug jeans with high heels. Her heels did interesting things to her gluteal muscles and superficial fascia in that region -- and the jeans didn't hide it. She also wore a sleeveless tee. Her hair was pulled back with clips that left the whole of her neck exposed. It was a very long, pale, slender, elegant neck that descended into graceful clavicles...

Sarek caught his eyes wandering and averted his gaze. When he returned to his home world he would have super-Vulcan powers of self control.

"Good, job, good job. You are doing wonderfully!" Mr. Hernandez called. "Keep practicing for the remainder of the number. Sarek, do not forget to rotate your body and your partner's; there is no need to be so stiff; alter from your straight line! On the ballroom floor you will have to dodge other couples."

Sarek did not sigh. But he had the compulsion. On the real dance floor not only would he be expected to maintain his mental shields, avoid ogling his partner, and keep time, he'd also be expected to navigate around moving obstacles.

"Sarek," Amanda whispered, "aren't Vulcans touch telepaths?"

Would he have to maintain a conversation as well? "Yes," he replied, not looking down at her.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry then," Amanda said.

Sorry? Sorry for what?

"It's just that you do look really handsome right now."

What? Sarek's shields fell like a curtain and suddenly he was aware that Amanda was finding dancing with him...arousing...

Although at least her hands were staying where they belonged.

He felt himself go hot.

"I hope it's not too distracting," Amanda said, and Sarek could feel some _embarrassment_ along with the _arousal._

She was apologizing for being attracted to him and revealing it through the telepathic link. He appreciated the sentiment, actually. Of course, she had never been taught to block her emotions.

"Do not concern yourself. You are only human," Sarek said.

The arousal vanished and was replaced with annoyance. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Sarek blinked and actually looked at her trying to keep time as he did. "It only means that as you are human you are unable to help yourself from--"

The telepathic connection burned with anger. "Unable to help myself? Do you think you are God's gift to womankind or something?"

Sarek blinked. "Vulcans do not conceive of God in the way that humans --"

Amanda's foot came crashing down on Sarek's toe. Through the link Sarek could tell it had not been an accident.

"Ms. Grayson, you seem to have lost the beat there," said Mister Hernandez.

"Ohhh...it appears I did," Amanda said. "I'm so sorry, Sarek." She smiled. "I hope it didn't hurt."

Sarek completely lost time and came to a full stop. She was lying. With a smile.

"It is quite alright," he said at last, tilting his head and stepping back into time with the music.

For the rest of the hour she remained annoyed. He was perplexed as to what exactly he had done and how he could fix it. However, her annoyance was a lot easier to deal with than her arousal might have been.

And her hands never went any place inappropriate.

x x x

Walking out of the classroom, Amanda felt her temperature rise. "What the Hell was that all about in there, Sarek? You don't really think that you're all that, do you? Because that would be completely illogical!"

Sarek came to a stop in the hallway next to her. "Think that I am all what?"

"The be all and end all!" Amanda put her hands on her hips. Sarek stared at her blankly.

Amanda closed her eyes. Do not stomp on his toe again...Do not stomp on his toe again...

"You seem to think that you are irresistible to human women," she snapped.

"Certainly not; you seemed quite capable at resisting me even though you did find me...attractive," Sarek said. "And I appreciate your restraint a great deal."

Amanda fought back an urge to slap him. Damn telepathy, and damn smug, telepathic and attractive Vulcans...

"I don't think I can handle dancing with you when I'm so angry I want to kick you in the shins!" she said.

Blank stare.

"I don't think this is going to work..." she said.

Sarek looked down. "Amanda, I do appreciate your company a great deal."

Amanda took a step back and tilted her head. "Why, do you get off on having humans finding you attractive?" she snapped.

"Pardon?" asked Sarek.

Amanda took a deep breath. He didn't understand. "Why?" she asked.

"Why...did I say pardon?" asked Sarek.

Were they even speaking the same language? "Who is on first!" Amanda said throwing up her arms. Then silently she cursed herself for using a reference from her early twentieth century humanities class.

"Who is on first?" asked Sarek.

"Never mind who is on first, Sarek." Amanda put her hands on her hips. "Why do you appreciate my company?"

"Because I trust you. I do not believe you will act inappropriately. In addition I believe your presence will compel others to behave in an appropriate manner," Sarek responded in his normal flat monotone.

He trusted her. Well that was nice...but wait...Sarek didn't do psychology, at least, not well...why would he think that an 'other' might behave inappropriately...and what other? "Sarek," she asked, "Did something happen?"

x x x

"...she was demonstrating the improper way for the man to hold his partner..."

They were eating sandwiches at a diner close to the studio. Amanda had a hand over her mouth and was leaning forward, not making a sound...for a moment Sarek worried he might have to perform the Heimlich maneuver.

Then she burst out laughing.

At him.

"You find this amusing."

Amanda straightened. Sniffing, she rubbed her nose. "No, I..." She began laughing again.

Cutting a bite out of his avocado, sprout and hummus sandwich, Sarek sat and watched. He would not allow her to see his annoyance.

"I'm sorry. Really, it's terrible...terrible..." Amanda said. She wiped what appeared to be a tear from her eye. His plight moved her after all.

"I'm sure that you wouldn't have the same problem with Julio though, Sarek," Amanda said. She looked down at her sandwich and silverware -- she'd taken to using a knife and fork in front of him after learning just how Vulcans viewed eating with their hands. "I mean, I got the feeling that he went that way...just the way he was looking more at your...however, it doesn't mean he'd act on it."

"You determined his sexual orientation by observation alone?" asked Sarek, impressed.

"I did not determine; I have only made a hypothesis," said Amanda.

"I can confirm your hypothesis," said Sarek.

Amanda looked up from her plate. "He hit on you, too?"

Sarek blinked. "No, he touched my hand." He put another bite of sandwich in his mouth. He'd developed quite a predilection towards avocados during his time on Earth. It was a shame they took an inordinate amount of water to grow.

Amanda heaved a long sigh. "It's not fair, for me or Julio. You can hide your emotions from us, but we can't hide ours from you."

Sarek put his fork down. Vulcans went to great lengths to suppress their emotions -- before coming to Earth he interpreted human society to be exactly opposite. But depending on the situation they did keep their emotions contained. Suppressing everything but curiosity was just so much more clear cut...

...Amanda was embarrassed; he'd made her uncomfortable for something she couldn't control.

"I do not read emotions intentionally, Amanda. I try to block my telepathic abilities, but it takes conscious effort. I only read Julio because he touched my hand unexpectedly. And I was blocking your emotional state until you surprised me with your directness."

Amanda sat back in her chair. "So I gave myself away." She brought a hand up under her chin. "Of course, we'd talked about other things before that point...was that the first time that you weren't able to block my emotions?"

"Yes," Sarek said, attention returning to his cutting his sandwich into bite size pieces.

"So obviously, saying I found you attractive was more disconcerting than, say, talking about the weather...why is that, I wonder?"

Sarek looked up at her. "No Vulcan would ever make such a declaration. Your forthrightness was --"

"Uh-huh. Whatever." She leaned forward, put her elbows on the table and her chin on her hands. "So tell me, Sarek, do you find me attractive?"

Sarek was grateful for the fact he was not actually chewing anything at that moment. He might have spit it out of his mouth.

"This line of inquiry is completely inappropriate, Amanda." He tilted his head. "And the answer is of no relevance to anything." It wasn't as though they were potential mates. They could not be. There could be no offspring...and she was entirely too fragile, physically and perhaps mentally as well. Could a human handle a Vulcan bond? Who knew? Perhaps it would induce madness in one or both parties.

"That isn't an answer. You know my emotions; it only seems fair I know yours." She leaned closer to him and smiled. "Come on, I'm trying to level the playing field."

"The playing field?" He knew the expression. They'd discussed it weeks ago. "This is a game?" His tone was completely even. He'd used the same words and tone when she'd introduced him to Scrabble. But he felt a rush of revulsion. She was teasing him...about something they should not even allow their minds to dwell on.

Amanda leaned forward. She licked her lips, which accentuated their curve. How Vulcan they were. Opening her mouth, she looked as though she were going to say something. And then she stopped and pulled back.

"No, I'm sorry, Sarek. I'm treating you like a human. You're not."

He blinked. She'd backed down, something she never did when they engaged in 'teasing'. And she'd stated the obvious. He was not human. This line of inquiry was irrelevant; her tacit acknowledgment of this fact should make him feel better. But it did not.

"Forgive me?" Amanda asked.

To say he forgave her would be to acknowledge the injury, that she had provoked an emotional response. She had been treating him as one of her own kind. It hadn't been meant as an insult, surely. "There is nothing to forgive," Sarek responded. It wasn't precisely a lie.

On the wall adjacent to them, a large screen monitor went on. Someone in the diner was switching it between channels.

Suddenly T'Zena's voice filled the room. _"...it is not just Terran food that aids Vulcans. It is their ideas. Humans are a young, inquisitive race, unafraid to ask why. I believe that this curiosity, even when it challenges the preconceived notions of Vulcan, is healthy for us..."_

Sarek turned to see the screen change from T'Zena to a news room. _"And that was a portion of the Vulcan Ambassador's apology here on Earth a few weeks ago. As I'm sure everyone remembers, it was quite well received here. But how was it received on Vulcan? We go now to our correspondent, Brent Tucker. Brent?"_

_"Lisa, here I am on the streets of Shi'Kahr. I've been trying to get some response from ordinary Vulcans, but so far none will answer my questions, even anonymously."_

The camera changed to a view of Vulcans walking by Brent as he attempted to engage them in conversation.

Next to Sarek, Amanda whispered, "Why won't they talk, Sarek?"

Sarek did not turn towards her. "Because they do not wish to say anything that may contradict the stance of the High Command. Vulcans value discretion."

_"However, we were able to obtain this independently recorded video, Lisa."_

The picture became less distinct and choppy, but clearly showed Vulcans, obviously on their home world, and obviously wearing robes of high station. The Vulcans were speaking Sarek's native language, but the video was dubbed in Standard.

"The Terran reaction to Paumak's statement was completely illogical. By most objective measurements they are intellectually challenged when compared to Vulcans..."

The camera shifted to a split shot of Lisa and Brent. Lisa was talking. _ "This comes at the worst possible time for Vulcan, doesn't it Brent?"_

_"It does indeed, Lisa. Vulcans do not need any more negative publicity. Vulcan's drought is going into its third growing cycle and currently trade talks are underway for Earth food stuffs. And pressure is mounting from various groups to make it more difficult for Vulcan to import food from Earth." _

_"That's right. Most recently it has been environmental groups to raise their voices against the off world shipment of food. Can you explain that Brent?"_

_"Certainly. When we export food we are exporting water from our biosphere. There are trace amounts of H2O in all food, unless it is specially dehydrated -- simply turning grapes to raisins isn't enough. This is water Earth's biosphere will never reclaim. Environmentalists say we risk desertification of Earth by exporting our foodstuffs off world. Moreover, we are also exporting our carbon, and no one knows what the consequences of that will bring..."_

Someone flipped the channel to soccer.

Amanda stared at the screen. "You know, Sarek, I want to say that for a race that values discretion, Vulcans sure have a talent for inserting their feet in their mouths..."

Sarek swallowed and turned to her. "We seem to be very flexible in that regard," he said, trying to make up for some of their previous tension with humor.

"But in this case, it almost seems like someone is trying to set Vulcan up..." Amanda's eyes hadn't left the monitor. "It's not like Terrans don't say bad things about Vulcans. But they're not showing that on the nightly news."

"Indeed," said Sarek. In the end he believed it would not matter. The Federation would never allow Vulcan to starve. There might be rationing for a while...but the Federation would sort things out...

**A/N:**

Thanks everyone for reading -- and special thanks to everyone who reviews. I hope I can continue to keep you entertained - pls continue to lavish me with reviews. It really helps!


	12. Inauspicious Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Sybock, Amanda, the Federation or Starfleet. And I'm not making money from this.  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom- She just published her own Story "Truth and Lies" a fantastic character study of Nyota/Spock and Sarek. Its in my favorites -- check it out when you're done here!

**Inauspicious Beginnings**

Sybock was fussing, wanting attention. Sarek could see him through the fractured bond.

T'Yavi was irritated. Sarek tried to push it aside, tried to just enjoy observing his baby boy.

Sybock had grown so much. He was sitting up now on his own. Could he crawl? Could he walk?

T'Yavi handed Sybock a strange cylinder. It was only as big as the baby's tiny fist. Sybock examined the cylinder, turning it over and over again, and then suddenly the cylinder became a ball. Sybock's eyes went wide. Sarek himself was surprised. Sybock's hands disappeared _into_ the ball.

Sybock's hands twisted and the shape changed to a baby sehlat.

A hologram. T'Yavi had gotten Sybock a hologram-generating device. They were rare and quite expensive...

Sybock was mesmerized by the hologram and T'Yavi turned away from him.

Sarek found himself staring into the eyes of a Vulcan male he did not know...

_No, T'Yavi, Sybock is there..._

But Sarek's mind was mute in hers.

Reaching out, the man brought his fingers to T'Yavi's psi points.

She wasn't bonded to this other male; somehow Sarek knew this...

_T'Yavi don't..._

And suddenly T'Yavi and Sarek were filled with the images of all the things that strange Vulcan male wanted to do to her...

Sarek came out of meditation gasping, his stomach a jumbled confusion of jealousy, protectiveness and anger. He had heard that the V'tosh ka'tur sought out sensation in all its forms.

Chest heaving, he tried to center himself...T'Yavi was not his...but he still felt some concern for her. And wasn't Sybock his no matter what the law said? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Warmth hit him all of a sudden. He opened his eyes to see the afternoon sun had shifted and was now pouring through his window onto him. Normally, he did not meditate in the middle of the day, but today was Saturday, traditionally a human day of rest, and tonight he had the Federation event to attend. He needed to be mentally prepared for dancing...this meditation session had hardly helped.

Swallowing, Sarek looked over to where the tuxedo hung on his door. T'Zena had insisted that tonight they would honor all Earth customs.

Standing up, Sarek made his way to the shower.

x x x

The Sol System News Network was droning from the other room as Amanda picked up her shawl.

_"By shipping our food off world, are we turning Earth into a desert planet -- like Vulcan? Special report at 10 PM and 2 AM."_

Walking into the living area, Amanda looked at herself in the mirror. She'd picked the cream-colored dress out with her mother -- or her mother had picked it out for her. Amanda's mother was very excited about her attending this ball. They weren't best friends, in fact they lived in different parts of the country, but Amanda's mother had known Jason's mother for a long time.

And her mother had definitely gone all out on the dress Amanda now wore. Amanda was almost shy about wearing it.

"Wow, you have boobs!" her roommate Carrie said, hopping up from the couch and flicking off the news

Amanda winced. The dress gave her definite decolletage. "Do you think it's too much?"

Carrie rolled her eyes. "No, it is not too much. You look beautiful, Amanda. Potential husband number nine won't know what hit him...and if you don't like him, at least you'll have one of the most eligible bachelors in San Francisco to charm."

Amanda sighed and rolled her eyes. Ever since she told Carrie she knew one of the men on The List, Carrie had given her a hard time about it.

It was just then that the door chimed. "I'll get that," said Carrie.

Amanda gave herself one last look in the mirror. The dress was ankle length and fitted. It did have straps...but not much more than that on her upper half. The plunge in the front was far surpassed by the plunge in the back.

At that moment Carrie escorted Jason into the room. Amanda blinked.

Well, at least he was handsome...sort of. He had the good looks that came with money, she decided. Jason was maybe a centimeter shorter than Sarek. He had light brown hair and skin tanned to match, gray-blue eyes beneath nearly perfectly groomed hair, and a chiseled nose and chin that were much straighter than she remembered...she wondered if he had had plastic surgery...then chided herself. Not a charitable thing to think about anyone.

Jason wore a tux, of course, black jacket and pants, red collar tie without a bow, just two gold buttons set fashionably a little off center, and matching cummerbund.

"Amanda," he said, giving her a cocky sideways smile. "Wow, you look a lot better than I expected."

Well...that could have been better...but also much worse. "Likewise," she said.

x x x

"So, what do you do that you have to have a roommate?" Jason asked when they were in his car.

"Well, I'm a teacher--"

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Jason said, speeding up to go through a light...it had been red before he crossed the intersection, Amanda noted.

"And Carrie is working on her doctorate in history," Amanda said.

"So, not a lot of ambition in your house," Jason said.

Amanda took a deep breath. This is the son of your parents' friends; be polite. "I think we are ambitious in our own ways," Amanda replied.

"Hmmm...yeah," Jason said, looking into the rear view monitor. "So this is probably the first time you've ever been around aliens, right?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I happen to have spent a fair amount of time around Vulcans." Well, one Vulcan. And it depended on how you defined a fair amount. Lately, they'd been together at least once a week because of dance lessons...but usually only once every other week for two hours or so.

"Vulcans?" said Jason.

"Yes, I'm going to go to grad school and comparative Vulcan-Human studies dominate my field --"

"Yeah, well you won't have to worry about that for too long. We'll be out from under the Vulcans' thumb soon enough." Jason hit the accelerator and they ran through another light.

Amanda swallowed.

"So, this thing is going to be at the Ritz-Carlton. I got a room upstairs, by the observation deck. Feel free to drink as much as you want. You can crash with me."

Amanda clenched the tiny purse she was holding. Thankfully she'd brought enough money for cab fare.

x x x

Jason handed her a drink as they waited in the grand lobby for dinner to be served. "Amanda, this is Ross. He's the son of the senator from the Northeast province, and this is Asha, daughter of the senator from the Indian subcontinent."

Amanda blinked at the two bored-looking twenty somethings...apparently the Ethridges weren't the only ones sending their spawn to this event.

"Your dad propose the bill yet?" Ross asked Jason.

Jason drained his wine glass. "Not yet, but I think next session."

"About time," said Asha.

"Bill?" asked Amanda.

"To make it illegal to ship food stuffs off world," Jason winked. "You know, for environmental reasons."

"Vulcan is in the middle of a drought," Amanda said, aghast.

"Bing! Bing! Bing! Points for the lady!" said Ross with a smile.

"The senate will never accept that..." said Amanda.

"Don't be so sure," said Asha with a conspiratorial smile in Ross' direction.

"And even if they do, the Federation will never allow it," said Amanda.

"What will they do?" Asha asked. "At most an embargo. We have our own dilithium refineries now. And we have enough food and water --"

"Our dilithium crystals aren't as good," Amanda protested. "It would be expensive, not to mention dangerous for the men in our fleet --"

"They'll survive," Asha shrugged.

"No, actually, they might not," said Amanda. This topic was hitting close to home. She did know someone in the Fleet. They weren't together anymore, but...she swallowed. "And what about the Vulcans?"

"You worry too much," Jason said.

Ross took a sip of a martini. "They won't starve. They're phenomenally wealthy; they'll find some way to get the food they need from someone."

"But we'll take them down a few notches," said Asha.

"Here, here!" said Jason.

x x x

Somehow Amanda managed to make it through dinner with Jason, Ross, and Asha. She'd tried several times to catch a glimpse of Sarek, or Josef...but the party was immense and she hadn't seen them.

Now the meal was over and dancing had begun, but Jason seemed only to want to drink.

Amanda looked down at the wine he'd procured for her. She hadn't touched it. She found herself thinking Jason was so foul she didn't want to risk drinking something he'd given to her...

That was illogical. He couldn't possibly be that bad...

As Asha droned on about skiing in the Alps, Amanda excused herself. She made her way out of the ballroom and down a large marble hallway. It was fantastically beautiful and opulent. And there was a large plant. Without thinking, Amanda took her drink and tipped it into the plant's pot.

"I didn't think the wine was that bad," said a familiar voice inflected with German behind her.

Amanda heaved a huge sigh of relief. Turning with a smile, her breath almost caught in her throat.

Josef Friedmann in a tuxedo was...well, he earned his place on the most eligible bachelor list.

Catching herself, Amanda gave him a tight smile. "My date gave it to me...and, well, the way things were going I thought I might test it out on the plant first."

Josef laughed, then caught himself. "Really, that bad? I hope you're not leaving..."

Amanda tilted her head. "He is the son of my mother's friend...but I am thinking about it," she said glancing down quickly at the pool of red wine in the planter.

She looked up at Josef.

"Has he even asked you to dance?" he asked, pushing up his glasses. Somehow Josef pushing up his glasses was far sexier than Jason Ethridge flexing his biceps could ever be.

"No, but he has given me permission to crash in his room upstairs," Amanda said.

Josef smiled tightly. "Charming man." He tilted his head. "While you are here, you might as well enjoy yourself. May I ask you to dance?" He held out his arm.

Amanda smiled. "I'd love to."

**A/N:**

I totally shouldn't do this...but I just handed off chapter 16 to my beta this morning...so I'm posting AGAIN! (Getting so far ahead isn't good either -- since I'll probably have to go back and change things based on your comments...SO PLEASE...COMMENT! Its the only way fanfiction authors get paid.

Thanks for reading everyone...and special thanks to everyone leaving reviews. They really do help me keep writing. And they help me make this story better.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


	13. Cutting In

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda and I'm not making any money from this.**

Special thanks to my beta Notes from the Classroom. Don't forget to see her Story "Truth and Lies" in my Favorite Stories section -- she added Sarek's POV today!

**Cutting In**

Sarek saw Amanda once briefly as she entered the lobby. Wrapped in a shawl, she looked the picture of Vulcan decorum. She was accompanied by a healthy human male with features so symmetrical they looked like they might have been artificially augmented. Amanda's face was blank. Sarek did not have a chance to ponder it.

"So, Mr. Sarek, what do you think of the Hsu Jang's proposal for using vilinium cells to capture cosmic rays?" said Ling-Lin, the wife of the Tellurite Ambassador, her snout quivering slightly. "I find it most far fetched."

And so began a fascinating argument. T'Zena, Josef and Sarek were conveniently seated with the the Tellurite Ambassador, his aide, and Ling-Lin during dinner. Sarek enjoyed Ling-Lin's conversation so much he hoped if he had to dance she might oblige him. He found her very unattractive, and that was part of her appeal.

After the meal the tables were being pulled away and the dancing began. However, Ling-Lin seemed more than happy to argue about the comparative virtues of crysillium versus tillillium fission reactions for the purpose of anti-matter generation. Sarek was more than willing to oblige.

Exactly twenty-seven minutes and thirty-one seconds after the dancing had begun, Ling-Lin's husband interrupted their conversation. "That will be enough, wife. Sarek, if you weren't so offensive looking, I would think that you were in danger of seducing my wife, with all your talk of vilinium, crysillium and what-have-you."

Smiling, Ling-Lin pushed her snout to the Ambassador's own short, stubby, nose. "Never fear, my love," she snorted.

The Ambassador turned a deeper shade of pink. "Let us dance," he said, pulling her towards the dance floor.

Turning her head back as her husband pulled her away, Ling-Lin said, "I'm still not satisfied with your argument --"

Sarek watched them go, disappointed. Looking around, he suddenly realized that his other companions had drifted off. T'Zena and Josef were at the other side of the dance floor talking to a group of Andorians. His eyes lingered on T'Zena for a moment. She wore a red fitted Terran dress that managed to cover her almost completely...and yet...

Another figure caught his eye. It was Amanda, strolling along the edge of the dance floor alone, a glass in her hand. Her shawl was gone. He blinked. Her gown, if one could call it that, barely covered the upper part of her body.

Such attire would only be worn on Vulcan during the marriage ceremony when it was expected to be rent to shreds and it was deemed wasteful to use more fabric.

He tilted his head. It was certainly _not _the most revealing garment worn by females at this function; he should not judge it by Vulcan standards.

Amanda exited the ballroom down a hallway...Josef Friedmann followed her. Sarek straightened. Friedmann bothered Sarek in ways potential husband number nine did not. Sarek looked down. This was not his concern. But wasn't it? Perhaps he and Amanda weren't friends precisely; however, his people did not trust Friedmann.

He took a deep breath. Something faint and musky sweet made him tilt his head. He inhaled again. His body went warm.

"Personally," said a soft feminine voice centimeters from his right shoulder, "I think that crysillium is the more economical source of antimatter fuel."

Sarek's brain snapped to analytical mode. He looked up at the woman who was addressing him. "That is factually incorrect. All known tillillium reserves are located close to the surface on Class L planets whereas..."

She was Orion. Her features were extremely symmetrical. Her gown plunged down below her navel between two breasts that seemed to be defying gravity without the aid of any observable support device.

She casually stroked his arm with a well-manicured finger. "Whereas all known crysillium deposits are located deep in the mantle of inhabited Class J planets. However, known tillillium deposits are located near Klingon space, thereby encouraging tensions and risking war. War is very expensive."

She smiled. "Don't judge me by my race; I do have a brain. And am adept at exercising it..."

It would be illogical to pass judgments on her based on her species. And she did smell delicious.

She drew her face closer. "You are unbonded -- it's such a rare treat to find an unbonded Vulcan male. A treat I've never experienced before."

"And are unlikely to experience at this time," Sarek said, but he didn't move to step away. Why wasn't he stepping away?

"My pheromones are working on you," she said very softly.

"That is impossible. Orion pheromones do not work on Vulcans," Sarek said, his eyes focused on her very bite-able lower lip.

"Mmmmmm....impossible on a bonded Vulcan." One of her breasts pressed against the side of his arm. Her lips were very close to his. "I'm as strong as a Vulcan female...and don't worry, I. Do. Bite."

She leaned closer and smiled. "And you are more than welcome to bite me."

Sarek's jaw clenched and he began to salivate.

"Mmmm...yes, that's right...aren't you a bit curious? Wouldn't you like to see what I taste like? You're allowed to be curious with me, Vulcan."

Allowed to seek sensation for sensation's sake. Like T'Yavi and her V'tosh ka'tur...what...lover? He had seen a bit of the V'tosh ka'tur's mind through the mind meld and had not seen any emotion in his proposition to his former bond mate. Lover seemed a highly inaccurate word.

Sarek restrained the curling in his upper lip. He was not V'tosh ka'tur. He needed to get away -- his body was reacting to this Orion woman's presence. Averting his gaze to the dance floor, he found himself staring directly at Friedmann and Amanda.

Amanda looked beautiful and inviting. And compared to this Orion woman…very chaste. He felt himself pulled forward.

"Excuse me," Sarek said, stepping away from the Orion's touch. "I owe someone a dance."

x x x

"You're a good dancer, Josef," Amanda said.

He smiled. "I'm German. Vee attempt to be proficient at all vee do," he said, playing up his accent. Then he straightened his back and shoulders, wiped away his smile, and looked stiffly off into the distance above her shoulder as he spun her around.

"What are you doing?" Amanda asked.

"Zis iz my German robot routine, vu don't like it?" he said still looking off into the distance.

Amanda laughed. "You are a goof." For a most eligible bachelor, Josef was not intimidating--in a nice way.

He broke into a grin and his body relaxed. "Yes, especially after a few beers. Can't keep the German away from the beer..."

How was this man not taken? "Did you come alone tonight?" she asked.

"Well, Sarek didn't seem interested in taking me up on my offer to be my escort." He winked. "So, yes, I came stag. As did he."

Hmmmm...maybe he was gay? She was usually good at sensing these things and she didn't get that impression.

"Such a waste," Amanda said, deciding to tease him a bit. If he was gay, well, he had still rescued her from a horrible date and she would be forever grateful.

He shrugged. "Vulcans! What can you do?"

A flash of red over his shoulder caught Amanda's eye. "Wow, speaking of Vulcans, your boss looks gorgeous tonight!"

T'Zena was talking with an Andorian. She was wearing a mandarin style dress of the deepest red; it covered her from ankle to neck and had long sleeves -- and yet it hid nothing. Her hair was high on her head, but artful strands of curls cascaded down her neck. As men passed the Ambassador, Amanda saw their eyes linger.

Turning her, Josef looked over her shoulder. He tilted his head. "I suppose. If you like that sort of thing." He turned her eyes back to her. "Don't underestimate your charms. You look lovely, too."

Amanda almost melted -- but managed only to only avert her eyes and smile.

"I wonder where your Vulcan is…" Josef said scanning the room.

Amanda hardly heard him. Who cared where Sarek was at that exact moment? Her Vulcan indeed…

It was exactly two measures later when a familiar voice came from behind. "Excuse me. May I cut in?"

Oh no.

**A/N:**

I know, its short! But it is the perfect place to end this little chapter for maximum dramatic effect...

Please...review...It's the only way Notes and I get paid. (Heck, and go ahead and use that review button to tell me to update this pronto! It's even hard for me to leave a hang like this.)


	14. No Objections

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek or Amanda**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom - She just posted Chapter 3 of Truth and Lies. Spock's POV -- Check it out!

**No Objections**

The familiar voice came from behind Amanda.

Josef stopped. "Sarek..." He blinked. "Well, if the lady has no objections."

Amanda did have objections, but she did her best to smile her good sport smile.

Dropping his arm from Amanda's back, Josef released her hand and gave her a wink. "Maybe I will see you later," he said. Of course, it came out more 'Maybe I vill zee you later.' He gave her a peck on the cheek and walked past her.

And then there was Sarek. Amanda sighed. He did look great. The tuxedo was flattering -- no flashy red snap tie and cummerbund combination; he wore gray instead. ...but this was inappropriate and irrelevant.

She held up her arms. "Shields up, Sarek?" They had a routine.

He hesitated a beat. "Yes, they are." One fever-hot hand took one of hers, the other went around her back, and he began to move her across the floor.

"What was that about, Sarek?" No use beating around the bush.

"What was what about?" he asked, eyes carefully looking over her shoulder.

"Yeah, right. You interrupted us in the middle of a number, causing a small, but unnecessary, commotion on the floor -- and I know how much you hate calling attention to yourself. Why'd you cut in? I was enjoying myself."

"My only other potential partner is currently dancing with her husband," Sarek said.

He was avoiding the question. Which aggravated her. Which was kind of convenient because if his shields did drop, she'd rather he catch her being aggravated than catch her feeling all whimsical and sappy about just how nice he looked in a tuxedo.

"And who would that be," she asked. Was it T'Zena? No, she was still talking to the Andorian -- Josef now with them.

"Ling-Lin, the Tellurite ambassador's wife. She is a warp engineer. We had a most fascinating conversation at dinner."

Amanda glanced over at the Tellurites dancing literally snout to snout -- which was kind of cute in an ugly sort of way.

She smiled. "So, Sarek, may I ask if you find Ling-Lin attractive?"

"No, I..." He stiffened ever so slightly. "No, that question is still inappropriate."

She raised an eyebrow. Had she almost caught him? Oh, Hell, it wasn't like it mattered. "But is it also completely irrelevant, Sarek?"

Sarek turned them to avoid colliding into another couple. "Yes, it is completely irrelevant."

Amanda looked over his shoulder and blinked. "Sarek, there is a very annoyed-looking green woman glaring at me..."

Sarek turned them again and followed her gaze. His jaw clenched minutely. "I am sorry about that."

"You're sorry about that?" Amanda felt her brow furrow. "What does that have to do with you?"

"I do not wish to discuss the matter."

Amanda caught sight of the green woman again. She was definitely glaring.

"Did you interrupt my dance with Mister Most Eligible because some green girl was chasing you? I don't think she'll bite..." Amanda tilted her head and stifled a laugh. "At least not in public."

Sarek took a deep breath. "As I said, I do not wish to discuss the matter." He switched to Vulcan. _"Have you discarded potential husband number nine in favor of..."_ and then he slipped back to Standard, "Mister Honorable Mention?"

"I don't wish to discuss Jason Ethridge," Amanda said, stomach falling.

She looked away from Sarek. At some point she would have to make an appearance back over with the Entitlement Bunch, as she had mentally dubbed them. "He is in no way even a potential husband..." She shivered, "I wouldn't even consider him a ride home. He makes me feel..." She stopped; she was being irrational and reading far too much into the situation.

His parents were friends of her family. He was a jerk...but... She shouldn't worry so much.

Another couple knocked into Sarek from behind. "Excuse me," said the man. "Didn't see you there..."

"Quite alright," Sarek said.

His grip suddenly tightened on Amanda's hand and the hand on her back flexed. Amanda glanced up at the Vulcan and found him staring down at her. "Amanda, forgive me; when they bumped into us my mental shields fell..."

Oh. "It's nothing Sarek. I'll survive until the end of the evening and take a cab home..."

"It is hardly nothing that this Jason Ethridge frightens you."

Amanda looked down and swallowed. "I am being silly. Probably just illogical."

"I have insufficient data to determine if you are being illogical," Sarek said.

And then it all poured out of her. Jason running through red lights, the cavalier attitude he had towards Vulcans and the drought, the proposed bill to end interplanetary export of food, the attitude he and his friends had about using inferior dilithium crystals for starships -- in combat situations it could become a matter of life and death.

"...and during dinner, Sarek, they were so pleased about the negative publicity Vulcan is getting all the time lately. I really think you guys are getting set up." She looked up at Sarek. "Okay, maybe I am not being illogical."

Sarek was still staring down at her intently. "He has shown little regard for you or your safety, nor does he seem to put a high priority on the safety of sentient beings in general. You are not being illogical."

Amanda took a deep breath. "I guess if a Vulcan says I'm not being illogical --"

"You may rest assured, your thinking is quite sound," Sarek finished.

"Thanks, Sarek. His parents are friends of my family. His father is important--" She sighed. His father was a senator and her parents' business had contracts with Starfleet – beyond the whole friendship thing there was also that…

"I don't want to make a fuss. I'll just make sure I don't disappear into any dark corners with him. Or accept any drinks from him." She took a deep breath. That was pathetic.

The number was slowing down. "Amanda, sometimes...making a fuss...is acceptable."

Amanda looked at the floor. She'd rather not cause a scene if she could help it. If her mother knew how terrible Jason was, she'd feel incredibly guilty…

"It's not a big deal, Sarek."

The music ended and Amanda dropped her hands to join the other dancers in a round of applause for the band.

The music from the next number began to pick up and a motion in green over Sarek's shoulder caught her eye. "Uh-oh, it appears your green girlfriend is heading this way."

She held up her hands quickly. "Shall we dance?"

Sarek took a deep breath. "That would be most welcome."

As he turned her around the room, Amanda laughed. "You know, if we could just get your green girlfriend together with Jason, both our problems would be solved!"

"If you can devise a plan to achieve that, I would assist you in any way I could," Sarek said.

She laughed. Then said ruefully, "I would not do that to the Orion."

"I am not sure I share your objections," Sarek said, looking down at her. His face was his normal unreadable facade. She wasn't sure if he was teasing or not.

She smiled. "You know, even if my date is lousy, at least I've gotten to dance with two of the most handsome men at the ball."

Sarek immediately looked away.

"Oh, stop it, Sarek. It is perfectly acceptable and appropriate for me to comment on your appearance at this sort of thing. It is also appropriate for you to offer me a compliment in return."

Sarek turned his head back towards her. His eyes slid down her body...did they linger? No, impossible.

He looked away again and swallowed. "The bottom half of your dress covers you adequately."

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "We're going to have to work on your complimenting skills, Mister Junior Diplomat, if you ever want to become a senior diplomat." Then she whispered, "I do find the top to be a bit on the skimpy side..."

She was suddenly curious. "Am I easier to read, telepathically, now that both of your hands are on contact with bare skin?"

Sarek tilted his head, his hand clasping hers a little tighter. "Telepathic...or rather empathic touch--I am not quite capable of reading your thoughts with this touch without concentrated effort--is strongest through the hands and temples. Vulcans and Humans are well innervated in these regions. Of course your spine is also well innervated, but most of the nerve endings are distal to the spine itself; also the nerves are encased within your vertebrae so although I may sense some traces of emotions --"

"So, no?" said Amanda.

"So, no," said Sarek, looking at her again.

"But I did enjoy the explanation, Sarek." She smiled.

When the music number ended, Amanda said softly, "I don't want to go back to join the Entitlement Bunch just yet." Sarek tilted his head and asked her to dance another number. After that he didn't even bother to ask her; he just didn't let her go.

Amanda watched T'Zena dance with the Federation Ambassador's husband. She also saw Josef dance the Federation Ambassador herself, and also with Ling-Lin, the Tellurite's wife. "You have competition, Sarek!" she declared gleefully. Sarek eyed the two and said, "Apparently so."

"You're not going to go cut in?" Amanda asked with a grin.

"I have no desire to cause a scene when it is unnecessary," said Sarek.

It was after their fifth number that it abruptly ended. Sarek and Amanda were applauding the band when Jason approached her from behind. "Hey, what are you doing over here? We've missed you."

Amanda highly doubted it. "Dancing with a friend," she said with a smile. It was true...but it was also nice to piss Jason off a little bit. "I love to dance and you didn't seem interested."

Jason looked up at Sarek and his jaw clenched a little bit. "Next number is with me."

"Amanda, I am still available --" Sarek said.

Amanda looked over at her...friend...Sarek's eyes were on Jason's.

"It's okay, Sarek, I'll be alright," she said.

"Of course you'll be alright. What are you talking about?" said Jason, pulling a little roughly on her hand.

Sarek looked at her. The music started. He nodded ever so slightly, took one last look at Jason, and walked over to where T'Zena was talking with the Federaton Ambassador.

**A/N:**

Okay, that's last post until Tuesday. Thank you for reading, and special thanks to everyone giving reviews. If you enjoyed this chapter / or didn't / or have suggestions please let me know!


	15. Observations

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda & I'm not making money from this!**

Special thanks to my beta Notes from the Classroom - If you haven't her story "Truth and Lies" yet, check it out. It's in my Favorites.

**Observations**

Sarek returned to stand beside T'Zena and Friedmann, now talking to the Terran Ambassador to the Federation of Planets and her husband.

He watched as Jason Ethridge danced with Amanda exactly three minutes and twenty seconds before ushering her quickly from the floor to stand once more with his friends. Sarek watched Amanda go, her brows slightly furrowed.

Amanda had called him a friend. The word didn't mean as much in Standard as it did in Vulcan, but she had said it to someone who apparently harbored Vulcans ill will. Sarek took this to mean she did not take the word lightly. It didn't make him feel any better about the company she was currently keeping only out of feelings of obligation to her family.

Averting his eyes from Amanda, Sarek tried to pay attention to the conversation between T'Zena, Friedmann, the Federation Ambassador and her husband.

Although Federation members had embassies on all worlds, to be the actual representative to the Federation itself was a higher honor -- at least on Vulcan. After listening to the way Amanda's acquaintances talked of the Federation, he wondered if this was the attitude believed by humans.

He was somewhat underwhelmed by the Federation Ambassador's conversation. She seemed to stick to small talk. The most interesting moment came when she put an arm on Friedmann's shoulder and said, "I will steal him from you yet, T'Zena."

Sarek blinked. Steal him? Josef turned pink, stared at his feet, and pushed his glasses up his nose in the way Sarek found extremely irritating. Why didn't he have corrective surgery? Illogical human.

T'Zena tilted her head, confused as Sarek, no doubt.

"He has done a wonder with the Vulcan Endowment -- ten percent average return three years in a row despite the stodgy markets," the Terran Ambassador said. "Josef, the Terran delegation wants you to be our CFO...when are you going to work for me?"

On Vulcan to publicly declare you would steal someone in front of their employer would be considered very bad manners indeed. Was she joking or serious?

Josef continued to look at the floor. "I have only earned an average return of 9.72 percent in the last three years...and if you keep this up T'Zena will think I put you up for this to angle for a raise."

The other humans laughed and Josef excused himself to speak with a member of the Andorian delegation.

The small talk resumed and Sarek's eyes went to where Amanda stood, back turned to him, across the room. Mr. Ethridge kept a hand possessively on Amanda's hip. Sarek found himself resisting the urge to clench his jaw.

Sarek danced with the Federation Ambassador. He also danced with Ling-Lin, and they resumed their fascinating discussion about the merits of various sources of antimatter fuel. Friedmann and T'Zena he made the rounds of the room, talking to representatives of the various worlds.

There was much more small talk...and whispers. Sarek's sensitive ears picked up snippets of, _"...rumors they are already rationing food...," "...value of Vulcan credits will fall when their dilithium crystals are not in such high demand..."_

Every three minutes he would discreetly look up to monitor Amanda's whereabouts.

He also saw Friedmann look in her direction a few times as well...and found himself resisting the urge to clench his jaw again. Certainly it was not his place to keep her from finding a suitable human male. However...the key word was suitable, and since T'Pau obviously had reservations about Friedman's integrity, he decided it was not illogical for him to be concerned.

x x x

It was close to midnight and Amanda had had enough of the Entitlement Gang. And she'd had more than enough of Jason Ethridge; she kept gently disengaging his hand from her hip, and it kept going back there.

"I'm getting tired," she said. Tired was nicer than saying, I'm incredibly bored, wasn't it?

"What?" Jason said, leaning too close, a slightly inebriated smile on his face. "The night's just beginning."

"Yes, well...I'm a lightweight," Amanda said.

"We can tell that by how little you're drinking," said Asha, sipping some exotic pink concoction.

Amanda decided to ignore that. "Anyway, don't worry, I'll just catch a cab." Turning to Ross and Asha she said, "Really, nice to meet you. Perhaps I'll see you around."

"Sure, maybe we will," said Ross, looking briefly at Amanda before raising an eyebrow at Asha.

Jason dropped the hand that was holding onto Amanda's hip. "Wait now, you can't go, Amanda. My mom gave me something I'm supposed to give to you...so you can give it to your mom."

Amanda didn't know what to say. Under any other circumstances she would have been bolting to the door already by now. But the words 'your mom' and 'my mom' made her pause.

"Oh, okay," she stammered.

"Great, we can get it now," said Jason. Turning to his friends he winked. "See you guys in a bit."

And then he smiled at Amanda, took her gently by the elbow and started heading towards the lobby. She'd just tell him she'd grab her shawl and purse from the coat check while he went to get whatever it was.

"You were probably getting bored, weren't you?" Jason said as they made there way across the room. "I guess I should expect that from someone who is friends with Vulcans. You know, we don't really want to see them starve or anything...and they won't you know they can buy food elsewhere...we just want to keep Earth's water for Earth. And you know...for Earth not to be so dependent on Vulcan for dilithium..."

It was the nicest thing Jason had said all evening...about Vulcans or her. Amanda didn't know what to say.

x x x

Sarek watched from across the room as Amanda departed with Jason Ethridge. The two made their way towards the lobby, walking past the Orion woman who had been pestering Sarek earlier, she was now talking to Friedmann -- although at a slightly more discreet distance Sarek noted.

Friedmann looked up as Amanda passed. Whispering something in the Orion's ear, Friedmann abruptly left the green woman to follow Amanda and Jason. The Orion woman bit her lip but did nothing to stop the human male.

Excusing himself quickly, Sarek made his way to the lobby. He found Friedmann standing by the turbolifts pressing the buttons quickly.

"Where did they go?" Sarek asked.

Friedmann looked up at him. "I heard what's-his-name say she could wait at the observation deck while he went to get something for her mother."

"Where are you going?" Sarek asked.

Friedmann shrugged and pressed the up button gain -- which was of course, completely illogical. Pressing the buttons quickly wasn't going to make the turbolifts come any quicker. "I thought I might like to see the observation deck myself. Care to join me?"

Sarek stared at Friedmann -- he knew humans were adept liars. Was this foray to the observation deck an excuse to confirm Amanda's well being? If so, Sarek could not fault him for his protectiveness. But protectiveness towards a potential mate was instinct, wasn't it? Hardly the sum and full measure of a man. And perhaps the excursion had some other devious purpose?

"Joining you would be satisfactory," said Sarek.

At that moment a feminine voice from behind them said, "Excuse me, are you Josef Friedman from the Vulcan Embassy?"

Friedmann and Sarek both turned.

"Yes, I am," Friedmann said.

"I'm Caroline Cross. I work for the non-Federated colonies...we have been wanting to speak to T'Zena about grain exports..." The gray-haired woman before them was wearing business attire; she was obviously not a patron of the ball.

The turbolift door chimed.

"You must be attending the Federation event," Caroline said. "Our delegation was not invited, but we are in town."

Josef turned to Sarek and tilted his head towards the turbolift. "Will you take care of this?"

"Yes," Sarek said quickly.

"Good, I'll meet you there as soon as I can." Josef said. And then he took the woman's arm. "Ms. Cross, you are now officially my date for the evening."

The turbo lift door opened and Sarek stepped in. He pressed the button for the observation deck.

**A/N:**

Another short chapter. But hopefully not completely unsatisfying. If you enjoyed, please review! Reviews help Notes and me a lot (and I actually have made changes to the story based on your reviews...but I can't comment on those until the end...or I'll give the plot away...)

Should I start a poll to see what people think Josef is up to?


	16. Splinters

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek or Amanda and do not make money from this**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom. Made some last minute changes to this...mistakes are all mine.  
Notes just published chapter 4 of Truth and Lies today -- its in my favorites...check it out!

**Splinters**

The large lift was crowded when she got on with Jason -- there were at least fifteen people. And he pressed the button that had Observation Deck labeled next to it. Maybe she'd been completely wrong...maybe she'd been illogical when she told him that no, she'd prefer to wait in the lobby and ripped her elbow out of his hand.

People had turned to look at them. Jason turned, laughing and said, "Hey, easy, you'll enjoy the view while I go to my room and pick up the gift from my mom. Come on, I think your mother's expecting it."

Amanda looked around. People were staring. She suddenly felt like a girl being bratty and irrational at a high school dance, making a fuss because things weren't going exactly her way. This was the Ritz Carlton. It was a Federation event. She was in a crowded, respectable, public place.

And then he'd smiled, a full smile, and she felt like she was being...well a, bitch.

She swallowed. She did not like this man, or really trust him...but she would be polite. Because that is what good people did, right?

...and the turbolift was crowded when she got on...there was nothing to worry about. There would be people at the observation deck. It was a public place, after all.

But then one by one and two by two all the other passengers got off the lift. The ascent was incredibly slow...Amanda thought they stopped at just about every third floor...and at one point someone got on...but then that person exited. And now, as the lift stopped at the top floor deck level they were alone.

The doors slid open to a gorgeous lobby. There was an ornate porcelain vase on a high beautiful end table, marble floor and walls, and a gilt sign that indicated Observation Deck left and Suites right. Jason took her arm and started to guide her to the right.

"No, I'm going to the observation deck," Amanda said.

Jason stopped, his smile gone, his fingers dug into her elbow. "What is your problem? We'll go to my room, we'll get the thing for your dad from my dad, and then we'll go to the observation deck."

Dad? She'd been an idiot.

Twisting her elbow out of his grip she said, "I'm not going anywhere with you!" And then she tried to walk towards the elevator.

"No fucking way you don't." Jason grabbed her with both arms and threw her against the table opposite the lifts. Pain shot through her stomach, and her teeth rattled.

And suddenly she knew she had to fight...or this was going to go much worse. Picking up the ornate vase, Amanda spun and heaved it in Jason's direction.

He blocked it and it crashed and shattered across the floor. Why didn't anyone hear that?

"You little bitch!" He was smiling when he said it. His arms shot forward and grabbed her by her shoulders and spun her around. "I only brought you here because your dad is on some business council my dad thinks is important," he whispered from behind into her ear. "The least you could do is show some appreciation."

Amanda lifted her head and shouted as loud as she could, "Fire! Fire! Everyone, Fire!"

"Fuck!" Jason put his hand over her mouth. Amanda tried to bring her heels down on his feet and failed. Twisting her head, she tried to bite; her teeth bit down three times in rapid succession on empty air, but then as Jason shifted to avoid her heels she caught a little bit of skin between her incisors.

"Fucking bitch!" Jason snarled. He spun Amanda around.

There was a moment when time stood still. Amanda's whole world shrunk to just her and Jason. She could not see anything but him, and could not hear anything other than her own heartbeat and ragged breaths.

He had one hand on her shoulder, the other was poised in the air in a wind up for a punch. It was almost as if he was frozen in place...but he wasn't frozen--that fist was coming at her. Amanda was prepared to knee him in the groin but somehow she knew that fist was going to connect with her face before her knee connected with his body.

Trying to pull back she closed her eyes, turned her head, and waited for the blow to come.

But it didn't.

The hand on her shoulder dropped.

Amanda opened her eyes and turned to look.

Jason's eyes were closed, and his body hung limply in the air. A shadow had one hand on Jason's neck, the shadow's other hand held Jason aloft by the wrist.

The sound of her own breath in her ears reached a crescendo that was almost deafening. Amanda closed her eyes...opened them slowly.

And the shadow wasn't a shadow anymore; it was Sarek holding Jason aloft in the air like a rag doll. Sarek gazed mutely at the human in his hands and his lip curled upward ever so minutely and just for a moment Amanda was very frightened.

She blinked, a gasp escaping her mouth. Turning to meet her eyes, Sarek tilted his head. His face was as completely calm as ever, but for some reason Amanda felt as though he were someone else.

x x x

Stepping out of the lift, Sarek saw Amanda pinned against a waist high table by the human man, the floor around them littered with shards of what looked like pottery. Sarek saw the human male wind his fist backwards in preparation to stirke.

With quick steps Sarek crossed the lobby, broken pottery crunching beneath his feet. One of Sarek's hands caught the wrist of the hand the human male had intended to strike Amanda with. Sarek's other hand caught the man in a Vulcan nerve pinch.

And that is when Sarek's mind splintered.

He wanted to kill. And there were so many option.

He could drop the Human and crush his windpipe beneath his foot.

Or he could break his neck.

There were the shards of pottery on the floor. They were sharp enough that he could use a piece to pierce the Human's hide.

Or...and this was particularly appealing...Sarek could try a mental assault. He could invade this man's mind, find where Jason was cowering in unconsciousness and kill him by attacking the nerves that innervated his heart and vital organs. He would be able to face the Human while he did it, watch the Human unravel as he began to slip towards death...drink in his fear -- and Sarek could let the Human know just how very, very angry he was.

This Human was an enemy of his people. And this Human had tried to hurt his...friend. Yes, definitely his friend. He apparently did not know how very seriously Vulcans regarded friendship and that was deeply...annoying? Yes, annoying enough that breaking every single bone in the Human's weak body seemed entirely appropriate -- although that might mean delaying killing him.

Sarek began to weigh the benefits of slow painful death versus expediency.

At the same time he was considering all these options, another splinter of his mind looked on with a detached fascination. This was what logic was for! To temper these urges. It was entirely inappropriate, and yes, illogical, to kill this man. He was incapacitated now, and no longer a threat. The logical thing to do was to leave this matter to the proper authorities who would dispassionately judge the man's crimes and decide upon a suitable punishment.

The sound of ragged breathing caressed his ears and he turned to look at his...friend. She stood before him, eyes wide in that lovely symmetrical face.

Ah...and there was that other element about this whole situation.

She. His...friend, was female.

Sarek had removed the man who sought to mark and claim her, so didn't that mean, that by default, she now belonged to Sarek himself?

She licked her lips. Was she trying to be seductive? It was effective.

"Sarek?"

Wait...Didn't she recognize him? Perhaps she was in shock.

The splinter of his mind that was logical suddenly expanded and coalesced around all the other thoughts. All of his analytical abilities returned to the service of that logical side of himself.

How long had he stood in contemplation? Two point seven seconds.

"Excuse me," Sarek said and turned his attention to the man in his hands. He lowered Jason gently to the ground. Dropping him might result in needless injury.

Standing up, he looked down and regarded the man...for a heartbeat the thought of crushing the man's neck beneath his foot flickered through his mind, and then was gone.

He tilted his head. He would have much to meditate on later.

He turned to Amanda. "Are you in need of medical assistance?"

She shook her head.

Reaching into his pocket for his comm, Sarek said, "I will call security then."

Amanda was staring down at the man on the floor. Her face twisted and she pulled a foot backwards. Sarek realized that she was going to kick the Human. Moving forward, Sarek blocked the foot trying to connect with the unconscious man's cranium. The foot landed against his shins. And then Amanda was banging her fists against Sarek's chest...but her hands fell too softly to hurt. After a few strikes Amanda's head fell to Sarek's chest. Her body shook.

Sarek had no idea what to do. Standing rigidly he said, "Amanda, I must call security."

She nodded, but did not speak.

**A/N:**

No, I don't think Sarek is 'psycho'....I just think he is a Vulcan.

Thank you for reading! If you liked it please review. It is the only way fanfiction authors and our betas get paid.

To all those complaining of short updates, I'm sorry, they help me keep up my momentum.


	17. Neccessary Assistance

**Disclaimer: I don't own, and I make no profit from it.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom! She is now published on FanFiction -- and just published chapter 5 of Truth and Lies -- check it out, its in my Favorites section.

Bad Science Alert end of this chapter. Some of the *good* ideas taken with permission from reader Ghiri.

**Necessary Assistance**

The next hour passed in a blur for Amanda. Security came. Jason was wheeled away on a stretcher. And then the police came. Someone -- a nurse? A doctor? Examined her briefly. Then she was questioned.

Amanda expected the police to be harsher, more critical of her, possibly distrustful of Sarek. But they weren't. They were professional, almost kind. She thought she heard one of the officers mumble something about 'Spoiled Senator's Brat...'

She and Sarek were questioned by an older man of African descent. He had white hair and a scar down one side of his face. When he finished hearing their accounts he nodded, held up his hand in the Vulcan salute and said in halting Vulcan, _"Live long and prosper, Sarek and Amanda."_

It was just another surreal moment in a surreal evening. Amanda's jaw dropped. Sarek's head tilted.

Standing up, the officer said, "A lot of us are ex-military. We've served with the Vulcan Defense Force -- I myself served at the battle of New Gallipoli. The Vulcans who served with me there will always be my brothers." He nodded and turned away before Amanda could say anything.

Vulcan and Humans repelled Klingon invaders of New Gallipoli -- but at a tremendous cost in Human and Vulcan lives. It was a reminder of when push came to shove, Vulcan and Earth could stand together until the bitter end. Amanda found herself wondering how her race had forgotten that in such a short time.

Obviously the officer hadn't forgotten what their two races could accomplish together...and he called them brothers...

And then events blurred together again. Josef was there and T'Zena. Josef was telling her how sorry he was. Sorry for what? She didn't understand. T'Zena was talking to Sarek and then the police. Hotel staff came and began to sweep away the vase.

Someone, a police officer maybe, told her she was free to go. There were too many people in the lobby. The turbolift door slid open just then, more hotel staff got off...and it was as though the lift was waiting for her and her alone.

Exiting the lift in the lobby, Amanda made her way to the coat check and picked up her shawl and purse. Wrapping her shawl around her shoulders, she dropped the purse. Stooping down to pick it up, she her shawl fell. Re-wrapping the shawl, she felt the purse slipping from her fingers again. She threw back her head in frustration, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Excuse me, Amanda. This is yours, I believe."

For a moment Amanda didn't even recognize the voice.

Opening her eyes, she found herself facing Sarek again. This time holding her purse out to her.

Reaching to take it from his hands, she noticed for the first time that her hands were shaking.

Looking up quickly she found Sarek's eyes on hers.

He tilted his head. "I believe you mentioned taking a cab home; however, if it would not make you feel uncomfortable, I am at your disposal."

x x x

Amanda was very quiet the whole drive...Sarek suspected she was in mild shock, although she refused further assistance from the police when they'd offered counseling and medical care. She had been briefly examined, and he didn't think they would let her go if she was exhibiting signs life threatening trauma...but he was still concerned.

She'd walked onto the turbolift alone, without saying goodbye. Sarek had excused himself immediately from the police officer he was speaking to and tried to join her...but the lift doors had slid shut before he had a chance to reach her. Worse, she had been staring directly at him as the doors shut but didn't seem to have seen him.

And then when he caught up to her in the lobby, he watched as her accessory bag slid from her fingers not once, but twice. He didn't think it was safe for her to go home alone -- even if the nurse had told her she was free to go.

Now he wished he could say something to help her in her obviously altered mental state. But Sarek estimated his odds of saying something inappropriate at being somewhere around 98.7% based on his limited readings on manners in this particular type of situations, and previous attempts at improvisation in the past.

So he said nothing beyond what was absolutely necessary.

When he pulled up to her house, Amanda did not move right away. He heard her swallow.

"Thank you for everything tonight, Sarek. I...I...feel like such an idiot...I shouldn't have gone anywhere beyond the lobby with him. He said he had something to give my Mom...I wasn't going to go to his room either, I was going to go to the observation deck and wait..."

Sarek took a deep breath. He would use colloquialisms to soften his words. "Amanda, I apologize in advance for the very high probability that I am about to insert my foot in my mouth."

She puffed out a soft laugh, and for an instant Sarek was relieved. And then she wiped away a tear and Sarek was disorientated. "It appears I already have inserted my foot into--"

"No, no you haven't, Sarek. I'm just shaken up...literally and figuratively."

"Ah. Well, I was going to say that you are not an idiot. You have been apprehensive of the man's intentions the whole evening. The only reason you put up with his company was out of a sense of familial obligation -- which is something Vulcans can understand. You did not knowingly go where you would be isolated..."

She shook and looked down at her hands. "...next time don't worry about causing a scene or what my parents might think..."

Sarek took a breath. "If you feel your safety is at risk --"

T'Yavi must have known her safety was at risk. He looked down.

Amanda whispered, "I didn't want to cause a scene and instead I caused a huge scene...and I dragged you into it...and I know you hate calling attention to yourself...and I'm sorry..."

Sarek blinked. It would have been against the principles of Surak to not render his assistance. "You need not be concerned. Some scenes are necessary."

Amanda looked over at him and he felt a weight lift from his shoulders he hadn't known was there. She hadn't looked at him since he'd handed back her bag.

"Vulcans don't lie," she said softly. "So I guess I can believe you."

"Of course."

She nodded at him and then turned to the door. She fumbled at the latch and Sarek realized her hands were shaking again.

"I will help you out," he said.

Stepping out of the hover he made his way around and opened the door for her. He offered his arm so she might use it for support.

Amanda stared at his arm for a few seconds. Had he done something wrong? He searched his data banks on manners and could not find anything in human customs that discouraged this.

"I thought touching was a big no for Vulcans -- I know you find dancing uncomfortable..." Amanda said.

Ah. That was it. She was being sensitive to his culture, which was admirable, but she was slightly misinformed. "Ordinarily, yes. But rendering assistance when needed is never illogical."

Amanda took his arm, carefully not touching his hands or any exposed skin. "Thank you, Sarek," she whispered.

"Not at all," he replied, walking her the short distance to her door.

She pushed her fingertips to the key pad, and checked the readout before entering her access pin with shaking fingers. "My roommate isn't home yet..." She said. She took a deep breath. "Sarek, would you mind coming in and waiting with me until she gets home? I...I just don't want to be alone."

She met his eyes. This was an unusual request. A Vulcan would seek to retire to mediation. But she was not Vulcan, and she had rendered him much assistance in the past -- over eight weeks of dance lessons, and hadn't she spared him from the advances of an amorous Orion?

Tapping the arm she held lightly she said, "I promise I don't bite."

And her intentions were obviously not inappropriate. And considering the circumstances it was only logical to be concerned about her welfare.

"That would be acceptable."

x x x

Amanda let go of Sarek's arm as they entered her house -- and wished she hadn't. He was warm...and she missed his warmth already.

Tea. She'd make tea.

She led Sarek through her small home to the kitchen and turned on the light. "I thought I'd have some tea," she said. "I have some of the jasmine you like...thought I might have some mint..."

She went to refill the teakettle on the stove and fumbled with it miserably.

Sarek came up beside her. "May I?"

"I'm not an invalid," she snapped, looking down at her hands. "Besides, you don't know where things are."

"I presume the mugs hanging beneath the cabinet are clean, and that the tea is in the canister marked tea over there on the counter."

She looked up at him. His face was the same mask of calm it always was. Did Vulcans get nerves? Did they have adrenaline? Had he had any emotional reaction to the event at all?

She didn't say these things, though.

Instead she fell back to the familiar. "They don't hand out astrophysicist degrees on Vulcan for nothing, do they?"

"No," said Sarek.

Amanda handed him the teakettle. "Can you operate the stove?"

He tilted his head.

Amanda blinked. "What? I just thought maybe you'd find it hopelessly primitive."

"I will endeavor to manage. Where do you keep the flint and steel to start the fire?"

For a minute she almost fell for it. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

"Yes," Sarek said, filling the teakettle with clean water.

It actually felt good to be teased. It was familiar and comfortable and she almost wanted to cry for some reason. She wouldn't cry.

"I'm going to sit down in the other room," she said.

"I will follow you in a few minutes," Sarek said, putting the water on to boil.

Amanda sat down at the corner of the couch, hugged a pillow to her chest, and pulled her feet up. And then her head began to fill with thoughts she'd rather not have. What had happened. What might have happened.

Repressing a shiver, she picked up the remote and turned on the big screen monitor across the room. The first thing that came up was the Sol News Network's special report on desertification.

She was about to turn it off out of respect to Sarek, but then she left it on. This was just the sort of thing that Senator Ethridge wanted, and Jason and his horrible friends.

The show was the same old thing...we're losing water and minerals by exporting our food to Vulcan, etc, etc...Blue Peace was there, as well as several prominent researchers. There were also interviews with ordinary citizens all over Earth who were _very concerned_ about losing water and mineral resources to Vulcan.

Sarek came to the door of the living room. "Sarek, don't we gain some minerals back in the form of the technological gizmos we get from you guys?"

If he was at all disturbed by her choice of viewing material he said nothing. "Yes. There are full elemental breakdowns given with all of the items we trade -- just as your food packaging gives a full breakdown of nutritional information. This...news program...does not seem to be addressing that..."

"It won't," Amanda said, noticing his hesitancy in describing the current programming as news. "This is sensationalist drivel." She hit the mute button.

"Water is the real issue," Sarek said. "There are efforts by both Terran and Vulcan scientists to devise methods of harvesting water from Ceres, Pallas and other carbonaceous bodies in your asteroid belt. Typically 22% of their composition is water. However, the water must be treated for radiation and other contaminants -- particularly exotic amino acid like structures that can be extremely toxic. Bacteria are currently being developed to digest the aminos and render the water safe for Human and Vulcan use."

Amanda raised an eyebrow in his direction. "So when we are able to mine water from Ceres, Vulcan won't even need Earth food anymore and then we'll be on the other side of the trade imbalance...maybe that is why it hasn't happened yet..."

Sarek tilted his head. "I do not know. There are definite technical challenges, however...and there are issues to consider before importing more water than is lost to space travel. It may be more damaging to our population than the occasional drought.

"And even with ample water supplies, Vulcan will still be susceptible to food shortages. Our population is large, our planet harsh. Earth is very fertile. Not just with water, but with nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and organic compounds. And your population since the last great war is far below what your planet can sustain -- our population of six billion is stable, but we are at our limit. Also, there are elements of our physiology that make our energy requirements -- ah, the water is boiling, excuse me."

He left the room. The scene on the monitor switched back to Vulcan. The video of Paumak and his derisive comment, and then the horrible comment by the anonymous Vulcan in response to T'Zena's statement, were shown again. Amanda had seen just how shallow humans could be though, too.

Sarek walked in and handed her her tea and Amanda suddenly realized she was still in her gown, and he was still in his tuxedo. "My Vulcan butler," she said and winked -- otherwise he might not know she was teasing.

"May I be permitted to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea with you, Madam?" Sarek replied evenly.

He'd come a long way since coming to Earth.

"Just this once," Amanda said raising an eyebrow. She felt better pretending she was fine and everything was normal even if she still felt like she was on the edge of tears. She took a sip of her tea and Sarek seated himself in the arm chair next to her.

...Not that Sarek had ever been in her home before...and how did having tea after 2 AM with an alien in her living room ever feel normal?

Movement on the screen caught her eye. The camera was focused on the human announcer, but in the background were ordinary Vulcans...adults and children. The children did not smile or frolic. They marched obediently beside their parents. They did not hold hands, she noticed; instead the children and parents walked with index and middle fingers touching.

A woman walked very close to the camera, a toddler in her arms, a small child at her side. They looked so much like human children, but with up-swept brows, bowl haircuts and pointy ears...oh, those ears...

"Your children are adorable," Amanda whispered.

Sarek's mouth opened. Before he could say it, Amanda amended her statement. "Vulcan children are adorable."

She turned the sound back on.

_"Of course we tried, like we always do, to get some comments from ordinary Vulcans," _the announcer half shrugged,_ "but they are a private people and the _do not_ take kindly to the interference of outsiders. Brent Tucker, live from Shi'Kahr."_

The implication, of course, was Vulcans don't respect or even like Humans, but Hell, they'd take Human food and water. Not that Vulcan children had anything to do with that. It was _illogical_ to make children suffer for the perceived arrogance of their parents.

And what about the arrogance of humans...and their parents?

Hitting the mute button again, Amanda asked, "Sarek, does anyone important on Vulcan listen to you?"

"Yes," he said.

"Do they respect your opinion?" Amanda asked, staring past the announcer at Vulcan families in the scene.

"That is another matter entirely," Sarek said.

"You've got to get those people talking." She turned to him, "The ordinary people, Sarek."

"Amanda, it is not that simple. They will be disinclined to talk because they do not know what to say," Sarek said. "Which may be prudent given the differences in our cultures."

"So, give them talking points."

The police officer they'd met earlier suddenly came to mind. Vulcans had died side by side with Humans -- it was _illogical _to weaken a partner that was willing to die for you.

The amount of water that was available in Earth's biosphere varied from year to year, depending on the amount that got locked into glaciers and icecaps. And it sounded as though in a few years time Earth would be able to replace water that was lost to export. So it was_ illogical_ to halt exports now.

But really she didn't care what was illogical or logical...she suddenly just really wanted the bill to halt food exports to Vulcan to fail. And she wanted it to fail dramatically, in a huge implosion that would show all of Earth just what shallow, short-sighted, self-serving bastards Senator Ethridge and everyone who thought like him and his son were.

"Amanda...you are very quiet," Sarek said.

"You've got to change the news, Sarek. It's working against you right now," Amanda said, still staring at the screen.

"You have mentioned before that you believed Vulcan was being set up. Do you believe your media is responsible?" Sarek said.

"No, the media just goes where the story is -- they attack whatever fresh meat they're thrown like a school of hungry piranhas. You've got to control the meat..." The show had switched to the ending credits and a montage of the announcers looking heroic and self-important.

Sarek cleared his throat. "I realize that is only metaphor; however, as a vegan --"

"Get the ordinary people talking, Sarek," she said again. "And let them say things like 'We know Earth won't let us down, Earth and Vulcan have stood together for over one hundred years and they won't let us down now'." Amanda waved her hands. "Or some logical derivative of that...As soon as humans see mothers with children -- children that look so much like our children -- saying how they trust humans...implying that they need human help, any anti-export bill is going to face a firestorm of public disapproval."

She thought again of the officer they had met earlier...She began to smile, a wicked idea in her brain. "And you know what...it might be a lovely time for Vulcan to sponsor a reunion of the Vulcan and Human soldiers from New Gallipoli and other important battles. That would be a media event."

She giggled...and her laughter sounded strange to her ears. She didn't feel like she was inhabiting her body...she felt like she was floating outside of it...

She giggled again. "Blood is thicker than water."

"Pardon?" asked Sarek.

Amanda turned to him. He was leaning closer to her, his head tilted.

"The original expression means that ties to family will always be stronger than ties to non-kin...but...the police officer, he's seen blood spilled. Vulcan and human blood...and he thinks of Vulcans as his brothers. Some people think of Vulcans as family..."

She smiled. "Maybe we can change the meaning of the idiom...The blood we've spilled together is thicker than trivial fights over water."

She giggled and fell forward on her pillow. She felt like a spring that had just been sprung. "Sarek."

"Yes, Amanda?"

He was leaning very close to her. She could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck.

Amanda laughed. "I think I may be coming off of a little bit of a adrenaline rush or shock...or something."

"Yes, Amanda, I think that may be so." Sarek said. Perhaps not enough to require medical aide but...His eyes caught sight of shadows on Amanda's back. Bruises. Perhaps where she'd been shoved against the table?

The thought of crushing Jason's Ethridge's windpipe beneath his heel fluttered again through his mind. He let it pass. Let logic reign.

For a few moments they had teased each as normal. And engaged in a logical discussion...but now Amanda seemed overly emotional. Even for a human. An after effect of traumatic events earlier this evening, as she suggested?

"That doesn't mean my ideas are wrong," she said, her voice muffled by the pillow she was leaning into.

"It would be illogical to presume they were," Sarek said. Ideas should be weighed on their merits, not on the merits of the mental state of their originator.

She didn't lift her head from the pillow on her lap. She laughed again softly. It didn't sound like her normal laughter. It was too rapid, the wrong pitch.

Just one touch and he'd be able to determine her emotional state.

Just one touch and he could give her peace and comfort.

But the medical opinion of the nurse was that Amanda was well enough -- and without a health risk he could not justify initiating telepathic contact with someone he was not related to. And what he was thinking of was intimate.

Still...she clearly was not herself. He would just ask.

He opened his mouth...and there was a sound from the hallway. Amanda lifted herself upright. A young woman Sarek had never seen before came into the room. She was attractive, pale-haired and pale-eyed like Josef Friedmann, and smelled like cigarette smoke and alcohol, but she did not waver as she walked.

"Amanda! How was your evening?" she said with a wide smile. And then she looked up at Sarek and her smile vanished. She blinked.

"Carrie," said Amanda, "this is Sarek. Sarek, this is Carrie.

"The evening was...not so great." Amanda turned to him. "Present company excepted, of course."

He nodded at her. "You will be fine now?"

"I will," Amanda said. "Thanks again for everything."

Sarek tilted his head. "Friends look out for one another." He hoped that was not too forward.

Amanda smiled. Apparently, he had not overstepped any lines.

"Yeah, don't forget I saved you from that Orion," she said.

"I am Vulcan -- I do not forget." He stood up and nodded in Carrie's direction. "Pleased to meet you. I can show myself to the door."

"Of course you can; you're the butler," Amanda said.

He gave her a last look. She raised an eyebrow to indicate she was teasing.

Sarek went towards the door. Behind him he could hear Carrie say, "Amanda? You leave with Senator-son-what's-his-name, and you come back home with your Vulcan...

are you going to tell me what happened?"

Her Vulcan? He would have to meditate on that...

In the meantime he needed to speak immediately to T'Pau. It would be much better if he called her rather than the other way around.

**A/N:****  
**Bacteria idea came from Ghiri...I guess there could be some cool space bacteria that could treat irradiated water/food etc. too.

Notes told me she was mad when Carrie came home...I should warn people who haven't read my fics that I ummmm...tend to go for the slow burn.

We'll be getting back to other mysteries soon…If you were mildly entertained, please leave a review!


	18. Policies, Politics, and Precepts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda, Sarek or T'Pau and do not make any money from them**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom. Check out her story Truth and Lies in my favorites section!

**Policies, Politics, and Precepts**

Sarek meditated briefly before initiating the subspace call. He was completely at peace with his actions. His behavior, if not his thoughts, had been logical the entire evening. And that was all that Surak required.

Although he was at peace with his actions, he was not comfortable with revealing his personal friendship with Amanda to T'Pau. If directly questioned, he would divulge. But the relationship was not of import to his placement on Earth.

Entering the code that accessed T'Pau's direct line, he sat back and waited.

The screen flickered. "Sarek," the elder said, "this is unexpected."

"I have had an unexpectedly eventful evening," Sarek replied. He then proceeded to recount events.

"...I had been instructed to try and mingle with other guests. I danced with the Terran Federation Ambassador, the wife of the Tellurite Ambassador and with Miss Amanda Grayson, date of Jason Ethridge, Senator Ethridge's son, immediately after Josef Friedmann. I deemed it appropriate, based on your suspicions about Mr. Friedmann."

Not a lie -- but a deliberate obscurantism. She was his friend and as a friend he was allowed to be concerned with her being in the presence of suspicious company.

"Do you know the nature of her association with Mr. Friedmann?" T'Pau asked.

Sarek did not hesitate. "She has mentioned his eligibility as a romantic partner. They are associates from the Embassy. It was actually during a meeting in Mr. Friedmann's office that I learned she would be attending the event with Senator Ethridge's son."

"And did you learn anything of interest about Mr. Friedmann from her?" T'Pau asked.

"No. But she did speak of Mr. Ethridge extensively and I learned quite a few things. Apparently, the senator plans to initiate a bill in the Terran Senate to cut off food exports to Vulcan."

T'Pau sat up straighter. "I did not know this...The Federation would strike down such a bill if it passed, of course, but it would take time, and there would be the issue of enforcement."

"In addition, I learned that certain elements of Terran society do not view an embargo as a sufficient retaliatory gesture," Sarek added.

T'Pau tilted her head. "Indeed. I would judge that assessment of Terran society to be accurate."

"Later that evening, I saw Mr. Ethridge leave in the company of Ms. Grayson. Mr. Friedmann broke out of a conversation quite abruptly to follow them."

He'd been talking to the Orion, and seemed to break away from the conversation quite easily. How had he done that? Had he promised to meet her later?

"I was curious, so I went as well," Sarek said. "I discovered Mr. Friedmann in the lobby at the turbolift attempting to go up to the observation deck. He asked if I cared to join him, and I accepted.

"Just as the turbolift arrived Mr. Friedmann was approached by a Ms. Cross, a member of the non-Federated colonies. She wanted to speak with T'Zena regarding exporting agricultural products to Vulcan. Mr. Friedmann indicated that I should go ahead to the observation deck and said that he would join me as soon as he was able...and then he took Ms. Cross's arm, declaring her his date for the evening."

"That is interesting. The non-Federated colonies do not produce enough surplus food to be of use to us for very long -- but at this point we need to aggressively pursue all options." T'Pau blinked. "He called her his date...And he had just met her?"

Sarek tilted his head. "He did not seem to recognize her. Human behavior is often confusing --"

"And Mr. Friedmann's especially so," T'Pau said. "It is difficult to determine his loyalties. I find him quite unpredictable. He is an adept liar...it would be good if we had something that we could use to ensure his cooperation."

Sarek tilted his head. "I am still working on it."

T'Pau nodded at him. "I understand your difficulties." She tilted her head. "So was it at the observation deck that the altercation occurred?"

Sarek was not shocked that she knew. Police reports were public record on Terra.

"No," he replied. "It was in the lobby on the same floor. I exited the lift to see Mr. Ethridge pinning Ms. Grayson against a table about to strike her. I intervened and called security."

It was the logical thing to do. To have watched and not intervened in the situation between Jason and Amanda would have made him an accomplice.

"It will most likely be in the news tomorrow, Sarek. We will have to see how the humans react to it -- obviously we cannot afford more negative publicity. But your behavior was completely logical. Is there anything else that you can tell me about the evening?"

Sarek looked down. "Nothing specifically about the evening. However..." He looked up at the elder. "As you noted, we have been receiving a great deal of negative publicity of late. Perhaps it is time to go on the offensive?"

T'Pau tilted her head. "You have suggestions?"

Sarek described Amanda's ideas to T'Pau, never saying the ideas were his, or hers -- just that they were...ideas.

When he was done T'Pau said nothing for 3.5 seconds. "You are doing surprisingly well at this, Sarek."

"Pardon?" asked Sarek.

T'Pau didn't answer his question. Instead she said, "I have heard similar ideas from T'Zena as well as several of the Consular Generals on Earth. I agree, but there are more conservative members in the High Command who will not approve of such unorthodox methods. Still...the current situation is unsustainable..."

T'Pau tilted her head and regarded him. "Sarek, on any foreign world one must make adaptations to the ways of the locals, you must seek to know them and understand them. But to know them does not mean you become them. You've done well this evening...but do not forget you are Vulcan, not human. To forget your heritage would not only be dangerous to your people...it would be dangerous to Earth's as well. But I'm sure you realize that."

Sarek suddenly remembered his desire to kill, maim and cause pain. Emotions ran deep in his race. T'Pau had once fought to restore logic when Vulcans had begun to shrug off the teachings of Surak. Had she known the same rage during her struggles?

"Understood, Elder." He bowed his head.

x x x

Amanda's parents called. Her mother was perhaps more teary about the incident than Amanda was. Her father was ready to go on the warpath, as were her brothers.

"Someone should knock that boy's lights out!" her father said. One of her brothers added something to the effect of 'permanently.'

"Vulcan nerve pinch did the job; don't worry, Dad," Amanda said, trying not to cry -- not at the incident--her mother's crying made her want to cry. Her mother just wanted her to have a little romance in her life...

Never accept dates from parents again. Too much pressure to be nice.

It was midday when Amanda heard Carrie exclaim from the living room, "That fucker!"

Amanda went in to see what had raised Carrie's ire.

Walking into the main room, she saw Jason and his father, Senator Ethridge, on the news. Jason was speaking, _"I just want to extend my heartfelt apologies to Ms. Grayson. It is now obvious to me that I have a serious problem, one that I can no longer ignore. I am voluntarily checking myself into --"_

Carrie hit the mute button. "Crap. Now if you try to press charges he's probably going to get away with just a slap on the wrist...look at where his dad's standing, Amanda. He looks like he's holding a gun to his kid's back. Not that I would blame him."

Amanda raised an eyebrow. It did look like the Senator was holding a gun to Jason's back...figuratively, if not literally. She sighed. This reminded her that she did want to talk to a lawyer.

Carrie turned the sound back on. _ "...I do believe that in the end this experience will make me stronger. Again, I apologize to Ms. Grayson, but I fully accept that she may never be able to forgive me. Thank you."_

"Little spoiled brat," Carrie said. "That was actually effective."

Amanda felt herself go cold. It _was_ effective...her stomach did a nauseous flip flop. Jason obviously had a career in acting or politics cut out for him.

One more unusual thing happened on Sunday.

Amanda's comm rang. She answered it in visual mode.

"Sarek?" His name came out as a question. She was surprised. Sarek never called. He sent emails and then they would meet, talk in Vulcan for about an hour, and then he would relate events from work, the media, or Terran movies and finish with a curt order to "Explain."

He blinked. "Indeed, it is me, Sarek. Is your view screen malfunctioning, Amanda? I can see you --"

"No, I can see you." He was sitting on the floor in the lotus position, wearing what looked a lot like pajamas. Meditation garb perhaps? He mentioned Vulcans meditated every day. "What's up?" she asked.

He looked upwards and opened his mouth, but she cut him off. "You know what I mean. Stop teasing."

Sarek turned back to the screen. "I merely called to inquire about your well-being."

"I'm fine. I'm not made of glass you know." After her talk with her parents she did not feel like any more emotional conversations. "How about you? Did you manage to make it through the rest of the night without any more altercations or run-ins with green women?"

"Does talking to my superior on Vulcan count?" He held up his hand and examined it. "We aren't green, precisely, but we do have a definite olive tinge around the edges."

"You didn't get in trouble, did you, Sarek?" Amanda asked, suddenly worried.

"No, I did not. My actions were entirely logical. There was some concern about negative publicity, but I have scanned news reports in over one hundred Terran localities and most everything has been quite factual in regards to my intervention. Although -- your universal translators could use some work..."

Amanda raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Why, what did you find?"

"This is from the Albanian Daily Plate of Nourishment, Amanda....At least that is how the universal translator interprets the journal's title." Sarek picked up a PADD and began to read. "Ethridge was disabled by a Roman God of Inferno..."

Amanda laughed. Yes, their universal translators still needed a lot of work. And Albanian wasn't even an _alien_ language. "It's too bad it would be illogical to be flattered, Sarek..."

x x x

Her house was dark when they came back from the lecture on comparative fetal development in Vulcans and Humans. Sarek waited for her to enter the key code. She checked the readout screen -- it confirmed what she already knew. Her roommate Carrie was not home.

Before...this is where they would part...but this wasn't before, was it?

Amanda entered her pin and heard the door lock disengage. Taking a breath she turned to Sarek. It's not like he would have any expectations. "Would you like to come in, just for some tea...until my roommate comes home?"

"You need rest," Sarek said.

It was true. She had only slept two hours the night before...three the night before that...she hadn't hadn't slept through the night since...Amanda swallowed. It was over. It was the past.

She knew there were dark circles under her eyes, her movements were slower than normal, and she'd been dropping things all evening...but...

"I won't be sleeping anytime soon," she said. Raising an eyebrow she added, "Come on in. I promise I won't bite."

Sarek's mouth opened as though he were going to say something. But then he just tilted his head. "Very well."

In the kitchen she picked up the teapot.

"May I?" Sarek asked, reaching out a hand.

"But you're not wearing your butler uniform," Amanda protested.

"I do not have a witty rejoinder for that, so I will just ask you for the teakettle...Madam," Sarek said, hand still outstretched, voice as dry as toast. Amanda didn't protest.

"So did you enjoy the lecture, Sarek?" Amanda asked.

"I did. It is surprising was how little human embryogenesis differs from Vulcan. Granted, the organs are shifted, but the endoderm, mesoderm and ectoderm develop in the same way...after six billion years of separate evolution...it is..."

"Odd?" asked Amanda, leaning against a counter.

"Fascinating."

Amanda closed her eyes for a moment.

"Amanda?"

"I'm just resting my eyes."

"You need sleep, Amanda."

"I know, but I won't sleep. Were you saying something?"

The kettle started to boil. Sarek turned off the burner and began to fill two waiting mugs. When had he gotten out mugs and put tea bags in?

"I just asked you if it was a commonly held belief if the first three months of Human life qualifies as the continuation of fetal development -- and if you thought this was an adaptation for Human lack of telepathy."

Amanda blinked. "What? Oh, yeah. I guess we have to come out early so we can start learning -- but Vulcans can spend that time tucked away in the safety of Mom since they can be stimulated telepathically. Makes sense."

"Please sit down, I'll bring you your tea."

This time Amanda didn't protest. She ambled into the living room and sat down at the corner of the couch. Sarek followed her a few moments later. Handing her her tea, he seated himself on the arm chair next to her.

"A query?" he said.

"Sure," said Amanda, holding her mug up to her face to enjoy the steam. It was still too hot for her to sip, although she noticed Sarek had no trouble imbibing the scorching hot water.

"You know you need sleep. But you do not sleep. I do not understand," Sarek said.

Taking a deep breath of steam Amanda said, "As soon as I get into bed I start reviewing everything that happened that night." She knew he'd understand which night she was referring to. "Everything I did wrong. Everything I should have done...and then I think of what might have happened...Don't tell me it's illogical; I know it's illogical. But I can't help it...my brain just wanders off on tangents, and the tangents keep me awake.

"And I need sleep. And I want to sleep. But the more I want it and the more I need it the harder it is to reach. I can literally feel my nerves buzzing...And it is making life very difficult. My students are acting up and I don't have the energy to discipline them...And I almost got run over by a shuttle bus today because I was lost in a fog and didn't see it coming." She leaned back against the cushions of the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"This constitutes...a health risk..." Sarek said softly.

"Well, yeah, especially if I get run over by a shuttle bus," said Amanda.

"It is acceptable under the precepts of Surak that I offer my aide in helping you sleep," Sarek said.

Amanda's eyes went wide. What was he suggesting? If he were a human male she knew what he'd be suggesting. Sitting bolt upright she looked over at Sarek. He was sipping his tea. No. It was Sarek.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I cannot only read thoughts and feelings, I can project," he said looking into his mug as though there was something particularly interesting at the bottom. "When we re-teach our young to meditate, we often must calm their minds before they can calm themselves. I have assisted my cousins in mediation upon occasion. I suspect that the same technique could help you sleep."

"Re-teach?"

"Meditation comes easily to Vulcan infants. But we lose the ability if we are not mentored as we grow older. Meditation is an essential part of maintaining our emotional control," Sarek said.

Amanda remembered him saying that before. "So, you'd mind meld with me...or something?"

Everyone had heard of mind melds. They sounded a little scary...she wasn't sure she'd want that. Even for sleep...which was currently more appealing to her than all the gold pressed latinum on the Ferengi homeworld.

"No, that would be needlessly invasive," said Sarek, still staring into his mug. "But I would touch your psi points and project calm."

Oh, Hell...it was less embarrassing than having him read her attraction to him in dance class. And since...that night...her libido hovered around negative ten, so it's not likely he'd pick up any embarrassing, inappropriate or irrelevant attraction from her. "Sounds better than drugs," she said.

Sarek finally turned to look at her. "I would imagine so."

Shrugging, Amanda leaned her head closer and said, "Do your damnedest." Her expectations were zero.

Sarek tilted his head, probably at the expression. Then he straightened. "May I have your mug please."

Amanda handed it over and he placed it on the coffee table in front of them. And then without further ceremony he reached over and put two fingers near her temples and cheek. Amanda let her eyes close.

For a moment she felt nothing, and then those familiar fingers -- too hot and very dry, were on her face. The tiniest bit of concern flickered in her conscious...but was immediately replaced by warmth. Peace. Safety.

Amanda felt her jaw loosen. She hadn't realized she had been clenching it. Every muscle in her body twitched, as though they were tiny springs that had just been sprung. For some reason her mind was filled with a vision of a pool of water. She always found water soothing...did Sarek put that image there, or was that her something her mind did?

She felt warm. Comfortable. Relaxed. And for the first time in what seemed like forever she felt completely safe. "That's nice, Sarek. I wonder if it will work?" she mumbled. Or maybe she just dreamed saying that.

x x x

Opening her eyes Amanda found herself still in the living room, in the clothes she had worn the night before. Her duvet was over her, and Carrie was gently nudging her shoulder. "Hey, it's time for you to get up for work," her roommate said.

Pulling herself upright, Amanda said, "What happened?"

"Well, the weirdest thing happened last night," Carrie said, suddenly somewhat coy. "I came home and found a Vulcan sitting in our living room sipping tea with you fast asleep. He said you had 'requested his presence until my arrival.'"

Carrie blinked. "It was kind of cute and sweet in a weird way....but I guess he's alien and allowed to be weird. Anyway, since we both know you haven't been sleeping well lately, and you were sleeping so peacefully, we decided to let you sleep on the couch. I put your duvet over you and showed your Vulcan to the door."

Crossing her arms, Carrie gave Amanda a small smile and said nothing.

Raising an eyebrow Amanda said, "What? He's just a friend."

"Nice friend," said Carrie.

"Hmmmm...yeah," said Amanda, rubbing her eyes. She felt better than she had in...well...since before that night. "I guess so."

It was a pleasant realization. She felt certain somehow she'd see more of Sarek now; and that they would be more friendly. And...

She blinked. A flicker of her lost libido?

...And then the next day Sarek disappeared.

**A/N:**  
To my British friends. I think in the U.S. 'teakettle' and 'teapot' are almost indistinguishable...but I'll change the previous chapter. You would, after all, know more on that matter than a Yank.

Maddie, I hope this explains why T'Zena hasn't been on the warpath (but she will be as soon as she gets the go ahead!)

Notice how Sarek didn't lie…but didn't exactly tell the truth, either? If you were mildly entertained, please leave a review! Its the only way fanfic authors and our overworked betas get paid.


	19. Diverted

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom  
**  
Diverted**

Sarek had an appointment to keep after the lecture with Amanda. His appointment with the space station where the Vulcan Embassy ship was docked was at 0200.

But he had been too concerned with her well being to go home and meditate. He wasn't particularly perceptive when it came to gauging human emotional and psychological states -- so the fact that even he could tell she was in distress was deeply troubling.

Now as he waited on the transporter pad for his turn for beam up, he reviewed the events of a few hours before.

Touching minds, especially with deliberation, was always intimate...but he'd had the power to ease her discomfort -- at least for a while.

So he'd offered. And she'd accepted.

Amanda's eyes had closed. For a moment, Sarek had hesitated, centered himself.

Reaching his hand out to Amanda's psi points Sarek found the familiar coolness beneath his fingers. His mind filled instantly with tension, energy, fear, remorse and shame that were not his own. He was sure if he'd had a blood work-up he would have found her adrenaline and cortisol levels elevated. All reasons for concern.

And then there was what wasn't there.

Normally when Sarek's shields slipped while in physical contact with Amanda, there was a small spark of attraction in the background . He'd begun to think of it as an integral part of her --probably of humans in general. Sarek suspected it had nothing to do with him in particular, rather it was part of the human condition. Human brains seemed wired to seek out mates constantly, a sad consequence of a lack of the ability to mentally bond.

But that spark in Amanda was completely gone. In a Vulcan it would not have troubled him. But in a human -- it seemed like a vital part of her might have been extinguished.

He didn't have enough knowledge of human psychology of trauma to analyze her emotions. He could only give her sleep. Letting peace and calm flow from him, he saw her muscles tense and relaxed. He pulled away when he felt nothing but calm between them. And then he watched with satisfaction as Amanda's head fell to the pillow at the corner of the couch.

Sitting back he had regarded her for a minute. She looked small and delicate and...

He had realized where his mind was going. It was not helpful to himself or her. He had turned away.

She and her roommate had left her asleep on the couch. Was she still sleeping now?

A voice came over the intercom. "Mr. Sarek, please report to beam up point three."

x x x

It was 0155 when Sarek arrived at the space station where the Vulcan Embassy ship was docked for his appointment with the records department.

"So that you know," the clerk said through the security glass pane, "for security purposes we are required to scan any data storage devices that you use in the course of your..." she looked down at her PADD, "...personal investigation..."

Sarek tilted his head. "I have not brought any such devices with me. I will simply peruse your records and commit what I need to memory, thank you."

She stared at him. "Huh." She pressed a few buttons and the door to the records storage area opened.

As Sarek scanned the space station records, he compared them to his memories of the Embassy records.

He was not investigating the mysterious miscellaneous medical expenses from three years ago. That would be...illogical. T'Pau had said it didn't concern him. Instead he investigated the mysterious miscellaneous medical expenses from eight years ago.

He cross-checked the Vulcan Embassy ship's manifests from the space station with trip records from the Embassy's records. There was one trip that was unaccounted for.

Eight years ago the Vulcan Embassy ship had left the space station and headed west in Earth's orbit and then returned to dock forty-eight hours later. The Embassy vessel was not outfitted for research, and Vulcans did not partake in 'sightseeing' trips--it was not logical to seek stimulation for stimulation's sake...so what had been the purpose of this trip?

The space station kept records of all transporter activity between Earth and ships in its dock. Eight hominids had been transported from the Vulcan Embassy to the ship -- this was enough to justify taking a shuttle unless time was of the essence. There was no record of the hominids beaming back down to Earth. It was possible that after their mission was complete they had taken a shuttle back. It would have been far less expensive.

So Sarek needed to see where the ship had gone. The question was how. If there had been transporter use during the ship's voyage, he could find it in the Earth-wide transporter records in Lisbon. A shuttle might also have been used. There would have been communication with one of Earth's air traffic control centers -- but the level of traffic would be immense. He would investigate Earth-wide transporter records first.

His internal alarm went off. He needed to beam back to Earth and prepare for work.

x x x

That morning at the office Sarek's attention was diverted by a recently translated article from the Haaretz Daily. The article was about a team of scientists in Tel Aviv who had successfully created a Betazed-Human hybrid. The scientific team was led by a Vulcan, a Professor Nivack, and a human, a Doctor Al-Mazroui.

Their work had just been published in one of Sarek's preferred scientific journals, but he was finding this 'fluff' piece rather interesting. Hybridization was something not studied on Vulcan -- it was deemed illogical, since individuals created this way would be unable to reproduce without technological intervention and were, therefore, biological dead ends. However, Nivack and Al-Mazroui had managed to create a hybrid who was fertile -- and this was the truly remarkable part, able to reproduce with both Betazeds and Humans.

There were several other hybridization pairs the team thought would be successful: Human-Klingon, Betazed-Klingon, Betazed-Vulcan and Human-Vulcan.

The Human in the pair was Moslem. Interestingly, she believed that her religion sanctified her choice of study. According to Al-Mazroui; _"As it is written, If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you...I believe that the test is for Humans, Vulcans, Betazeds, Klingons, and other sentient beings of the universe to not just coexist, but to perfect one another. I see no way in which my faith contradicts my --"_

"Hello, Sarek."

Sarek looked up from his monitor. It was Josef.

"May I help you?" Sarek asked.

"I was just wondering if you've happened to have seen Amanda in the last week, and how she is doing," Josef asked. He moved as though he was going to push his glasses up his nose in that irritating way, and then abruptly stopped. He winced and delicately moved his collar away from his neck instead -- as though there was something there causing him physical discomfort...Josef had exhibited similar movements the Monday after the Federation event.

"I have seen her," Sarek said. He had no wish to divulge Amanda's mental state. He looked at where Josef was still gingerly fingering the collar around his neck. Josef had asked him a personal query. What was the human expression about turnabout being fair play? Sarek knew something about the sexual proclivities of a certain green acquaintance of them both and had a hypothesis.

"Have you seen that Orion acquaintance of yours lately, Josef?"

Josef blinked. "Tirissa? She is a lovely girl. Fascinating insights on macro-economics. I saw her last night, actually, at the pub on my way home from work. Did you get a chance to meet her last week?"

Was Josef engaging in relations with an Orion while simultaneously pursuing Amanda? Sarek decided not to answer his question. Instead he said, "You appear to be in some physical discomfort this morning."

Josef's eyes narrowed. "See you at the meeting later today, Sarek."

"What meeting?" Sarek asked.

"Check your email," Josef said, stepping away.

x x x

"We have just been tasked with coming up with ideas for media events that will help combat the negativity in the Terran media of late," T'Zena said later that afternoon in the conference hall. Most of the staff, Vulcan and human, were there. T'Zena had referred to it as a 'brainstorming session.'

Many opinions were voiced. Most of the humans were adamant about having Vulcans talk back to the media. There were also suggestions to highlight some of the recent progress in research Vulcans had made together. Since no one else mentioned it, Sarek suggested Amanda's idea of staging a reunion between former service members. Several of the humans in the group's eyes went wide at Sarek when he said it. Perhaps it was not a good idea? Amanda was only one individual, hardly an adequate sample size and...

"An interesting idea," said T'Zena. "A large scale reunion would make the biggest impact...however it will take time to plan. We need something to capture the media's attention immediately while we work on a larger media event. Ms. Nakamura, you recently translated a story about a Japanese gentleman who served at New Gallipoli."

Ms. Nakamura sat up straight. "Yes...he wanted to go to Vulcan to visit his Vulcan friend, but it was too expensive, and by the time he had accumulated the credits he was too sick...and you know how long it takes for Vulcans to get permission from High Command to travel for tourism..."

Vulcan took careful track of all of its people who left planet and required everyone to seek permits for travel -- for their own safety, of course. Obtaining a permit for diplomatic, educational or scientific purposes was quite easy. For tourism, however...

T'Zena nodded. "I suspect it is just the sort of sentimental story that the media will..." she tilted her head, "fall over." There were murmurs of assent from the room.

Turning to Selenick, one of her Vulcan aides, T'Zena said, "You will get that Vulcan permission to travel, Selenick..."

x x x

Sarek was in his office. It had taken him a while to piece together what T'Zena meant by a story the media would 'fall over.' He believed she intended to use the human media's appetite sentimentality against the foes of Vulcan on Earth.

Was it right to use another culture's illogical behaviors against them? Sarek thought it skirted the line -- certainly as Vulcans their job was to model logical behavior. When he suggested that Vulcan arrange meetings between Vulcan and Human veterans, he thought of it more out of the purpose of education -- not sensationalism.

Reading the file on the Japanese veteran, Sarek was interrupted.

"Sarek."

He looked up from his monitor to see T'Zena silhouetted in his doorway. She was very beautiful. And appropriate. He took a deep breath. To be unbonded was a terrible thing.

"Yes, Ambassador," he replied.

"Was that your idea, to reunite Human and Vulcan veterans, or someone else's?" she asked.

"It was someone else's," Sarek said.

She did not ask who. Tilting her head she said, "You recognized it as being worth mentioning; very interesting." She said nothing for a moment, merely regarded him. "Do you play chess, Sarek?"

Had her time on Earth caused her to engage in rhetorical questioning?

"Yes, I..."

And suddenly his vision blurred. T'Zena wasn't T'Zena -- she was T'Yavi. A life was flashing before his eyes...T'Yavi's life. Visions swirled through his mind, too quickly to analyze -- the swirling faded. There was blackness. And then it was just Sarek and T'Zena in his office. But something had changed. Sarek's mind felt...healed. It was as though something that had resided on the edge of his consciousness, like a ringing in his ears he couldn't shake, had gone. And now that it had vanished, he knew how much it had been irritating him.

For a moment he felt relief, but it was quickly replaced by a terrible weight of knowledge.

"Sarek?" T'Zena said.

T'Yavi...was dead. He was sure of it. "I am afraid I must begin immediate preparations to return to Vulcan," Sarek said looking up at her.

"I grieve with thee," T'Zena said. She was Vulcan. She understood what his sudden declaration meant.

Sarek nodded. And then he was struck by a thought that nearly made his breath catch. It might make it even more difficult to find a bond mate. He found he didn't care. And this time he would make choices before they were made for him.

"There is a child that may fall into my custody," he said standing up. "Who do I speak to about making suitable arrangements?"

**A/N:**  
I think that Sybock coming to live with Sarek *before* he married Amanda is actually canon. But a lot of Sarek's relationships before Amanda are vague at Memory Alpha. Hooray for artistic license...ummm...but maybe I should have made Sarek live with T'Yavi for 7 years one more pon farr before they split...I'm probably testing people's tolerance for melodrama (Did I mention I don't write outlines? Notes had no idea I was going to pull this).

If you were mildly entertained, please review! It's how Fan Fiction authors and their betas get paid!


	20. Reactions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Amanda or the Federation**

**Special thanks to my beta, Notes from the Classroom**

**Reactions**

Amanda was in the area of the Vulcan Embassy usually used for exhibits. A large screen was mounted to the wall. She recognized members of the Embassy staff -- Human and Vulcan. But no Sarek.

_"...after thirty years apart Vulcan Tibock and his Human friend Hiroshi have finally had a chance to reunite...sadly, under circumstances no less dire than the ones they faced together at New Gallapol."_ the announcer said.

Amanda's eyes went wide. Sarek told her that he had mentioned her idea of a reunion between service members to his superior. But it was still a shock to see it on screen. Seeing Josef and T'Zena, Amanda headed in their direction. Maybe they'd know where Sarek was.

The scene showed the inside of a hospital and a small, older Japanese man on a bed. _"...You see Hiroshi is suffering from pancreatic cancer. Doctors say that due to the lateness of its discovery his chance of survival is only twenty-two percent..."_

The camera showed a middle-aged Vulcan that must have been Tibock approaching the small man. Amanda noticed Tibock's clothing didn't appear as formal or as expensive as Sarek's. It gave the Vulcan a rougher appearance, despite the typical neat bowl haircut. She noticed his skin was also slightly greener.

Bowing his head towards Hiroshi in Japanese style, Tibock and sat down at an adjacent chair.

The scene shifted -- a change in light made it appear as though many hours had gone by. Hiroshi and Tibock were sitting together facing the camera, Hiroshi still in bed.

Tibock was speaking, his voice perfectly even, but his Standard sounded heavily accented._ "We were aboard a Klingon ship and had been in engaged in phaser fire and hand to hand combat for exactly ninety- seven minutes and thirty-nine seconds. I was badly wounded. I did not think I would survive and asked Hiroshi to abandon me, but he refused and instead dragged me onto one of the Klingon's own escape pods. He was able to launch us away from the ship before it self-destructed."  
_  
As Tibock spoke, Hiroshi's head bowed. He nodded occasionally. When the Vulcan finished, Hiroshi looked up. He looked incredibly frail...his eyes wet. _"What Tibock leaves out is that the reason he was wounded was because..."_ The little man shook and there were definitely tear stains on his cheeks. _"...because he had taken a blow from a Klingon bat'leth for me."_

Amanda's own eyes started to tear. She looked around; most of the humans were reaching for tissues. Nearby, Josef shook his head. Catching her eye briefly, he nodded in her direction. Amanda walked up beside him.

The scene on the screen shifted again. Now they were in Shi'kahr on Vulcan. _"This tender scene of reunion comes just as relations with Vulcans and Humans are at their most tense. Brent Tucker our correspondent on Vulcan, has more."_

_"Thank you, Lisa. As you know, Senator Ethridge recently introduced a bill that would halt food exports to Vulcan for environmental reasons. It has been confirmed by Vulcan High Command that they have already begun rationing food here."_

_"And how are ordinary Vulcans reacting to this, Brent?"_

_"Well Lisa, for once we were able to ask..."_

The scene shifted to a Vulcan woman with a little Vulcan girl in her arms. _"Humans and Vulcans have been partners for over one hundred and sixty years," _said the woman.

The little girl in her arms said. _"To worry would be illogical."_ And then the little girl looked directly at the camera and tilted her head. Her face was...undeniably cute...A small perfect pixie.

"Senator Ethridge's bill is going to go down in flames," Amanda said with grim satisfaction.

"I'd say so, yes," Josef responded. Someone turned off the screen. Humans and Vulcans were buzzing in conversation throughout the room.

Turning to Amanda T'Zena said, "It was your idea for Vulcan and Human veterans to meet, I believe."

Amanda's eyebrows went up and she smiled nervously. "I did mention the idea to Sarek."

Amanda felt particularly unaccomplished next to T'Zena -- Sarek never made her feel this way. Sarek was a junior diplomat, practically unknown, and always putting his foot in his mouth. T'Zena was a senior diplomat, well known, and she always said the right thing -- at least in front of the cameras. And she was beautiful.

" It was a very good idea. Thank you." T'Zena nodded at Amanda and then at Josef and made her way towards the stairs.

"How are you, Amanda?" Josef asked.

Amanda looked up at Josef -- Mr. Honorable Mention, and felt...absolutely nothing. "I'm fine. Have you seen or heard anything from Sarek?"

Josef pushed his glasses up his nose. "I heard he had to return to Vulcan for family issues."

"I haven't seen him in two weeks," Amanda said. "I got an email that was exactly one sentence long saying that he had to return to Vulcan for some family issues and then -- nothing. Now I'm wondering if I somehow managed to offend his delicate Vulcan sensibilities!"

Should she have said no when he offered to help her sleep? Was there some invisible line they'd crossed?

"Is he your friend?" Josef asked, staring at the now-blank monitor.

That wasn't the response she'd expected. "Yes...yes...I guess so..."

"Then take him at his word." He looked down at her. "He probably just doesn't want to bother you with his troubles."

Amanda's brow furrowed. "So who does he tell his troubles to--his non-friends?"

Josef chuckled. "He tells no one...well, perhaps family."

x x x

"...On the contrary, Mother, I think that I am the logical choice now that T'Yavi's family has released custody of him to our clan." Sarek stood in the red light of the westward facing window. Vulcan was infused with red light...warmth...

"You do not have time to care for him, Sarek," his mother said, standing a meter from him, staring at the ground. She used logical arguments...but through the tenuous family bond they shared, Sarek could feel her sadness. She did not want to let her only grandchild go to Earth -- away from warmth to green and damp and cold. Away from her.

"Nor do you, Mother. Whomever he remains with, his primary care will be a nurse. I have brought T'Lana with me to meet you and quell your reservations -- she has lived on Earth since the first Embassy was established there and has been caring for the children of Vulcan diplomats since then. There is also a creche at the Embassy for emergencies, and a Vulcan school in San Francisco when he comes of age."

Sarek took a step closer to her. "Mother, you and T'Pau have decided that I should remain on Earth a while longer --"

The circumstances around T'Yavi's death were vague...evidence indicated suicide, but she'd died among the V'tosh ka'tur...it was hard to say. T'Pau and his mother both felt that Sarek should remain on Earth, he supposed until all controversy had subsided, all mysteries were resolved.

"We both know that my position is for the most part...ceremonial," Sarek said. "I am far less taxed in my duties than you are at the agricultural ministry."

His mother tilted her head. "It seems of late your position has been more than ceremonial, Sarek. Information you provided was utilized by T'Pau to sway the more conservative members of the High Command. You seem to have some aptitude in...diplomacy."

Sarek took a breath. To be insulted would be an emotional response, but he could still weigh the pros and cons of a statement. Aptitude at diplomacy seemed to be the same as aptitude with subterfuge.

His mother looked up at him. No doubt she could feel his ambivalence. "If it serves Vulcan interests, Sarek...it is logical."

Sarek tilted his head. Wasn't the point of sending him to Earth because some of T'Zena's actions skirted the line of logic -- though they were ostensibly in Vulcan's interest?

It was not the focus of this conversation. "Should I send for T'Lana so you might judge her qualifications for yourself?"

His mother nodded.

x x x

Amanda wandered through the trails of the botanical gardens in Golden Gate Park, mentally mulling over the words of the lawyer she'd spoken to a few days before.

She'd been told that pressing charges against Ethridge was something of a moot point. He'd checked himself into a clinic that treated men who battered women. He'd publicly apologized. Although the lawyer said that Ethridge would probably be found guilty, his time in the clinic would almost certainly count towards any jail time he normally would have received. He'd most likely get off with a slap on the wrist and community service...and Jason had already committed himself to fulfilling community service as soon as he left the clinic anyway.

Maybe he'd be reformed in the clinic? Amanda had no idea. At least the altercation had made the papers -- any other girl who went out with Jason would know what he'd tried to pull...

If Sarek hadn't been there...

Stop right there, Amanda. You don't know what would have happened. You weren't going to go easily...

She tried to think of other things...it was a beautiful sunny Saturday and almost the beginning of the break before summer school kicked in. It was warm enough that she didn't have to wear a jacket...

She tried to let herself just be in the moment, let her mind lose itself in the crunch of gravel under her feet.

And then from along a side trail to the right she caught the sound of a voice she hadn't heard in over four weeks. There were some unrecognizable words in Vulcan and then in Standard. "It is an example of _Polystichum munitum_, Sybok."

Sarek?

Amanda bolted down the path in the direction the voice had come from.

"It is a type of evergreen fern native to the west coast of Terra's North American continent. Although they reproduce via spores like fungus -- "

Amanda halted; in front of her was Sarek squatting on the ground, a Vulcan toddler in his arms. Standing up quickly with the child he said in Vulcan, _"Do not eat it, Sybok."_

The Vulcan did not even seem to notice she was there. Amanda swallowed and waited until Sarek had removed the green frond from the toddler's hands.

"Sarek," she said.

Sarek looked up at her...the toddler looked at the green leaves of fern Sarek had just thrown to the ground.

"Amanda," Sarek said.

He said nothing more. Just stood perfectly still. The toddler looked up in her direction, tilted his head, and met Amanda's eyes.

Amanda took a step towards Sarek and the child. "He's adorable, Sarek..."

The child held out two fingers towards Amanda as she stepped closer. Amanda was about to reach out to him, then stopped and looked at Sarek. "Is this okay?"

"It is acceptable to touch a child's fingers if they initiate the contact." He looked down at the toddler. "Which he has...rather rapidly..."

Amanda reached out and touched the fingers; there was the tiniest little flicker of electricity, which made Amanda laugh...the toddler pressed his fingers against hers more firmly. Amanda felt...happy? No, wait, the child was happy...

She blinked and looked up at Sarek. "Is he telepathic already?"

"Yes, of course," Sarek said, wrapping one hand around so he was touching two fingers of the toddler's opposite hand.

Amanda laughed and felt another flicker of happiness. "You are so cute...all eyes, eyebrows and ears!" She resisted the urge to reach out and touch one of those ears. She turned to look up at Sarek; he was studying the child's face with great concentration.

"So are you borrowing him?" Amanda asked.

"Pardon?" asked Sarek, turning towards her.

"Are you borrowing this little guy from someone?" Amanda said, her fingers still on the child's. "Is he your nephew or a friend's child or something?"

Sarek tilted his head and looked down.

Had she said something wrong? She shuffled her feet a moment. Was she the one inserting her foot into her mouth now?

"No..." said Sarek. "He is mine."

**A/N:**  
Thank you for reading! If you were mildly entertained please review! It is the only way Fan Fiction authors and our betas get paid.


	21. Unsatsifactory

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek or Amanda.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Unsatisfactory  
**  
"Yours?" Amanda asked, her brows furrowing a bit.

Hadn't he just said that? "Yes, mine."

Her face relaxed and then she smiled. "You've adopted a child?"

Moving his fingers away from Sybok's, Sarek did his best to quell his own discomfort. He did not want Sybok to feel his ill-ease.

"No, he is my biological offspring," Sarek said. What was done was done. The past could not be helped.

"Oh, I see. He's beautiful," she said, looking at Sybok. And then she looked down at the ground, her brow furrowing again. "How did I not know this?"

Human memory was poor. Sarek sought to clarify. "Because I did not tell you."

Looking up at him she tilted her head. She had an odd expression on her face that he could not read. "But why didn't you --"

Sarek looked down at the ground. Of course, she was curious, and human...she did not fully comprehend the impropriety of the situation. "We may speak of it later," he said. He would not speak of this in front of Sybok.

Her eyes got wide and she nodded. "So what are you doing here?"

He blinked. "I am trying to familiarize Sybok with the local fauna." He put his son down. "We are reviewing Latin and Vulcan names, as well as ideal climate and means of --"

Sybok immediately plucked a leaf from a fern and tried to stuff it in his mouth. Sarek stopped the small fist just in time.

"How old is he, Sarek?" Amanda asked.

"He is now thirteen months and --"

"Is he talking, yet?" Amanda asked.

"Why would he be talking?" Sarek asked. "He is telepathic."

Amanda kneeled down next to Sybok. "I bet you would like to see the fish pond. Do you like fish?" She punctuated this question by puckering her lips and opening it with a pop. Sybok mimicked.

"That's right, Sybok! Let's go see the fish!" She made the pucker pop face again. Sybok held out two fingers and Amanda responded with a smile. Looking up at Sarek she said, "It might be more age appropriate. Of course," her smiled diminished a little as she stood up, "I really don't know much about Vulcan children."

Tilting his head, Sarek said, "Not much less than I do, I am sure."

x x x

Sarek noted Sybok seemed more stimulated by the fish pond than by his introduction to the local fauna.

The groundskeeper gave his son tiny fish food pellets and Sybock threw them one by one into the pond. Watching the large specimens of _Cyprinus carpio _lunge and fight for the pellets, Sybok would turn occasionally to Amanda and Sarek and make the pucker pop face.

Eventually, Sybok's movements became more erratic. He started to stamp his feet. "It is almost time for his meditation and nap," Sarek said to Amanda.

He had learned in a few short weeks that to deviate from the meditation sleep routine was to invite disaster. "I must take him home."

As he scooped Sybok up, his son put both hands on Sarek's face and broadcast his anger at being removed from the edge of the pond. From experience Sarek knew if he didn't respond appropriately, Sybok would try to strike him. Vulcan rage started young.

Putting his hand to Sybok's temples, Sarek projected calm and resolve. Sybok did not strike...but he still seethed.

Sarek turned to Amanda; she was watching him with a smile, her eyes wide. "Wow...he's great," she said -- obviously not privy to the emotions Sybok was broadcasting to Sarek. "Pardon my professional curiosity, but I've learned so much about the Vulcan education system, and something about Vulcan children, in the course of my education, but this is the first time I've gotten to meet one. He's amazing!"

Hearing Amanda's voice, Sybok turned in Sarek's arms and held out two fingers. As she responded, Sarek could immediately feel the tension in the tiny Vulcan body subside. He sighed inwardly. He had already noted a disturbing tendency in Sybok to be inordinately interested in young, healthy members of the opposite sex -- Vulcan and Human. T'Lana, Sybok's nurse, said it was normal, but Sarek was seriously questioning whether seven was too late an age to be bonded.

And then Sarek had an inspiration.

"Would you like to have tea with me while he rests, Amanda...in our home?"

Apparently Sybok understood that suggestion. A tiny hand immediately went to Sarek's face and he was hit by a swell of toddler enthusiasm.

Amanda blinked.

Sarek tilted his head. How to assure her his intentions were correct? Ah, yes...

"Do not worry, Amanda. I will not bite."

Sarek looked quickly at his child. It was logical, he supposed, based on T'Yavi's previous behavior...nonetheless, he was still somewhat shocked at the feelings being projected by Sybok.

Sybok was surprised...and basically asking him, 'Why not?'

x x x

Amanda put the teakettle onto boil in Sarek's kitchen. She was glad it was a warm day and she was wearing a short sleeve shirt; Sarek's home was hot.

It was a small house in the Sunset District; he'd told her he'd recently moved to accommodate Sybok. She surveyed the rooms around her...there was almost no furniture. And there were no pictures on the walls. It was expensive to ship freight from Vulcan -- she didn't know if the lack of furniture and decoration was due to this, or just a minimalist aesthetic.

In the living room there was what looked like an incense burner on the floor, and a trunk...and that was it. There were no toys scattered about.

She was filling two mugs just as Sarek entered the kitchen. He had taken off his jacket and was wearing only a light turtleneck sweater above the typical slightly relaxed Vulcan trousers. She'd never seen him in so little clothing. Or his shoulders so loose. Intellectually, she knew he found Earth to be chilly, but seeing him in his home, a bit more relaxed in heat that felt almost sauna-like to her, really drove the point home.

She was happy to see him again was happy to have met Sybok, and happy to be having tea with just Sarek alone in his home; it felt special and right.

...She was also very confused. Handing him a mug she felt the brush of one of his fingers against hers.

He tilted his head slightly at the contact. "You may ask your questions."

She resisted the urge to say, 'Are you sure?' That would imply that he did not mean what he said and would be insulting.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's just, you never told me you had a son, and I'm surprised."

She knew he did not have siblings, that his father had died years ago, that he and his mother spoke to one another about once a month. How could he not tell her this?

"I did not know I would ever have custody. His mother recently died and his family wished to seal their union with mine by giving Sybok to our care. The union between their daughter and me did not go as planned...and they attempted to make amends," Sarek said, gazing into his tea.

Amanda was still confused. "But I thought the woman you bonded with as a child died...was that Sybok's mother?"

"Let us sit down," Sarek said, motioning towards a small table.

They had settled into their chairs for a few moments before Sarek began to speak again. "T'Sala, whom I was bonded with as a child, died just before we were to be married. In order to join our two families, her family chose to have her cousin, T'Yavi, stand in for T'Sala."

"Oh." She tried to put the pieces together. "You lost your bond-mate of fifty-six years but then had to immediately marry someone else..."

Sarek sipped his tea. "It was necessary."

"Necessary? I thought by Surak _necessary_ implied a matter of life and death..." She blinked. "I don't understand...."

Sarek looked down at his mug. He was actually...turning green. The hand on his mug went so tight the mug briefly shook, the hand closer to her was clenched into a fist on the table, and the whites of his knuckles stood out against his olive skin tone. "There is no comparable situation among humans. I cannot explain."

Amanda wanted to push, wanted to pry, wanted an explanation...How could they make him remarry 'immediately'? It sounded so inhumane.

But Sarek wasn't human.

...and they were discussing the death of the person he had been telepathically linked with for fifty-six years. It hurt him.

And something else had gone wrong. He'd lost custody of his child...which meant Sybok's mother had been a single parent. What had he called that? A 'dishonorable situation.'

He had been grieving, had had to remarry right away and it hadn't worked out...after fifty-six years...she'd dated one guy for ten years, and still hadn't moved on after two years on the rebound. Sarek was Vulcan but...

"I'm sorry," she said, filled with sympathy. She reached out a hand and draped it over the fist clenched next to her. "It must have been hard for all of you..." Hard for him. Hard for the woman he married. Hard for Sybok.

Sarek's head turned slowly to where their hands were joined. She froze. You did not touch Vulcans.

She swallowed and withdrew it quickly. "Sorry."

She took a deep breath and changed the subject. "I haven't seen you in a while; I've missed you."

Sarek looked down again.

She touched his hand...then made an emotional comment. She was so never getting invited back to his house again. "I mean, I've missed our conversations," she said quickly. "I feel like my progress in Vulcan has come to a halt...or reversed. You've seen what has happened to my Vulcan manners..." She looked pointedly down at his hand. Sarek followed her gaze and tilted his head.

"And I like explaining Terran culture to you," Amanda said. "It helps me see my culture in a whole new light, seeing it through your eyes."

Sarek raised his eyes to hers and she felt instantly relieved. She had not _completely_ insulted him.

"I have had many occasions in the past few weeks when I would have appreciated your insights," he said. "But Sybok's care takes a great deal more time than I had counted on...his mother was not able to provide him with the stimulation, discipline and bonding time he requires. He is...behind in several respects. I have help, but not every evening or most weekends. I have had to put a number of projects on hold for the time being."

Amanda shrugged. "Well, I don't mind sharing you with Sybok. He is incredibly cute...It is fun comparing him to the human toddlers I've worked with. Heck, I wouldn't mind watching him for you on occasion."

Sarek tilted his head. "Really?"

She took a sip of her tea. "Purely out of professional curiosity." This was actually a partial truth. Although she did think Sybok was terribly cute, she was the only education student she knew who had access to a Vulcan child. She felt positively mercenary. Not that she wouldn't give him the highest quality care, but she would probably bring out every child aptitude test she could get her hands on...Heck, a Vulcan parent would probably appreciate that. She looked over at Sarek.

He was staring in his mug again. "It might be unprecedented. But I do have a rather important investigation I have had to postpone due to conflicts in T'Lana, Sybok's nurse's, scheduling...it wouldn't be for a few more weeks..."

"Well, then I'll come by a few more times, have tea with you...play with Sybok, and you can become comfortable with the idea. And if you're not..." she shrugged and smiled. "I will just attribute it to you being an anxious, neurotic, first time parent and won't take it personally at all." She grinned and winked to let him know she was just teasing.

Tilting his head, Sarek remained silent.

x x x

Making the fish pucker face Sybok held up his hand to Sarek's. Sarek felt Sybok's _want_ clearly through the link.

"Tomorrow, Sybok," Sarek said moving his hand to the small Vulcan's temples and projecting calm, just as he'd done with Amanda.

Sarek watched his son drift into sleep. There was a saying of Surak his parents' groundskeeper once told him, 'Every gift is a burden so never wish for gifts'. Sarek had never been able to find this saying backed up in Surak's writings, but he saw the wisdom of it.

Sybok was a gift and a burden. He was an heir. But more than that he was a chance to fix what Sarek felt partially responsible for breaking. Perhaps if he had pushed harder T'Yavi wouldn't have broken their bond. Perhaps he could have helped her attain emotional control.

Sybok seemed not to have been affected by the death of his mother much at all. T'Lana said it meant there was never a firm parental bond established...he might have difficulty ever developing a firm telepathic bond with anyone. Such children had a tendency to stray towards deviancy. Sarek might be able to prevent that fate if he taught Sybok logic and was able to provide a stable, suitable home environment for the child.

Sybok was also behind in his development of gross and fine motor skills, telepathy, and problem solving -- although T'Lana was more confident he would recover in these areas. Sarek felt satisfaction every time Sybok achieved some new milestone. At the same time, as Sybok struggled to attain each milestone Sarek often found himself mentally unstimulated. It would be better if Sarek had a vocation that he found more intellectually challenging, but he did not, and Sybok took time away from the personal projects and journal reading Sarek did find interesting.

It had been a welcome surprise to bump into Amanda. Even if it had been especially awkward navigating the differences between their cultures at least it had been a challenge. Sarek stared down at the knuckles she'd grazed with her fingers. It had been a human gesture. The only emotion he had felt from her had been sympathy. Her motivations had not been inappropriate.

What was inappropriate was his desire to turn his hand over and let her fingers graze his delicate telepathic pads. The contact through his knuckles was too light--only the feeling at the forefront of her mind was visible...and that was unsatisfactory.

**A/N:**

Reviews are the only way FanFiction authors and our overworked betas get paid. If you were mildly moved and/or entertained please let us know! It helps keep us going!


	22. Logical Reactions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Amanda, Sarek or Sybok**

Special thanks to Notes from the Classroom for being my Beta!  
**  
Logical Reactions**

"Oh, my God, what are you doing up so early? I have to go support my education habit in forty-five minutes, but it's Saturday and you're on summer recess!" Carrie said, pulling her hair back in a pony-tail.

"I'm going to watch Sybok for Sarek today," Amanda said, looking up from where she was reading her PADD while simultaneously wolfing down a piece of toast with peanut butter and sipping a steamy mug of tea with milk.

Straightening her waitress uniform, Carrie asked, "So are you dating Sybok's daddy yet?"

Amanda's piece of toast froze midway to her mouth. She felt her face go warm. "No," she said. She swallowed. "We're just friends."

Carrie snorted.

Amanda took a deep breath. This topic was uncomfortable. "Look," she said, putting down her toast and turning in her chair to look her roommate dead on. "I really haven't been interested in dating anyone lately."

"Which isn't healthy," Carrie said, pouring herself a mug of coffee.

Amanda felt herself go very hot. "Please don't tell me what is healthy regarding my love life. Currently my libido is hovering around zero...I'm just. Not. Interested." The words came out harsher than she had meant them to.

Carrie looked at Amanda, then looked down at her mug. "I'm sorry," she said. "I guess after what happened you're entitled to some time off."

Amanda turned in her chair. She didn't like talking about this...she did sometimes feel a spark of something around Sarek...but nothing that would keep her "up at night." No thoughts of a romantic nature had had kept her up at night since before she'd been slammed against a table on the date from hell. She would be more bothered if it weren't just so damn convenient being asexual. She'd taken on a statistics class over the summer to be prepared for her grad program, and it was easier to focus...

She heard Carrie come up behind her. Slender arms went around her neck and her roommate's cheek touched her own. "I'm really sorry, Amanda. I'm just worried about you."

Patting Carrie's hand, Amanda said, "It's okay."

"What are you reading?" asked Carrie.

"Oh, Sybok's nanny-nurse person T'Lana sent this to me. It's a summary of Sybok's activities from yesterday as well as the goals he's achieved since I last spoke to her."

"You have to read a book before you babysit this man's child...for free?" Carrie said.

Amanda scrolled down the PADD. "This is fascinating, Carrie. I am learning so much about Vulcan child development. T'Lana has been a nanny for over one hundred years. She has watched Human children as well as Vulcan. She's informally educated but knows so much...God...I wish I could mind meld with her. We've recently been discussing Human and Vulcan attachment theories --"

"Umm...I think I've gotta go," said Carrie.

Amanda smirked. "...or I'll put you back to sleep."

"Yep," said Carrie. "I hope you have fun at your babysitting gig, though."

"See you tonight!" Amanda said.

x x x

Sarek was not, as Amanda had teased, an anxious, neurotic parent. He was an attentive parent logically, extremely, concerned for the care of his child. He did not let Amanda watch Sybok on a whim; he hadn't even been sure a human would be capable of caring for a Vulcan child. He had consulted the foremost expert he knew on raising Vulcans among humans -- that was, of course, T'Lana, Sybok's caregiver.

"T'Lana," he said the day after he'd seen Amanda, "you have said that it would be wise for me to have 'backup' child care for instances when you are not available. A human I have some acquaintance with has offered her services. Do you think that it would be acceptable for her to watch Sybok?"

The wizened Vulcan had straightened and turned to face him, her expression carefully neutral beneath her gray locks. "The question you pose is illogical."

"Explain," said Sarek, slightly taken aback by her forthrightness, but nonetheless knowing his place when it came to matters relating to his son.

"I cannot judge the suitability of a human or Vulcan if I have not met that person," T'Lana said.

"It is not unacceptable for a human to care for a Vulcan child?" Sarek asked.

"Of course it is not unacceptable. It has been known to happen. Where do you get such illogical ideas?" said T'Lana.

"I will arrange for you to meet her."

"That is acceptable," said T'Lana, turning back to her tasks.

So when Sarek greeted Amanda on his doorstep at 0600 on a Saturday, he did so only after T'Lana had fully vetted Amanda's suitability as a caregiver. Also, Sarek and Amanda had spent significant time together with Sybok over the past few weeks.

Amanda was an alien, and there were certain aspects of her interaction that Sybok would never experience with a Vulcan. There was the sign language she taught Sybock. And she laughed. Whenever she laughed Sybok would toddle over to try and touch her fingers. It was so pronounced a behavior that Sarek had requested she touch his fingers one time when she was laughing to investigate. It was an interesting experience, decidedly pleasant. T'Lana judged it not harmful as she knew other Vulcan children who 'survived it and grew to be logical adults.'

"Good morning, Sarek!" Amanda said with a thermos of something steaming in one hand and a PADD in another.

"Goodmorning, Amanda; thank you for coming," he said, moving out of the door frame to let her come in. "Sybok is just waking up...Once again I apologize for the early hour. There is a time zone discrepancy between here and --"

"It's okay," she said, stepping into the house and taking off her sweater and shoes. The dress she wore underneath was decidedly un-Vulcan. Short sleeves, body fitting top, loose skirt that fell just below the knee. He knew that on Earth it would be considered quite modest.

He averted his eyes with some effort from her slender arms. Sybok had had a few bad nights in a row -- T'Lana was of the opinion it was teething. At any rate, Sarek had not had enough uninterrupted meditation time.

He put his hands behind his back. "Do you have any questions for me?"

Tapping her PADD Amanda said, "I think T'Lana has pretty much covered it."

She squinted a little and tilted her head, "Maybe you have some questions for me?"

He did have some concerns, human memory being what it was. "Do you have all the emergency numbers?" he said.

"I have the Vulcan Embassy emergency line, and T'Lana's daughter's number programmed to speed dial on my comm." Holding up a wrist with numbers scrawled onto it, she added, "And you will notice I've also written them on my wrist, in the unlikely event that my comm is stolen and there is an emergency."

"Also under no situation let him eat --"

"-- chocolate," said Amanda. "...because it is intoxicating for adult Vulcans, but would completely overwhelm his tiny liver. Also, cinnamon should be avoided because in some Vulcans it diminishes olfactory perception."

Sarek took a breath. "You know his eating and sleep schedule?"

Amanda recited Sybok's schedule to him, held up the PADD, and added, "T'Lana said she has prepared his breakfast and lunch for me already, so you don't need to be concerned. Also, she has listed precisely what he should wear for today's weather conditions."

"And you know my itinerary?" Sarek said.

Amanda nodded. "You will be home, if all goes well, right before his nap-time."

"The transporter station in Lisbon is on average twenty-three minutes and thirty-seven seconds behind schedule," Sarek said.

"We'll be okay," said Amanda.

"It is logical to believe that is the most likely outcome," said Sarek staring at the ground.

"You're welcome to call me when you first arrive in Lisbon, if it makes you feel -- if you wish to verify that all is going well," Amanda said.

Sarek nodded. "I will do that."

Amanda nodded. "It's too bad you can't stay in Portugal longer...I hear Sintra is lovely -- I've always wanted to go."

x x x

It would be impossible for Sarek to review all of the transporter data from a forty-eight hour period in the time he had allotted to him; he needed to download records and take them home.

Although transporter data was technically public, Terran authorities did not make it easy to get. Obviously, such detailed information on the movement of people had the potential for abuse.

Sarek spent more time in security in the transporter record department than he did downloading the data. He underwent a retina scan and had to provide fingerprints. He was assured such information was kept 'strictly confidential.'

A clerk took his data square and plugged it into a drive on a PADD to record exactly what Sarek was investigating. Pressing a few buttons on her screen, she said, "We've tagged the data you're pulling. If this is published online electronically we will know about it. You are also required to inform us if you intend to publish this data in part or in its entirety anywhere in print or electronic format..."

There was a long list of terms and conditions which Sarek duly noted. By the time he left the department, he only had enough time to hop a cab to the transporter depot. His transport was slightly delayed. He could have begun creating a computer program to start sorting his data, but instead went in search of some Port for Amanda in one of the gift shops. He believed it was very Terran to show appreciation for her assistance.

...and he was appreciative. He reached into his pocket and let his hands run over the data square. He hadn't had something this fascinating for his analytical mind to do since Sybok came into the picture.

x x x

After an hour of letting Sybok organize his blocks by color and shape, Amanda took him to the park. It was a beautiful sunny day, warm enough for her to not need a sweater, and for Sybok to only require a light coat and a hat.

She pushed him in a swing for a while -- he loved it, just like a human child, and it was good for development of the nerves responsible for balance in the inner ear. Also, it allowed Amanda a chance to talk with a mother pushing her toddler on a swing nearby...As much as Amanda adored Sybok, toddlers were best enjoyed in the company of fellow adults. Just as she was taking Sybok out of the swing--no easy task...he weighed about three times more than you would expect--the mother next to her gave a short groan.

"Look out for that kid," she said, nodding with her head in the direction of a little human boy who looked like he was about four or five. "He is a bully to the little guys."

"Thanks," said Amanda, taking a mental note to keep an eye on the boy...she noticed his caregiver was already playing with her comm.

Taking a ball out of Sybok's wagon, Amanda engaged the little Vulcan in a game of 'catch,' which was, of course, more a game of 'roll-pickup-drop.' Amanda tried to show Sybok how to throw with two hands. He tried. He didn't succeed...and didn't succeed...and didn't succeed.

...and then he did.

Amanda hadn't really taken into account that Sybok came from a planet with higher gravity. The ball went sailing over her head head and landed in a clump of bushes.

Widening his eyes, Sybok swayed on his feet and made the sign language sign for ball that Amanda had taught him a few weeks earlier.

Taking a quick survey of his position -- flat ground, no kids around--Amanda said, "Don't worry; I'll get it, Sybok." Dashing into the bushes, she grabbed the ball and turned to see Sybok approached by The Bully. In The Bully's hands was a green squirt gun. A very phallic green squirt gun.

The next few moments happened in slow motion. Amanda was wading out of the bushes, ball in a death grip, yelling at the other kid to get away. Some other parents were yelling, too...

...and then the bigger boy opened fire on little unarmed Sybok anyway while laughing maniacally.

Sybok did not yell or cry. He merely looked at the little green, phallic squirt gun...and made a leap of logic.

Pulling down his pants quickly, Sybok grabbed his own little green 'squirt gun'...aimed...and peed.

The little boy with the plastic gun stopped his attack. His eyes got wide.

Running towards Sybok, Amanda came to an abrupt halt. She put a hand to her mouth. Everyone else in the park went silent too; for a moment it was like the parents in the park were all holding a collective breath.

Sybok finished peeing with a flourish...the aggressive little boy's mouth fell open.

...and then the laughing started. It was contagious and Amanda caught it, too. The expression on The Bully's face...the little tiny Vulcan so calm...it was too much. All the parents but one were in stitches.

Picking Sybok up and catching him in a hug, Amanda whispered, "I'd like to tell you how very, very, very wrong that was...but I can't."

A little hand flew to Amanda's temples and she was suddenly flooded with rage...she blinked. Then she put her own hands to Sybok's temple and recalled the look on the other boy's face and the fit of laughter she'd just experienced.

Sybok relaxed. The little hand on Amanda's temple transmitted nothing but pleasant satisfaction.

"We'll never speak of this to your daddy, okay?" said Amanda with a giggle. "Our secret."

The feeling of pleasant satisfaction continued.

x x x

Sarek managed to come home just before Sybok's nap time. He entered the house quietly, not wishing to create any excitement before the little one's time of rest. From Sybok's room he heard Amanda's voice, "And this is a clown fish. It lives in a sea anemone...press here and we can zoom in."

Slipping off his shoes, Sarek made his way quietly up the stairs to Sybok's room and looked in the doorway. His son was sitting on Amanda's lap and she was showing him her PADD, her long slender arms wrapped around Sybok's tiny frame.

"See, all of these fishes live in coral reefs, Sybok. Pretty, aren't they? Maybe someday your daddy can take you to the aquarium." She softly touched her lips to Sybok's head as his son touched his fingers to the PADD.

Even though he was on a cold, alien world, he felt like he was home.

...and although his skin did not burn with the fires of Pon Farr, he felt an emotion he hadn't felt since then -- a swirling black mass of protectiveness, lust, affection, and possessiveness. Looking down at Amanda, he was flooded with a desire to _keep_ her. His vision went dark around the edges, his world coalesced to just him, her, his son...his family.

Exactly three seconds went by. Everything was perfect...and then it was not.

This was not his family. This emotion he felt was inappropriate. She was not Vulcan. He could hurt her physically and mentally.

...but only if he acted on this feeling. Which he would not because of the possible danger to her. He closed his eyes and assessed his mental state to be certain he was not suffering the effects of any hormonal imbalance. He was completely well; he was just...inappropriately and inconveniently...

...words failed him. There was no Vulcan word for the emotion he felt. Agitated, he shifted on his feet. Why was there no word?

Amanda must have heard because she looked up at him. "Sybok, Daddy's home," she whispered in his child's ear.

Sarek tilted his head. In Vulcan in order to be grammatically correct she would have had to say, 'your _father is home.' _Unless, of course, she was his wife. In which case, _'Father is home' _would be acceptable. She did not mean it that way; but he still felt inappropriately pleased.

Sybok reached out two fingers in Sarek's direction. Quelling his feelings, Sarek went forward, kneeled next to Amanda, and pressed two fingers to Sybok's own.

His son was happy...but tired. Sarek could use his nap time for the meditation time he sorely needed. But to meditate would be to face uncomfortable questions he wasn't sure he wanted answered. What did he do with this thing he felt?

He would endeavor to keep her here. Just for now. "Amanda, would you like to stay for tea?" he asked.

**A/N:**  
The scene at the park...actually very important. And based on real life events -- and no, I couldn't tell the kid what he did was wrong either. Not without bursting out laughing. Chapter 24 is a doozy...and I'm thinking of posting three days in a row so no one has to read it at work...

If you liked this and were mildly entertained please review...it is the only way fanfiction authors get paid!


	23. Deception

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek, Amanda or Sybok and I don't make money from these writings  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Deception**

Amanda had tears in her eyes. "And then he fired!"

She doubled over on the couch in her apartment in laughter, sucked in a few breaths, than reached over for a glass of water.

"It's funny, Amanda, but not that funny," her roommate said.

"You...you...had...to be there." She started giggling again and put a hand to her nose.

"Uh-huh," Carrie said, and then she smiled and said chirpily, "So what did it look like?"

"What did what look like?" asked Amanda, taking a sip of her drink.

"His winkie," said her roommate.

Amanda just managed not to spit out her drink; instead, she swallowed it the wrong way. When she was done recovering, she said, "His _winkie_?"

"Yeah, you know --" Carrie said, gesturing with her hands in the proximity of her hips.

"Who calls it a winkie?" asked Amanda.

Carrie went red. "I think that winkie is a perfectly acceptable term for male genitalia."

"Uh-huh," was all that Amanda could manage.

Carrie asked in a hushed voice, "Was it, you know, normal sized?"

"He's. Fourteen. Months. Old. Carrie." Amanda's eyes went wide at her roommate's obvious depravity. "I can't believe you're asking that."

Carrie seemed unabashed. "Well, in your professional opinion, was it normal sized for a fourteen month old?"

"You are really disturbing me," Amanda said. "First off, I haven't seen a large enough sample of fourteen month old wink -- penises, to have an educated opinion on that. Second, I haven't exactly yanked out a ruler and measured the ones I have seen. And lastly--" Her hand flew in the air. "Why would I care about the size of a fourteen month old penis? That is just so wrong."

"Because it might give you an idea what his dad's winkie is like." Carrie gestured sizes with her hands. "-- small, big, proportional...green?"

Amanda stared at her roommate, completely speechless.

Carrie shrugged. "When I researched this subject online--"

"You looked this up?" asked Amanda.

Carrie aimed a pointed glare at her. "Like you haven't?"

Amanda went red.

"...I couldn't find anything," Carrie said.

"I think it's kind of a moot point, Carrie." Amanda said, lying back on the couch and putting a pillow over her eyes. "When I looked, I couldn't find any verifiable accounts of Vulcans and humans being romantically involved."

"Ah-hah!" said Carrie.

Amanda decided to ignore the teasing tone in her roommate's voice. "Their romantic lives are arranged by their families."

"If it's arranged, can it ever be romantic?" asked Carrie.

Amanda actually felt a little bit of defensiveness well up in the pit of her stomach. "I imagine it depends on the couple."

"That's true," Carrie said, her tone becoming abruptly more reflective. "If you read historic accounts of arranged marriages, sometimes the couple really did fall in love."

Amanda remembered Sarek's reactions when he talked about T'Sala. It seemed too personal to reveal to Carrie. She returned to the previous topic -- she'd already started digging with a spade--might as well pull out the shovel. "I did see some unverified posts on bulletin boards -- anonymous posters saying that they knew people who were dating Vulcans..."

Carrie shifted in her chair. "At least one of those might have been me."

Amanda sat upright. "Carrie! We're not dating!"

Carrie shrugged. "Well, not officially. You got home awfully late tonight..."

"Dating usually implies some sort of physical aspect, of which we have zero," Amanda said.

"Do you want there to be a physical aspect?" asked her roommate.

Amanda sighed. "I honestly don't know. I'm really happy right now just to have someone I feel comfortable with."

It was a sad truth. She didn't _want_anyone right now. Amanda's research into 'Vulcan Human couples' had ended a long time ago. She felt like part of her was, if not dead, on hiatus.

x x x

Putting Sybock to bed later that night, Sarek whispered to his son, "Did you have an adequately stimulating day today?"

Sybok put a hand up to Sarek's temples and shot him a bolt of happiness and satisfaction. Sarek was quite pleased with that...but there was also an undercurrent of...light, bubbling, curious..._deception._ Sarek tilted his head. He could mind meld with Sybok to find the exact source of this undercurrent, but this might be needlessly invasive. Sybok was obviously happy and healthy...

Perhaps Sybok had spilled something -- or had some sort of accident that frustrated him and Amanda had told him it was inappropriate to worry? Perhaps promised to keep it a secret? He'd overheard T'Lana say something similar one time when Sybok knocked over Sarek's incense stand. He decided he would question Amanda next time he saw her, but not trouble Sybok.

Amanda...

..._should_ he see her later?

Once Sybok went to sleep, Sarek immediately called Vulcan.

"Has there been any progress on my bonding, Mother?" He kept his tone even, but he was certain his mother felt some of his anxiety. He was sure if he bonded he would have an outlet for his inappropriate emotions.

His mother's face betrayed no hint of feeling. She was as controlled as he, but he could feel her concern. "I have not. Your situation was difficult. Sybock's presence in your life makes it more difficult."

There was nothing accusatory in what she said, it was simply a fact. If anything Sarek could feel the faintest wisp of pride from her. "Your decision to take on responsibility for Sybok was logical, son. His needs are great."

Sarek looked at his hands. "Mother, at this point, I understand that any partner that is willing is acceptable."

"You have a son now. We must find more than just a willing partner, we must find a suitable mother. We have four more years, there is time. We should not act in haste."

He didn't want to wait. Not just because of the situation he found himself in with Amanda. Sarek took a breath. "I have thought that if the bond with T'Yavi had not been as new and raw, that things would have been much different." Maybe with time she would have been stabilized by the bond, as T'Sala and he had lent emotional support to one another? If he had not taken her in the heat of Pon Farr...

"You were not responsible for her death, Sarek."

Sarek tilted his head. "It is illogical to believe that I am responsible. However, it is logical to do everything possible to see that such a situation does not occur again."

His mother's eyes did not waver, but she took a long breath. "There is still time, Sarek. Some compromises will need to be made, but let us wait a few more years until we decide."

Sarek did not respond. He found the answer less than satisfactory.

After the subspace call, Sarek did not touch the data square he had acquired earlier that day. Instead he slept, and then when he woke he immediately meditated. When his mind was clear he mulled over the situation with Amanda. Obviously, the best way to handle temptation was to avoid it entirely, if at all possible.

But Sybok liked her. Certainly someone at the Vulcan Embassy would watch his son in an emergency. But someone Sybok had a rapport with was far more desirable than leaving him with a stranger. Sybok had had enough poor attachments in his life.

Sarek carefully weighed the risk of acting on his feelings for Amanda. Unless he was exposed to a chemical agent that altered his brain chemistry -- chocolate, perhaps, or Andorian brandy, it seemed quite unlikely. He did have excellent control.

Maintaining contact for Sybok's sake seemed logical. But perhaps he should limit the contact? If so, to how much? Frustratingly, there was no mathematical formula for this.

x x x

"Sarek," said Amanda on his doorstep the evening two days after their last meeting. "How is the little guy?"

Sarek had not intended for Amanda to come over so soon, but Amanda had sent him an email on Monday asking him how he and Sybok were doing. He had responded with the truth. He and Sybok had had to receive emergency vaccinations for a mutated strain of chicken pox that was quite serious in Vulcans -- humans were completely immune.

Sarek had no trouble with the vaccination. Sybok, however...

"His fever has dropped, but he is still listless, and the rash has not completely cleared," Sarek replied.

"When I heard about the virus on the news, I was so worried," Amanda said. "The reaction to the immunization, it isn't as bad as actually getting the Vulcan chicken pox, is it?"

Sarek cleared the way so she could enter his home. "No, I am told it is not."

He could not tell Amanda that despite this diagnosis just how much he had been shaken by Sybok's reaction to the vaccine. His son had lain listless in his arms the night before, as though all the bones had been removed from his small body. Sarek had not slept and barely eaten. He had meditated a little beside Sybok, not wishing the child to rouse from his fever-induced stupor alone.

"I'd like to see him," said Amanda.

"He is in the living room," said Sarek.

Amanda did not move. "Pardon me for saying so, but you don't look very well yourself, Sarek."

"There is nothing to pardon when you speak the truth. I have not eaten much or slept since Sybok fell ill."

"I can cuddle with him and entertain him with his favorite interactive fish vid while you make some dinner," said Amanda, moving towards the living room.

Sarek felt a contented rumble rising in his chest at her words, but even without sleep or adequate meditation time he was able to suppress it.

Once more he was struck by the desire to keep her near. "Would you please join us for our meal? If I am cooking, it is not any effort to cook for one more," Sarek said.

There was no Andorian brandy or chocolate in the house...He could not fathom a scenario where a chemical agent could overwhelm his emotional control.

**A/N:**

What could go wrong?

Thanks for reading everyone!

If you were mildly entertained, please review. It is how Notes and I get paid.


	24. And Always Will Be

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Amanda or Sybok**

Special thanks to my beta Notes from the Classroom.

**And Always Will Be**

After dinner, Sarek took Sybok upstairs to put him to sleep a half hour before his normal bedtime. Sybok's head had been lolling over as he sat in Amanda's lap. The little guy hadn't done much all evening except switch from one lap to another. He'd briefly touched Amanda's fingers when she arrived and transmitted a little spark she translated as 'Hi, good to see you again!' but he really hadn't been very interactive.

Sarek told her that for a normal Vulcan child at this point in development, transmitting emotions should be second nature and effortless. But Sybok was delayed, and when he didn't feel well he just preferred to clam up.

While Sarek was upstairs, Amanda poured two glasses of Port in the kitchen. Sarek didn't have Port glasses, so regular glasses had to do. Holding a glass to her nose, she swished the liquid and inhaled. It smelled like caramel and apples and wonderful things.

Smiling to herself, she looked up to see Sarek in the doorway wearing the dark, loose clothing that reminded her of something between pajamas and martial arts workout gear. She handed him a drink.

Tilting his head, he looked at the Port, smelled the liquid and said, "Interesting. I believe its dark red color is indicative of a high levels of antioxidants."

Amanda held up her glass and said, "A toast...to antioxidants."

Sarek blinked. "I suppose they are beneficial." He clinked his glass to hers. They both swallowed.

"Interesting flavor," Sarek said.

"It is very nice," said Amanda.

"I do not believe they have added any additional sugars to this beverage," Sarek said.

"No, I don't think they do," Amanda said, taking another sip and leaning back against the counter.

"Perhaps I should see if Sybok likes it," Sarek said.

Amanda managed not to choke on her drink. "You can't give alcohol to a toddler."

"Perhaps not a human toddler, but Sybok will be completely unaffected by alcohol. It will pass through his system like water. And it is so hard to find nutritious drinks that are not laden with extra sugar," Sarek said.

"Sarek, you might get arrested!"

"That would be illogical," said the Vulcan.

x x x

Amanda was finishing off her second glass of Port. She had managed to convince Sarek that giving Sybok alcohol in public would be dangerous if he wished to keep Sybok in his custody. She had conceded that since Sybok was a Vulcan child, this would be a rather illogical outcome.

It may have been the slight buzz of the Port talking, but she was fairly certain some of his protestations were half in jest.

"Amanda," he said, after his third serving of Port -- he said it was logical to consume such a nutritious beverage, but Amanda suspected he just liked the taste. "There is another issue I wish to discuss with you."

"Sure, Sarek, what's up...don't tell me the ceiling, or Orion Prime," said Amanda.

"Actually, due to your planet's current state of rotation, orbit around the sun, and location in the Milky Way, Orion Prime is actually not up, it is ..." He pointed left, and slightly down... "That way."

She followed his finger. "That is probably the exact location of Orion Prime, isn't it? To the exact degree."

"Yes," he assured her putting his hand down. They were still standing in the kitchen, Amanda leaning on the counter, Sarek less than a quarter meter away.

Raising an eyebrow, she said, "You're not affected by the alcohol at all, are you?"

"No, not at all. But as I was saying, there was something I wanted to discuss. Sybok seemed to find the time you watched him sufficiently stimulating --"

"That's Vulcan for 'he had a good time,' isn't it?" Amanda said, waving her empty glass in the air.

"As you say." Following her glass with his eyes he asked, "Would you like more to drink?"

"Better not," said Amanda.

"Very well," said Sarek. "It came to my attention that he is concealing something that occurred that day."

Amanda let out a very undignified laugh that sounded a bit too much like a snort. She coughed. "He wasn't supposed to tell!" she said jokingly.

"I assure you, he is doing his best not to," Sarek said evenly. "I understand that sometimes even children have a right to privacy. Perhaps there was some sort of minor accident that embarrassed him and you wished to help preserve his emotional control by assuring him of your secrecy. I would find that completely acceptable, and as long as I know his behavior was not illogical..."

"Oh..." said Amanda taking a deep breath to control the fit of hysterics that was building in her chest. It wasn't that funny. It wasn't that funny. It wasn't that funny. "His behavior was quite logical..."

"Then why would he hide it from me?" asked Sarek.

Amanda put down her glass. "Because..." Her eyes were getting hot. Her voice was starting to shake. She had visions of little Sybok taking down The Bully and his squirt gun with one little flourish of his...of his...of his winkie.

Amanda lost it. She broke down in peals of laughter. Some part of her brain was saying, "It's not that funny! You can control yourself." And another part of her mind was remembering the look of shock on The Bully's face...his maniacal laughter turning to horror. And she just. Couldn't. Stop.

She couldn't even breathe, she was laughing so hard. She tried looking up at Sarek. His face was its usual mask. Which was also funny.

As she managed a short breath of air, she heard Sarek say, "Amanda, I believe you are asphyxiating."

Which was really funny. She closed her eyes and began laughing again.

Hot dry fingers touched her face. She was hit by a wave of concern -- the part of her brain that was still logical said, "He thinks you're dying; snap out of it, woman!" And the part of her brain that was on some sort of weird laughter over-ride said, "Hilarious example of interspecies misunderstanding!"

The insane laughter part of the brain won out. Amanda went right over the edge again into not-breathing-because-she-was-laughing-too-hard. She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut and banged her hand on the counter to stabilize herself.

And then something snapped...

Once when she was a child she'd built a little dam in the stream that ran by her house. She'd removed one tiny twig...And suddenly the whole dam burst. A small flood swept out through her yard...

That is what the next moment felt like. Something small triggered a deluge. Opening her eyes, she found herself in blackness and gasping for breath, the laughter completely gone. There was an arm around her waist that was solid as stone and the fingers on her forehead that felt so hot they almost burned.

"It's okay, Sarek, I'm fine. I was just..." She blinked, she saw stars, and her vision was still dark. She suddenly felt extremely warm. Very protected. Very wanted. Very turned on -- more than she'd ever been.

Amanda's legs actually started shaking. She fisted her hands into Sarek's shirt to keep from sinking to the floor. He was very warm...and solid...and real.

Hot breath caressed her forehead. "You are safe. I will not let you fall."

The words hit her like an earthquake. She wasn't sure why, but they were perhaps the sexiest words she had ever heard. Amanda kept her eyes down; if she looked up, she would kiss him. Instead, she pushed her face to Sarek's chest. If she kept herself trapped there she would behave, she would be good.

...She wanted to bite his chest through his shirt. Rip into him. Wanted him to lift her up and put her on the counter...she would do almost anything to feel him against her...feel him inside her...

Amanda heard a feminine moan...and realized it had come from her.

The chest beneath her took several quick heaves, the fingers at her forehead pressed harder, and through the heat of her arousal Amanda had a horrifying thought. He was listening in. He knew what she was feeling. The burn of desire turned to the burn of embarrassment. She had never felt so horribly exposed.

Pulling back, she said, "I am so sorry. I know this is inappropriate...I...I..."

She actually felt a tear slip from her eye. Don't get choked up, Amanda. Just pull yourself together. "Excuse me..." she stammered, her face too hot to look up at the Vulcan. "I'll go..."

She pulled back; the arm around her waist slackened but did not drop. The fingers on her temple did not fall. And she couldn't push away--her hands still clutched his shirt. Despite her embarrassment, she couldn't make her legs move. She swallowed.

"Amanda," Sarek said softly, "please. It is I who must apologize. I was not expecting your laughter to trigger such a profound neurochemical reaction. My shields...are down...I have projected. I have made you uncomfortable."

Amanda's neurons felt like they were firing in jello. Everything running through her brain felt delayed. She took a few deep breaths as what he was saying sank in. And then she understood.

It hadn't just been her. It had been him, too. Her fingers tightened around the fabric of his shirt.

She was on the verge of a great romance, or losing a great friend. She had a sudden sense of vertigo.

Sarek wasn't letting her go. But he wasn't showing any sign of affection either. That did not bode well.

She was afraid to speak, but at last she said, "So what does it mean? Is it inappropriate and irrelevant?"

"Irrelevant can be taken many ways. I find it in an unsatisfactory word," Sarek said. She could feel his breath on the top of her head.

"But it is still inappropriate?" Amanda felt the beginnings of tears again, her stomach a twisted mass of fear.

"I cannot make you an experiment," Sarek said. As the words came out Amanda suddenly felt a wave of _protectiveness_ hit her. He wanted to keep her safe...but...

"I don't understand," Amanda said.

"There are many logical reasons for us not to...bond. I cannot give you children."

Amanda took a deep breath. She had always wanted children of her own -- someday. But now, suddenly faced with a choice, she did not see that as a strong enough reason not to pursue something more. She could leave Sarek now and fall in love with a human man who might not be able to give her children. And with Sarek it was not like her life would be completely childless. "I...you...we...would already have a child...we have Sybok."

Something in her stomach constricted...in a good way. Sarek took a short ragged breath, and then he abruptly removed the hand from her temple and stroked the side of her cheek with the back of his finger tips.

He shuddered for a moment, then stood and straightened. "I could hurt you, physically; I am much stronger than a human male..."

"But you never would, Sarek. You are always so calm and composed." She looked up at him and met his eyes. "You would never lose control. I know you."

He stared at her and then looked down. "As tonight's episode demonstrates, Vulcans sometimes, due to altering of their brain chemistry...can, in fact, lose control."

"You just showed some feeling -- is that so bad?" Amanda asked, not liking where this was going.

"There is more." He dropped his hand from her back. "Amanda, the bond between Vulcans is telepathic and in most cases permanent. The bonding is a physical thing; it touches all areas of the brain, even the brain-stem, where vital life functions are maintained. I have no idea if bonding would be safe for a human."

Amanda unclenched her fists, dropped her hands and looked down. If he didn't know if it would hurt her, then she certainly didn't know. She couldn't argue about something that she didn't understand.

"Even a mind meld can be dangerous," Sarek said. "A bonding...I have not seen anything about Human-Vulcan bondings in any of the literature."

She looked up at Sarek; his hand was still at her temples, brushing her softly with the backs of his fingertips.

"Kind of makes me feel better that you looked." Her vision blurred slightly.

She wanted to ask if bonding was really essential...but didn't. If it wasn't, and he really wanted her, it would not be an issue. She was done.

"I had better go," she said.

His hand dropped from her forehead but he did not move and neither did she. Amanda could feel his body heat. She let her forehead fall down against his chest...she shouldn't have done it; it made her feel weak and exposed again, but she couldn't help herself. Everything had changed, and it would be a long time before it would be better.

If Sarek had been human, he might have put his arms around her, might have soothingly stroked her back. But he did not move.

"I will call you a cab," he said at last.

Nodding mutely, she looked at the floor. She couldn't meet his eyes. He pulled away and she heard him walk to the other room. Amanda went to retrieve her coat and bag and slipped on her shoes. She'd become accustomed to how warm he kept her home, but now the heat felt oppressive. She walked to the door and for a moment she had an urge to flee without even saying goodbye.

But hearing Sarek's footsteps, she turned around. She wanted to say something but found she could not.

Looking down at the ground and putting his hands behind his back, Sarek said, "I do not know the appropriate protocol for situations like these."

Amanda blinked and took a deep breath. "I don't think there is any, really..."

Taking a few steps closer, Sarek said softly in Vulcan, _"Amanda, I am and will always be your friend." _

Amanda blinked back tears and looked down. She managed to croak out, "Of course, and if you ever need help with Sybok, if there is an emergency or something, just call."

Movement caught her eye. Glancing up, she looked to see Sarek holding out two fingers the way Sybock did when he wanted to tell her how he was feeling. Amanda stared at his hand. She hadn't put her jacket on, she shifted it awkwardly in her arms. Reaching up with trembling fingers she brought her digits up to his. Where earlier they had felt almost too hot, now they just felt warm and dry.

Amanda stifled a gasp. Dancing in the background like a spot in her vision was that intense black emotion she felt earlier, but there was also a sincerity...an affection...that was so real and present it took her breath away. And somehow that just made it all worse.

**A/N:**

'Course there can be no Spock if they don't work this out…so I think they will.

Sister can you spare some time? Reviews are the only way fanfiction authors and their betas get paid. If you were mildly entertained please hit the review button and give a shout out.

Thanks for reading everyone!


	25. Puzzles and Explanations

**Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I profit from it**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Puzzles and Explanations**

It was 0500. Sybok was still sleeping. Sitting down at his monitor, Sarek checked his messages. There was nothing from Amanda--not that he expected anything at this point. She had politely declined an invitation he had sent a week ago to go to the aquarium with Sybok and him. She was taking a statistics class and said that she was busy studying. She had not initiated any contact with Sarek on her own.

She had come by to give something to Sybok when Sarek was at work--a simplified PADD for children with interactive fish puzzles on it that automatically adjusted to a child's skill level. T'Lana had been impressed. Sybok loved putting together the fish.

He took a breath, stared at his monitor and then began working on sorting out the transporter beam signals that occurred during the forty-eight hours the Vulcan Embassy ship had left the space dock eight years ago.

It had been a tedious process. First he had created a computer query to sort through all the beam records and find those which were possibly Vulcan, based on energy signatures that indicated higher muscle mass and bone density.

From the five hundred and three suspected Vulcan transporter beam records, Sarek had to sort out which ones were from the Embassy ship. Some of the records did have identification of the vessel the beams initiated from, but there were exactly fifty-seven that did not. Sarek went through these unidentified records one by one and matched the location of the beam origination to flight manifests from commercial vessels. It turned out there was a flaw in the data he'd received that caused beams from commercial entities that had gone out of business to show up as unidentified -- Sarek had informed the correct department.

This left twenty-five unidentified beam downs. Twenty were for various privately funded research initiatives across planet.

The last five...

Five Vulcans had beamed down to an apartment in Suwon, Korea. Exactly three minutes after they beamed down, seven beam ups were initiated: six Vulcans, and one human. From the energy signatures, Sarek had determined that the extra Vulcan was most likely male, and the human was most likely female -- although a diminutive or young male could not be ruled out.

Sarek began researching the address. A local periodical from Suwon mentioned that police were called to the scene after reports of a violent disturbance. The police had found the apartment robbed. Fortunately, it seemed that the occupants of the apartment, a Ms. Hae-Won Park and her four children, had been out of town at the time...

Rustling came from Sybok's room, and then a few quick cries. Turning off his monitor, Sarek went to retrieve his son. As he lifted him out of bed, Sybok smacked a hand hard to his face. An image of Amanda and himself by the fish pond filled Sarek's mind. Sarek blinked. It was Sybok's first telepathic image, and it was of him and Amanda together. It flickered away and Sarek was left with the sensation of _want._

Touching his son's temples, he projected calm. Sybok sent back a wave of anger and irritation, then he pulled back and smacked Sarek with a tiny hand. Putting Sybok back down in his bed, Sarek grabbed the toddler's wrists, cut off all projected emotions, and gave a firm, "No."

Normally the end of contact was enough to discipline a Vulcan child, but Sybok began jumping up and down and trying to twist out of Sarek's grasp. Sarek wrapped an arm around the toddler to immobilize him. He put a hand to the little Vulcan's temple and once more saw the image of Amanda and himself by the fish pond.

"I will see what I can do, Sybok," Sarek said.

x x x

"Your Vulcan is in our kitchen," Carrie said as Amanda entered their apartment.

Carrie slipped on a coat. "I think I might just, you know, go out and grab a coffee." She nodded at Amanda and mouthed the words "good luck."

Amanda stared after her roommate. She had not told Carrie anything about the other night. Better to keep the pain and humiliation to herself.

With some apprehension, she walked into the kitchen. Sarek was standing there, looking very stiff and formal in the clothing he normally wore to work. He was probably cold, she realized.

"Hi," she said, slipping her bag off her shoulder and onto the counter.

"Hello, Amanda. I realize that it is not customary for me to come by unannounced, but as you did so the other day to deliver a gift for Sybok, I thought I might similarly do so to say thank you."

Amanda took a careful breath. She'd debated long and hard about the puzzles she'd gotten for Sybok. She hadn't been able to resist them but hadn't wanted to confront his father. In the end she decided she didn't want any awkwardness between her and Sarek to affect the child, so she'd given the gift to Sybok...when she knew Sarek wouldn't be home.

"I also came by," Sarek said slowly, "to see if there might be some way to repair relations between us."

Amanda closed her eyes briefly, took a breath. "Things will get better, Sarek; it just takes time. Right now I just need some space."

Sarek looked around her home, turned back towards her, and tilted his head. "Space? I do not understand."

Of course he didn't, Amanda realized. He might be over seventy years old, but all of his relationships had been arranged for him. He'd dealt with loss and grief, but this situation was completely new for him.

"I need time to sort things out, think things through, Sarek. Evidently..." she crossed her arms over her chest, "...evidently Vulcan-Human relationships...romantic relationships...don't work...or don't happen...or..." She closed her eyes. "I just need some time to wrap my head around that...and keep it straight. So I don't slip up again."

"I think it is illogical to think you will slip up again, Amanda. It was my inappropriate reaction to your state of temporary asphyxiation, my slip, if you will, that precipitated this situation. I will not slip again."

Amanda smiled tightly at his logic. She considered trying to explain to him how being around him and knowing—well, feeling--that there could be something more, something better, and true and great would be like slowly pulling out her insides, how trying to keep from 'slipping up' would be exhausting...but she didn't see the point. It would just leave her feeling more vulnerable and helpless.

"Would you like some tea, Sarek?" she asked.

"Yes," Sarek said, appearing to loosen up a bit.

"I'll make it this time," Amanda said, going to fill the kettle with clean water.

"How was your day?" asked Sarek as the flame flickered to life under the kettle.

"It was alright," Amanda said.

"You went to your statistics class?" Sarek asked.

"No," said Amanda, turning to face him. She could be silent or..."I actually met up with my old boyfriend. The one I dated from high school up until about two years ago."

The effect on Sarek was immediate. Dropping his head, he put his hands behind his back and gazed down. Amanda could tell that the tips of his ears had turned distinctly green. When he spoke it came out a whisper. "I see."

"I'm not interested in him romantically, Sarek."

Sarek kept his eyes on the floor, but tilted his head. "But he is interested in you."

Amanda was a bit taken back by the certainty in Sarek's statement. Mark was, in fact, interested in Amanda. He'd allegedly regretted breaking up with her since...well, since they broke up -- the night before a very important exam. She had thought at the time it was a ploy to get attention. Mark's actions since then had pretty much proven that theory. She knew Mark still loved her, but she'd lost a lot of respect for him when he'd toyed with her heart before such an important event.

She didn't want to be with Mark in a romantic sense, even though she still had some affection for him. And that is how it would be with Sarek, if she just had some time and some space. Just an affectionate, platonic, relationship. But for now...

She sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, I would not like it if you told me you'd found a new bond mate."

Sarek still kept his eyes on the floor. "It is logical for us to find partners within our species."

"Yes, it is logical," Amanda said.

Sarek looked up at her quickly. She was certain that his jaw was tight.

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt," said Amanda. "If we give it time...it will get better."

x x x

Sarek sat at his monitor again after Sybok had gone to bed.

Did feelings for someone cool with time? Certainly with T'Sala that had not been the case. If anything, his emotions for her had increased and now when he thought of her he still had to repress a burn. It was difficult to imagine that it would be so with Amanda. Maybe it was just human feelings that cooled.

If so, perhaps this was just another potential incompatibility between their species.

Sarek went back to investigating the mysterious beam downs in Suwan, Korea eight years ago. He needed questions he could solve.

There was no incident of a robbery or a call in the police reports -- although it had been reported in a small local periodical. Either there was some error in the police records, or the records had been purposely erased. At least, on the Vulcan end there had been a cover up; it could have happened on the human end as well.

He began researching Ms. Hae-Won Park. There actually was a fair bit of information on her in the same periodical that reported the robbery. She'd married quite young. She and her husband Kyun Park had four children and ran a martial arts studio together. Her husband had died twelve years ago -- four years before the incident. There was no indication she had remarried.

One of the articles had the name of her martial arts studio. Sarek looked it up online. The studio specialized in all number of martial arts including Suus Mahn. He clicked to the instructor's page and froze. One of the lead instructors had been with the studio thirteen years.

...And he was Vulcan.

**A/N:**

If you enjoyed, please review, its the only way Notes and I get paid from this.

AND...if you were one of those people who voted for me over at live journal spock_uhura community, THANKS! If you're a Spock Uhura fan and you're looking for some recs that is a great place to go.


	26. Beam UP

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek or Amanda. Nor do I profit from their adventures.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Beam Up**

Sarek reviewed the biography of the Vulcan martial arts instructor at Ms. Park's martial arts studio. His name was T'gali Ahn Mai Milock; his age was not given. By the photograph he looked to be middle aged, perhaps seventy to eighty Terran years.

Milock was master of seven human martial arts, three and Andorian and Suus Mahna. He was reigning champion of Suus Mahna on Earth among Vulcans -- not that he would have had much competition on Earth. Apparently he had trained seven out of the last ten human Suus Mahna champions, including Ms. Park's twelve-year-old daughter, Hia.

Sarek pushed away from his monitor. The Embassy kept records of every Vulcan on Earth. Sarek could log into the Embassy computer, access these confidential files and review Milock's personal data. But it might not be wise to pull the file of a Vulcan who may have been beamed out of an apartment under purposely-veiled circumstances.

...Circumstances that could have a myriad of possible explanations. Of course, there was one explanation that was of particular personal interest to Sarek.

Did he dare just try the direct approach? Of course not. Even if the the circumstances were not suspicious, no Vulcan would approach another Vulcan, especially one he didn't know, and simply ask_, 'Excuse me, where were you the night of...'_

He had to find another way.

x x x

Walking out of the Vulcan Embassy's second floor conference room after class, Amanda craned her neck to the left, walked to the right, and nearly careened into someone. A tall male someone.

"Whoa, Amanda, are you looking for Sarek?" Josef asked, holding a steaming cup of coffee up protectively.

It had been a month now since Sarek had basically confessed his unrequitable love for her -- or at least she was fairly certain that was what he had done, in his own Vulcanish way. Now when she came to Vulcan class she wasn't sure if she wanted to see him, or if she didn't.

"No, I..."

"Hmmmm....he actually left a little early today," Josef said.

Amanda knew that for Sarek and Josef, both good work-a-holics, leaving early meant going home at a normal time.

"He actually canceled his chess game with me." Josef winked. "I think I have him running scared."

"I don't think you could scare him with a chess game," Amanda said somewhat defensively, then inwardly kicked herself.

Josef didn't seem to notice her defensiveness. "Oh, if we play for time and I distract him with impertinent questions, I think I could raise his anxiety level." He took a sip of his coffee. "Of course, he'll probably clobber me -- at chess, I mean, not literally, I hope. Professor Karmac says he is quite good. Karmac basically challenged me to play Sarek. I really shouldn't have let myself be goaded like that..."

"Hmmm..." said Amanda nodding and beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Do you play chess?" Josef asked.

Rolling her eyes, Amanda said, "Sarek tried to teach me...I really don't care for it much, though."

"Pity," said Josef. "So how are things with you and Sarek lately?"

Amanda straightened, suddenly on red alert. What was the implication of that statement? "Good."

Josef worked for the Embassy. Vulcans and Humans apparently did not mix in anything but a platonic manner. Could Sarek get in trouble if they knew he'd revealed feelings for her? Not that anything had happened really, but they did pride themselves so much on their control. Amanda said quickly, and perhaps unnecessarily, "We're friends. Just friends."

Josef stared at her unblinking in a way that was unnerving. Amanda realized her added defensiveness was probably too much. "I've got to run, Josef -- see you later."

Stepping to the side he said, "Ciao."

x x x

One of the human readers at the Embassy had said that 'when you had children, it was always something.' The comment had left Sarek completely bewildered. What was it? What was something?

Now he knew; when one had children, something was always a little off kilter. There was always teething, or chicken pox, or split-pea soup on the wall -- amazingly completely accidentally. It all amounted to unscheduled interruptions, extra cleaning supplies, more loads of laundry and dishes, and less sleep and meditation time than Sarek was accustomed to. Adult Vulcans needed considerably less rest than adult Humans -- although the young of both species required similar amounts of down time. How did Human parents manage?

During work Sybok's pediatrician had called to say that he needed to return to Vulcan for a family emergency and asked Sarek if he would consider moving Sybok's fifteen-month wellness checkup up a few days. Sarek wound up missing the chess game he had planned with Josef. Not that Sarek cared particularly for Josef's company, but he did care for chess, and Professor Karmac and T'Zena both said Josef played a good game.

It was not particularly satisfying when the highlight of your week was a chess game in the company of a person you mistrusted. On the other hand, it might present an opportunity to get to know Josef better -- and that was the unwritten part of Sarek's job description.

Sarek turned on his monitor and began researching private investigators near Suwan, Korea. He had just learned of private investigators or 'PI's'; they were a fascinating offshoot of Earth's quasi-capitalist system. On Vulcan things were much more centralized; one went through the authorities, acquaintances, or looked into the matter one's self.

At 2353 he found a woman he believed suited his needs. He sent an email inquiry into rates and availability.

x x x

Three days later, Sarek got his first report from his 'PI'. Apparently, Milock officially lived in a flat below the Parks. The building was not the original location of the incident. Sarek's PI had also managed to get access to the files at the Vulcan Conusulate in Seoul due to 'a favor owed by a friend.' Milock was listed as being bonded to a T'ali Mahn Bet T'Vare. It did not say when they had bonded.

Milock was currently attending a martial arts tournament in Brussels -- he'd be there for two more days. Sarek's PI said she'd put some more 'leg work' into the case when he returned. She also mentioned it would be easier to satisfy Sarek's curiosity if she knew precisely what Sarek was looking for.

Sarek did a quick scan of publicly accessible Vulcan records. T'Vare was apparently a primary school teacher in one of Vulcan's northern provinces. There was no information on her bonded status or her bond mate -- although this was not unusual. Vulcans didn't make announcements in public periodicals to proclaim their bond.

Sarek felt the information in the PI's report, while intriguing, was too little to speculate on.

To prevent his mind from wandering to illogical speculations, he switched to the news. T'Zena was currently on tour in the Sol system, visiting research facilities -- including the water reclamation project on Ceres, Mars Colony and the Moon. Sarek decided to check on her progress.

At exactly 0120 Sarek's monitor began flashing, indicating a call from T'Pau. Sarek accepted immediately. He blinked. He was facing a split screen; on one side was T'Pau, obviously on Vulcan; on the other was Josef, apparently in some sort of transport.

"Sarek," said T'Pau, "a very delicate situation has arisen. The police have become involved and Josef believes that having an authoritative figure from the Embassy would be beneficial to lend legitimacy to interactions with the local authorities. Since T'Zena is currently off planet, your services are required." The elder nodded. "Sarek, I trust you will have the utmost discretion in this. T'Pau out."

The elder vanished from the screen and Sarek was facing only Josef.

"How long will it take you to get dressed? It would be good if you wore your full ceremonial robes," the human said.

Sarek's mind was whirling. "I have a son. I cannot leave him alone. My normal caregiver is otherwise occupied. May we beam him to the transport you are in?"

"That would be inadvisable," Josef said. "What about Amanda? She has experience with children..."

x x x

Amanda's comm was beeping. She ignored it. It stopped. And then it started beeping again. Groaning, she pulled herself up out of bed. Who would call her this late at night?

She felt a rush of anxiety...maybe someone had died. Suddenly she was awake. Flipping on her monitor and pressing a button, she watched the screen flicker to life, fully expecting to see her mother.

Instead she saw Josef on the right side of a split screen, and what looked like a view of Sarek's spare room on the left side...but no Sarek.

She opened her mouth but before she could even speak, Josef was talking. "Amanda there is an emergency; we need Sarek's assistance. Can you watch Sybok?"

She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Just for a moment when she was looking at Sarek's empty room, she thought her Vulcan might have had some sort of accident. "Ummm...sure, it will take me about twenty minutes to get over there..."

"There is not time for that." He looked her quickly up and down. "We can beam you over immediately. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes, can I --"

Josef had turned around and was giving orders in Vulcan. She suddenly felt tingling all around. Looking down she saw her limbs surrounded by light. Blinking, she looked around to see a strange room; she was on a transporter pad. There was the humm of engines in the background. Josef was in front of her.

She blinked and then snapped at Josef. "Could you have let me change out of my pajamas!" But the transporter pad only was a temporary way station. Just as the words came tumbling out of her mouth she found herself in Sarek's house, face to face with him.

He was dressed more formally than she had ever seen, absolutely encased by his Vulcan robes. Amanda on the other hand was wearing a tight sleeveless tank top and loose shorts. She wasn't even wearing a bra or underwear. It was embarrassing. She blinked. But not his fault...and she'd accidentally just told him off...

Crossing her arms defensively across her bra-less chest, she started to apologize for her harsh words, but before she could get them out he was shrouded in white light...then gone.

**A/N:**  
The plot thickens! If you were mildly entertained, please review -- its the only way Notes and I get paid. I may eve be convinced to post again tomorrow ;-)


	27. Delicate Situations

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Sarek or Amanda. Nor do I profit from them.  
**  
Special Thanks to my Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Delicate Situations**

Sarek materialized on a transporter PADD, the image of Amanda wearing...not much, burned into his mind. As his eyes came into focus he noticed the Vulcan Embassy emblem on the opposite wall. Josef was there, as were the Embassy healer and doctor T'Della, and the head of Embassy security and four guards. The head of security motioned for Sarek to remain where he was. Josef climbed up onto the pad next to him.

Over the ship intercom Sarek heard, "We have permission to clear space dock in one minute. Estimated time of arrival at destination: three minutes."

T'Della spoke, "He called the Embassy himself, which means he is in some control of his higher thought processes. But he could not tell me when he entered his time. It is difficult to determine if it has just begun or if he is at the end."

Sarek felt his stomach drop and his body go cold. They were discussing this in front of a human...One that was potentially untrustworthy?

The healer continued. "He believes his mate to be injured, but may or may not be reasonable when he sees us materialize."

The head of security began to speak, "They are staying at a remote cabin in the vicinity of Banff, Canada. One of the grounds people reported what he believed to be an altercation to the police twenty-four minutes ago. Due to the remote location, we should arrive approximately fifteen seconds after the authorities, in time to intercept them before they enter the cabin." He nodded at Josef and Sarek. "We will beam you two down outside of the structure first. We can't afford to let the police enter the house, and in the event we cannot get a transporter lock, we will need you to stall them. We will beam up the two individuals in the cabin as soon as we can establish a lock."

The intercom crackled. "Arriving at destination."

The head of security nodded at Josef and Sarek once more and Sarek found himself enshrouded in white light.

They materialized in a forest still in the depth of night. Sarek could see little beyond his immediate surroundings but the air smelled heavily of pine. Behind them a bright porch light from a cabin stretched their shadows across the ground. Police officers were emerging from their vehicles not four meters away. Dust was still swirling in the high powered beams of the vehicles' head and tail lamps.

"Let me talk first, Sarek," Josef whispered, keeping his eyes trained on the approaching officers. "I'll try to give you something logical to echo."

Josef held up his hands; in one he held his identification. "Officers, I am Josef Friedmann , and this is junior ambassador Sarek."

Sarek held out his identification to the nearest officer, as Josef continued. "We have come from the Vulcan Embassy. We received a distress call from a Vulcan suffering from what we believe to be a mutated form of the recent Vulcan chicken pox virus. It has infected the brain of the husband-wife couple in the cabin and caused them to behave in a way that is disorderly and destructive -- we are beaming them to our ship for treatment."

Sarek blinked. The 'Vulcan chicken pox' did not infect the brain.

A man not in uniform said, "But his wife is human...I saw her."

Sarek took a breath. His mouth was very dry.

"When did you see her?" asked Josef.

"When I came up to investigate all the ruckus. I looked in the window..." said the man.

"Vulcans and humans look very similar," said Sarek. "I myself find the differences trivial. If you had only a quick view, perhaps you were mistaken." He himself could not believe the woman was human.

"Our records indicate he is married to a Vulcan," said Josef. "And our readouts from the cabin indicate a male and female Vulcan...no humans. I believe the Junior Ambassador to be correct."

The police officers moved forward. "Will you need help getting them to your ship?"

"That is unnecessary," said Sarek.

"And potentially dangerous," said Josef. "The virus may have mutated into a form that can be harmful to humans." He nodded in their directions and tilted his head. "I would not risk it. The Embassy will send out a full haz-mat team to clean up the cabin." He looked at Sarek.

Was he expected to say something? Sarek nodded towards the humans. "Ensuring the safety of our human hosts and maintaining cordial relations is a primary goal of the Vulcan delegation on Earth."

One of the men looked at Josef. "Will you be okay...if the virus is potentially dangerous to humans?"

"We will ensure that he is isolated from any potential infectious agents," Sarek said. Not a lie, technically. But of course, there were no infectious agents to be isolated from.

Josef looked the police officers in the eye. "I've been working for the Vulcans for over ten years. They always have ensured my safety in these situations. I will be fine."

The officers nodded. Josef's comm beeped. Snapping it open with a deft movement of his wrist, he said, "Friedmann here."

"We have the couple in medical and are initiating standard procedures. I am leaving two members of my team behind now. Please inform us when you are ready for beam up."

Josef turned to the officers. "We need to get the couple to a more intensive medical facility immediately. Their lives could be at risk. We are leaving a security team in the house to prevent any humans from entering and possibly becoming infected. The haz-mat team will be down in approximately five more minutes." Turning to the human who was not an officer he added, "The Vulcan Embassy will, of course, pay for all damages."

Scratching his chin and staring at the house, the man nodded but did not look at Josef.

Sarek looked at the Chief Financial Officer -- how had he gotten involved in this business? T'Pau's words echoed in his mind. 'He was a skilled liar...and useful.'

Josef pressed a button, and once again Sarek was on the Embassy ship transporter pad.

"Josef," said the head of security, "the human woman is...emotionally distraught. Would you please speak with her?"

Even though the doors of the transporter room were closed, Sarek could hear a woman yelling in an unfamiliar language.

Striding briskly off the pad towards the door, Josef said, "Huh, That sounds like it might be Arabic..."

Sarek followed two step behind. They walked down a small hallway and entered the doors to the ship's small medical facility. As they did so, an object came hurtling towards them. Ducking in unison with Josef, Sarek briefly turned to see what the object was as it banged against the wall opposite the entrance. It appeared to be a shoe.

Sarek looked back into the med bay. A human woman in a loose robe was standing behind a biobed; she had slightly darker features. Her hair was long, unbound, streaked with gray and in disarray. In one hand she held the hand of a semi-conscious Vulcan male; in the other she was brandishing another shoe. Sarek recognized her and the Vulcan male immediately. The human woman was Doctor Al-Mazroui, the Vulcan male Professor Nivack -- the team that had successfully cloned a Betazed-Human hybrid.

Josef blinked. "Doctor Al-Mazroui...I am a fan."

"Well, fine way of showing it. Did you have to stun him!" Al-Mazroui shouted shaking the other shoe.

"The police were on the way," Josef said. "We needed to evacuate you immediately." He nodded towards Nivack. "They might have tried to make an arrest...it could have been very dangerous for him."

Al-Mazroui clenched her jaw, and there was a low whisper from the biobed. Her body relaxed immediately. "Shhh...Habibi," Al-Mazroui said, "I am fine. I am fine." As she said this, she bent over and touched her forehead to the Vulcan male's. Sarek could detect an audible rumbling emerging from the Vulcan's body. Sarek felt his ears go slightly green. He did not like that Josef was witness to this Vulcan in his vulnerable state.

Josef put his hands behind his back and dropped his eyes to the floor.

The Vulcan healer approached. "Doctor Al-Mazroui, I would like to run a full body scan on you, as well as initiate a meld to confirm you will not suffer any serious effects from the bonding --"

"I am fine! One of the restraints broke, he got loose, thought he hurt me and then panicked. And you do not need to check our bond. It has been fine for the past five years. I cannot see any reason why it would start being a problem now."

Sarek started at the word restraints. But of course...it was a logical response to Vulcan strength and the violence of Pon Farr...

Nivack started to raise himself and growl, eyes on the healer.

Al-Mazroui pushed him back. "Habibi, it's okay, it's okay." She bit his ear -- hard, and his chest began to rumble again.

Sarek watched the gesture of affection. This was so different from his Pon Farr. The human woman was...well, she was able to be affectionate, to protect her mate...and the two had been bonded successfully for five years already. He needed more data, but his mind began to hum with the possibilities.

Raising his eyes, Sarek saw Josef was still staring discreetly at the floor. Sarek suddenly had a lot of questions for the human. And for T'Pau.

**A/N:**  
Thanks everyone for reading. Special thanks to everyone who reviews. If you were entertained, please press the review button below and let Notes and me know!


	28. Getting the Scoop

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda. Nor do I profit from their antics**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom (all mistakes are mine…I added last minute changes).

**Getting the Scoop**

At the embassy in Sarek's office two hours later, Josef handed Sarek a PADD. "You're the ranking official here right now, Sarek -- this will need your sign off."

Josef looked over a PADD of his own. "Hmmm...they didn't use a healer during their initial bond," He murmured. Then he said more audibly, "After the team combs through the rooms and removes anything suspicious, we'll contact the local authorities and let them know that the disturbance was medically related but not contagious to humans -- and not the Vulcan chicken pox."

Sarek briefly scanned the electronic document. "Will the charges incurred during this incident be filed under miscellaneous medical expenses?"

Josef looked up at him. "You know about that?"

Sarek nodded.

"That is how I found out, too," Josef said softly.

"Really?" Sarek asked, not sure he'd believe anything Josef said but curious nonetheless.

"When I was working under the former CFO...I thought he was fudging numbers and I'd impress T'Zena and T'Pau with my investigative skills. I don't think they were precisely happy with my results..." He went and sat down at a chair across from Sarek. "But they find me useful when the police arrive."

"What happens to this couple now?" Sarek asked.

Josef blinked. "Well, officially this never happened. They're a fairly high profile couple, so they'll probably be encouraged to move to Vulcan. I wouldn't be surprised if they receive invitations to join the Vulcan Science Academy, and lab space and facilities beyond their wildest dreams.

"...and they'll be encouraged to be discreet," Josef said. "In return for their discretion, Vulcan High Command will work to see that his family doesn't create a fuss and try to force them to unbond."

"Really?" said Sarek. "I would have thought High Command would be interested in seeing the bond broken..."

"They used to encourage that as a matter of policy..." Josef said. "But after the bond is broken humans are much more likely to talk...heartbroken...angry...you know how illogical humans can be."

Josef pushed up his glasses and stared hard at Sarek a heartbeat too long. Was he challenging Sarek?

Sarek decided to give an answer he expected the human would not expect. "A broken bond is a difficult thing."

Josef tilted his head. His jaw clenched and he looked down for a moment. "T'Zena and T'Pau orchestrated this change in policy about fifteen years ago...the hardliners don't like it, but they are interested in keeping things quiet as long as they can.

"Personally, I think they don't want you guys to know you have choices. Right now...with Pon Farr...with your need to bond, you need to find a nice logical Vulcan girl or you'll die. And that forces you to stay within the fold, to stay logical, to not break the rules." Josef adjusted his glasses on his nose. "I told T'Pau as much one time."

Sarek did his best not visibly display his discomfort. It wasn't just the words 'Pon Farr' that set him off... Surak's teachings were, at one point, 'just an idea.' No wonder T'Pau wanted Friedmann watched.

Sarek took a breath. There was a problem with Josef's theory. "If keeping Vulcans in the dark is so critical, why bring them home to Vulcan?"

Josef looked up. "Because you have no yellow journalism on Vulcan. The only people who would know is Nivock's family, and possibly families that try to join Nivock's immediate family through marriage. Their neighbors might know, but it is in such poor taste...seen as so disrespectful to gossip on Vulcan...it won't go very far. Ironically, if you want to keep Vulcans in the dark about human Vulcan couples, Vulcan is the best place to hide them...which is why all the high profile couples tend to be recalled."

"Ah, yes," Sarek said. "Our press has no Most Eligible Bachelor features."

"Precisely," said Josef. "No yellow journalism whatsoever. There are some anonymous postings on bulletin boards and there have been a few sensationalist articles here and there in the Terran press, initiated by friends or family. But no human in a Vulcan bond will confirm the relationships. The stories tend to die --"  
"What if the couple will not go back to Vulcan?" Sarek asked.

"The offers tend to be too good to refuse...there was one...maybe you've found him. A martial arts expert..."

"Milock," said Sarek.

"Yes, that is him," said Josef. "Have you met? He is an incredible guy."

"You were there when the police arrived at the scene? How did you get the call completely obliterated from the police files?" Sarek asked.

"Oh, I wasn't there for that escapade," Josef said, sitting back in his chair. "That was the cover-up I first discovered. Apparently, the head of Vulcan security didn't interact with the police very well. It turned into a major diplomatic hush-hush incident. It was only three years ago during the last major SNAFU that they started relying on me when the authorities become involved."

"So you met Milock..."

"On my own," said Josef.

"And he talked to you? That was far from discreet of him," Sarek said.

Josef's face went red. "I convinced him I was on official business." Standing up abruptly, Josef pushed his glasses up again. "Good night, Sarek."

x x x

Three minutes later Sarek was on a subspace call with Vulcan.

"These...situations...could potentially be dangerous to the underpinnings of our society," Sarek said. Technically, the use of the word potentially kept this from being a lie. Personally, he was of the opinion too few Vulcans would ever seek mates outside of their own species for it to truly be a problem, but he'd keep that opinion to himself.

Logical diplomacy was like 3D chess with words. The rules, speaking the truth, the goal...discover the true risks involved in bonding with a human without letting that goal be known.

Hopefully establishing his bona fides as a skeptic he could get the information he really wanted. "How long has this been going on and how many couples are there?" Sarek asked.

T'Pau took a breath. "Since first contact there have been...unions. We suspect only as few as one hundred fifty couples."

Sarek tilted his head. Excellent; an adequate sample size.

"The current policy of containment is working," T'Pau said quickly.

"Accidents in bonding could potentially be extremely...inconvenient. A botched bond, or one that deteriorated over time could conceivably damage a human irreparably, how do we deal with such situations?" Sarek asked.

"I understand your concerns," T'Pau said. "There have been accidents; in about 25% of cases there has been headaches, and nausea, but no lasting damage."

"Who knows about these situations...officially, and what are their thoughts on this policy of containment?" asked Sarek, curious to know who would be in opposition to him.

"Only a select few among High Council..." She informed him of the various opinions of the officers in the High Council and how they had deduced that granting 'amnesty' to Vulcan-Human couples was 'logical.' Some of those in opposition shouldn't have surprised him -- but they did.

One of Sarek's own uncles, as well as two members of T'Zena's clan, including her own father, were still fighting to have T'Pau's current policy overturned.

Sarek returned home. Amanda didn't greet him. Controlling his concern he checked on Sybok -- and found Amanda too, in Sybok's room, curled up asleep behind his son. He wasn't sure what the motivation was for such sleeping arrangements. It was not what he would expect from a Vulcan, but Amanda was not Vulcan.

He tilted his head. T'Sala had been nearly a female mirror image of himself. She had the same interests, abilities and a similar temperament. Amanda was very different from T'Sala, but she complemented Sarek just the same.

...and Sybok looked comfortable. Sarek decided to let them both be.

In his home office he canceled his PI and then he went downstairs to meditate.

x x x

Amanda was lying in the desert by an oasis wearing clothing in the style of a belly dancer -- which is to say, not much. She was sleepily hugging a black rock that was still hot from the sun. She was too hot. She shifted her arm. The rock moved slightly.

Ah...she was dreaming. Which meant she was asleep. Sleep was nice, but she was still too hot. In her dream she took a breath, and maybe in the real world too because the breath didn't smell like desert. It smelled like...

...Vulcan toddler. Huh.

Pulling herself upright she opened her eyes to dim light. She recognized Sybok's tiny form next to hers.

The evening before came rushing back. As soon as Sarek dematerialized Sybok started to cry. She went to his room and picked him up to comfort him. He'd placed a tiny hand on her forehead and she felt her stomach lurch with fear, and a picture of Sarek backlit by red light danced through her mind. Had it been an image of Sarek on Vulcan? Had Sybok put the picture there or was it her imagination.

Amanda managed to quiet the little guy, but every time she tried to put him down he started a tantrum. Grabbing the safety railing on his little single he'd shaken with such force the wood creaked and groaned ominously. Amanda's arms were exhausted from holding Sybok -- he was so much heavier than a human child. She climbed into bed with him and held him there until he went to sleep. Evidently, she'd passed out herself.

Looking between the cracks in the shade over Sybok's window Amanda estimated it was about four in the morning. There was a little bit of light outside. Turning her head to the door she thought she saw the faint glow of yellow light. Slipping around Sybok she made her way out his door, gently closing it behind her.

There was definitely a light coming from downstairs. Sarek must be home.

She found him in the living room, sitting in lotus position, his head tilted, eyes open, staring directly at her. His ornate robes were gone. He was wearing the simple outfit Amanda always regarded as pajamas: loose pants, with a light long sleeve top buttoned up the front. She noted his attire provided significantly more coverage than her pajamas.

Suddenly conscious of her braless-ness she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Goodmorning, Amanda," said Sarek. "Thank you for watching Sybok."

"You're welcome," said Amanda. She was too uncomfortable to even be curious about where he'd gone. More than anything she wanted to run, wanted to be home, she did not want any more uncomfortable conversations with her Vulcan.

"Um...do you think I could borrow some clothes?" she asked. There was no way she'd get into a cab with what she had on now.

"You are cold?" Sarek asked standing up. "I could turn up the heat, I turned it down a little for your benefit --"

"No, its just that I'm practically naked!"

Sarek looked her up and down.

"I feel naked," said Amanda closing her eyes.

"Ah...I see." Sarek began unbuttoning his top.

What was he doing? Was he going to give her his shirt? Sarek began pulling the garment off his arms. Amanda looked at the floor. Please don't let him be bare chested underneath. Don't look up...don't look up.

She looked up. He was not bare chested. She felt inappropriately disapointed...although, the fitted black tee he was wearing did actually provide a nice outline of his...

Inappropriate, Amanda.

Stepping forward Sarek put the shirt over her shoulders, his warm dry fingers briefly coming into contact with her skin. Amanda felt herself go warm in ways that were very inappropriate...oh, for the convenience of her lost days of asexuality.

Wait. Vulcans did not touch...not even momentarily, accidentally...

Sarek did not withdraw after putting the shirt over her shoulders. "I have some things to discuss with you," he said putting his arms behind his back.

He was standing too close. The only other time he'd been this close was when he'd touched her forehead weeks ago and they'd had that talk.

"Ummm..." said Amanda. Which wasn't what she wanted to say of course, but what came out anyway.

"I have recently become privy to information I did not have access to before," said Sarek. "It is possible for humans and Vulcans to bond, although there are slightly more risks involved than between Vulcan pairs."

Oh. Wait. What?

"Risks?" asked Amanda. The closeness of Sarek's body was beginning to make her disorientated. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was in his house, in the wee hours of the morning, after being beamed here practically naked...

"Yes, apparently headaches and nausea result in 25% of bondings but no fatalities or permanent mental injuries. Which as I explained was my primary objection to a..." He tilted his head. "I believe the Terran term would be a romantic relationship. The concept does not exist on Vulcan. But I suppose that is the most accurate description of our relationship, until we can bond...it might take a few weeks for me to find a healer. Someone who is discreet. But I believe I have a lead --"

"A few weeks?" stammered Amanda.

"Yes," said Sarek.

"A few weeks to find a healer -- or a few weeks until we bond?" she said softly.

Sarek tilted his head. "If you are willing...Both?"

Amanda blinked. Her jaw dropped.

At least he made it a question and added the 'if you are willing part'.

Amanda articulated the first thing that came to her mind. Which was a blank. "Ummmm..." she managed.

**A/N:**  
I think Sarek is being very logical, actually. Do you disagree?

Reviews are the only way fanfiction authors and our very overworked betas get paid. If you liked please hit the review button and let us know.


	29. Expectations

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda, nor do I profit from them**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Expectations and Explorations**

"Well...." said Amanda.

She seemed to have been rendered incoherent. Sarek searched his data banks. It was possible to be rendered speechless with joy...However, Amanda's face did not seem to be contorted into a joyful countenance. Her eyes were slightly wide, her brow slightly furrowed. She looked concerned, or as though she were deep in thought.

Granted it was a proposition that deserved adequate consideration. And yet, just a few weeks ago she had been ready to pursue a romantic relationship. A thought occurred to him that was quite...unsatisfactory.

Perhaps she was only interested in pursuing a _romantic_ relationship, not a permanent relationship? But she always described the partners in her romantic relationships as 'potential husbands,' which meant she was seeking permanence. And he seemed to possess none of the flaws that her other suitors had.

He had not misled her about his body mass. She did not find him boring or unintelligent. He did make her laugh -- apparently to the point where she was rendered unable to breathe, which seemed a particularly backwards bit of human evolution; akin to the red deer of Ireland whose antlers grew to be so wide they could no longer fit between the trees of their native habitat and subsequently went extinct. But still, she had been happy, and that was what was desired of a potential husband among humans.

She did find him attractive. Not only had she said so on several occasions, he'd felt it through his own hands.

He had a career -- although, not one that suited him. Nonetheless, that would be temporary. He would return to astrophysics soon enough...And then to Vulcan? Maybe on contemplation, she had found that idea unsatisfactory?

He opened his mouth...tilted his head...stopped.

It was illogical to presume the reasons for her hesitancy without a mind meld, but as that was inadvisable...

"You have concerns," he said.

"A few weeks?" she asked again.

Sarek blinked. "That is my estimate. But what are your concerns, Amanda? Perhaps I can alleviate them? Perhaps it is that you perceive that it is a foregone conclusion that we would return to Vulcan after my stint at the Embassy ends; however, that is not necessarily the case. Compromise is logically a part of every partnership --"

"Only a few weeks," said Amanda, "until we are bonded, which is essentially married."

"It is more like a betrothal," said Sarek. "Marriage in Vulcan culture occurs later." In fact, it occurred at the time of Pon Farr. Even pairs on their second partnership tended to wait to couple until Pon Farr, simply out of the convenience of it. Sexual congress took time, and produced offspring...which also took time. He winced inwardly, at some point he would have to tell her about Pon Farr...but not until she agreed to bonding. To not bond with her, and then have her speak of the matter to other humans --

"But you told me last time bonding touches all areas of the brain, even the brain-stem, and it is permanent," said Amanda.

"In most cases, yes," said Sarek.

"Then it _is_ essentially a marriage," said Amanda.

"I suppose that there is no adequate comparison in Terran society. Metaphors are inherently fallacies and therefore--"

"A few weeks is not enough time to determine if we are compatible!" said Amanda.

"But we already know we are compatible. We stimulate each other intellectually, and physically we share mutual attraction. I am sure we have many issues to discuss, but compatibility --"

"We're compatible as friends, but that doesn't mean we're compatible as lovers. There are emotional issues to consider, physical issues, and cultural issues, and I do not think that a few weeks is enough time to explore all these issues," said Amanda.

She crossed her arms over her chest. Sarek briefly looked down as she did; he hadn't been this close to her in quite some time. He had an urge to drop his forehead to hers. Maybe she would see it as a gesture of sincerity on his part? It would be quite forward between an unbonded pair, but humans were forward...so maybe it would be a quite logical...

He dropped his head against hers. Her skin was cool and soft. "Please elaborate," he said.

She took a strange short, strangled breath. "Well, okay, since you want to play rough here, Sarek.."

Play rough? What did that mean? Had he bumped her forehead too hard?

"...here's a doozy for you. Sex before marriage, yes or no?"

"Actually, I believe sexual congress before marriage would be advisable." He did not want her first sexual encounter with him to be during Pon Farr when she'd have to tie him down and he was out of his mind.

Amanda took another strange breath. Her arms unwound from her chest and she placed her hands on his hips which was quite...satisfactory. He rolled his forehead over hers; his jaw twitched with the desire to mark her. She was, he realized, deliciously bare below the waist, with just the thin fabric of her pajamas. Perhaps some undergarment...but he suspected not. She smelled too feminine...after six billion years of evolution; his body could appreciate her as female. How...fascinating.

It was so disappointing that a bonding between them would have a 25% risk of side effects. He wanted to put his fingers to her temples now and let their minds merge as one, and then their bodies--they had exactly one hour and forty-five minutes before Sybok awoke. It occurred to him that during the weeks of their romantic relationship -- if they indeed pursued one, he would have to carefully guard against his urge to bond with her. Sarek's left hand fluttered up to her temples, but he carefully stroked her with the backs of his fingertips so he did not accidentally touch her mind.

Shuddering a little, Amanda suddenly pulled back. Her hands went to her hips and she stared up at him with an arched eyebrow. "And before bonding?"

Sarek froze. His eyes shot sideways. That suggestion was...was...He took a deep breath, swallowed. "I would find that unacceptable." He pulled his arms behind his back. Would he even be able to have sexual congress with her without bonding?

"And I find it unacceptable that I don't get to see you naked before we get permanently attached," Amanda said.

Sarek blinked. Well, then, it was not so bad. "I have no problem revealing myself without clothing to you. Although I wonder at the impetus. Are you concerned that anatomically we are incompatible? Because I can assure you that external Vulcan and human anatomy is essentially the same." He put his hands to the bottom of his undershirt and prepared to lift it over his head. Better to resolve issues as expediently as possible.

Amanda's hands went down to stop his. He felt a mingling of desire, nervousness, and confusion in her touch. "You better not do that, Sarek. I might do something unwise..." Her voice fell. "Like try to initiate sexual congress..." He blinked and looked down at their joined hands. She wasn't being completely serious...nor was she completely joking.

"That _would_ be unwise," Sarek agreed, stilling his hands. He took a breath. Full disclosure, in this case, was important. "If you were to attempt that, and I was to lose control of my physical reactions, I would most likely initiate a bonding with you."

Arching an eyebrow again Amanda looked up at him. "So for Vulcans, bonding is an essential part of sexual congress?"

"I do not believe so." He thought back to his brief conversation with the Orion, Tiressa. He had wanted her physically, but he had had no desire to bond. "With you, however, I do not believe I would be able to restrain myself."

For a Vulcan just the mention of an inability to show restraint was shameful. From another Vulcan this confession might have aroused pity. At best he could have expected sympathy.

Amanda's hands were still on his. He felt no shame. No pity. Instead he felt confusion...and...hopefulness?

"So, let me get this straight," she said softly. "You are afraid that if we have sex you might slip up and bond with me...essentially marry me...because of the way you feel about me?"

The word _feel_ was troublesome, but accurate. "That assessment is correct," he said, looking down to her fingertips resting atop his hands. Like the time when she'd touched his hands in sympathy, he wished he could turn his hands over so that her fingertips were someplace more receptive to telepathic -- or at least empathic -- transfer.

He took a breath, preparing to turn his hands over. So forward...but appropriate given the stakes?

Before he could do so, both her hands went to his face. Her emotions jumped from her to him with such force that for a moment he could not see. There was desire in the background, but mostly he was hit by an overwhelming affection. It was. Very. Acceptable. Breathless, he opened his eyes. He hadn't realized he'd shut them. Her eyes were leaking. But she was not sad.

Shaking her head, Amanda said, "That is...The sweetest thing ever, Sarek."

Lifting herself on tiptoes, her eyes drifted downward to his mouth. And then she slowly touched her lips to his. She was kissing him. He should have expected that, but of course he hadn't. In Terran movies and entertainment, he always associated kissing with sexual relations, but still it was affection at the forefront of her consciousness.

And then...a little disappointment. "You...don't kiss before bonding?" she asked.

"I have never kissed before," Sarek said. It must have been obvious.

"Vulcans don't kiss?" she asked.

"Not as a standard part of sexual response," said Sarek. He felt that this might be a problem. "I am willing to attempt it again."

He felt a flare of arousal from her. Taking her hands off his cheeks, he pressed his finger tips to hers. Dropping his mouth to hers he felt her lips move against him. It wasn't unpleasant. Nor was it particularly arousing. He could feel her disappointment. He was not sure what he should do, so he pulled back.

"Maybe it just takes practice?" she said. He could feel some hopefulness.

"I am amenable to practice," he said. She obviously found it important.

Amanda lifted herself on her toes again and once more pressed her lips to his. They were cool and soft, as was the skin of her face. Again her lips moved against his.

And then she pulled back. Sarek could feel some confusion from her. "You're supposed to move your lips, too," Amanda said.

Sarek tilted his head. "I see. Thank you for the explanation. Shall we try again?"

"Okay," said Amanda.

They tried again, Sarek attempting to mimic her movements. In response, Amanda pulled back and said, "I thought you were going to try and move your lips."

"I did," Sarek replied.

"Oh..." said Amanda. He could feel disappointment and embarrassment through the link. Sarek did not feel embarrassed. It took time to learn new skills, after all.

After a few more tries, Amanda said, "This isn't working."

Sarek could clearly feel disappointment through the contact between them. She sighed. "What do Vulcans do...is there an equivalent of a kiss?"

"Yes," said Sarek. "You've experienced it before."

"I have?" asked Amanda. "When?"

In response, Sarek dropped his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. Their hands were still joined, palm to palm, finger to finger. He let his emotions flow to her, just as he accidentally had when her laughter had knocked down all his mental shields. His mind went black, and his vision darkened, as it did when he indulged in these feelings. Once T'Sala had been the light in his darkness -- but now it was Amanda. He let her see that, and how much he wanted to keep her, mark her, protect her.

Amanda moaned, very low, and very softly. Her arousal sparked across his fingertips. Sarek felt the urge to bring his hands to her temples again. Inhaling deeply, he interlocked his fingers with hers to diminish the telepathic contact, and to help him keep his hands down. He needed to maintain control.

"Ummm...that is...that is...really, really, great," Amanda whispered. She took a sharp little breath. "But if we're going to avoid...a situation...where you might want to bond with me immediately, maybe we should stick to physical expressions of affection? I mean, ones which don't make you want to bond with me immediately..."

She pulled her forehead from his and looked up at him. "Do Vulcans have anything like that?"

Sarek tilted his head. It seemed inappropriate to mark her when they weren't officially bonded. But there was something he had thought about from time to time. Maybe if he was gentle...

Bending down he delicately took her bottom lip in his teeth and pulled away ever so gently, letting her lip slip from his teeth as he did.

Amanda squeezed his hands with a small, "Oh." Sarek closed his eyes and controlled his physical reactions to her small exclamation. When he opened them, Amanda was smiling up at him. "We might be able to work this part out."

"Good," said Sarek. "We should discuss other issues then. Topics that come to mind are intolerance from our families, as well as from our respective governments. Neither of our planets officially allows interspecies marriages, however --"

Amanda pushed her lips to his again, which made intelligible articulation completely impossible. Pulling away quickly she said, "Sarek, can we please work on what is between us before we start worrying about our families and interspecies law?"

"What does that entail precisely?" Sarek asked.

"Well, for now I would like it to entail more kissing from me and more nibbling from you."

He felt himself go warm just from the suggestion, but it also made him slightly anxious. "May we discuss the limits of such physical engagement?"

"Nothing below the neck?" asked Amanda.

"Agreed."

"You're supposed to negotiate lower," said Amanda.

"I am quite satisfied with the limits as you have delineated them," said Sarek.

She wiggled her fingers free from his. Sighing, she placed her hands on either side of his shoulders and began to slide them up his neck.

"Okay, but I get to touch your ears," she said, slipping small, cool, soft fingers up from base to the tips of his lobes. He should have anticipated that. He had to fight back a rumbling in his chest.

Sarek swallowed. "Perhaps we should renegotiate our terms..."

She pinched both tips of his ears simultaneously and he could not restrain _both_ the rumbling in his chest and the warmth spreading to other conspicuous parts of his anatomy...so he let his chest rumble.

"You're purring!" said Amanda.

"Actually, technically a purr denotes rumbling on both inhale and exhale and --"

She pinched his ears, harder this time. The volume of the rumble from his chest increased. "And?" she whispered before taking a 'nibble' from his upper lip as he had done to her.

"It is not an important distinction," he said softly before taking her bottom lip in turn.

**A/N:**  
Thanks everyone for reading! If you enjoyed please review. It's the only way Notes and I get paid.


	30. Further Investigations

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Amanda or Sybok, nor do I profit from them...what a horrible business model.**

Special thanks to my beta Notes from the Classroom.

**Further Investigations**

Sarek stopped the hover in front of Amanda's house. From the back came the sound of clapping. Turning with a smile, Amanda touched two fingers to Sybok's. She felt a flicker of excitement and sadness. "Yes, you'll see me again soon, little guy," she said, withdrawing her fingers. "I have to give your daddy his clothes back."

She turned her eyes to his father. And...felt a bit uncomfortable. "Well..." she said.

"Thank you for watching Sybok on such short notice," said the man whose shirt and pants she was wearing, whose lips she'd just been nipping a few hours ago. She felt full of butterflies.

He...looked like he always did. His expression was completely blank and unreadable, the very model of Vulcan control.

"It was no problem," she said. She tilted her head. Spit it out, Amanda, spit it out...if she couldn't say what she needed, this would never work.

Swallowing, she said, "Generally, in circumstances like this, a kiss goodbye is customary."

"I think we both agree, I am far from acceptable at kissing," Sarek said tilting his head.

Actually, that was true...although he had made up for it. "Well..." she said again. She really didn't want to make him uncomfortable; she just really wanted some acknowledgment that things had changed.

Sarek looked at the controls of the hover and then at the space between them. Not looking up, he said, "This is not usually done between unbonded adults."

Amanda was about to speak, but before she could, Sarek slowly slipped two fingers towards her beneath the line of sight of anyone who might be passing by. "But perhaps this will be an acceptable compromise?"

Amanda stared at his fingers, then slipped two of her own towards him. As he lightly stroked the pads of her index and middle fingers, she understood why this practice wasn't acceptable between unbonded pairs. He had not forgotten what had passed between them. The warmth that flickered from her fingers up to her core was dangerous.

Closing her eyes she nodded, "Yes, that is acceptable."

Opening her eyes, she realized she still wanted to kiss him, though. It was instinctual. But from his hesitance in initiating the light finger touch, it was obvious he was going against his instincts, too. A compromise. Just one of many they'd have to make if they wanted this to work.

"I'll drop off your clothes tomorrow night, after T'Lana leaves," Amanda said.

Sarek nodded, fingers still on hers. Despite his blank countenance, she could tell he found that suggestion completely agreeable.

A few minutes later she was entering the kitchen of her house. Carrie was sitting at the kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee. "I didn't know you were out." And then Carrie's eyes got very wide. "Are you wearing Vulcan pajamas?"

"I don't know if they actually are pajamas per se..." Amanda looked down at the shirt and drawstring pants Sarek had lent her; they were the only pair he had that didn't slide over her hips. She'd had to roll up the fabric around her ankles. "I look like a hobo." She wasn't even wearing shoes.

Looking up, Amanda saw Carrie blinking at her, coffee cup frozen in midair.

"Did you..." her roommate asked her.

"No!" said Amanda. "No, there was some sort of top secret Vulcan emergency and Josef beamed me to Sarek's house in the middle of the night to watch Sybok. But I was wearing only my pajamas --"

Carrie knew Amanda's taste in sleep attire. "You were practically naked by Vulcan standards, I bet."

"I suppose. They have...interesting takes on nudity." On the one hand they wore all the clothes. On the other hand, Sarek had seemed completely willing to demonstrate that his anatomy was compatible. Perhaps embarrassment over one's natural state was illogical? But then, why all the clothes...On Earth maybe for warmth, but they wore the long robes on Vulcan too...

"So, there is intergalactic espionage in our back yard...and you got to be the babysitter?"

Amanda blinked. "That sort of takes the glamour out of it."

Suddenly she was flooded with a wave of uncertainty. Was that the reason Sarek was pursuing her? Because she would make a good mom? She took a breath. Of course that was part of it. What parent would ignore the needs of their child while pursuing a new potential spouse? But that had better not be all of it.

She'd hardly seen Sarek alone at all since he'd returned to Earth with Sybok. They needed to go out and do things alone together. They needed a date night...which was terrifyingly what her married-with-children friends called it. She wasn't just dating an alien. She was dating an alien with _a child_.

...and yet happier about it than she'd been with potential husbands one through eight.

"You look like you could use a cup of tea," said Carrie, wandering out of the kitchen into the living room.

Amanda started to put the kettle on, and then she heard a click and a female voice, "_...In business news, dilithium crystal refineries on Terra are pushing for government support. We go now to Marsha Putin, the chief spokesperson for Terra Dilithia, Inc."_

At the word dilithium, Amanda followed her roommate into the living room.

On the television screen, a business woman in hard hat on a factory floor said, _"The Earth dilithium crystal industry is in its infancy. We believe it is in Earth's strategic interest to nurture our industry. Earth needs dilithium independence."_

Amanda felt a sense of foreboding.

x x x

Sarek spent Sybok's nap and night time rest looking up information on human courtship rituals. He got somewhat sidetracked by human physiology, which turned out to be highly fortuitous. It seemed that humans responded very positively to physical contact; touch from other humans promoted the release of neurochemicals responsible for bonding, and decreased hormones responsible for stress.

This was true throughout the human life cycle, not just in courtship situations. Human premies had a much higher survival rate if they received physical stimulation from their caregivers and parents. Human children that did not receive physical stimulation as infants risked an inability to bond later in life and could be permanently mentally handicapped. Some of the effects sounded quite similar to Vulcan children deprived of proper telepathic stimulation. Elderly humans were healthier if they received just seven minutes of touch per day from a caregiver -- and even the attention of pets had health benefits.

It was fascinating, practical information. Suddenly physical expression between himself and Amanda had a logical basis.

At 0155 San Francisco, Sarek called the martial arts studio in South Korea just before its 1900 closing time.

A teenaged male with a wide face, prominent cheek bones, narrow eyes, pale skin, and short jet black hair answered the call. Humans seemed to have as much physical differences as cultural. Sarek wondered if the narrowed eyes were an adaptation to the blowing sands of the deserts of Northwest China.

"Hello, this is Park Martial Arts studio; my name is Hyo. May I help you?" The human asked in Standard. At mention of the name, Sarek recognized Hyo as being one of Ms. Park's children.

"I would like to speak to T'gali Ahn Mai Milock," Sarek said.

Tilting his head back as though assessing him, the young human tightened his jaw. "Who are you?"

"My name is S'chn T'gai Sarek."

The lower part of the young man's face twitched. "Are you a member of his family or a friend?"

"No," Sarek answered.

"What is this in regards to?"

"That is a matter between myself and T'gali Ahn Mai Milock," Sarek replied, finding the young man quite impudent.

"Who do you work for?"

Perhaps if he knew Sarek's station he would react differently. "The Vulcan Embassy."

"His answer is still no. Don't call again," said the young man in a voice that was barely audible.

The line went dead.

x x x

Was she really up for this? Was every other moment going to be like the time in the hover the previous morning, an awkward explanation of her needs?

In front of the entrance to Sarek's home Amanda hesitated. Staring hard at the chime, she took a deep breath and hit the button.

Sarek was at the door a few moments later. His face, of course, was expressionless. His greeting..."Hello, Amanda, please come in." The same as ever. Handing him the bag she carried, she stifled her disappointment. Setting the bag down he shut the door and then everything did change. He immediately took her fingers in his own and gently touched his forehead to hers. Which--wasn't quite human--but it was still quite lovely. And maybe the fact that it was a little bit alien made it lovelier.

Pulling away quickly he said, "Please inform me if I am too forward."

Smiling, Amanda said, "Ummm...that was fine."

"Excellent, we must proceed to the kitchen quickly," he said, leading her by the fingers. "I perhaps inadvisedly left Sybok alone with pea soup."

x x x

"Sarek," Amanda said later after he'd put Sybok to bed, "would you please get a couch?"

They were in the kitchen. Amanda had her back to the counter and her hands on Sarek's hips. His forehead was atop hers, his hands rested on her arms. His touch almost felt feverish, but his skin was dry, without the clamminess of illness. It was exotic and sexy, she decided.

"Certainly," Sarek replied. "May I inquire about the motivation for this? I am sure it is logical, but I am curious."

"Because you're very tall, and I'm getting a crick in my neck making out with you."

"Ah, I see. Perhaps this will help." His hands went to her waist. Without any apparent effort he lifted her up and gently sat her down on the counter. The night of the Federation event Amanda had seen how effortlessly he seemed to hold Jason up by one arm, but for some reason the way he lifted her so easily was more shocking.

Looking up at her now, Sarek asked, "Do you have more concerns or requests?"

She was still slightly in shock by how strong he was...but he'd never hurt her, she reminded herself. And he never really lost control.

Shaking herself to clear her head, Amanda put her hands on his shoulders. "I think we need a date night. You know I love Sybok, but we can't really talk when he's around, and I miss the adult things we used to go to together. The art exhibits, the lectures..."

"I find myself in need of more mental stimulation, too, and it would be agreeable to eat a meal without dodging pea soup. I will work out a schedule with T'Lana. Perhaps once a week?"

That was too easy. Nodding with a smile, Amanda began to absent-mindedly rub his ears.

Leaning his head ever so slightly into her touch and closing his eyes he said, "I have a concern. Seeking a healer, I tried to contact another Vulcan I believe is in a relationship with a human. A human male adolescent, perhaps a teenager, answered the call --"

Amanda went cold and stopped rubbing his ears. "I'm not ready to bond yet."

Sarek's eyes opened. Putting his hands behind his back he said, "I understand that. However, I believe it wise to begin my investigation early. So that when--if--you are ready, I know of someone. Preferably someone with experience with humans."

Amanda looked hard at him. "Okay, as long as we're clear. What happened?"

When Sarek finished explaining his call to Milock, Amanda said, "I think maybe you need to establish from the get-go that your call is personal in nature..."

"It is difficult to talk...about personal matters..." Sarek's voice trailed off.

Raising an eyebrow, Amanda began to stroke Sarek's ears. "I have an idea for that. But it can wait for a little bit."

Amanda pinched his ears as she'd done the night before. The effect on Sarek was immediate; his eyes shut and his head lolled slightly. Disappointingly, he did not purr, though. Amanda had been sitting with her knees primly together, but now she opened them and pulled him closer -- literally by the ears--until their bodies were just touching each other. The purr she'd been seeking rose from his chest, and his whole body vibrated slightly. It was. Delicious.

His hands went from behind his back to the tops of her thighs. Amanda bit her lip as the heat and pressure of his hands went right to her core...But then the purr evaporated, his eyes shot open, his head pulled back and he quickly lifted his hands.

"Excuse me, Amanda, that was inappropriate. I did not realize..."

"Sarek," she said, looking him in the eye, "It was really..." she was about to say appropriate, but then realized that might be pushing her luck. And anyway, his chest vibrating against her had been really very wonderful. She decided not to risk it. "It was really okay. Your eyes were closed, you didn't see." She stroked his ears again. Swallowing, she said, "It would be completely appropriate, by human custom, for you to put your hands around my waist if that is more comfortable."

Sarek tilted his head and rested his hands on the counter on either side of her hips instead, but he brought his head close to hers again. She reached down and gently pulled on his ear with her teeth. Amanda heard the beginnings of the purr and his chest began to vibrate ever so slightly. Sarek swallowed. "The same terms of engagement....as last time..." he took a shaky breath. "Please."

"Nothing below the neck," Amanda promised. The purr returned in earnest, and Sarek leaned his head in so that his lips rested against the side of her neck and his chin just barely grazed her clavicle. Amanda could feel the slightest prickle of stubble; his skin and his breath were too warm. When he gently pulled at the skin of her neck with his teeth she actually moaned.

**A/N:**

If you were mildly entertained, please review. Its the only way Notes and I get paid.


	31. Curiosity Killed the Cat

**CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT**

On a Friday evening, two weeks later, Hyo answered again when Sarek called the Park Martial Arts Studio. Amanda had suggested he wait, she said Hyo sounded 'angry' and it would be good to give his emotions 'time to cool'. Also she'd said it would give him time to forget his name and number on caller ID.

The young man said, "I told you the answer is still --"

Sarek held up his comm; in the tiny vid screen he had a picture of himself with Amanda. They weren't physically touching -- but they stood very close to one another and she had a wide smile on her face.

Hyo looked down. "I'll get my _sa-mekh_," he said softly. Sarek tilted his head at the Vulcan word for father. The human and the Vulcan were family. It was very encouraging, even more so in its own way than Al-Mazroui and Nivack had been.

Pressing a button Hyo vanished from the screen; it must have been a mute button; even the light hum of static from the connection vanished.

Exactly four minutes and fifty-seven seconds later another face, familiar from Sarek's research, appeared in the screen.

Milock pressed a button and sound returned. "I understand you are Sarek, from the Vulcan Embassy. How may I assist you?"

"I seek a healer," said Sarek.

As he expected, he did not need to explain.

Milock said, "The Embassy healer that assisted my _aduna_ and me at the time of our bonding is no longer at the Embassy; she is now studying at Oxford. She is uniquely suited to work with humans."

"May I ask more of her qualifications?" said Sarek.

Milock nodded. "After her time at the Embassy she went to Oxford where she studied human psychology, neuroanatomy, neurochemistry and neurophysiology, and then founded the discipline of Human-Vulcan Comparative Psychology.

"Beyond her scientific interest she respects humans and their abilities. I would not trust any of the humans in my family with anyone else. You will be able to find her contact information without difficulty on the Oxford University website. Her name is T'Quill."

"Thank you," said Sarek.

"To provide assistance when it may prevent harm is completely logical. I am at your disposal, Sarek," Milock said. "If you have more mundane questions I will do my best to answer."

Milock appeared, in every sense of the word, a true Vulcan. His demeanor betrayed no emotion. His words were polite. It was apparently possible to be married to a human and not lose one's own culture.

"Human courtship rituals --" Sarek said.

Milock looked down. "That, unfortunately, is not something I would be able to help you with. My bonding happened in an emergency situation."

Sarek tilted his head.

The other Vulcan began to speak. "Eight years ago at the local university there was a display of artifacts that contained Dillinium dioxyillate. It is harmless to humans, but in Vulcans..." Milock's head was still bowed; he did not say more.

Sarek knew the rare substance could induce early Pon Farr in Vulcans; he did not ask for details.

Not raising his head Milock continued, "My bond had been severed a few months earlier at the behest of my bond-mate's family. I am infertile. She is an only child...Miss Park, my_ aduna _now, was a friend. On learning of my condition she insisted on aiding me."

Sarek blinked; it was a surprising amount of personal information to divulge.

Milock looked up at Sarek. "I tell you these things so you do not wait until the last minute as I was forced to. Our first experience together was..." He looked away again for a moment, then looked back at Sarek. "But the second time transpired without incident."

Sarek bowed his head respectfully, understanding how difficult it was for Milock to talk about these things. "Thank you for your forthrightness. I will endeavor to learn from your example."

Bowing his head in return, Milock said, "I must ask your forgiveness for my _sa-fu's_ rudeness to you the other day. When you said you were from the Embassy, he expected you to inconvenience me with yet another offer to relocate."

And suddenly Milock provided Sarek with an opportunity to conduct official business. "My colleague Josef Friedmann has contacted you regarding relocation?"

Milock lifted his head. "Josef Friedmann works for the Embassy?" The other Vulcan blinked. "Excuse me, I have had a brief acquaintance with a human of that name, but they must be completely different people."

Obviously, Josef had not contacted Milock about anything of an official nature. Sarek suddenly found himself with a crisis of conscience.

Tilting his head, Sarek merely said, "Perhaps. Thank you again for your time."

"If you, or your intended ever have questions," Milock said, "Please feel free to call. Or if you prefer, come visit."

x x x

Sarek pushed himself away from the monitor after the call and sat staring at the screen.

Josef had walked away from an Orion -- one he described as a 'lovely girl'. He found his status as 'Most Eligible Bachelor Honorable Mention' disrespectful.

Sarek felt his jaw twitch. This was more information than he wanted...and perhaps precisely the information T'Pau wanted.

Sarek understood why T'Pau thought Josef was dangerous. He possessed dangerous information.

If other species knew about Pon Farr, how long would it be before they discovered Dillinium dioxyillate, or managed to mutate one of the strains of virus that induced Pon Farr?

A Vulcan ambassador under the influence of a minuscule amount of Dillinium dioxyillate would have his mental functioning impaired but would not enter a full Pon Farr. He could be easily manipulated. Enemies of Vulcan could use viruses or Dillinium dioxyillate more dramatically to torture Vulcans while extracting information. Biological weapons could be created that could be used against large populations of his people.

...Then there was also the concern that public knowledge about Pon Farr would damage the reputation of Vulcans as the logical leaders of the galaxy...

Josef also possessed dangerous ideas. And he had spoken his mind to T'Pau -- he saw Vulcans' hiding of human-Vulcan bonds as a way of preserving Vulcan culture, of keeping young Vulcans 'in line'. Whether he had this as an agenda or not, T'Pau would view him with suspicion just for articulating this thought.

What was Josef's agenda? Apparently, it was partially personal -- and Sarek could guess who was it's focus.

Sarek decided to resolve this issue. He called T'Pau.

He did not talk about Josef at first. Instead he inquired about Al-Mazroui and Nivack.

"They have been offered positions with the Vulcan Science Academy," said T'Pau. "They will find the facilities are much better than the ones they tolerated on Earth."

It was just as Josef had said. Sarek asked a few more questions regarding the couple, voiced an opinion that it was rather convenient that Vulcan was acquiring two such distinguished researchers, and then he moved on to the subject that really interested him.

"Josef Friedmann does possess very dangerous information," Sarek said. "Although he is useful to us, Elder, if he has ever attempted to use that information for position, or monetary reward, it is illogical to continue to use his services. Certainly some other, more reliable human -- perhaps even one bonded to a Vulcan, could be used?"

T'Pau tilted her head. "I agree, continuing to use Josef's services if he had ever used this information for personal gain would be illogical. But he has not...yet."

"I see," said Sarek.

Really, all she was seeking was leverage, to see that he never did.

"I will continue my observations," said Sarek. He did not say anything of his suspicions....they were only suspicions. And Josef was very useful.

x x x

Lying face down on her couch, zipper of her favorite black dress opened all the way to the lower regions of her back, Amanda felt hot, dry Vulcan fingers at the clasp of her bra.

"This will be in the way; may I unhook it?" Sarek asked.

Turning her head so her mouth was not muffled by the pillow, Amanda managed to say without groaning, "Please, go ahead."

"This might be slightly painful at first," Sarek said softly.

"Nothing can be more painful than what I feel right now," Amanda replied. She tried to make an instinctual shrug...and closed her eyes at the fresh pain the attempt caused. She really, really hurt.

Hot dry hands came up to her neck, thumb tips pressed along the side of her spine. Her body stiffened...it did hurt. But as Sarek slowly made his way down her vertebrae and spread his hands out to massage the muscles of her neck, shoulders, and back it also began to feel better.

A few minutes later Amanda released a long breath. "It's working," she said. Where his fingers had traveled, her back felt looser, warm, and only slightly sore.

"I am pleased," said Sarek, his thumbs now at the vertebrae of her lower back, which managed to be both painful and ticklish at the same time. Amanda wiggled a little as Sarek's fingers fanned out towards her sides.

She was beginning to feel not just better -- but good.

"I think I will work my way back up your spine and then back down one more time. You should not feel any discomfort after that," Sarek said.

"Mmmmmm..." said Amanda.

It would probably be easier for him to do this if she was laying on her bed, he'd have more room to sit beside her. Or kneel over her. Hold that thought Amanda. He's touching your naked back. This is quite an accomplishment for one evening. How did she get here exactly?

About a half hour earlier Sarek had showed up at her door. He was wearing what seemed to be the Vulcan equivalent of a suit--fitted trousers, and matching coat without lapels, both made of a heavy dark gray wool-like fabric. The tailoring of the suit flattered him.

The first words out of his mouth were, "Amanda, you seem to be in pain."

She was wearing her favorite little black dress, three quarter sleeves, just below the knee length, dipped a little bit in front, and a little in the back, but nothing too shocking. She could even wear an ordinary bra beneath it. It was a dress that was easy to feel comfortable and sexy in. But not tonight. Sarek was, sadly, right.

Putting her hand on her neck she suppressed a wince. "I pulled a rather large child off another child during an altercation at school today and threw out my back." And her neck, the upper portion of her left shoulder...She'd taken several pain killers, but if they had done anything to alleviate her discomfort, Amanda wasn't aware of it.

It wasn't an auspicious first day back at teaching...nor was it a great start to their second official date. He'd made reservations at one of the nicer restaurants in town and Amanda was looking forward to candlelight and conversation without a toddler flinging puree across the room.

Moving to slip her feet into her black pumps she said, "I'll be alright, though." Managing to slip on the right shoe, she went to slip on the left and nearly fell over as the contortion the pumps put her spine in shot a bolt of fresh pain up her back.

Putting a steadying warm hand on her shoulder, Sarek had said, "Perhaps I can be of assistance?"

...and now she was lying on her stomach, half naked -- for all intents and purposes--her body slowly going to mush in a very good way.

Sarek began working his way up her spine. This time there was only the slightest discomfort from the press of his thumbs, and his fingers fanning out along her back muscles...she took a deep breath. She imagined those same warm dry fingers sliding around her chest to cradle her breast and shivered.

Sarek's hands froze for a moment. Please, please, don't have picked up on that telepathically.

"Are you cold, Amanda?"

"No, just an involuntary physiological response, I think. Please continue," Amanda said, blinking at her own deceit.

It was really quite amazing. Don't ask, don't ask, curiosity killed the cat, Amanda...or at least ended his back scratch. But she could not contain her curiosity. "Sarek, when we indulge in..." his thumbs pressed around another vertebrae and she bit her lip for a moment, "Physical expressions of intimacy, you never touch me below the neck. But now, you're touching my naked back and unhooking my bra strap..." She bit her lip again as his thumbs climbed a little higher. "It is a fascinating dichotomy..."

"By Vulcan logic this is not too forward...although would be more likely to be performed by a bond-mate or family member. It is necessary, so therefore not illogical." His hands stopped. "However, if by human morals this is too much --"

Closing her eyes she said, "No...no...not at all, Sarek. But it may become necessary for you to give me a back massage every night." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. She'd been trying to go easy on any sort of teasing that might be construed as sexual in nature, trying to be sensitive to his delicate Vulcan sensibilities.

Sarek pressed down on her a little more firmly than needed. "Very well," he said. "You are hardly in any position to bite."

Amanda's eyes snapped open. He was teasing her!

x x x

Sarek was pleased that he could relieve her back pain. It was true, he had to touch her skin to skin, and he was not unaffected. The coolness of her silky skin, her muscles that felt so much softer than a Vulcan's, and her soft vocalizations were alien, but still arousing. He had to exert control over himself, but it was nothing unbearable.

It was physical activity that had limits. Physical limits, he could confine his ministrations to only the muscles that needed soothing, and time limits -- after three passes down her vertebrae, he would be done. Amanda would receive pain relief, a reduction in the stress hormone cortisol, and a surge of oxytocin in her brain which would enable her to feel closer to him.

It was a compromise. They were testing each other's boundaries. Sarek would never have indulged in physical intimacy of the sort they'd been regularly practicing for the past few weeks if Amanda were not human. If Sarek were not a Vulcan, Amanda would have engaged him in activities that went below the neck.

When he quipped back, "You are hardly in any position to bite," he meant to make light of the situation. He knew that neither of them were completely satisfied with the way the physical aspect of their relationship was progressing, or as Amanda had put it, not progressing.

When Amanda's eyes shot open he wondered if he had blundered. Maybe there were some things you weren't supposed to make light of?

"It's no fair," said Amanda. "You're the one who always has control of the brakes."

Was she teasing him back -- why else use the colorful language? Or was she expressing disappointment? It was hard to say without telepathy. With all their cultural differences it would be so much easier to resolve these issues if they were bonded.

From the foyer came Amanda's roommate's voice. "Don't worry, my roommate is out tonight. We'll have the couch and the big screen vid all to ourselves." Then came a sound that could only be osculation...and the distinct aroma of pizza.

Fingers flying, Amanda had deftly hooked her bra back together in an instant. Hopping up, Amanda said, "Quick, help me zip up my dress."

Sarek wasn't quite finished pulling the zipper up when Carrie, Amanda's roommate, and an unidentified male paused in the door frame between the kitchen and living room. Sarek would have judged having both his hands on Amanda's zipper as a compromising position. Fortunately, Carrie and the male were not looking in their direction; their lips were locked together. Carrie's hands were on the man's shoulder. The man's hands were holding a pizza box aloft.

Pulling apart, the two finally noticed Amanda and Sarek.

Carrie blinked, "Oh hi, Amanda, Sarek...this is Brian."

Brian wasn't particularly remarkable looking. His features were not the most symmetrical, and although he was tall, he looked like he could have gone to the gym a little more and eaten less pizza.

Carrie did not move her hand from Brian's shoulder. If she had any shame Sarek could not see it. But why would she? This was how humans were.

"You want some pizza?" said Brian, no shame or discomfort evident in his countenance.

Sarek had been musing about Amanda's alien anatomy and physiology, but at that moment the vast difference between their cultures stood out in stark relief. For the first time since meeting Al-Mazroui and Nivack, Sarek wondered if his relationship with Amanda could ever work.

**A/N**

Uh-oh…Josef…

Yes...that T'Quill. She is in How the Mighty in "The Gift" (my only unfinished piece). She is also mentioned by Novasch in "The Vulcan", and by Spock in "Reunion".

Massage session...fun or evil tease? Bwa ha ha ha ---

If you were entertained, please leave a review. It's the only way Notes and I get paid!

--------------

**WRT Human/Vulcan "bonding epidemic": ** I don't think there is one. 150 couples in 167 years out of a steady population of 6 billion Vulcans (on Vulcan alone) is a really infinitesimally small number. Some have undoubtedly died by the time this story takes place too, if they were in their 100's when they bonded.

Before segregation ended in the south and when it was still illegal to intermarry there were probably more couples breaking the interracial marriage ban in a single year (See the history behind Love vs. The State of Virginia) than there are in the entire history of Vulcan - Human interaction (and the Vulcan Human populations of 2100-2200 were two much larger).


	32. Logical Moves

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Amanda or T'Pau  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom (Blue Horse Running & SF Girl & Padwawn Mom & Tea Oli…this chapter got quite a few corrections.)

**Logical Moves**

Amanda watched the scene on her front porch from Sarek's hover. "Maybe they're done now?" she said.

It was after dinner. Sarek was trying to see her home. Brian and Carrie were making it difficult. The two were standing outside the front door, alternately parting and pulling each other back for one last kiss. This had been going on for at least ten minutes.

She looked over at Sarek; he was staring at the couple. She wondered what was going through his mind.

"I suppose you find this behavior most illogical," Amanda said.

"I am not sure," Sarek replied. "Many behaviors that I identify as illogical in humans turn out to have logical basis. I presume this is their way of communicating that they do not wish to be parted. From a Vulcan perspective it would be simpler for them to agree to bond and be done with. However, without telepathy sentiments cannot be reinforced without constant communication. In addition, touch is the way humans strengthen their emotional ties...So this behavior accomplishes two goals, communication and bonding...it may be completely logical."

Amanda blinked. Well, that was amazingly open minded.

Finally, Brian managed to pull away from Carrie. He got about twenty feet from the door and Carrie blew him a kiss. For a minute she was afraid he was going to go back but he merely waved and headed off into the night. Carrie went back inside the house.

"Well..." said Amanda uncomfortably. The date had gone well, but ever since their little teasing bit of banter earlier Amanda had felt a little off. Sarek was great, but she didn't like being the one who always was out of control, who was always pushing him to go a little farther. She was trying not to push...which might be why they were getting nowhere. If she had to push now, would she be pushing the rest of her life?

She respected his morals. She understood that even on Earth some couples did not have sex before marriage. She wasn't sure she was comfortable with that choice for herself.

Of course he was an alien, and he said that for him part of the issue was his need to bond. She understood that on an intellectual level...but on an emotional level, she kept getting stuck. She respected marriage a great deal and wanted to make sure, if she got married, her union was on strong foundations, and sexual compatibility was important to her for a long-term relationship.

She might make a concession to having sex before marriage...if she felt more comfortable with the activities around the act, that might be enough...of course, she and Sarek had been parked in the 'nothing below the neck zone' for weeks, and she was always the initiator. Except for the back massage she'd received earlier and when he'd picked her up and put her on his counter, he was always, distressingly, true to the rules.

Sarek reached forward with two fingers, Amanda stared hard at his for a few moments, then reached out with her own, knowing he'd see her confusion.

Staring down at where their fingers touched Sarek said, "I will walk you to your door."

A few minutes later as her door whooshed open Amanda turned to him. "Thank you for dinner, Sarek. It was great to have you to myself again."

"I would think that you would find it boring without the excitement of dodging fruit puree," Sarek said.

Amanda chuckled softly. "Well, the evening may have been a little tame I guess --"

"Amanda, may I come?" As Sarek asked this he looked quickly down the street in either direction.

"Sure...okay, my roommate is probably still about --"

"I can only stay for eleven minutes and twelve seconds." Sarek said.

Ah yes, he had a babysitter, and very little time. He wasn't thinking of any extended bouts of physical intimacy. "Okay come in."

Turning to enter the doorway, she felt him fall into step very close behind her. As soon as they were clear of the doorway, a hot dry hand fell upon her hip. She froze.

"Amanda," Sarek said with an audible swallow, "I believe it is human custom to...am I being too forward?"

"No," she said. Turning around, she stopped. One of his hands was still on her hips, but she wasn't sure what she should do with hers.

Sarek wrapped his other hand around the back of her neck and very gently pulled down to brush her lips with his. It was a brush; he still was not a good kisser…but then his lips came back to hers again, and he took her bottom lip gently in his teeth.

Resting his forehead against hers he said, "I know you are frustrated with the physical aspect of our relationship. I ---"

The hand on Amanda's neck fluttered up to her cheek. They rarely indulged in empathic contact. Sarek found the compulsion to bond quite strong, and Amanda worried about sorting her feelings from his if they engaged in it too often. But right now, Amanda felt like he needed it.

"Go ahead," she said.

The fingers came to rest on her temples and Amanda felt a wave of want that was physical and emotional...and uncertainty. As always, there was that alien emotion -- protectiveness, desire, constancy, possession -- flitting like a dark will-o-wisp in the background. It made her feel so cherished, so wanted...

He was trying so hard. They were both trying very hard.

"If you are amenable, perhaps we can stretch the boundaries to the shoulders."

"That would be fine, Sarek."

The hand on her hip came up and pushed the neckline of her dress down her right shoulder. Sarek pressed his dry lips there, then gently pulled the skin with his teeth and sucked a little. His mouth was very hot, his want danced in her consciousness.

"Go ahead," she whispered, "Leaving a little mark is fine."

The little flitting will-o-wisp of dark emotion went from the background to the foreground in Amanda's mind. The pressure on the skin on her shoulder increased, and there was a sharp flash of...something...in her mind? On her shoulder? Amanda felt her whole body go hot; she moaned.

Sarek nuzzled the spot on her shoulder. For an instant an extra finger touched her face and Amanda heard?...felt?...saw? The word, _"__Mine,"_ in her mind. Amanda's whole body tingled with arousal, and she gasped for breath.

But then she felt a rush of shame that she knew came from Sarek, and he quickly dropped his hand from her temple.

"Excuse me, that was presumptuous, I..."

Amanda wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him. "Shhhh....that was great."

He took a long breath. "Amanda...I need my brakes." He was using the expression she'd used earlier in the evening.

Leaning her head against his chest she whispered. "And...I would like it if you reminded me of that from time to time."

It was so quiet that if she hadn't have been leaning against his chest Amanda might night have heard the quiet rumbling beginning there. He wanted to let go of his control...and when he did even just a little it was great. She felt like they might actually work this out.

x x x

The light was on in the kitchen, Amanda thought she'd just sneak by...

"I see you," said Carrie, running into the hallway from the kitchen.

Amanda turned with a smile, prepared to indulge her roommate's curiosity.

"Have a nice date with your Vulcan, Amanda?" Carrie asked with a head tilt and a smile.

"I did," said Amanda, preparing quips for questions about green penises.

Carrie leaned against the wall. "Aren't you going to ask me about my evening? Hot dress by the way."

Wait, that wasn't a question about hot alien sexual practices or green anatomy. Amanda's brow furrowed, and she looked down at her dress. "Um...thanks. How was your evening?"

"I have met the man I'm going to marry," Carry declared with a smile.

What? Where were the questions about Vulcan telepathic kissing? "Brian? Wasn't that date number three?" Which was pizza and a movie...at home...and Brian just seemed so...not extraordinary.

"Yep," said Carrie. She shrugged. "When you know, you know."

"Have you....you know...you know?" Amanda said gesturing vaguely with her hands.

Carrie's eyes got wide. "On the third date? No!"

"But you said you're going to marry him --"

Carrie blinked. "But I'm sure it will be fine."

Amanda tilted her head. And there she was thinking Sarek was just Vulcan-crazy...

But it's more reasonable to be sure that things will work when both partners are at least the same species.

Walking into the bathroom, Amanda shook her head. "Don't tell Sarek." The two did chat from time to time when Sarek came by.

From behind her came Carrie's voice, sounding very confused. "Well, okay..."

Turning to shut the bathroom door Amanda found her roommate grinning wickedly. "So did you get below the neck?"

Closing the door with a smile Amanda said, "Good night, Carrie."

"I'll take that as a yes," said Carrie from the hallway. She began to hum.

Feeling a bit of a prickle at her shoulder, Amanda peeled back her dress, and gasped.

Sarek had bitten her so hard there were teeth marks.

She blinked...it had actually been really sexy.

x x x

Returning to work on Monday Sarek found a message from T'Zena to see her in her office. Sarek tilted his head.

He suspected he could easily prove or disprove his theory about T'Zena and Josef simply by getting a private investigator, but he had no plans to hire a PI. He would continue to monitor their behavior as he had been doing. They had done nothing to arouse his suspicions at the office. It was only his own call to Milock, which the High Council would find dubious in and of itself, that had triggered his suspicions.

And on meditation, Sarek was finding he had to realign his judgment of Josef's character. He had mistrusted Josef because of illogical prejudice. First, he had been mistrustful of Josef's capabilities as a CFO. Granted, the need for memory aiding devices was a particularly annoying human handicap, but Josef's end results were more than satisfactory. Second, he had been mistrustful of the human because of T'Pau's prejudice...and her prejudice seemed based on fear of the human, not on any logical basis that Sarek could see.

Sarek wondered if bonding had all of the same effects on human men that it did on Vulcans. Certainly, Josef didn't seem to have any trouble walking away from Orions. But Josef had seemed flirtatious towards Amanda, the Federation Ambassador, and Caroline Cross from the non-federated planets -- although never towards T'Zena herself. Sarek wondered how any Vulcan woman could put up with him -- but maybe Sarek was judging Josef from a Vulcan perspective. Maybe humans would just find him friendly? Anyone bonded to him would be privy to his true intentions.

Sarek decided he needed to get to know T'Zena and Josef both a little better.

Standing up from his desk, Sarek surveyed the message from T'Zena one more time and then walked down the hall to the Ambassador's office.

"Sarek," said T'Zena said, a very slender PADD in hand. "There was an error in transmission when we were sent your retinal scan for the renewal of your contract. T'Pau asked that I resolve this issue personally."

She handed the PADD to Sarek. Scanning and verifying the contents he pressed the retinal scan button and paused as the scanner caught his eye. Pressing one more button, he handed the PADD back to T'Zena.

"Thank you for interrupting your busy schedule for this trivial matter," Sarek said. He tilted his head. Now for the difficult part. "I find I am more amenable to staying longer on Earth than I expected."

As a rule, Vulcans did not engage in frivolous conversation nor express opinions without being prompted. This was quite an admission from Sarek.

"Indeed?" said T'Zena, drawing up straighter.

"Humans are a much more fascinating species than I originally anticipated," Sarek said. "I have come to realize that some of their seemingly illogical behaviors actually have logical basis."

T'Zena blinked. "I believe many of their behaviors can be explained by their lack of telepathy."

"Indeed, I have reached the same conclusion," said Sarek.

"Do you still find their sense of humor illogical?" T'Zena asked.

Remembering his first altercation with her early in his assignment, Sarek said, "That depends on the joke."

The Ambassador tilted her head.

Bowing, Sarek took his leave.

Later that same week Sarek finally managed to play chess with Josef over lunch. They played for time, in the public eating area shared by all the staff of the Embassy, so there was no chance to ask personal questions -- but Sarek hoped he was 'building rapport', as humans said. The only thing he learned from the game was that Josef was a skilled chess player...which was actually quite satisfying. Sarek hadn't played a good game since coming to Earth. Sarek won, but only just.

He decided he would play Josef at least once a week.

x x x

It was four weeks -- two wins and two losses -- before Sarek got to play Josef some place other than the public eating area.

Amanda had to cancel their 'date night' due to an emergency meeting with one of her student's parents. Sarek found himself with a babysitter and no plans.

They played in Josef's office. For the first time, there weren't curious Vulcans or humans hanging over their shoulders. It was after hours. T'Zena was visiting a consulate in Australia. Most of the staff were gone. Those who were left were holed up in their own offices.

Halfway through the game, Sarek ventured a question that had been nagging at him.

"Mr. Friedmann," he said, "you are of the opinion that Vulcans keep their young men in line by hiding the feasibility of interspecies bonding from them...yet you do nothing to publicly reveal this state of affairs."

Josef was staring at the board and moved his rook. He was black today. "Revealing the state of affairs would mean revealing the couples...it could be tragic for some of them to have their relationships exposed..."

If one didn't look through the prism of prejudice, Josef could almost seem like a moral being.

"Sooner or later," the human said, eyes focused on the board, "there will be too many of...too many to ignore. Or someone will step forward publicly."

Sarek tilted his head. Would such an event be beneficial to Vulcans as a whole? Also, what logical reason could there be for revealing one's self publicly?

Moving his knight to corner Josef's queen, Sarek said, "Check."

**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading!**

The next chapter is a douzy-- all S&A, and probably should not be read at work so I'm thinking of publishing again tomorrow.

If you were mildly entertained, please leave a review, it's the only way fanfiction authors and their hard working betas get paid.

Oh, started a forum, so if you find anything annoying or illogical about my little universe you can start a debate there. (Click my profile then the forums link)


	33. On the Down Low

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek, Amanda or T'Pau**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom...she's written another Spock/Sarek/Nyota/Amanda story "Slips of the Tongue"...I've favorited it, check it out!  
**  
On the Down Low**

Four months went by.

Sarek and Amanda's romantic relationship did not show up in any yellow journalism tabloids, nor did Sarek receive any urgent calls from the Vulcan High Council or his mother. As far as Sarek knew, their courtship went unnoticed by any other Vulcan.

This was despite Amanda's parents' knowledge of their relationship, and despite going on several outings with Carrie and Brian -- a fascinating individual currently exploring the economic feasibility of terraforming Altos-5.

When they _were_ noticed it occurred in the most obvious place -- and was precipitated by his own illogical behavior.

x x x

It wasn't date night--just an ordinary evening in late November. Amanda came over; she played with Sybok while Sarek prepared their meal.

During dinner Amanda said with a smile, "Guess where I'm going with my family for Christmas?"

"You are teasing me. There are infinite locations --"

"Mars!" Amanda said.

Sarek's fork slipped from his fingers and landed with a clang on his plate. At just that moment Sybok shot a pea from his mouth across the room. Turning quickly towards Sybok, Amanda didn't see Sarek's hand tremble.

Taking away Sybok's bowl of peas, Amanda said, "No more ammo, for you, Mister."

When she turned back, a wide grin was on her face. "Since my brother is too busy working on Mars Colony's legal charter to come home, we're going to see him -- only for a week...but isn't it exciting! I've never been on an interstellar trip before. The farthest I've gone is in orbit."

Pulling his hand into his lap, Sarek looked at his plate. "It will be an interesting experience, and good to reconnect with your family."

He listened to the details of her trip, wishing he could make light commentary, but found he could not. This behavior on his part was completely unacceptable.

Later that evening, when Sarek put Sybok to bed, it took him an extra twenty minutes to quiet the child. Sybok sensed Sarek's unease.

So did Amanda.

"Something is bothering you, Sarek," Amanda said after Sybok was finally asleep. She was sitting on Sarek's lap, facing him. Sarek's hands rested on her hips. They had been sitting like this for over a month when they engaged in physical bonding behaviors -- confined to just blow the shoulders. He was not in the mood for these behaviors now. Well, he did want to bite her, but she would not enjoy it unless he established an empathetic link with her, and that would be unwise in his current emotional state.

"Have I done something wrong?" Amanda asked, stroking his ears. Usually this would have evoked a purr, but but he was too ill at ease. It was unfortunate that his species were such poor liars. He would have liked to pretend he was content.

Meeting her eyes he said, "You have done nothing wrong." Which was true.

She stopped stroking his ears. "Please tell me what is bothering you."

"I obviously did not get enough meditation the past few nights," Sarek replied. Which was also true.

"Sarek --"

Turning his head to the side he said, "You should leave, Amanda; my behavior is quite illogical."

He was humiliated at his lack of control. He knew it wasn't anything he said that had tipped her off, or anything he had done...it was everything he hadn't done in the past few hours. He'd been quiet ever since she told him the news; he hadn't teased her. After he put Sybok to bed he hadn't touched her fingers. He didn't want to inconvenience her with his feelings.

He shouldn't have let her talk him into sitting down.

"What is illogical is not telling me what is wrong," Amanda said.

"That is a human response," Sarek replied.

"I'm human."

Lifting a hand he stroked the arch of her ear. "I have noticed," he said, at last finding some way to add levity to the situation.

Smiling slightly, she put her hand over his. "Please tell me what is wrong."

"It is illogic--"

"You've said that. Quit beating around the bush or I'll think it is me," she said.

"That would be illogical on your part, as I would not lie," said Sarek.

She drew her brows together slightly. "Everything was normal when I first arrived..."

Arching an eyebrow she said, "You started to get quiet when I told you about my trip." The hand on his tightened. "It's only a week Sarek--"

Pulling his fingers quickly out of her grasp, he put both of his hands down on the cushions beside them. Feeling the slightest shiver in his fingertips, he clenched them into fists. "Excuse me," he said.

Amanda stared at the hand he had pulled away. "Your fingers just shook," she said softly. "They only shake when..." She tilted her head.

"I will regain partial control in a few minutes. But I need meditation. Please, Amanda, it would be best if you leave."

She did not move. She stared silently at his hands for exactly fifty-five seconds.

And then wrapping her arms around his neck, she put her head against his and whispered, "Sarek, how did T'Sala die?"

Sarek's fingernails dug into the flesh of his palms, he closed his eyes. For exactly one minute and thirteen seconds he said nothing. It was illogical not to answer her question. She might believe, however illogically, that she had done something to offend him. Opening his eyes he forced himself to speak evenly. "It was a routine research trip. There was a malfunction in the warp coil. It was completely...random. One cannot live one's life in fear...It would be illogical not to visit Mars. Your risk will be less than 1 in 200,000."

Pulling back, she met his eyes. He noticed that hers were leaking.

Putting a hand on his cheek she said. "Your behavior may be illogical...if one considers the statistics." She swallowed. "But it is very understandable."

Leaning in, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She was cool and light on his lap. T'Sala would reach to him with her mind when he was distressed, but Amanda could not do that; she reached with her body. It was completely logical, really. He found he did not want her to leave. Reaching up with one arm he gently stroked her back. They remained like that for quite some time.

x x x

Sarek did regain his emotional control. But Amanda did her part; she didn't talk about her trip other than to give him the barest of essential information.

The next few weeks were relatively content ones. More dates -- Shakespeare at theater in the round, a lecture on Eastern philosophy's compatibility with quantum mechanics, and dinner at a new vegan restaurant in Monterrey -- Amanda's treat as a Christmas gift.

Sarek got Amanda a new coat; she needed one. He'd read that it was important to balance practicality with sentimentality in these matters, so he also got her an e-book to read on her trip, _'An Anthology of Elves in Fiction and Folklore.'_ On opening it she'd laughed. "What is this -- an owner's manual?"

There was also more physical expressions of intimacy, of course -- still just above the shoulders, but he allowed his hands to run down the expanse of her back.

The Friday evening before her departure was difficult. It was a date night, but Sarek was not very talkative during dinner and Amanda was subdued, too. When Sarek dropped her off at her home, Brian and Carrie were there. Sarek didn't feel comfortable being physically intimate with another couple in the house, and he couldn't take Amanda home with him -- T'Lana was there watching Sybok. They settled for a few hushed words and some kissing and nipping in her foyer.

All in all it was an unsatisfactory evening. He returned home frustrated and worried. There was the illogical worry of the random uncertainty of the universe. But there was another worry as well...If he were human maybe he would have taken her up to her room and not cared that there were other people in the house. If he were human...if he were human they might be doing a lot more than they were doing. Maybe he wasn't enough for her...or not right for her. Maybe they would not bond...

He told himself even if they did not bond, it was not all for nothing. It was logical to appreciate the here and now. Amanda was his friend...they still talked as friends did. If they had not become romantically involved, maybe they still would not have recovered from the night his shields had first fallen.

Despite his own logical reassurances, meditation still came with great difficulty.

He called her the next morning to see if she would like to join him and Sybok for breakfast -- but she was too busy packing.

...and then later that afternoon, forty-seven minutes after Sybok went down for his nap, there was a light knock at his door. It was Amanda, bags in hand.

"Hi," she said. "I have about an hour before I --"

"Come in," he said quickly, taking her luggage. He had already done the mental arithmetic. She would need to be in a cab fifty-seven minutes later, T'Lana would be coming twenty-three minutes after that to take care of Sybok -- Sarek had a work function to attend.

As soon as she was in the door, he dropped her things, took her by the hands, and pressed his forehead against hers. They were nipping at each others' lips a few minutes later and Sarek was pushing her towards the couch.

Physical intimacy between humans was just another means of communication, was it not? Just another bonding experience...There was nothing inherently illogical about this form of communication if they were both willing. There would be no accidental pregnancies between them. Nor would he be deceiving her in anyway about his intentions. He wanted her to be his permanently. And because she was human, wasn't it logical to take the physical aspect of their relationship further to reinforce this intention?

The only thing that was illogical was his urge to bond mentally with her...he would suppress it.

By the couch he switched their positions. Gasping a little as he pulled her down on top of him, she settled onto his lap and began to stroke his ears. He nipped down her jaw and to the edge of her turtleneck. He couldn't even be intimate within their normal predetermined limits with this garment in the way. His hands drifted down her back to the bottom edge of her shirt.

Lifting gently at the hem, he said, "May I?" Even if they were to go no further than their normal limits, wouldn't this request be logical?

Amanda's eyes were wide; she was breathing deeply. "Yes, please, yes."

He lifted it slowly, revealing the planes of her stomach, the gentle rise of her breasts, helped her remove it from one long graceful pale arm, then another, and finally pulled it smoothly over her head.

He couldn't help but stare at her. He ran one tentative hand from the notch between her clavicles, over the clasp of her bra -- this one hooked in front, how fascinating -- down the line where her abdominal muscles joined to her navel. Just below there he paused.

She reached down to the hem of his own shirt. "May I?" she asked. Without ceremony he reached down and pulled it up and over his head himself. And then they were naked from the waist up together; if he pulled her to him they would be skin to skin...except...

His gaze went back to the clasp of her bra, then up to her eyes.

"Whatever you think is enough is fine," she whispered.

Reaching forward he unhooked the clasp of the garment. Her breasts spilled out, perfect, round, nipples tinged a lovely soft shade of pink -- from pigmentation, or the flow of iron based blood -- Sarek wasn't sure. Amanda let out an audible breath and Sarek slid the bra over her shoulders without even paying attention to his hands.

"Mammary glands," he whispered. "Any of the large compound sebaceous glands that in female mammals are modified to secrete milk, are situated ventrally in pairs --"

"Sarek --" Amanda said, her voice very low. "Just tell me you like them."

Sarek blinked. "There is no logical reason for them to be more arousing than any other part of your body..." He tilted his head. "...and yet I find that they are." He took a deep breath to settle the warmth rising in him...but why? He let his body respond beneath hers.

Letting out a little sigh, Amanda put her hands on his shoulders and said, "You are allowed to touch."

There was no logical reason this region of anatomy should be more sacrosanct than any other. Sarek brought his hands up and cupped her breasts, thumbs on the inside borders, fingers fanning out towards her arms. He had done things during his Pon Farr that might have made a human blush, but he had not done this simple thing. He had never savored this weight or this exquisite softness.

Amanda's hands trailed down from his shoulders to the tops of his hands -- they now had the barest of telepathic connections. Looking up at her face, he flicked his thumbs across her nipples and was immediately rewarded by a soft whimper and a spark of arousal on his knuckles. He flicked his thumbs again; the spark was not as dramatic this time. So he pinched, and then pressed, and massaged...and noticed that the greatest sparks and most audible response from Amanda came when he varied his ministrations. He laved his tongue across one and then another and experimented with his teeth.

Whimpering from above him, Amanda said, "Sarek, I'm going to fall over."

Wrapping his arms around her back but keeping his mouth occupied, he pushed her back down onto the couch. Her legs wrapped around his waist and rested lightly on his back, the bare skin of his upper body touched her cool stomach; his jaw nipping lightly at her nipple was resting on the softest and most exotic of pillows. As he slipped his hands back down to her front she covered his knuckles again with her fingers. They were linked again, however mildly, and he was on the receiving end of light echoes of her pleasure.

He continued to apply his hands and mouth to her breasts and let his mind become lost in her soft vocalizations and the sensations of his body and hers. It was altogether superb.

They remained intertwined like that for...he realized he had shut off his mental clock. Amanda's articulations became closer together, she began to toss her head, her lower body began to arch against his, sparks flew across the link...his fingers started to clench involuntarily...he almost thought...

Amanda's body shuddered and Sarek gasped. He brought his fingertips to hers without even asking. She had climaxed, it was unmistakable, and through her fingertips he rode the aftershocks with her.

As the sensations subsided, Amanda called out to him. "Sarek?"

He pulled himself up so his head was above hers, his chest now pressing against her cool softness. "Yes?" he whispered, bending down to nibble on her ear.

She laughed softly; he could feel the distinct emotion of shock through his fingers. "That has never happened before...like that."

Fascinating.

She laughed again softly. "I want to return the favor; may I, please?"

Sarek felt lust in the link, but it was overwhelmed by sincerity and gratitude. It was beautiful, innocent and pure. "Yes, please," he whispered.

She moved her hands away from his and he ached at the loss of contact. Lifting his fingers, he brushed some errant tendrils of hair away from her face with the backs of his fingertips.

"Go ahead and link with me," Amanda whispered. "I know you like it better that way."

Sarek turned his hand around and felt that sweet sincerity again. He wanted so much to keep her...something dark and possessive uncoiled in his center.

"You want to bite me," Amanda whispered, pushing her hips against his. "Go ahead...it's alright."

Nipping his way down to her shoulder, he kept one hand on her temple. When he reached the round curve of the joint where her arm met her body he bore down hard. She gasped and her fingers dug into his back. It was, in its own way, as powerful as her climax had been. Their hips pressed together in some silent agreement, and suddenly the barrier of fabric there was intolerable...but separating their bodies was just as intolerable.

And then Amanda's voice began to echo in his mind deliciously, _So warm...Heavy...Good...Love this man..._

Sarek's hips jerked against Amanda's. He made a sound that he had not uttered since Pon Farr, a low rumble, almost a growl.

_Please, Sarek...please...._

He wanted...he wanted...his hips ground against hers...

_Yes...it's okay_..._I..._

And then he felt _confusion._

_Sarek?_

Suddenly, he came to his senses. He wasn't just linking with her empathetically. His hand of its own accord had moved to touch her psi points. He was communicating telepathically...He was in her mind. If he continued...

Pulling his hand off her face, he rolled off her body and dropped to the floor. There was a loud thump that reverberated through the house. His own breathing echoed in his ears.

"Sarek?" Amanda's face was above him.

"I am sorry," he said, "I cannot...are you alright? Does your head hurt in anyway? Do you feel nauseous?"

"Nauseous?" she blinked. "No, no, no, Sarek, I'm fine..."

He exhaled a long breath. "Amanda, please forgive --"

A cool finger came down to rest on his lips. "Shhhh...there is nothing to forgive..."

He forced his breathing to become regular.

"Would it be alright if I come down there now?" Amanda asked. "I just want to hold you...I think I pushed you too far."

"I pushed myself." And he'd failed her. He would regain control of himself. Crossing his hands and interlocking his fingers on his abdomen he said, "You may come down."

Slipping down off the couch Amanda came to rest next to him with her head on his shoulder. Her side was pressed against him. He felt the softness of her breasts, the coolness of her skin. This alone was so good, why did he need to mentally bond?

She put one soft small hand on top of his. "I'm not meeting your needs," she whispered and Sarek felt a flicker of regret.

"My needs are not reasonable," he said. He could have hurt her. "And this time now between us is quite..."

Upstairs Sybok started to cry.

Sarek closed his eyes. Amanda made a soft chuckle; through their linked hands Sarek felt frustration and affection.

Without words, they both sat up and began to hastily grab their clothes.

"It is time for you to catch a cab," said Sarek.

"I made a reservation," Amanda said, hooking her bra and reaching for her shirt. "They'll be waiting outside..."

Upstairs Sybok roared. Sarek hated to leave Amanda. He pressed his forehead to hers. "Please call or email me when you reach your hotel."

"Of course, I'll call you every day if you want," she said. Sybok's wail was getting more shrill...

"That would be amenable," said Sarek, standing up. Sybok's cries suddenly became quieter, and then there was the sound of the aquarium music box Amanda had given him for Christmas. Sometimes Sybok liked to sleep with it...had Sarek left it in his bed?

Looking up at the ceiling Sarek said, "He is soothing himself...come, I will show you to the door."

In the foyer, Sarek smoothed Amanda's hair. Overhead he heard the sound of the music box, and the light creak of wood that came when Sybok 'danced' in his crib.

"I would invite you up to see Sybok," Sarek said, pressing his forehead to hers, "but if he saw you and you left quickly, it might be upsetting for him."

She nodded.

"Thank you for coming over," he added, touching his fingers to hers.

"The pleasure was all mine," she said. He could feel the faintest breeze of regret through her fingertips.

"It was not all yours, Amanda," Sarek said. He could still feel the echoes of her climax in his fingertips.

She pulled her head back and smiled softly up at him. "I'll see you when I get back." She pressed her lips to his. Outside a hover cab honked. Sarek heard more creaking in the house. It almost sounded like -- no, it was too early.

"I better go," she said not moving, fingers still on his. Standing on her toes she pressed her lips up to his again in another quick, human-style kiss.

As she dropped down, a movement above her shoulder caught Sarek's eye. Lifting his head, he saw T'Lana standing in the hallway. His eyes met hers; tilting her head she exited the hallway.

**A/N:**

That chapter took a lot out of me. I am now officially chapterless...so it will be a few days before I post again, but I'll shoot for Wednesday...If you liked it please leave a review, its the only way FanFiction authors and our betas get paid!


	34. A Deep Breath

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom** --** be sure you check out her new story _Slips of the Tongue!_

(Any mistakes are my own, made some last minute changes…hope you enjoy anyways).  
**  
A Deep Breath**

"Don't worry; I'll be back," Amanda said.

Sarek's eyes left the spot in the hall from which T'Lana had just vanished and returned to Amanda's. "It would be illogical to worry."

The cab honked one more time. Amanda ran to the door. Sarek opened it for her and she dashed out. He watched her get into the vehicle and waved as it departed.

Closing the door, he turned and made his way towards Sybok's room.

When Sarek had suggested to Amanda that they bond months ago, he was uncertain how he would handle T'Lana. Would they suggest she watch Sybok in her home? Would he tell her about the true nature of the relationship and risk potential exposure? Vulcans as a rule were not gossips, but if she believed his behavior to be dangerously illogical she would alert the Embassy.

When it became apparent that his courtship was going to last longer than he initially expected, he pushed the matter from his mind.

Now T'Lana had seen Amanda kiss him, which could be explained as human exuberance, but she'd seen them fingertip to fingertip, a gesture that between adults was reserved only for bonded pairs...He straightened. What if she had seen more than that? The foyer didn't open into the living room, it opened to a hallway to the kitchen and the upstairs. Still it was possible...

Slipping his arms behind his back, he went upstairs. T'Lana was in Sybok's room seated on the floor. She was helping Sybok complete a simple Earth-style wooden puzzle. Without looking up she said in Vulcan, _"I believe you have a work function to prepare for."_

_"Indeed,"_ Sarek replied. _"But as you are early, I find myself with a few extra minutes to prepare."_

_"Traffic was much less than I am used to on weekdays,"_ said T'Lana.

Sybok began to bang a puzzle piece with frustration. Sarek heard the wood crack.

Touching his temple, T'Lana said, _"That is the correct piece, Sybok. Be calm; go slow and you will be able to fit it in place more easily."_

Sybok made a small grunt and tried again, more gently this time.

Turning to Sarek, the wizened Vulcan woman said, _"I let myself in; it has never been an issue when I have arrived early before. I heard Sybok cry and went up to his room."_

Sarek tilted his head. If she went directly to Sybok's room she had not seen more than the finger touch. That at least was a relief.

Turning back to Sybok T'Lana said, _"It still is not an issue, Sarek."_

Sarek let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. She had just acknowledged and exonerated his behavior.

Sybok jiggled the puzzle piece into place and T'Lana touched his forehead.

"Very satisfactory, Sybok," T'Lana said. _"You see, when we are calm and go slow, we achieve our tasks more easily. Or as the humans say, _'Less haste, more speed'."

She was completely unfazed. Sarek found his relief morphing to curiosity, but he had to get ready.

x x x

The work function went well. The Vulcan Embassy was more actively showcasing its philanthropic contributions to education and science. Sarek and Ambassador T'Zena had presented several Terran college students with awards and scholarships to study on Vulcan for one year. The press had been invited.

The scholarships had been given out by the Embassy and Consulates for years, but the ceremony was new, and courting the press was new. T'Zena was trying to make Vulcan's contributions to Terran society as public as possible. Even though she confided in Sarek that the money spent on the ceremony might be better spent on more scholarships, she thought that Earth was undergoing a cyclical resurgence in isolationism and wanted to remind humans frequently that they were part of a larger galaxy.

Josef was there. He was at most social functions. As the man in charge of finances, his presence wasn't illogical from a ceremonial aspect, but were there other benefits?

As Sarek drove home he mused on the effortless way the Ambassador made her way through the crowd, Josef at her side; Sarek wondered if being bonded to a human might be very useful at human social functions.

At his home, T'Lana met him at the door, coat in hand. Sybok was asleep. Sarek asked T'Lana the usual questions about Sybok's eating and sleep schedule and then asked her a question he'd been wondering about since earlier in the day.

"You know of other Vulcan-Human couples?" he asked.

T'Lana pulled her coat over her shoulders and looked down. "In one hundred and thirty-five years, only two, though I have heard there are more."

"They were successful unions?" Sarek said.

T'Lana tilted her head and looked up at him, eyes obsidian beneath her neatly pulled back gray hair. "One was...it was long ago, when Vulcan first established a presence on Earth. They both are dead now."

"The other?" Sarek asked.

T'Lana looked down. "A human friend of my husband's bonded with a Vulcan woman, a former cook at the Vulcan Embassy. The drama that resulted from that was worse than any Terran soap opera."

"The human man was indiscreet?" Sarek asked, feeling a slight tinge of alarm.

T'Lana looked up quickly at him. "No, the Vulcan woman's parents convinced her to unbond. George, my husband's friend, was...emotional, as you might imagine, but not indiscreet. He did 'get over it' as humans say, and remarried a very logical human woman."

Sarek blinked. "The drama?"

T'Lana tilted her head. "The Vulcan woman never 'got over' him. After the mate chosen by her parents died, she came back to Earth seeking George." T'Lana shook her head. "George does not have the mental scarring she does -- I do not know if it is because humans are not naturally telepathic, or if it is a matter of humans being serial monogamists, or both. In any case, he is quite content with his human wife and children." She shook her head again. "Shameful behavior on T'Cara's part...bonding and then unbonding...If humans knew how illogical we can be..."

She looked hard at Sarek. "For a man in your situation, unbonded, with an emotionally-compromised child, Ms. Grayson is a logical choice." She tilted her head. "How long have you been bonded?"

Sarek said nothing.

T'Lana did not need any interpretation. "I have heard of some illogical Vulcans courting humans for sensation's sake alone. I warn you, I will not be part of any household where such activity goes on. You will bond with her."

Sarek remembered the V'tosh ka'tur who touched T'Yavi's mind. A human would be a very logical target for one seeking sensation and sensation alone -- a human would be very susceptible to telepathic suggestion. The idea filled him with revulsion. "My intention is to bond," said Sarek.

"Good," said T'Lana, turning her attentions to the buttons on her coat.

x x x

"Hello, Amanda," Sarek said from the subspace screen, "I see that there were no cracks in the bio-dome in the last twenty four hours."

Amanda laughed. Sarek had started to make jokes about his 'illogical fears' for her benefit.

"No, no cracks in the biodome. But there is a bigger danger." She said it with a smile to let him know she was teasing. "I think I have discovered my inner travel bug. It has been so interesting coming and meeting the people who are brave enough to start a new life here. And seeing all the research facilities..."

Sarek visibly straightened. "I would find touring Mars terraforming projects most interesting. Did you see the ice plant gardens?"

"Yes!" Amanda said, not surprised at all he knew about the hardy Terran ground cover that genetic engineers were manipulating for the Martian environment. "They say within another year they'll be able to release them partially into the wild. They'll still have to water them, but they'll be tough enough to grow in a vacuum -- Mar's thin atmosphere will be no problem."

"Fascinating," said Sarek.

"And it's beautiful here, Sarek. The dunes and canyons beyond the bio-dome -- they are the most beautiful colors of red and ochre..." She stopped. It was difficult to describe in words the Martian landscape, interspersed here and there with soft blue green bio-domes. It was nature and humankind's technology and will at their grandest.

"I know another planet with red dunes and canyons," Sarek said softly.

"Maybe someday you will take me there," she said.

"If you are willing," Sarek replied.

She took a deep breath; if she was willing to bond with him. In so many ways their relationship was all about her and her limits, not his.

**A/N:**  
A short, but hopefully welcome chapter. If you were mildly entertained, please leave a review! It's the only way fanfiction Authors and our hard working betas get paid!


	35. Occasions for Thought

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom** --** be sure you check out her new story _Slips of the Tongue – Chapter 3 is up today._

The chapter below is after the first section, I think, shameless fluff (?) I could be wrong though.

**Occasions for Thought**

The Central Station Hilton was at the edge of Mar's largest bio-dome. From her room Amanda had unobstructed views of Martian sands and rugged canyons. She'd heard Mars bore an uncanny resemblance to the landscape of Vulcan.

But Vulcan was home to six billion souls...

It was her last day on Mars. Amanda sat back against the headboard of her bed and thought of Sarek, as she often had in the past week. He was prepared to go against the morals of his people -- and tried to go against his very nature for her. She could see just how far he'd try to go to cross the cultural divides between them. After their experience the day she left, she really didn't think she had to worry about the physical aspect of their relationship not working -- even if he still hadn't learned how to give a proper kiss.

What about their relationship didn't work? The biggest obstacles were external. She thought she remembered a line from Dostoevsky to the effect that any two people when alone could get along; it was the external world that tore them apart.

Neither Vulcan nor Earth officially sanctioned couplings between different species. At least Vulcan worked behind the scenes to see that the unions persevered. When Amanda asked why Vulcan did not publicly acknowledge the couples, Sarek said that in most, but not all cases, such unions would be viewed as illogical. Amanda understood that Sybok, and a broken bond to a V'tosh ka'tur, would make it difficult for Sarek to bond to a Vulcan woman -- and made her a logical choice. It did not upset her -- it was some other Vulcan woman's loss and her gain. And she_ knew_ that Sarek loved her, however logical his reasons. Wasn't all love, if it was real, logical?

There were their families. Would his family accept her? Would hers accept Sarek? Her parents didn't talk about Sarek. Maybe they thought the relationship was a phase and it was better not to encourage it? She didn't talk much about Sarek with them either -- that was what Carrie was for. She didn't want her parents' opinions to color her decisions.

As for her brothers, they were too busy razzing her for 'only' being a teacher to bother with her choice in romantic partners. When she mentioned going to the lecture on Eastern philosophy's compatibility with quantum mechanics with Sarek, her brother Adam, part of Mar's legal counsel said, "The reason you have time for lectures like this is because of your low-responsibility job..."

"My job isn't low responsibility, Adam," Amanda had shot back. "The kids I work with are a huge responsibility, and they need me."

"Maybe," said Matt, her orthopedic surgeon brother, "But you're not intellectually challenged enough by your career; that's why you're going to lectures on quantum mechanics and studying Vulcan in your spare time...you're smarter than Adam and I, at least on IQ tests, and let's face it...intellectually you're bored."

Which turned into a debate on IQ and determinism. Because the Grayson family argued about things like that, because they were all hopeless geeks...as were Carrie, Brian...and of course, Sarek -- but at least he had being a Vulcan as an excuse.

From the suite beyond her room came the sound of the Subspace-Span News Network. Her brother Adam was as addicted to it as Carrie. Amanda walked out to join him.

_"This proposal is an outrage!" _said a delegate whose name plate identified him as being from Nairobi. _ "To restrict the buying of dilithium crystals to Terran crystals goes against the principles of the free market!"_

_"The free market that our distinguished African delegates tout so much has done much for Africa, but not much for the rest of Earth," _replied a little man whose name plate identified his as being from the former European Union.

"That's because most of the rest of Earth still doesn't have free markets," muttered her brother, hitting the mute button.

Amanda stared at the screen. Would such restrictions ever come to pass? Dilithium crystals were Vulcan's primary export -- and Earth was their most valuable trading partner.

x x x

Pulling Sybok close, Amanda took a deep breath of Vulcan child -- baby shampoo and something vaguely, well, for lack of a better term, Sarek-y. "Good night, You," she whispered. "Don't worry, you'll see me again very soon."

A hot little hand came up to her cheek. An emotion like an exclamation point fired in her mind. Amanda laughed. She translated it as '_I had better_!'

Groaning, she said, "Now I've got to give you back to your Daddy, because you're heavy and I'm still not used to Earth's higher gravity."

Sarek took Sybok in his arms. A little hand flashed to his cheek and Sarek put the child down, saying, "Alright, we will walk to bed as you wish."

Amanda felt a little bit of apprehension as the two walked slowly away, fingers entwined. Sarek said that Sybok should not have to use touch telepathy to communicate with his father. He was two years old now and should be bonded firmly enough that touch was unnecessary. It was illogical to worry, Sarek said, but Amanda knew he did.

When Sarek came back down the stairs again, he walked up, dropped his forehead to hers, and held up his fingers. She responded in kind and felt a warm flush of happiness and other familiar, stronger, emotions.

"Missed you," she said.

"And I...yes," said Sarek. He tripped over verbal emotional declarations.

She laughed gently. "I know."

Inclining his head towards the couch, he said, "Shall we sit down?"

"Yes," she said, feeling suddenly a little nervous.

Their fingers were still touching. "Amanda," Sarek said, "is something wrong?"

Sighing, she led him to the couch, let him sit down first, than slid onto his lap. "It's just about last time," she said, keeping her fingers on his so he could read her more easily. "It wasn't fair, I got far more from our physical intimacy than you did. And I want you to know...just to the shoulders is fine."

She closed her eyes; had she just said that?

"Not fair?" Sarek said.

She opened her eyes. "You fulfilled my needs..." In a way that was completely unexpected and incredibly erotic. She shivered.

"And that is highly satisfactory," he said quickly.

"--but I didn't meet yours. You need to bond, and I'm not quite ready --"

"And when we do bond, it would be better to do so in the presence of T'Quill," Sarek said.

Amanda thought she felt some shame in the link. He was reprimanding himself.

Bending her lips down to one of his ears, she gently bit him and said, "Stop it, I am fine." She bit his ear again. There was no noise, but she could definitely feel his chest vibrating.

One of his hands came up to stroke her back. "I came to the conclusion that we had reached an acceptable compromise."

"But it's not acceptable," she said pulling back. "It's not fair for you."

Sarek tilted his head. In her fingertips she felt the slightest spark of confusion.

She tried to broadcast resolve. "Look, I'm trying to compromise here. It's obvious, that the physical aspect of our relationship is going to work out; we don't have to worry about it. Physical affection is still non-negotiable, but we can keep physical _intimacy_ to just above the shoulders...or even just above the neck, or whatever you are comfortable with. That's fair."

Sarek stared at her. "I think I understand your...logic. But you do let me bite you. You do not get as much out of that as I do, I am positive."

"But I do enjoy it when you bite me...I can feel how much you like it," Amanda said.

"The activity we indulged in last time you were here was similar for me." The hand on her back made a long trail down her spine. "I found great satisfaction in your satisfaction."

Amanda shivered. She couldn't believe she was arguing about this. Was she saying no to repeats of a really, really, wonderful experience? "I don't let you bite me every time we are intimate," she countered.

"A special occasion activity, then?" Sarek asked, trailing his finger very slowly up her spine now. His fingers reached the the base of her skull and began to knead. She felt muscles in her neck she didn't realize she'd been tensing begin to relax.

Closing her eyes, she broke the link between them, leaned forward, wrapped her arms around his neck and lay her head on his shoulder. "Okay, a special occasion activity. Like biting. Please don't stop what you're doing to my back."

"I will not stop...Your muscles feel tight."

"Mmmmmm...." was all Amanda could manage as his other hand came up to her back.

And then both hands drifted down to the hem of her shirt.

"Amanda," Sarek said softly, "you just came back from an interplanetary trip. We were parted for eight days, thirteen hours and fifty-seven minutes. I believe this counts as a 'special occasion'."

Amanda swallowed and burrowed her head into his neck. "That's...logical."

The fingers on her shirt began to gently tug upwards. She moved her body so he could pull it over her shoulders. Sarek nipped at her jaw line and reached around to unhook her bra.

She sighed. "But really, if you're more comfortable, just a back massage would be fine." Did she just say that?

Pulling her bra down her arms Sarek replied, "We can start with a back massage." Did _he_ just say that?

"That sounds...fine," Amanda said, feeling her whole body go warm.

Her breasts actually burned slightly...Sarek tilted his head and watched as her nipples rose, but did not touch. Instead, his hands went to the hem of his shirt and he pulled it over his head. He was lean underneath, but not too lean. His skin was faintly olive, his nipples unmistakably so. She trailed the nails of one hand from his clavicles between his pecks to halfway to his navel.

Inclining his head to the side, Sarek said in a low voice, "Lie down on your stomach."

Amanda complied with a sigh. Sarek changed his position so he was sitting beside her. Like the first time he gave her a massage, his hands started at the base of her skull. Unlike last time, they were both bare to the waist. Every press of his fingertips pushed Amanda into the couch and her naked skin rubbed against the slightly rough fabric of the cushions. It was very erotic. She didn't bother to restrain the sounds of pleasure coming to her lips.

At the bottom of her spine, Sarek slowly made his way up again to the base of her skull and then began to work his way back down. Just below her shoulders he stopped. "I believe your back muscles are sufficiently loose now."

"Yes," she gasped. She felt as though she was melting into a hopeless, contented puddle.

Keeping his skin in contact with hers, he snaked his hands around her back to her sides, and then around to cup her breasts. He began to gently knead them, but his fingers did not touch her nipples. She tried to roll over but he held her firmly.

"No, stay like this," he said in a low, curt voice. To emphasize his point he flicked his thumbs over her nipples.

Amanda moaned. Her body had discovered a new path to its goal, and now that she knew the way, she was going to reach her peak faster. Sarek lay down with his chest to her back, the weight of him bearing down on her, his heat surrounding her, and he gave her a viciously delicious pinch. Amanda's breath caught in her throat and he eased up, massaged her chest gently, then struck hard again.

Her hips pressed involuntarily into the cushions; she rolled her head from side to side and whimpered. Sarek pulled one hand away and she really whimpered, but then he spread the remaining hand out so it touched both sides of her. She felt another hand on her temple...

He wanted her so much it almost hurt...to keep her, mark her, fill her...

"Go ahead," she said, not really sure what she was agreeing to. "Go ahead."

He began nipping down the back of her shoulder with a low hiss, his hips pressed into her, the fingers on her breasts making small tight circles, and then with a low noise he grabbed hold of the skin just behind her arm and bit...

Amanda's vision went completely black, climax thundered through her, Sarek's jaw relaxed, and he let out a low deep sigh. The both lay breathing deeply for a few minutes. Amanda silently willed him not to get up...the press of his body against hers was too heavy for her to endure very long...but right now she still wanted to feel him there, encompassing her.

"That was...was..." she gasped.

"Very satisfactory," said Sarek.

"Mmmmmmm....yes," said Amanda. She grinned into the cushions. "I don't think I'll ever need sex again."

She felt a tinge of alarm. She blinked. That was Sarek...still touching her temples. She suddenly realized why he'd chosen this position. He couldn't touch all her psi points from behind -- at least not with his middle, index and thumb as he seemed to prefer. He was confined to just his middle and index fingers on her temple. He was blocking himself...

Then she felt another emotion. Comprehension. "You are teasing me, Amanda."

And...something else. She laughed. She could definitely feel that teasing him about no sex forever was distinctly annoying to him.

**A/N:**

Shameless fluff? I think there was a moral there…somewhere. More substantial stuff this weekend, promise.

If you were mildly entertained, please leave a review!


	36. Heaven

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom** --** be sure you check out her new story _Slips of the Tongue – Chapter 4 is up today._

**Heaven**

Rows of soft lighting in the gourmet shop made the well-worn wood flooring shine a soft gold. Classical music played soothingly in the background. The shop smelled of wood, exotic spices, cheeses and the red fermented grape juice samples currently being given out in the corner. Sybok tried to tug Sarek in that direction.

"We will buy some for later,"Sarek said.

Sybok radiated satisfaction_. _ Sarek looked down and squeezed his fingers, pleased Sybok enjoyed something so nutritious.

From across the room came a shout. "Sarek!"

Sarek looked up to see Chuck, the middle-aged human manager of the store, come rushing forward, wiping his hands on his white apron. "My only Vulcan customer! Great to see you."

"Good day," said Sarek.

"And who is this little guy?" Chuck asked, kneeling quickly.

"This is my son, Sybok," said Sarek, squeezing Sybok's fingers reassuringly.

Sybok did not need any encouragement; he held out two fingers. Chuck wrapped a large meaty hand around them and shook vigorously. Through the link Sarek felt Sybok's confusion, but he didn't pull away.

Standing up, Chuck said, "Where is Amanda today?"

Amanda had introduced Sarek to this shop several months ago. He always came in her company. If Chuck suspected he and Amanda were a couple, he never said anything. Sarek was coming to realize that many humans could be discreet and respected personal boundaries, too.

"Sybok and I have come on our own..." Sarek said.

...Because it was Amanda's birthday. Sarek wanted to take her out on a date, but T'Lana had gotten sick and now he was trying to prepare something special for Amanda at home.

"We are having a small celebration for Amanda tonight," he said, momentarily looking down at Sybok, "and would appreciate your suggestions for a wine pairing."

"I see," said Chuck. "Well, what are you having for dinner? Anything I'd be familiar with?"

"Actually, I was planning on preparing Thai food," said Sarek. It lent itself to vegan preparation and Amanda liked it.

Chuck scratched his chin. "Champagne goes well with spicy food. I'll pick out a bottle for you."

Chuck disappeared around some shelves and came back with a bottle and a small square purple box, only as wide as Sarek's palm, and five centimeters tall. "Since you were planning on a celebration, why not try these? We've just started selling them. They are amazing."

He opened the box and held it just .25 meters away from Sarek's nose for his inspection. Sarek inhaled...and wished he hadn't.

"New Vosges truffles," Chuck said. "Made according to a two-hundred-year old recipe. This is the Far East Collection..."

Chuck's voice faded away. Sarek's mouth watered; he swallowed. He was dimly aware that he had let go of Sybok's fingers. Sarek had, of course, seen and smelled chocolate before. He'd walked past the candy aisle in the grocery store...and he'd watched desserts go past him on waiters' arms...but the four little brown spheres in the purple box made the distracting smell of cheap candy and butter-laden cake seem like shadows of the real thing.

Sarek was familiar with the fanciful human notion of 'heaven,' and in that moment he was sure that if heaven did exist, it would smell like a box of New Vosges chocolates.

He blinked. The collision of chocolate molecules and his olfactory cells was obviously causing his brain to indulge in wild hyperbole. He wanted to say 'no thank you' to Chuck but found he could not.

He looked up to Chuck's face. Staring over Sarek's shoulder, the human's eyes got wide. "Uh-oh," said Chuck.

Sarek turned his head. Sybok had wandered over to a cheese stand and was putting a large hunk of cheese into his mouth -- wrapper and all. "Excuse me," said Sarek, thankful for the diversion.

"I'll ring this up for you," said Chuck as Sarek strode over to Sybok.

Sarek removed the cheese from Sybok's mouth and immediately got slapped on both sides of the face.

The toddler broadcast _Mine, mine, mine, mine...._To Sarek's telepathic receptors it was a bellow; fortunately to all the humans in the store it was completely silent. Pulling the toddler's hands from his face, Sarek touched Sybok's temple and broadcast a firm _No_. Sybok proceeded to jump up and down, his mouth clenched in a firm line. Although small, Sybok weighed much more than a human child. His tiny jumps caused the wine bottles nearby to shake.

Sarek put his hand in full contact with Sybok's psi points and radiated calm. Sybok stopped jumping; his eyes got slightly duller. Sarek sighed inwardly. He'd overpowered Sybok with his own emotions -- between Vulcans the stronger telepath generally could dominate. It was an unsatisfactory solution to the tantrum. It would have been far better to let Sybok work through his anger on his own -- but Sarek could not endanger the property of others.

Picking up Sybok with one arm, he grabbed a bottle of red wine in the hand still holding the cheese and made his way over to the checkout aisle. Placing the cheese and the wine down, Sarek said, "Please add these to my bill."

Chuck picked up the cheese and looked at the row of Vulcan tooth marks. "You don't have to buy this...I have kids; I know --"

"Please add it to my bill," said Sarek.

As he rang up the cheese, Chuck looked at the label and said, "Grass fed, raw milk, twelve-month aged Manchego cheese from Spain. The little guy has taste."

Sarek said dryly, "As a general rule, if it is more than eight credits a kilo, he likes it." He looked hard at his child. Not that he would get any of it. Sarek would not reward this sort of behavior. Sybok put his forehead against Sarek's, obviously trying to 'charm his way out of the doghouse' as Amanda would say.

"What a cute little guy," said Chuck, adding the cheese and wine to the bag of champagne.

Sarek tilted his head and looked pointedly at the human.

He winked at Sarek, "Have a great night."

x x x

The smell of chocolate burned in Sarek's olfactory apparatus as he drove home. It diminished slightly as the day wore on, but it didn't go away. It was only later when Amanda came over that Sarek understood why.

The champagne was not chilled--not because he had forgotten to take it from the bag, but because he was simply too busy trying to simultaneously entertain Sybok and chop vegetables. When Amanda came over, even though it was her birthday, she offered to help -- possibly because she interpreted Sybok's 'chopping' tofu into pieces and letting the slippery chunks slide onto the floor as a sign of Sarek being overwhelmed.

"Would you please put the champagne in the refrigerator?" said Sarek. "It is over there in the brown bag."

Amanda took out the wine bottle, the champagne, the cheese, and then she said, "Ooooo...what is this?"

She pulled a purple box out of the bag. "New Vosges...I think I've read about these..." She opened the box, inhaled with a smile, and said, "Wow, Sarek, thank you!"

Sarek and Sybok both simultaneously stopped their activities as the aroma of chocolate wafted through the kitchen. Sybok began to reach forward.

Observing Sybok's reaction, Amanda's eyes got wide. "Oh, wow," she said, quickly setting the top back on the box and putting it on top of the refrigerator. "Better save these for later."

Sarek licked his lips involuntarily.

x x x

Sarek was cleaning Sybok off in his high chair. Amanda was picking up dishes and trying to stay out of the way.

Sometimes, with Sybok around you could almost have a normal dinner conversation. Sometimes, like tonight, you spent half the meal just trying to keep him entertained, and from throwing all of his food on the floor.

She looked up towards the cupboard. Maybe she'd just help herself to a chocolate? It was her birthday after all…

Opening the cupboard she found the little purple box and took off the lid.

She'd just have one…The darkest one in the corner caught her eye. She read the label on the inside lid: _Dark Chocolate Wasabi with Blackened Sesame Seeds_. Interesting.

Gently picking up the little dark sphere she inspected it closely, and then put it to her lips and bit it in half. Her eyes went wide. Her neurons sang. It. Was. Heavenly.

She coughed, and then laughed. She'd never actually done heroin, but she was fairly certain that this was pretty close.

"Amanda?" Sarek asked, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said. She turned around with a smile, half the truffle still in her hand. "I just tried one of the chocolates and I think that every synapse connected to my taste buds and olfactory cells just went supernova."

She slipped the rest of the truffle into her mouth, closed her eyes and let it slowly disintegrate on her tongue.

Sybok started to fuss. Opening her eyes Amanda said, "Why don't I give him a bath why you finish in here." The words were slightly slurred; the chocolate was still thick in her mouth.

"Thank you," said Sarek straightening. "Sybok and I both would appreciate that."

Amanda went forward and leaned into Sarek and gave him a great big kiss. The lips that met hers were like warm stone…he still couldn't kiss, what's more they never did this in front of Sybok. She pulled back about to apologize when to her surprise he leaned forward, drew her bottom lip into his mouth and sucked.

Sybok started to bang his fists on his tray.

Amanda pulled away reluctantly, winked at Sarek, turned to Sybok and said, "Come on big guy, time for an ocean adventure."

Sybok reached up to her and she felt happiness as his fingers touched her cheeks. He loved bath time, especially with her. Sarek didn't do aquatic animal sound effects like she did. She slung her arms around him and pulled him out of the chair.

Her eyes briefly went to the box of chocolates open on the counter by the sink. And then shifting Sybok to one arm, she grabbed her glass of champagne and went towards the stairs. "Ahoy ye mateys," she said in her best pirate voice. Sybok patted her cheek enthusiastically.

x x x

The bath was filled with toy fish, otters, porpoises, sharks, boats and submarines. Sybok was obsessed with all things aquatic.

Amanda took a last sip of champagne, and then took an otter and let him slide down the sloped side of the tub while she made sound effects. Sybok clapped his hands wildly.

Suddenly the house shook, the water in the tub splashed in miniature tidal waves, and there was a loud pounding from downstairs. For a moment, Amanda thought it was an earthquake, but then she realized the noise was getting closer...fast. Sybok looked up at her with wide eyes. Just as her brain registered that the shaking and the noise was most likely caused by a very heavy someone running up the stairs, probably taking them two at a time -- Sarek burst through the door.

"Sybok, look," Sarek said. He had what looked like a twisted loop of a safety seal to a soy milk bottle in one hand, and a dish soap bottle in the other. "The dish soap is defective; it appears to have too much glycerin in it." He blew on the loop and a perfect soap bubble floated through the air. Sybok didn't smile, but he splashed the water happily.

"That is right, Sybok; soap is a fascinating molecule, is it not? Simultaneously hydrophilic and hydrophobic." Sarek blew a few more bubbles through the ring.

Dipping the little loop into the soap bottle, Sarek reached over Amanda's head and handed the loop to Sybok. The toddler began to blow little bubbles.

Clapping her hands in encouragement, Amanda said, "That-a-way, Sybok."

She felt Sarek lower himself behind her and a hot dry hand go around her hip. She started slightly. He never did things like this around Sybok. Well, it was below the edge of the tub, so Sybok couldn't see...

Another hand brushed the hair away from the back of her neck and suddenly she felt him lean in for a light bite. Eyes wide, she turned to him but he was already standing up and blowing on Sybok's bubbles from below to keep them suspended in the air.

Sybok splashed happily with his feet. Amanda just stared, too dumb-founded to speak.

x x x

Sarek closed the door to Sybok's room. The toddler was finally in bed. Amanda sighed with a smile and went to touch Sarek's fingers.

Sarek responded with a light purr and then looked down at Amanda's empty glass. "I will get more," he said. Striding past Amanda, he took the stairs two at a time and then jumped down the last eight. The house shook again. Her Vulcan looked up at the ceiling. "Rather fragile construction."

"Sarek, what are you doing?" Amanda asked, coming down the stairs behind him.

He blinked at her. "More haste...less speed," he said.

Before Amanda had a chance to digest that, Sybok started to cry, obviously disturbed by the noise. Handing her empty glass to Sarek, she said, "I'll take care of Sybok." She didn't want him to cause another mini-earthquake on the stairs.

When she came back down, Sarek was in the kitchen. He pressed a glass of champagne into her hand.

"Thank you," Amanda said with a sip. "I think I might have one of those chocolates now."

Sarek opened his mouth. There was a small dark brown sphere on his tongue.

"Oh," said Amanda. Hadn't he told her that for adult Vulcans chocolate could be intoxicating? Suddenly his behavior made sense.

A warm Vulcan arm shot around her waist and pulled her in close. Sarek dropped his lips to hers and pressed the ball of chocolate into her mouth. Amanda's eyes got wide, but she accepted the truffle, rolling it around on her tongue to savor it.

"Give it back," whispered Sarek.

Oh. Well, that was kind of a sexy game and fit their above the shoulders rule.

"Now," said Sarek.

She pressed her lips to his and slipped the truffle forward on her tongue; he sucked it into his mouth greedily, pulled away, eyes heavy on hers, and pressed his body closer. She gasped a little, feeling his arousal hard against her stomach -- usually he tried to keep that on 'lock down.'

She didn't have time to think about it more than an instant because his lips came back to hers again and he slipped the truffle into her mouth. They did this until the truffle dissolved into nothing more than a thick, slippery liquid -- and then they licked the remains off each other's lips.

"Mmmm..." said Amanda, pulling away with a smile. "Let's have some more."

"That was the last one," whispered Sarek.

"What?" Amanda said, pulling back.

As her mouth opened, Sarek leaned forward and nipped and sucked her lower lip. He still couldn't really kiss. His hands went to either side of her head, his chest vibrated against hers, and she heard his purr in her ears. And then she felt something heavy in her mind.

_Amanda?_

She felt a warm wave of contentment come over her, want, and the emotion that made her vision go black.

_Sarek..._

Happiness burned in her mind, brighter than a star.

There was some part of her mind that registered that his fingers were on all her psi points now. But it felt so good...he was in her mind...he always dropped the link when this happened. She didn't want him to go...she felt so warm...so complete..

He was pulling away..._This is not a good idea, Amanda. There are things we should discuss..._

The words were slow, though; she could feel him struggling. He liked it here, in her...in them?

_Amanda...I belong here. _

And suddenly she saw herself sitting next to Sybok as he took his bath through Sarek's eyes. They were family, the three of them...or could be. The image was glowing, like a child's vision of Christmas morning...

_I know, I know, Sarek..._

_My control is weak, Amanda...I..._

The feeling was too beautiful to give up just like that._ Don't go, Sarek, don't go, don't go..._

Her legs started to shake; one hand left her temple and then she felt herself lifting, no being lifted. Felt legs slip around her waist, no felt herself wrapping her legs around his waist, and then they were sinking gently to the floor.

She wanted him so much, and not just physically, although now she ached to feel him inside her, and could feel his corresponding desire to fill her...

_It is forever, Amanda...I should go...I..._

She felt the deepest well of sorrow at this prospect. Her sorrow? His? Theirs? There was a tiny part of her mind, a slight spark that reminded her she was being overwhelmed by him, and he was not himself...and another part of her that just wanted to give him everything. She was tired of dancing around what he really needed, what _they _needed...

_Sarek, I want forever now..._

**A/N:**

This chapter has changed from the original. A few reviewers I respect a great deal wrote in to say I really needed to show how the chocolate got from the box, into Sarek's mouth. I think its clear now Amanda's *innocent* chocolately kiss pushed him over the edge. Thanks to S. for that idea, it was great!

Uh-oh. If you were mildly entertained please hit that review button...reviews are the only way fanfic authors and their hardworking betas get paid.

P.S. Vosges are a Chicago specialty chocolate. They. Are. Heavenly. And really expensive, but I highly recommend them.


	37. The Flood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them  
**  
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom** --** be sure you check out her new story _Slips of the Tongue – Chapter 5 is up today._

Based on readers suggestions I went back and changed chapter 36 slightly. You can now see clearly how the truffles went from the box, to Sarek's mouth, and how his logic was 'broken down'.

**The Flood**

It was like floodgates had been released in her mind, and Amanda was a bit of flotsam caught up in the tide. Rushing by her were thoughts, images, sensations, emotions -- and memories? Yes, they were memories, because some were familiar. Green summer days growing up by the lake in Chicago. Ice cream. Her brothers, her parents...even her former boyfriend, as soon as his image appeared it was rapidly pushed back into the current, and was swept away. By her? She didn't think so...Sarek was caught up in this tide with her; she could feel him nearby in her mind, and nearby outside as well -- his arm around her back, her body cradled by his lap.

Orange sands, red rocks, heat, dust and pull -- higher gravity, swept into her mind. A world that was alien and familiar. A little girl with black hair and pointed ears -- what a cute little girl, Amanda laughed because the little girl was...mischievous, she could feel it.

And she could feel Sarek's confusion. _ Mischievous? T'Sala?_

And Amanda realized that the word translated into Vulcan only had negative connotations. _No, no, not_ _in a bad way, Sarek; she is playful. I like her._

She felt confusion. _Playful...in a good way? _ It didn't quite translate. She also felt sadness. T'Sala _is not_...she _was_, she_ is_ gone. But there was happiness, too, Sarek was happy that she liked T'Sala -- fifty-six years of his memories were tinted by T'Sala's feelings and interpretations; she was inescapable, and integral to his existence.

...Because that was what it meant to be bonded, to be inescapable and integral.

Amanda was still herself, and Sarek was still himself, but they were not the same as they had been a few minutes ago, and the images and feelings and sensations rushing by were changing them even more...

Sarek was nearly sixty-seven Terran years old...there was a lot to see -- memories of molecules and equations, she recognized and understood them all. She swept through a map of the galaxy that spun in his mind -- he would always know where Orion Prime was in the night sky. His mind was so ordered...and yet underneath...

There was emotion underneath it all that burned hotter than anything she'd ever felt. She'd caught glimpses of it from time to time...but he kept it well guarded. Except...except...there was darkness there and she wouldn't look at it, not right now, she couldn't look at it right. She let his life time pass by her in a blur; somehow she knew it would come back later.

But now...

But now Sarek was blindingly happy. And it was so easy to be caught up in it. So nice to be caught up in it.

Soft coolness met her lips; no, that sensation was her lips on his. His lips were dry and warm and kissing her. Finally. Soft, gentle, and merging with hers perfectly. She pulled back from him, opened her eyes, and laughed. And as she laughed she felt his mind spark with...pleasure...more happiness? Could he be happier? She looked into his eyes, black as obsidian, and saw her own -- brown and wide -- and knew he would forever, forever, associate her eyes with chocolate.

Reaching up, Amanda stroked his ears and felt her own ears tingle. When she dragged her nails around the outside shell, something between a tickle and arousal flushed her own skin; when she pinched with her finger nails, the ticklish sensation went away and she felt overwhelmed with heat.

She could not, she suddenly realized, pinch, or bite, or scratch him enough. And as soon as that thought was in her mind, his lips were on hers again. Soft and gentle, very much in contrast to the way she forcefully dragged her nails down his back. His whole body vibrated with pleasure. She had a moment of apprehension when she imagined what her nails might do to raw skin -- rough welts and cuts. As soon as this thought fluttered into her consciousness the words, _Yes, yes, please, please, I am yours_...filled her mind.

Hers. His.

At that thought, Sarek leaned over, slid back the shoulder of her shirt, and bit her. The release was so great, hers or his it was difficult to say, it was like a mini-climax. They both gasped.

They did not fall into a fit of mad furious love making. It was impossible. When she pulled Sarek's shirt over his head she was distracted by the sensation of her cool hands on his body, and she quaked with his urge for her to mark him. She got lost in the tiny bites she gave him up and down his arms. She felt how wet and exotically cool he found her mouth and tongue.

When he pulled her shirt up from her body, the fabric tickled her tummy a bit and Sarek was overwhelmed with the sensation. She felt his own abdominals constrict, and the sensation was so fascinating he had to try and duplicate it by tickling her with his fingers. He was successful. And the sensation of her squirming on his lap from the gentle touches made them both pause and catch their breaths...not for seconds, or moments, but for long minutes where they rested their heads on one another's shoulders, gasping and overwhelmed.

"Will it always be like this?" Amanda asked out loud.

_No, it will diminish, _Sarek responded in her mind.

Amanda felt her stomach roil with sadness.

Sarek responded quickly, _Do not worry, not completely, and we may always refresh the bond..._

There was something hesitant in that, but Amanda didn't touch it. Instead she said, "We had better enjoy this while we can, then."

Sarek's fingers brushed her stomach again, Amanda laughed, and Sarek was lost in a wave of euphoria that pulled her in, too.

When the feeling subsided, Sarek unhooked her bra -- and then they were lost again in other sensations.

They did manage to fully disrobe and climb the stairs to Sarek's room, but there were many distractions along the way. By the time Amanda fell to the pillow of Sarek's shoulder, blooming with small green welts; her muscles felt like quivering jelly. She was physically drained and sore, but emotionally and mentally full.

Sarek pulled a duvet up over his body, Amanda was warm enough with out it. From the cocoon of the cover he pushed his forehead against hers. Amanda was grinning ear to ear, and although Sarek did not smile, she could feel his happiness burning inside her. He kissed her softly on the nose and that was the last memory Amanda had before she tumbled into sleep.

x x x

Hot sun fell on Amanda's back; the light all around her was red. She was taller; she felt stronger. Around her rose buildings of strange architecture that reminded her of beehives. In front of her...

A girl was approaching, a Vulcan girl -- if she were human Amanda would have said she looked about thirteen. And then Amanda recognized her--it was T'Sala. She had bobbed-length hair, and the points of her ears pointed out from underneath it. As she approached, she smiled. No wait, she wasn't smiling, but she was happy and that was how Amanda's human mind interpreted the feeling. Amanda felt her own happiness grow at the sight of her.

She blinked. She was Sarek. Dreaming, she must be dreaming. Fascinating.

The scene shifted. Sarek and T'Sala were outside a large building; where other buildings had hive-like doors and windows all around, this one did not. There were doors all along the front, and then it rose up into a smooth dome. Ah, it was a amphitheater of some sort. And Sarek and T'Sala both really wanted to go in, because...Nilonalk, the most famous Vulcan lyre player of his day, was in there. And they really, really, wanted to see him play, but tickets had sold out days ago.

"Let us walk around the building," said T'Sala. "Perhaps we will be able to catch some of the music through a door or a window in the back."

"That sounds very improbable," said Sarek, but the two of them began to circle the building anyways.

As it turned out there was an open doorway in the back of the building. Normally it would have been blocked by a gate but the gate was ajar.

Sarek looked at T'Sala and she looked at him.

_There are no signs that say we are trespassing, _thought T'Sala pointedly.

_Technically it is public property, and we are part of the public,_ thought Sarek, knowing how much she wanted to hear the concert.

_You want to hear it, too,_ she thought back, and Amanda felt that playfulness she had sensed earlier.

Sarek looked around quickly; no one was in sight. The two children looked at each other briefly, then darted through the gate. They were only going to stand at the door; they could hear the orchestra tuning there so they would catch some of the concert but...

_The acoustics here are far from satisfactory,_ thought Sarek.

They looked at each other again, then cautiously entered the open doorway.

Sarek and T'Sala wound up enjoying the concert unnoticed from a service balcony behind a curtain just off the main stage. By peaking through a crack in the curtain they were able to watch Nilonalk's fingers caress the instrument's strings. Amanda was fascinated by their rapt attention...she also became somewhat bored. Could one fast forward through a dream?

One could. The concert was over and T'Sala and Sarek were almost discovered. She was in their minds as they debated revealing their presence and making a run for it.

_If our parents knew of our behavior they might think it illogical,_ thought T'Sala.

As one the two turned and ran, behind them they heard the sound of heavy following footsteps. T'Sala was smaller than Sarek and not as fast; he reached for her wrist and pulled her along with him. They dashed out the open door, through the gate, and heard someone yelling at them from behind. Sarek did not turn back; he pulled T'Sala with him to the front of the amphitheater. A hover bus of some sort was just pulling up its stairs preparing to lift...

_Come on_ Sarek urged. He pushed her in front of him onto the lifting stairs, and leaped up behind her. They stumbled into the hover bus and the doors whooshed shut behind them. Twenty pairs of Vulcan eyes shot up to look at them, both breathing heavily. Sarek quickly released T'Sala's wrist. _Look,_ thought T'Sala, apparently undaunted by the stares. Sarek followed her gaze. Two ushers from the ampitheater were standing just outside, breathing heavily, banging on the hover bus for admittance; fortunately they went unnoticed by the bus' driving program. The bus whisked up and away.

T'Sala radiated pleasant satisfaction...and Amanda laughed aloud. Vulcan adolescent rebellion was charming.

But then the scene changed. Amanda was still Sarek. He was taller now, and so was T'Sala. Her hair was tied up in a knot at the back of her head; she was wearing some sort of uniform that did not disguise her very female figure. Amanda felt a flicker of arousal in Sarek's mind that he carefully hid and pushed aside. They were at...a space port, definitely a space port, alone in a little hallway that broke off from the main thoroughfare.

_I do not think I should leave now. Your time could come..._

At the mention of the 'your time,' Sarek's stomach constricted slightly. _It could have come at anytime during the past; it has not. We cannot live our lives based on fear...This mission is important for your career. And it is only a week._

T'Sala was not completely mollified. Sarek held up two fingers. She accepted them and pushed his forehead against his. Something dark welled up in Sarek's abdomen; he examined it, decided it was normal desire for his future wife, and pushed it again carefully aside.

Amanda was still viewing the world through Sarek's eyes when T'Sala boarded an Andorian-made vessel. She felt Sarek's hand tremble slightly, and his bewilderment at his lack of control.

Another voice rang in her head; it was Sarek's. _Amanda, it would be best to wake up now._

He was wrong. Something very important, fundamental to Amanda and Sarek's relationship, was about to happen. _No, I need to see this._

_Amanda...please...it does not have to be this way...we can discuss it..._

It was too late; she was already plunging into the memory of his first Pon Farr.

x x x

Amanda woke up with a start, her body in a sweat, despite the fact that Sarek's bedroom was cool -- he'd opened a window for her. She was naked.

Sarek was sitting cross legged in lotus position next to her, wearing a heavy sweater and pants. His features and body were perfectly composed. He was in her mind...and yet not. She realized he was blocking his emotions…she knew that somehow.

It didn't matter that he was blocking her. Amanda could deduce what he was feeling. He was terrified.

**A/N:**

To all of you who did not want a drunken bonding. Sorry. Sort of. For all of you who wanted more descriptive consummation. Ummm...it is a T rating here.

If you were mildly entertained, please leave a review!


	38. Homecoming

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom - The Sixth Chapter for her Story "Slips of the Tongue" is out today, be sure to check it out!  
**  
Homecoming **

The bond might be closed, but from the crowd of memories still fresh in her mind Amanda could deduce what the first words out of Sarek's mouth would be.

"The bond can be undone without harm to you," he said, face perfectly composed.

It was exactly what she expected him to say, and she knew that did not mean he wanted the bond broken. He was trying to be logical and trying to be fair, to give her an out; he didn't want her to suffer for his lack of control.

Looking away, she searched his memories again. What he said was true; but it was half the truth. It wouldn't harm her -- it would harm him. He'd always be connected to her on some level. She would be a scar on his heart until one of them died. And then -- well it would be different then, but she would still be a part of him.

His memories of T'Yavi came to her mind, his broken bond to her, and Pon Farr...She had to restrain sobs just thinking of it. T'Yavi must have been so frightened, angry, and hurt. Coerced by her family to...save a man. She got that; it was a life or death situation. But it still hurt.

And Sarek had been a monster. He would be again, every seven years.

Or...maybe he wouldn't be. She had his memories in her mind of Al-Mazroui and Nivack, too. Of Al-Mazroui gently biting Nivack's ear, calling him habibi, _lover_, in the midst of his Pon Farr. She remembered Sarek in her dream telling her _'it does not have to be this way'. _It was not something he knew from experience, it was only something he had seen others have, something that he desperately wanted.

She remembered that want...she could not feel it. He was cutting off the bond, she knew that with certainty, and she was certain she understood why. He was trying to give her the space to make a decision without the interference of his feelings.

She looked up at him; he was staring down at her, face inscrutable, and she understood how much of a mask it was. He was terrified of another broken bond, terrified of another Pon Farr with a stranger.

She wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, to tell him it was alright...and found she could not. "I need to think," she said.

"Of course," said Sarek.

Sybok started to fuss in the other room.

"I must go," Sarek said. He started to reach out to her with his fingers, and then he stopped and withdrew them.

It broke Amanda's heart, but her own hands felt like lead.

With a graceful motion he turned, unwound his legs, and without looking back strode out the door.

Amanda clutched a pillow to her stomach, pulled a sheet over herself, and curled into a ball. A few minutes later she heard Sarek open the door and gently set something on the corner of the bed without a word.

When she lifted her head, she realized it was her clothes, retrieved from various places in the house, neatly folded and placed in a small pile.

x x x

Amanda sneaked out of the house without saying goodbye. She did not want Sybok seeing her. It was Sunday; she didn't have anywhere to be, so she went home. The first thing she did was grab some clean clothes, and then she went to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stripped.

She had bite marks on her shoulders, front and back, on her inner thighs, and on the back of her neck. Despite the violence that was implicit in the red marks, they actually brought back happy memories. And there were many elements of the evening that had been quite tender. She remembered the delicate kiss on her nose right before going to sleep; even Sarek letting her fall to sleep on his arm -- that was not a Vulcan thing. He allowed her to do that because he knew it was what she wanted--no, was what she needed--to feel comfortable and safe.

In the shower she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. Her body shivered despite the hot water and she pulled her knees to her chin.

She felt tears come to her eyes. The night before had been a wonderful experience. Sarek was wonderful, being bonded was wonderful...the feeling of connection was exquisite. But he would change. He wouldn't be calculating like Jason Ethridge had been...Her body shivered again and squeezed her knees more tightly to her body.

She didn't know what to do.

He only intended to bond in the presence of T'Quill, to ensure that she wasn't harmed by the mind meld. And he planned on bonding_ after _discussing Pon Farr with her. But it was so taboo to speak of it to outsiders, he felt the need to wait until he was certain of her intentions to bring the matter up. The topic frightened Sarek, and all his race...Sarek's vivid imaginings of viruses and Dillinium dioxyillate being used to bring on Pon Farr swept through her mind.

How had she envisioned the bonding? She had not really -- it was as alien a concept to her as courtship was to him. Amanda lifted her head and leaned it against the shower wall. She swallowed. Even without Pon Farr there were the issues of their parents, and their respective societies not openly acknowledging interspecies couples.

What were the positives? She loved Sarek, she loved his kid, they already were a family of sorts...they'd been one for a while. She had fun with them.

Their differences were difficult, but also interesting and 'intellectually stimulating,' as her brothers would say.

She shivered again, pulled her legs in tight, and closed her eyes. And then a renegade thought sparked in her consciousness. Had she, in the bonding, absorbed and integrated the Vulcan fear of Pon Farr into her psyche?

She clenched her fists and raised her head. There were at least two human women Sarek knew who had survived Pon Farr -- one more than once.

x x x

The hours before Sybok's nap were the most difficult. Sarek needed to meditate. He stomach was in knots. He was forcing himself not to project anything across the bond and trying not to eavesdrop on Amanda.

Memories of the night before collided with his resolve. He thought about their shared happiness, the way their minds blended so perfectly together, and their bodies. And then there was the physical evidence; the champagne glasses in the sink and the smell of sex that wafted from his room.

For Amanda the mental and emotional aspect of the bond was new. For Sarek it was familiar and comforting. The physical aspect was new to him; the easy give and take of pleasure was a revelation. He could not experience Pon Farr with a stranger, not again...

The crack of wood made him start. Sybock was trying to bang two puzzle pieces together. Sarek sat on the floor next to Sybok, reached out to his temple with two fingers, and said, "Be calm, Sybok." Instead of becoming calmer, Sybok became more enraged. With a cry he began banging the pieces together even more fiercely, one of the pieces cracked down the side.

With a deep breath, Sarek pulled Sybok onto his lap, careful not to touch any exposed skin with his fingers. He wrapped his arms around Sybok and hushed, as he'd seen Amanda do. It took three minutes and fifty-seven seconds, but Sybok did become quiet.

x x x

It wasn't until afternoon that he heard from Amanda. He was finally able to meditate during Sybok's nap, after running the dishwasher and stripping the bed and washing all of the bed covers.

He was preparing Sybok's afternoon snack when he felt a gentle nudge against his mind.

Closing his eyes momentarily, he tried to block out all of his anxiety and open the bond just enough that to communicate.

_Sarek?_ _Can you hear me? I'm not sure how this works...Maybe I should use my comm_.

_I am here, Amanda._

Sarek felt a brief flicker of wonder and happiness, then confusingly, doubt.

_Am I imagining you talking to me, Sarek, or are you really there?_

Sarek blinked; of course, this was completely new to her. _I am here, Amanda. _

_Maybe I should call you, Sarek. Maybe I'm just imagining this. _

_I will call you, Amanda. Give me three minutes._

_Okay._

Hastily handing Sybok his apple slices with peanut butter, Sarek washed his hands and pulled out his comm. He took a deep breath and dialed her code. After a ring, the line opened up.

"Hi," said Amanda.

Sarek could feel her nervousness, but wonder, too. "Hello," he said, trying to remain calm.

"Are you at home?" she asked.

Sarek projected an image of Sybok with a beard and mustache of peanut butter on his face.

"Is Sybok eating peanut butter apple slices?" Amanda asked, the link buzzing with excitement.

"Yes," said Sarek. He felt a wave of pleasure from her, and then felt her trying to reign in her own emotions. "May I come over?"

Sarek blinked again. "Of course."

"It will take me about an hour," she said.

Sarek could feel both uncertainty and resolve from her, which told him nothing. "We will be expecting you," Sarek said. He closed the comm, and closed their bond, too, not knowing if it was appropriate to listen in, and not sure if he wanted to.

x x x

The sun was beginning to set, but it was still light enough that Amanda could see them from a block away. Sybok was sitting on a tricycle in the driveway, pushing it forward with his feet on the ground. Sarek's eyes were on the toddler as he walked beside him, hands behind his back. Sarek looked like such The Dad, patient and gentle. She felt something catch in her throat.

She tested the link again. "Sarek?" She said it aloud, but so softly he could not have heard her.

He immediately raised his head and scanned the street until his eyes were on her. She felt the tiniest sliver of happiness, and then felt him close it off a bit abashedly. _Hello, Amanda._

Amanda quickened her steps. "I'm not going to make any decision based on fear, Sarek." She whispered it and tried to imagine him hearing it in his mind. She was still too far away for his ears.

She felt a sudden wave of hopefulness, but Sarek said nothing. He just nodded and walked to the end the drive way. Sybok made a U-turn with his trike and followed his father, little legs pumping furiously. At the end of the driveway, Sybok reached up and held two fingers out in Amanda's direction. She ran the last few steps and held her fingers out to Sybok as well. When his fingers touched hers, she felt the purest joy.

She looked up quickly to Sarek; she wanted to touch him, but was uncertain if she should. If the Vulcan Embassy found out, Sarek would be strongly encouraged to return to Vulcan.

Instead of touching Sarek, she ran a hand through Sybok's perfectly straight hair and took a deep breath. "I need to talk to Al-Mazroui and Milock's wife...bond-mate..."

"Of course," said Sarek. His relief was palpable.

And then Amanda felt a small tickle of want. She looked down at Sybok, uncertain as to what the emotion meant.

_There are no Vulcans in this neighborhood, Amanda._

She lifted her eyes. Sarek held out two finger towards her. For a moment she stared, then realized very few humans would guess the significance of the gesture. She responded, unable to contain a smile. When their fingers touched, her mind was flooded with happiness she knew wasn't just her own. She felt like she'd come home.

**A/N**

I'm really sorry to say this may be the last chapter for a while. Circumstances in real life are keeping me from writing, and I'm not sure whey they'll change. I feel like I'm letting everyone down -- you trust me to finish my stories, I know that. I had a lot planned for this story, how they wound up "out of the closet" so to speak, for one.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, at least its the end of one big arc.


	39. The Move

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom - She has another Story up now - The Visitor, check it out.

**The Move**

The day that Amanda was scheduled to move in with Sarek, Earth's Senate passed a bill to restrict the purchase of processed dilithium to Terran refineries.

Sarek heard the results of the Senate vote while feeding Sybok breakfast. The debate had spilled over from the day before to Saturday. The bill had flown through the lower chamber of the Earth legislature -- jobs and dilithium independence were on the line in several Terran territories, and few wanted to be the ones to say no to their constituents.

The fight in the Senate had been fierce, though. Once again, representatives from Africa were the staunchest defenders of free trade. They rightly pointed out that the Terran technology for processing dilithium crystals produced an inferior product and moreover was more expensive -- enforcing its purchase would make Earth interstellar shipping less competitive, and possibly endanger Starfleet. They also predicted that removing Vulcan competition from the industry would likely make the Earth dilithium industry complacent and would hamper innovation.

The proponents of the bill once again accused Africa of selfishly looking out for her own interests; Africa was the hub of interstellar commerce on Earth.

In the end the bill passed by one vote. Sarek didn't have a chance to contemplate it--his front door was chiming. Quickly wiping Sybok's face, he put a hat on his son's head, put a sweater over the toddler's shoulders, and carried him down the stairs.

Opening the door, Sarek nodded once at Brian, Carrie's significant other. Nodding back to him, Brian turned his attention to Sybok and said boisterously, "Hey, Sybok, my man, what's up?"

Sarek's mind was briefly filled with the image of clouds, birds and satellites as Sybok tried to make sense of the expression. Sarek sent Sybok a wave of pleasant satisfaction -- despite all he had endured, and being surrounded by humans, his son was still quite logical.

When Sybok was strapped into his safety seat in the rear of the moving truck's cab and Sarek was belted in the front passenger seat, Brian said, "I heard the results of the Senate vote this morning. Sorry about that."

Sarek didn't quibble over the human propensity to apologize for what wasn't their doing. "We have some time," Sarek replied instead. "The bill does not take effect immediately...and we have other trading partners, of course."

x x x

As soon as they were in Amanda and Carrie's apartment, Brian went forward and kissed his partner. Balancing Sybok on one side of his body, Sarek held up two fingers to Amanda. She responded with a smile. Sarek saw no reason not to behave as a bonded pair in front of the human couple. They knew Amanda and Sarek's situation.

When Amanda and Sarek had visited Milock and his human bond-mate in South Korea, Sarek had been surprised to realize the whole neighborhood knew Milock and Hae-Won were together. By contrast, Doctor Al-Mazroui and Professor Nivack had felt the need to keep their relationship secret from her family and associates. Everything seemed to depend on the humans involved.

Amanda had told her parents she was moving in with him. They had not tried to dissuade her -- though Sarek knew Amanda suspected they were highly uncomfortable with the arrangement. She hoped to invite them to visit once she was "settled in."

Sarek had not told his mother yet. At some point he would have to, but he was sure when he did he would be pressured to return to Vulcan -- if he was pressured, Amanda would be, too, through their bond. She was somewhat open to the idea of moving to Vulcan, but Sarek would like the decision to move there, if that was indeed the path they chose, to not be made under duress.

Sybok began to fuss in Sarek's arms. The toddler projected a picture of himself with Carrie and Amanda sitting on either side of him tickling his ears. Sarek did not sigh, but it took effort.

"Oh, Sybok," said Carrie, "I got a new fish. Do you want to go see it with me and Mandy while your papa and Brian move furniture?" She held up her left hand to the toddler's cheek and her new engagement ring sparkled in the dim light of the foyer.

Sarek felt Amanda's envy as she caught the ring in her gaze. It wasn't the ring Amanda was envious of. Amanda had discovered after bonding to Sarek just how much she wanted to get married. His stomach fell a little at the thought of what he could not give her on Earth or on Vulcan.

Sybok clapped his hands together, elevated his eyebrows a few times and cocked his head.

"Oooooh, you are a cutie," said Carrie, squeezing his cheek.

"It's premeditated," said Amanda with a sigh, taking the toddler from Sarek's arms -- she understood Sybok's game.

Sybok's telepathic abilities were improving. As the two women escorted his son down the hall, Sarek could feel the toddler's pleasure at being surrounded by aesthetically pleasing females.

"No offense, Sarek," said Brian crossing his arms over his chest eyes following Carrie down the hall, "but your son is a flirt."

Apparently, telepathy was not needed to sense Sybok's true objectives. Sarek put his hands behind his back. "It would be illogical to take offense." He tilted his head at the human man. "Especially when the statement is true."

Brian made an indelicate noise halfway between a snort and a laugh.

x x x

Amanda ran her fingers through Sybok's hair and tweaked his ear. "Come on," she said, "you've seen the fish. Let's go see what your daddy and Uncle Brian are up to."

"Come on, Sybok," said Carrie, offering her hand encouragingly. Her left hand. Amanda had never particularly noticed engagement rings before. Now she did.

It was illogical. She and Sarek were bonded, it was permanent, and a marriage license was mostly symbolic. True, it granted legal rights, but they could arrange most of the same rights through various other legal means.

Averting her eyes, she walked with Sybok and Carrie down the hall to her own room -- well, what had been her room. From the open door came Sarek's voice, "The metal frame is very well made. I believe it will be strong enough. Amanda, we should practice having you restrain me."

What? Amanda burst quickly into the room. Her mattress was leaning against the wall. Sarek was lying on the floor under the bed frame, a screwdriver in his hand. Brian was holding up the strut of the bed he was operating on. "Sarek!" Amanda said sharply.

He blinked up at her.

Brian turned his head and stared at her.

"Amanda?" said Carrie.

And then it hit her. Sarek hadn't said those words aloud, of course. Sometimes she still got confused by what he said and what he thought.

Carrie looked quickly between the two of them and smiled slyly. "Why Sarek, did you think something naughty Amanda's way?"

"I assure you, I was thinking of matters that were eminently practical," said Sarek evenly.

Amanda narrowed her eyes. What he said was true, of course -- Vulcans did not lie, but she was beginning to see how easily her bond-mate, lover, husband-in-all-but-name, could misdirect.

Not that she didn't love him for it. She didn't want him to say what he had been thinking.

Through her bond she could tell that Sarek was somewhere between being mortified by what could have been revealed a few moments ago and finding the situation extremely 'funny.' Well, not 'funny' precisely, but he had a bit of that sense of pleasant satisfaction he felt when he solved a puzzle -- the Vulcan equivalent of a sense of humor.

Sarek turned to Brian and said, "Would you please hand me the other screwdriver? I think this one is not quite large enough."

His words were even and controlled, but Amanda's mind was suddenly filled with images of exactly what he would like her to do to him while he was tied down. Amanda felt her face and other parts of her go hot. She felt perfectly justified when she picked up a stray pillow and threw it at him.

Brian and Carrie both gave low chuckles.

"Come on Carrie, Sybok, let's go see the truck," Amanda said quickly, pulling the toddler and her attached friend with her.

Behind her she heard Brian say, "Humans!"

x x x

A few hours later at her new home Amanda and Carrie were in Sarek's closet -- well, now it was Amanda's closet too. She surveyed the space, about a meter wide and two meters deep, with hanging racks and shelves on three sides. There was a nondescript box on the floor, clothes on hangers, and some linens on the shelves above the hangers. Really, it looked like it was barely a quarter full, but Sarek had spread everything out.

"Why has he spread everything out? If you just do some rearranging I think everything will fit," said Carrie.

"Yes," said Amanda moving Sarek's clothes to one side of the closet. Actually, she could see there was a method to his "sprawl." One side of the closet was more formal Vulcan wear, one side less formal, one side Terran clothes.

"Sybok went to sleep really quickly," said Carrie absently.

"He had a very exciting morning. Two women doting on him," said Amanda, putting her hands on her hips and surveying the closet again.

"He is a charmer," said Carrie with a smile.

Amanda took a deep breath. "I used to think that the Vulcan practice of bonding their children at age seven was primitive, but now that I know Sybok...I wonder if it might be better to do it earlier." She was only half joking.

Moving the box out of the closet towards Amanda's things, Carrie laughed. "I was going to say he'll be dangerous when he gets to be about seventeen." She looked at Amanda. "Do you think you'll take Doctor Al-Mazroui up on her offer and try to have a child?"

Amanda looked down. "I don't know. They can't even tell us what the chances of success might be. It would be very invasive. It seems like it would be a lot of work to get our hopes up without any real prospect of success."

"Oh." Carrie said. "I do understand not wanting to go through with it..."

"But..." said Amanda, "Sarek would really like to give it a go. It would mean a lot to him if we could have a baby."

"Really?" asked Carrie.

Amanda sighed and looked at her friend. "Chances are I'm going to make him a widower again. He would like it if we had a baby...a piece of me to keep around after I'm gone."

Carrie blinked. "That is just about the sweetest reason ever....Morbid. But sweet."

Amanda smiled tightly and looked away. "Yeah, I know..." Amanda could remember Sarek's anguish at losing T'Sala...no one deserved to go through that twice in one lifetime. She shook her head, took a breath, and looked up at Carrie. "What about you and Brian? You always said you were so-so on the subject of children."

Carrie smiled sheepishly. "I'm actually reconsidering that. You only live once...seems like a big part of the human experience. And...I know how Sarek feels. If I don't get Brian to lay off the junk food..." She shook her head.

x x x

"Hey guys," Amanda said, coming down the stairs. "Is everything alright."

Brian was pacing the foyer head down. Sarek was just outside the propped-open front door surveying the sidewalk.

"The bag that held the screws broke," said Sarek...this time she was sure it was aloud.

"We lost one of the bolts to your bed," Brian finished.

"Uh - oh," said Amanda. "Maybe I can help...I'm closer to the ground."

Amanda felt a twinge of "Vulcan humor" from Sarek when she said that. She looked up quickly and beamed at him, then turned her eyes to the floor. Something shiny caught her attention in the far corner of her eye. Ah, there by Carrie's shoes. Amanda stepped quickly over and sprung upon her suspected quarry. "Yep, found it!" she said triumphantly holding up the bolt.

"Wow, that was fast," said Brian.

"We have been looking for it for exactly twenty-three minutes and forty-seven seconds," said Sarek. Amanda could feel his admiration through the link.

Amanda smiled and winked at her bond-mate.

Coming forward, Sarek brought two fingers up and she touched them with her free hand. Amanda felt a familiar spark. Now that they were bonded, Sarek felt it completely appropriate to engage in 'finger kisses' in front of T'Lana, Sybok, Carrie and Brian. He even gave them to her in public spaces if he was certain no Vulcans were around.

Sarek wasn't smiling, but she could feel his good humor when he said, "Let it never be said that a diminuitive stature cannot be..."

At exactly that moment, Carrie screamed.

**A/N:**

Reviews are the only way Fan Fiction authors and our betas get paid. If you enjoyed please hit the review button and let us know.


	40. Something for Everyone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda or Sarek -- nor do I profit from them**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom - She has another Story up now - The Visitor, check it out.

**  
Something for Everyone**

Brian was the closest to the stairs and up them first. He was too large to get around so Sarek had to be patient with the human's slower pace. Behind him he could hear Amanda's light footsteps.

Sarek heard a soft thudding noise from his room and hissing.

"Get away from me," Carrie yelled and there was another soft thud.

Sybok started to cry from the other bedroom.

Brian burst into Sarek and Amanda's room, Sarek and Amanda right behind. Carrie was standing a dazed expression on her face staring at a small hissing sephlat.

"What in the world..." said Brian.

"It's not real," said Carrie softly. "I hit it with the pillow and the pillow passed right through it.

"That's a sephlat, isn't it?" said Amanda, Sarek could feel her excitement and puzzlement through the bond. "Sarek, you don't have a sephlat..."

"No," he said stepping forward. The hologram started to hiss. Ignoring the hissing he reached down through the sephlat, felt a small round pedestal and picked it up. Feeling the control buttons, he pressed a few. There was a brief flash of light and the sephlat disappeared. In his hand rested the black pedestal, only as wide as his palm. There was a small readout console on top with control buttons. Sarek pressed the buttons again and the hologram changed to some flowers native to his own region of Vulcan. "It is a hologram."

From his room Sybok howled.

"Pardon me," said Sarek handing the device to Amanda, "I will try to get Sybok back to sleep."

As he left he felt Amanda's comprehension and compassion. It was the hologram T'Yavi had used to distract Sybok when she "entertained". Sarek had never felt comfortable using it as a toy.

Eleven minutes and fifteen seconds later when he came back into his bedroom after quieting Sybok the three humans were sitting on the floor. Amanda was holding the hologram device, now turned off. Carrie was whispering, "What else can it make?"

Sarek could feel Amanda's curiosity and excitement as she read the little console. The console gave directions in Vulcan, but since their bonding Amanda's Vulcan had improved dramatically. Her understanding was near perfect, although she still had great difficulty with pronunciation.

"Oh, let's try this one," said Amanda. She pressed a few buttons and a tiny replica of a Vulcan space craft launched a quarter meter off the hologram generator and did a few turns in the air.

All three humans let out a collective ah.

Brian looked up and said, "Sarek, I thought we were friends..."

Sarek blinked. How presumptuous. Then he felt Amanda reaching out to him through the link. He looked up to see her mouthing words. _He's joking Sarek. _

No sound came from her lips, she still felt like she needed to say or at least mouth the words to be understood.

"How could you keep this from me?" Brian asked. "I want one!"

"Sarek," asked Carrie, "Does everyone on Vulcan have these? How come they haven't come to Earth?"

Deciding that Brian's question was rhetorical Sarek decided to answer Carrie's. "It is a relatively new technology on Vulcan," Sarek said coming forward and sitting on the floor next to Amanda. "And the process by which these are made is expensive -- a great deal of water is required in the manufacturing of the special data-light nodes that are needed to generate the illusion."

"Earth has plenty of water," Brian commented.

Staring at the hovering hologram of the space craft Amanda said, "It doesn't look like any hologram I've seen. It looks real...All our holograms are projected into mist or smoke and you can see the beams of light used to make them."

"Ahhh..." said Sarek. "The process takes advantage of some of the unique properties of dilithium crystals. The outline of the shape, and the light and data waves feeding into it are actually made up of dilithium crystals, specially refined and milled to microscopic proportions."

He waved a hand under the craft and portions of it disappeared. "You see, as my hand interferes with the data and light waves portions of the illusion vanish. The dilithium crystals are able to reflect light, or absorb it based on the data in the beams."

"Fantastic," said Brian.

Carrie shook her head. "Everyone is going to want one of these."

And then a thought raced through Amanda's mind. Sarek met her eyes...it might actually be possible...

Oddly, it was Brian who spoke the thought aloud. "You know Sarek, I think the new law on dilithium crystals only pertains to dilithium for transport purposes...but I could be wrong." He tilted his head. "Would humans be able to mill and refine dilithium crystals to the specifications needed for this?"

Sarek felt his eyebrows raise slightly. "I would estimate not for another fifty years at least. These are refined far past crystals used only for warp drives."

Carrie sat up straight and said quickly. "This is revolutionary! It's like when humans switched from VHS to DVDs. No one needed DVDs, not really, but everyone had to have a DVD player anyway. I suppose the picture quality may have been better...and DVDs were smaller and easier to transport..."

Sarek blinked. Was Carrie speaking partially in another language?

He felt Amanda's mind go blank with confusion. "Ummm..." Amanda said.

"Darling," said Brian dropping a hand on Carrie's knee. "I think you may have just related a fascinating bit of historical trivia....but it was all gibberish to us."

x x x

Sunday night after some some quality time with Amanda on their new bed -- which was satisfyingly sturdy and did not creak or bang the wall. Afterwards Sarek slept for a full hour and a half with Amanda nestled in the crook of his arm. On waking he admired her form only partially covered by a sheet for a full three minutes. Gently kissing her nose he quietly slipped away from her, crawled out from under the heavy duvet covering him and then went to finish some research he'd begun the night before.

Satisfied that Brian was correct in his interpretation of the new dilithium laws Sarek meditated for fifty-five minutes before Sybok awoke. Then he spent an hour of quality time with Sybok reviewing his son's most recent fascination -- planets. In particular the planets of the Sol System, still Sarek was pleased. They might some day have an interest in common.

Before going to work he said goodbye to a groggy Amanda, to T'Lana, who seemed to look at him less suspiciously now that he was bonded, and to Sybok of course. As he left he could feel Sybok broadcasting his feeling of contentment. His son was definitely feeling like the universe was more as it should be now that Amanda had moved in.

At 08:20 after spending forty-nine minutes explaining the hologram technology to T'Zena and Josef in her office Sarek was still feeling relaxed, happy even, though his countenance would never betray it. This emotional state was despite the fact that T'Zena obviously still had her doubts about his proposal.

Josef had spent the whole time fiddling with the hologram device changing it to one shape and then another. Periodically he would look up and say, "I am still listening."

Sarek was pleased. He had requested Josef's presence, and the human's behavior was validating Carrie's hypothesis.

"It would be a huge investment to start producing these on a large scale." T'Zena said. "As I understand it, we would not be able to take any existing facility and modify it for our purposes. We'd have to build a manufacturing plant from scratch."

"You are correct," Sarek responded.

Josef said something in German and smiled. "You can program your own shapes into it too." He looked up at Sarek and T'Zena and said, "I am still listening." Then he looked down at the console and began to press buttons very quickly.

"It is not something that is a necessity," said T'Zena. "I am not certain they will all take to this as we might hope." She looked for a long moment at Josef. The human looked up at her and shrugged, caught Sarek's eyes, and then quickly looked down again at the console in his hands.

T'Zena tapped a finger on her desk. "It will be an expensive luxury item..."

"Goal!" said Josef. He held up a crude looking hologram of a soccer ball, pushed up his glasses and said to T'Zena, "Sarek's right. Everyone is going to want one of these."

**A/N:**  
I still can't write as much as I used to, but I promise never to leave you in a cliff hanger for weeks on end. I hope you liked this little installment. I am working (slowly) on the next.

Thanks for all the reviews, it's nice to 'see' everyone again.


	41. The Honeymoon

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek, Amanda or T'Pau**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**The Honeymoon**

It was a honeymoon in their relationship, a happy in-between time in their lives. Amanda might not have Sarek's sixty plus years of life experience, but even she knew what temporary happiness--almost euphoria--felt like. Things were just too good. Soon there would be unpleasant realities to face, her family, Sarek's family...and would they move to Vulcan, stay on Earth?

Amanda decided not to worry in the first few weeks after she moved in with Sarek. Happiness was fleeting; she decided to enjoy it while she could.

She still took Vulcan lessons at the Embassy hoping to improve her atrocious pronunciation. Now that she was bonded to Sarek she no longer felt as comfortable with him as her 'teacher.' The relationship was too hierarchical. She'd tried to make pronunciation practice more egalitarian by turning it into a game, suggesting she bite him when her pronunciation was 'tolerable,' and he bite her when it wasn't. Sarek had declared it a win-win scenario for him and indulged her -- but it devolved too quickly into other things to be practical.

It was with Professor Karmac, her Vulcan language instructor at the Embassy, that Amanda started branching out professionally. On a whim Amanda had started reviewing Vulcan language textbooks for children. What she found dismayed her. The books and audio programs devised by humans were riddled with errors. The ones developed by Vulcans...well, they certainly put the rote back in rote memorization. The Vulcans had accomodated for inferior human memories, but the exercises were so dull only the most motivated of students would ever complete them.

She brought her insights to Professor Karmac, and bless his katra, the little old Vulcan professor was quite receptive. Together they began creating a new curriculum using Amanda's knowledge of human children's learning processes.

Sarek was also branching out professionally -- and enjoying it immensely. Amanda had long ago realized that when you were in a relationship--as an acquaintance, friendship, or lover--you were affected by the other's happiness proportionately to the intensity of the bond. Some of her happiness had to be Sarek's. Their bonding affected his mental well-being deeply, but he still had the niggling obligations of a political appointment that he found distasteful.

Outside of the Embassy Amanda introduced him to a human astrophysicist, a Dr. Noelle Lavelle who Amanda had met, of all places, at the park while pushing Sybok on the swings. Noelle had been pushing her daughter, Sophie, at the same time and started chatting with Amanda. When Noelle had said that she was an astrophysicist, Amanda had mentioned that "Sybok's father" was an astrophysicist who had been admitted to the Vulcan Science Academy. Things had progressed from there to Sarek being named as a co-author on a paper Noelle was submitting to the prestigious Galactic Astrophyscist. According to Sarek, Noelle had "proved conclusively that .039% of all cosmic rays originated in parallel universes."

Through her bond with him Amanda _felt_ how monumental Noelle's discovery was. And, when Sarek concentrated, she could also actually understand how Noelle had proven it.

His position at the Embassy was improving, too. He was working with T'Zena and the inventors of the holoscope device at the Vulcan Science Academy, reviewing financial estimates and the technical process of the manufacture of the devices. Sarek found the financial aspect interesting...the technical aspects fascinating. He was so wrapped up in this new responsibility he was too busy to deal with the unappealing 'political' aspect of his Embassy assignment.

x x x

Sarek was at home. It was just after 11 PM -- a month after Amanda had moved in with him.

He faced T'Pau on the subspace channel. _ "Elder T'Pau, I have been quite busy determining the initial capital investment that would be required to create a facility on Earth to mass produce the hologram devices. I have had little time to further scrutinize the books or otherwise investigate the activities of Mr. Friedmann."_

Sarek little doubted there was nothing to be found -- well, outside the potential that Josef and T'Zena were more intimately aquainted than T'Pau might be comfortable with. Sarek was determined not to pursue the matter. To do so might mean he'd lose Josef, his most interesting chess partner on Earth. Sarek had considered curtailing the chess games so as not to accidentally uncover any uncomfortable truths about Josef and T'Zena, but decided against it. After all Sarek and Josef never discussed anything personal during their games, and competing with an alien mind was so...fascinating.

_"Very well, Sarek. Exploring a new market for Vulcan premium dilithium crystals is the most important priority," _T'Pau said.

Sarek was certain that his outward countenance did not betray him, but his heart leaped at her casual acceptance of his change in priorities. No more tedious drilling through old accounts looking for anomalies he highly doubted existed.

_"When will the results of T'Zena's..._focus groups..._be available?_" T'Pau said.

Sarek and T'Pau had been speaking in Vulcan, of course, but T'Pau said the words 'focus groups' in Standard. Focus groups did not exist on Vulcan -- at least not in the form they did no Earth. Sarek had not even known what they were until T'Zena had explained the concept to him. The ambassador had not been content to take the word of Josef and a few of the other humans in the office. She wanted hard data on human response to the holograms from humans 'experienced in these matters.' And she wanted a price point.

_"We will start receiving analysis from the marketing research firms next week, although conclusive results will not be available for another month,"_ Sarek said.

_"Was it necessary to engage firms in thirteen of Earth's regions?" _ T'Pau said.

Sarek met her eyes. _"I believe so. Human culture is far from homogeneous. To justify our initial investment our product will need to have planet wide appeal."_

_"Of course," _said T'Pau. She was quiet for exactly two point five seconds. _"I hear it was you who initially brought forth this proposal."_

Sarek tilted his head; he was unsure of the implications of this statement. _"It is an extremely new and rare technology. Most likely I was the only sentient being on Earth who had such a device in my possession."_

_"I see,"_ T'Pau said. She tilted her head and stared hard at Sarek. _"T'Pau, out,"_ the elder said and Sarek's screen went black.

Through the bond he felt rather than saw Amanda come into his office. From behind him she put soft cool arms around his chest. Her cheek pressed against his back. _"Do I understand correctly?" _she said in his native tongue._ "Did you just get excused from your duties as a spy?"_

Sarek could not smile to convey his happiness. Instead he pulled Amanda around in front of him and pressed his forehead to hers._ "I believe so,"_ he said.

Amanda smiled for him and for a moment the link between them was pure light and joy.

And then Amanda's face went blank and the link went strangely quiet. _"A pity," _she said.

Sarek pulled his head back in surprise -- both at her ability to quiet their bond and her words.

_"I would have liked to know the true nature of Josef's and T'Zena's relationship," _she said with a wink._ "Imagine, Sarek...a human and a Vulcan...."_ The link bubbled to life again and was filled with good humor.

Sarek would have been able to logically deduce that she was joking from her words and circumstances, but it was much better to feel the electricity of her suppressed laughter through their bond.

Inhaling deeply, Sarek dropped his forehead and rolled it over hers. He let his hands drift down her back and hips to the place where bone turned to softness. _"Scandalous,"_ he said feeling a very pleasant wave of satisfaction that was only partially from the shared joke.

Amanda smiled wide again and Sarek caught her bottom lip gently in his teeth.

**A/N:**

Sorry, I'm still not 'back' back...but I am still writing. There are a few more chapters that simply must be written. Like how they wind up married.

If you enjoyed, please leave a review. Its the only way Fanfiction authors and our betas get paid.


	42. Check

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek, Amanda or T'Pau**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom**  
**

**Check**

Looking back at it, Sarek would realize that he was hardly the first Vulcan to be undone by the promise of a good game of 3D chess.

It was late afternoon a few weeks after his subspace call with T'Pau.

Leaning against the door frame in Sarek's office Josef said, "Is Vulcan looking to take this technology to other solar systems?"

Sarek tilted his head sharply. He had not announced his intention in that matter, yet Josef had guessed. The limitations of the human mind -- and conversely human capabilities--were striking. Even the most common sort of Vulcan would have done better at programming a soccer ball in the hologram device than Josef, but to imagine the tactical advantages of taking this new technology to other systems would not occur to someone like T'Lana, Sybok's nurse.

"Sarek?" Josef said.

Sarek nodded. "I was going to suggest to the Vulcan High Council that we explore the potential of taking the technology to other members of the Federation -- Andoria, the Tellurites..."

"The Tellurites?" Josef said. "They have very primitive notions of intellectual property rights. Share your technology with them and it will be shared with the Orions within three rotations of the Tellurite moons." The human frowned. "And the Orion competition would completely destroy what is sure to be what is one of Earth's primary..."

Sarek stared at the human, waiting for him to finish the thought. Instead, Josef said, "What about Betazed?"

"They are not members of the Federation," Sarek said. It was at that moment that Sarek felt a sinking feeling in his stomach -- a feeling that was not his own.

He reached out across the bond. _Amanda?_

He felt a tentative response. _Sarek, are you there?_

"But the Betazeds respect intellectual property," Josef said. "You'd be better off --"

"You must excuse me, Mr. Friedmann. I have a matter to attend to at this moment."

Josef tilted his head, looked hard at Sarek for a long moment, and then left without a further word.

Reaching out across the bond Sarek felt Amanda's presence. She was definitely upset about something. _Amanda, what is wrong?_

_Nothing terrible, Sarek...it's just...remember how I was supposed to meet Julian's Mom after school?_

_Of course,_ Sarek replied.

_Well, she has to stay at work until 18:30, and I don't think she'll be able to get here until seven...it's taken me over a month to set up this meeting with her. I know it's our date night, but I think it's really important to Julian that I meet with her._

Sarek could feel her disappointment, which of course he shared and understood She was also anxious, too, which he didn't understand. Given the potential significance this meeting would have for her young student, there really was only one acceptable response. _Your meeting with Julian's mother is more important. I will see you at home._

Amanda's anxiety evaporated. _Thank you so much for understanding, Sarek! Since we have T'Lana anyway, maybe you could go out...play chess with Josef or something -- didn't you do that before we bonded?_

Sarek felt his neurons spark at the possibility. He hadn't had his weekly chess game with Josef yet...

x x x

Later that evening Sarek found himself sitting across from Josef in a booth at McLeary's Irish Pub, a hot cup of tea in front of him, a pint of some foaming alcoholic beverage in front of Josef, and a chess board in between them both. Sarek found the noise level in the pub somewhat surprising -- it was muted. The pub environment was almost more like a human living room. There was even a fireplace at one end of the room with two heavily upholstered chairs nearby.

"So, Sarek," Josef said, moving a pawn. "I keep wondering what other Vulcan technologies are waiting to be brought to the rest of the galaxy. You've shared so much with everyone -- but it seems like there is much more. If you could monetize it better..."

"Indeed," Sarek said, moving a pawn of his own. "I was going to suggest to the Vulcan ambassadors of the other Federation worlds that we create...focus groups...to review new technologies that perhaps do not generate great interest on Vulcan. It has occurred to me that other races might find them valuable."

"Really?" said Josef, taking a sip of beer. "I would be very interested in hearing more about that."

Sarek went on to describe some of the devices that he'd researched recently. By the time he was done, Josef was finished with his beverage and ordering another.

Looking at the board Sarek tilted his head. "Fascinating. Intoxication does not seem to have affected your game."

Shrugging, Josef took a new pint from a passing waitress and said, "I'm German; this is mother's milk to me."

Sarek blinked. That put images he'd rather not contemplate into his mind. Looking hard at the human, Sarek said, "That is a figure of speech?"

"Yes," said Josef, taking a sip from his glass.

Sarek was dimly aware of the pub's door opening and a new patron coming in and sauntering up to the bar.

"You do realize, when you make such statements to Vulcans we picture it literally?" Sarek took a sip of tea, illogically hoping the hot liquid would burn the offending image from his mind. It did not.

Josef swished his drink in his glass. "I wouldn't think Vulcans would be able to complete the mental picture without knowing what my mother actually looks like. It would be un-Vulcan to be so imaginative."

"You have a picture of your mother and father in your office," Sarek said.

Josef's eyes narrowed. Pushing up his glasses he said, "Don't think of my mother like that, Sarek."

"Believe me, I am trying not to. It would help if you did not make use of such suggestive idioms --"

From the bar came a feminine voice that was familiar -- and very intoxicated. "I-know-I-am-drunk. That's why they push'd me out of the last bar. But I need to get more drunnnk, sooooo....."

Sarek turned his head to see a green-skinned woman wearing something tight and skimpy that might have been generously described as a dress. He blinked. It was Tirissa, the Orion who had so shamelessly made advances at him at the Federation event -- the advances had been frustratingly effective. He'd be immune to those advances now but...would she be able to detect his bonded status? Would she comment on it? Not that any word on his bonded status would tell Josef definitively who he was bonded to, but if asked...

Sarek turned back to his human companion. Josef's lips were pressed together very tightly and he was holding his glass up by the side of his face closest to the bar -- was he obscuring Tirissa's view? Not a bad idea really, since making a quick exit would mean going past the Orion. Sarek looked down at his teacup; unfortunately, it would not be as useful for the same purpose.

From the bar came Tirissa's voice again. "My Vulcan man!"

Sarek took a sip of tea but did not respond. It would be illogical; obviously he was not hers. What a dishonest use of a possessive.

"Josef!" said the Orion's voice, this time much closer.

Glancing up, Sarek saw Josef put his glass down on the table. The human gave an audible sigh. "Tirissa, I thought you were on Andoria with Shirev."

Tirissa sidled up to their booth. "Shirev died," she said. "Move over."

Josef slipped to the side and Tirissa didn't so much as sit down as fall into the booth. She dropped her head down onto her arms. "After fifteen years...He went the way he always wanted to go...you know, while we were..."

Josef patted her back. "Yes, of course, we know."

Not looking up, Tirissa said, "He was so ollldddd...I shouldn't have let him talk me into it." She sniffed. "But he wanted it so badly -- and a life lived in fear is a life half lived and all that... but..." The Orion woman took a deep breath. Pulling her head up, she looked at Josef. "I will miss him so."

"I know you will," said Josef, patting her back again.

Tirissa turned to Sarek. Tears stood in her eyes. Sarek felt a small feminine foot slide up his leg. "So now I'm baack on Earth to drown my sorrows and seek companionship."

The foot reached his lap. Sarek caught it and pushed it to the side. He tilted his head disapprovingly.

Tirissa stared at him, her mouth opened in a small 'o'. Furrowing her brows she said, "Damn Tiana's Bells...now you're _both_ taken."

Slamming a hand on the table, the Orion woman got up and swayed back over to the bar.

Sarek felt his body go cold, although he was certain outwardly he betrayed nothing but calm.

Josef's eyes met his own. Sarek's jaw tensed. The line of Josef's mouth got very thin. Looking down at the chessboard, the human said, "Your move, Sarek."

Sarek moved his rook, and realized that it was a poorly made choice.

Taking off his glasses, Josef rubbed his eyes. The human made his next move and then said softy. "Amanda?"

Sarek said nothing; he just made his next play.

"It's alright. I suspected," said Josef.

Did Josef presume to hold this over him in some way? Sarek tilted his head, "And you and the ambassador?"

Josef's fingers drummed across the table top; his jaw tensed.

"I have suspicions, too," Sarek said. He made his next play.

"And yet you have done nothing," Josef said. His body relaxed and he moved one of his remaining pawns. Sarek was certain for an instant he almost smiled, but then the smile disappeared and Josef looked up again quickly. "Why do you suspect?"

Sarek blinked. Ah, of course it was logical. If Sarek suspected, Josef would worry others would, too. He would want to curtail anything that gave suspicions. Josef and T'Zena's behavior was very discreet but...

"At the Federation Event," Sarek said, "you spoke very intimately to Tirissa -- but then slipped away from her with surprising ease. Although...I had no suspicions until after I learned of the potential of human Vulcan bonds. I believe no one else would notice."

Josef's eyes went back to the board and he seemed to relax a bit.

What did humans say--turnabout was fair play? "And you?" Sarek asked. "Your suspicions are based on?"

Josef shrugged. "I just had a hunch."

Sarek moved his knight. "That is an unacceptable explanation."

Josef shrugged again, eyes focused on the board.

Sarek ran through every moment he had been with Amanda in Josef's company, starting with the first time he saw Amanda on the stair. He remembered Josef following his gaze and commenting that Amanda was a "pretty girl." The next time, it had been after Josef had suggested Sarek lead Professor Karmac's Vulcan language class. Josef had introduced himself to Amanda and then said, "I'm glad Sarek didn't scare you away." And actually, it was Josef who had suggested that Sarek seek a dance partner...and that Amanda watch Sybok...

Sarek reached into Amanda's memories...She _had_ been thinking about leaving the ball when Josef ran into her, but Josef convinced her to stay, and charmed her quite thoroughly. Sarek's hand clenched into a fist. But then Josef had yielded quite gracefully when Sarek asked Amanda to dance -- and he had not attempted to cut in when Sarek had monopolized her time.

Sarek took a deep breath and looked up at the human. There was a human expression for this, wasn't there? "Did you set us up?" Sarek asked.

Josef's eyes were still on the board, but he smiled tightly as he made his next move. "Check mate, Sarek."

**A/N:**

So one mystery solved! I'm trying to keep cliffies to a minimum since I'm not updating as often. Hope you enjoyed (I thought there were a few laughs in there). If you did, please leave a review. They do help keep me going.


	43. Vulcans Don't Share The Prequel

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek, Amanda or T'Pau**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**Vulcans Don't Share (The Prequel)**

Amanda was sitting in bed reading a novel when Sarek came home. She knew all; he'd told her about Tirissa and the subsequent conversation with Josef on his way home. As he entered the room she could not repress a grin.

Sarek blinked at her. "You feel...pride?"

Amanda's mouth widened to the point it almost hurt. "Yes! I feel like it was a victory for humans."

Taking off his jacket Sarek said, "The chess game or the...setup?"

That's right, Josef had won the chess game, too. She'd forgotten about that. "Both!" Amanda said.

"You are not troubled that you were a pawn in his manipulations?" Sarek said, removing his shirt and undershirt and pulling a long sleeved form-fitting black thermal top from the closet.

"Nope," said Amanda with a wiggle she couldn't repress. "I still count it as a point for humans -- and I was more the queen than the pawn." She shrugged. "Besides, I'm happy about how everything turned out."

Sarek's face did not change, but she felt a warmth not her own rise in her stomach after her words.

Slipping on a pair of long, loose-fitting pajama bottoms, Sarek slipped into bed next to her. He pulled the duvet on his side up over himself. Amanda was quite comfortable in a skimpy teddy with only a sheet covering her. She wiggled a little closer to him, expecting her evening cuddle and the other things that often went along with it.

It did not come.

"Nothing else bothers you about this evening?" Sarek said.

Amanda felt an odd sensation in the pit of her stomach. An emptiness...

"No, should it?" Amanda asked. She reviewed the events of her evening. Her conversation with Julian's mother had gone very well, her trip home had been uneventful, Sybok had been extra cute when she got home -- teeth already brushed, and pajamas on. Amanda had read him "Goodnight Moon" while T'Lana cleaned up his dinner. And then Amanda had a light dinner herself and curled up in bed with a good book.

She looked down at Sarek. She was still sitting with her back to the headboard, but he already had his head on his pillow. Beneath the duvet it appeared his hands were crossed over his chest, his eyes focused at the ceiling.

Something was bothering him and she was completely at a loss. She tried to reach across the bond, and felt...emptiness. "Sarek -- are you cutting me off?"

The long lump that was her bond-mate's lean frame beneath the duvet seemed to stiffen. "I am being illogical. I am shielding you from it."

Amanda swallowed. For a Vulcan to admit to illogic was a difficult thing. He must be hurting.

"I don't care if you are being illogical," she said. "Don't lock me out." Trying to lighten the mood she said, "Remember, I'm human. I can handle things that are illogical."

Amanda felt a small ripple of loneliness and then the emerald face of the Orion woman Tirissa filled her mind.

"You were not disturbed by her behavior tonight," Sarek said.

Amanda blinked. Sarek never had any interest in the Orion woman, other than the physical -- and even before they had bonded he had been able to resist that. Tonight he hadn't been interested at all when she'd made advances on him. "Why would I be disturbed? I trust you implicitly, Sarek." She stroked one of his ears. "And I certainly can't fault her for her good taste."

Sarek did not move. "Your outlook is very logical."

It was a high compliment. But Amanda felt that peculiar loneliness more keenly.

And suddenly it hit her. "Would it make you feel better if I told you I wanted to chop her up into itty bitty green pieces?"

Sarek's eyes met hers, then looked away. "No, you do not mean it."

Amanda pinched his ear savagely. "Well, how about this: I will never share you with another woman...ever." Something bright bubbled inside her. She pulled on the ear and he followed the tug until his head rested in her lap.

_"That is acceptable,"_ he said in Vulcan.

With a slight groan of exasperation, she tugged as hard as she could at the night shirt he was wearing until one of his shoulders was exposed. With all her might she bit down. The brightness inside her flared, and her vision went slightly black.

_"Again, please," _said Sarek.

**A/N**

Really short, but it doesn't fit with the next chapter, and I really wanted the last chapter to end with "checkmate…" The title is taken from a Spock/Number One friendship fic I wrote. Anyway, something to keep the story in your minds as I slowly plunk out the next couple chapters…I hope it made you laugh!


	44. Next Moves

**Disclaimer: I don't own Amanda, Sarek or T'Pau.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom! She has a great story out right now "The Word Is", I've read the whole thing, and it's great! It's in my favorites.

**Next Moves**

"May I pose personal query, Josef?" Sarek said.

It was a week after Josef and Sarek's chess game at the pub. They were playing again, this time in Sarek's office during their lunch break.

Josef put a piece down on the board heavily. They were limiting their moves to thirty second intervals. Josef looked up at him quickly. "I can't guarantee I'll answer."

Sarek moved his piece. "Do your respective parents know of your union?" T'Zena's father and uncle were among those opposed to the High Council's policy of accommodation towards human Vulcan pairs -- could they possibly know of Josef?

"My parents know her. They like her. Of course they wish she was Jewish." He looked up at Sarek and smiled slightly.

Sarek stared at the human without comprehension. Was that a wry smile? An ironic smile? A joking smile? Sarek tilted his head.

"I'm joking," Josef said helpfully. "Mostly. They do not know how serious the relationship is." Josef moved a piece. It was an ill-considered move.

Sarek made his next play.

"Her bond mate died before they were married," Josef said. "She was never asked to re-bond. As I understand, it isn't uncommon for a woman to be held in reserve." He moved his rook.

Sarek kept his eyes on the board. T'Yavi had been allowed to remain unbonded. Having an of-age female unbonded meant that a family could take advantage of unexpected situations in which a male Vulcan needed a bond-mate. Some females remained unbonded their whole lives. Without the shackles of Pon Farr they had a great deal more freedom, although such a status was generally perceived as selfish and illogical.

Sarek moved a piece and Josef countered immediately.

"And your parents?" Josef asked.

Sarek looked up quickly. "My mother does not know. My bond-mate's family does."

"I hope you can hold off mentioning anything to your mother until after the holoscope manufacturing issues are all resolved," Josef said, eyes on the board.

Sarek moved a pawn. "That may not be possible." Amanda was adamant that Sarek tell his mother -- soon. She argued it wasn't fair to any prospective bond-mate or her family to be deceived...and he had to concede she was right.

Looking up quickly, Josef pushed up his glasses. "Your family is part of the conservative faction that opposes tolerance of Vulcan-Human unions; they might insist in your relocation..."

"They can insist, but they cannot force me," Sarek said. Although, the sort of pressure that would be put on Sarek through his bond to his mother would be uncomfortable.

Josef blinked. "It would be a terrible time to lose you."

"I think my mother will see the logic in the situation, no matter what her brother's politics," Sarek said -- but would his uncle use the sibling bond to bully his mother if he were to find out? "She may keep her peace until my work here is done." And then would he move to Vulcan or stay on Earth? Noelle had said that just about any University would be willing to take Sarek on as a professor of Astrophysics.

"Really?" Josef said.

Looking up, Sarek met the human's eyes. He looked -- surprised perhaps?

Looking down at the board, Josef hesitantly moved a piece and then said quietly, "I thought when when T'Dana...your mother, pushed to have you sent here, that you were either a spy for them -- T'Zena is always angering the conservative faction...or you were being set up with T'Zena. Or both."

Keeping his visage completely neutral, Sarek moved his knight.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Josef made his next play. "But of course, Vulcans wouldn't set a couple up in that way..."

"Although apparently we are quite susceptible to such manipulations," said Sarek, moving a piece of his own.

Josef let out a low chuckle, his eyes still downcast. "I think you're going to win this match, Sarek."

x x x

As it happened, Sarek's next subspace with his mother made it impossible not to reveal his new status.

"Sarek, T'Pau has told me of your recent dealings with the Vulcan Ambassador to Andoria and the Vulcan Science Academy," his mother said. "Your suggestion to use the active molecular cooling treatment from the new space suit fibers in ordinary textiles has generated a great deal of interest."

"There is no guarantee it can be done, mother," Sarek said. "I merely read about the new treatment and suggested that exploring the possibility of modifying the material for Andorian textiles would be quite beneficial to both our species. Other races could use the technology as well..." For instance, humans visiting Vulcan would find the trip much more comfortable if their garments helped modulate their temperature. Sarek did not say this outloud; instead he simply said, "But the Andorian market still shows the most promise."

"Indeed," said his mother, her face perfectly controlled. The bond between parent and child at Sarek's age was tenuous, but he could feel a flicker of admiration and pride from his mother.

"You are making a name for yourself, Sarek. Your technological interests and links to the Vulcan Science Academy are making you a most interesting diplomat."

Sarek looked down.

"Your hand in bringing the holoscopes to Earth, and opening a new market for our dilithium, are well known," his mother said. "I believe that with these sorts of accomplishments, finding a bond-mate will be much easier than we expected."

And that was it. If there was any logic in concealing his bond with Amanda from his mother, it was gone.

"That will not be necessary, Mother," Sarek said, raising his eyes and meeting her own.

Through the bond he felt confusion. "But you had requested..."

"I am already bonded," Sarek said.

His mother straightened. Sarek felt the tiniest sinking sensation in his stomach -- her sadness. "But why didn't you tell me?" his mother asked. "Choosing your own bond-mate is unconventional, but in your situation all options had to be considered. I am not so illogical and a slave to tradition that I would be unable to understand that. I could have worked with her parents; there was no need to bond in secret..." His mother looked down for a moment then looked up quickly. "She defied the wishes of her family...that is why you did not tell me."

Amanda's parents certainly did not wish for her to bond with him. "In a manner of speaking..." said Sarek, prepared to slip into the circuitous mode of speaking he used with T'Pau. But this was his mother. "Mother, I bonded with Miss Amanda Grayson. We are intellectually compatible, and she is good for my son."

Amanda's name could never be mistaken for a Vulcan name. Sarek's mother tilted her head, her mouth opening slightly. From his bond with her Sarek felt...nothing.

"What!?" she said. It was the first time in his life that Sarek had ever heard inflection in his mother's voice.

x x x

Amanda knew before Sarek came down the stairs that something had happened. She was preparing a salad for dinner and was too busy chopping cucumbers and keeping Sybok amused to "listen in." Nonetheless, she felt a pressure in the air, like before a storm.

Placing a bowl in front of Sybok, she felt the air grow even more heavy. Looking up, her eyes met Sarek's. "You had to tell her, didn't you?" she asked.

"Yes," Sarek said.

"Sit down," Amanda said. "I'll get your plate and a glass of wine."

Sybok banged his spoon on his tray.

"I'll get you some wine too, Sy," Amanda said.

Sarek sat down with his elbows on the table; he leaned his chin on his hands and seemed lost in thought. He wasn't trying to lock her out, she realized--he was trying to compose himself.

"You did the right thing," Amanda said.

"Yes," said Sarek. Saying nothing more, he held two fingers out towards her.

x x x

After the call, Amanda did not think much of it. She might have worried since Sarek said he did expect "some reaction," but Sarek himself was studiously not worrying, and she was affected by his mental discipline.

A week after Sarek's call with his mother, Amanda was hurrying home from work, two awkward packages in her arms, Sarek's mother the furthest thing from her mind. What was on her mind was the toddler-sized bicycle helmet and the "Scoot" she was carrying. A "Scoot" was a tiny bicycle without peddles; it taught children to balance before forcing them to learn to use peddles. Since Sybok didn't even use the peddles on his tricycle anyway, it seemed like a logical gift. Also, Sybok was quite fascinated by his friends Jack and Noelle's Scoots.

Amanda could barely wait to show it to him. She had her evening all planned out. She'd take the Scoot home to Sybok, strap on the little helmet and the two of them would Scoot-walk-jog to the playground together. Sybok would see his friends Jack and Noelle, and they would race around the outskirts of the playground on their Scoots. Amanda would commune with Jack's father Joe and Noelle, Sophie's mother -- both always enjoyable company. Later they'd go home, Sarek would be there, and probably dinner would already be ready.

As she opened the front door to their home, she put the Scoot down and braced it against the door with her knee; nothing seemed amiss. But then she heard T'Lana's voice speaking steadily in Vulcan, _"It is ill-advised to speak about the woman he considers his mother in this fashion."_

Another woman's voice shot back quickly. _"She is obviously not his mother, she is a human, and it is illogical for him to consider her so. Moreover, as his grandmother I outrank you and --"_

Amanda's heart fell to her stomach.

_"It is illogical to consider rank before truth," _said T'Lana quickly, quoting a saying of Surak.

Not even bothering to take off the light coat she wore, Amanda bolted into the kitchen. Three Vulcans turned their heads as she entered the room--T'Lana, Sybok, and a woman Amanda had never met before but who she knew instantly was Sarek's mother.

**A/N:**

Okay, a bit of cliffie there! Hope you liked it --

In my down time I wrote something for the Narnia fandom, "The Good Faun"...I watched the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe during a RL crisis day, and suddenly realized...wait, Tumnus seems so innocent...but he's a FAUN! He is "innocent" in my story, if you keep an open mind about it...but only if you keep an open mind...


	45. The Visit

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sybok, Amanda or Sarek**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom! Check out her newest story "The Word You Mean" in my favorites.

**The Visit**

As soon as she was in the kitchen Sybok ran towards her and hit her legs with the force of a cannon ball. Amanda didn't need to be telepathic to instantly understand he was terrified.

If looks could kill...

The look Amanda shot her mother-in-law, T'Dana, would have been instantly recognizable as fury by another human. Who knew what T'Dana thought--her face remained inscrutable.

Picking up Sybok, Amanda gave no further acknowledgment of the woman; she had more important matters to attend to, and if T'Dana couldn't see it, too bad.

"It's okay, Sy," she said, patting his back reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere." A little hand came to her face and she was filled with panic -- Sybok's, and it was almost overwhelming. Closing her eyes she pushed her face to the side of his head and said, "Shhhhh....shhh....Everything will be fine." She closed her eyes and forced herself to believe those words. Could T'Dana find a way to take Sybok away...if Sarek had to choose between her and his son...

T'Dana entered the room, her face still a mask.

Amanda shook her head, trying to hold back her fury, but sight of T'Dana sent a new wave of panic through Sybok's little fingertips on her cheek, and she couldn't hold back. The volume of the words she spoke had to be recognizable as rage, even to a Vulcan. "How can you do this to Sybok? He's already been through enough. Sarek has been through enough!"

As soon as she said the words she regretted them. She was being human; losing control was no way to win a Vulcan over. But it was too late now.

She carried Sybok to the window, buried her face in his hair again and tried to think happy thoughts. "It's okay, Sy, it's okay."

"Ms. S'chn T'gai," said T'Lana in her normally imperious tones, "I noticed in your haste you left Sybok's new toy and helmet outside the front door. I have brought it into the foyer for you."

She'd just addressed Amanda by Sarek's family name, an open acknowledgment of her support for her. There had been times in the past when Amanda had wanted to kiss the old Vulcan woman. The feeling had never been stronger than now.

At the mention of "new toy," Sybok's panic waned a little bit.

"That's right, Sy, I got you a Scoot, just like Jack's and Sophie's. We'll take it to the park and practice riding, okay? It's still light out," said Amanda.

"Ms. S'chn T'gai, your husband said he would be arriving home late tonight," said T'Lana.

Amanda closed her eyes; she had forgotten Sarek and T'Zena were meeting with the governors of several Earth municipalities to discuss the location of the new holoscope plant.

"I will prepare dinner for you while you are out with Sybok," said T'Lana, nodding once and turning towards the kitchen.

Amanda was in the old Vulcan's debt once again -- at least she wouldn't have to cook for Sarek's mother; she probably would have burnt the food out of spite.

Putting Sybok on the floor Amanda said, "Come on, Sy. Let's go. We'll go to the park; you'll ride your Scoot."

Amanda steeled herself to invite T'Dana, to try and be civil, even if T'Dana wasn't. She would show that humans could be rational --

"I will accompany you," said T'Dana before Amanda had a chance to form the words.

"Sarek..." Amanda said, trying to contact him and slipping into her custom to saying her thoughts outloud.

T'Dana's head tilted at her son's name.

Amanda pulled on Sybok's hand and tried reaching across the bond without speaking aloud. _Please come home._

_I cannot,_ _Amanda_. _This meeting is vital._

Amanda didn't think; she just felt her own desperation rise. She glanced up at T'Dana's perfectly composed visage.

_She is not composed. She is frightened and sad, Amanda. _

What came next from him was this feeling of compete and utter confidence, the Vulcan equivalent of "you'll do fine."

x x x

Amanda did not take Sybok to the normal playground they went to. She didn't want to introduce T'Dana to Sophie, Jack, and their parents. Instead she took him to Golden Gate Park and let him ride his Scoot on the trails. He was eager but not very proficient yet, and it was easy enough to walk next to him.

The one good thing about having a Vulcan in-law over was that Amanda didn't have to make small talk; she focused on keeping Sybok away from the ponds and from riding out into the street. It gave her time to cool down.

Sybok did not ride between her and T'Dana. He carefully kept Amanda between him and his grandmother. At first this gave Amanda a feeling of victory, but as the sun began to sink in the sky she almost began to feel pity for the woman. "Frightened and sad," Sarek had said. Amanda shook her head. T'Dana had let her own prejudice poison her relationship with her only grandson.

x x x

T'Lana had cooked traditional Vulcan food for dinner. It was definitely simple food. Sarek suspected it was something native to whatever province she had come from, but it was unmistakably Vulcan, and probably the only thing that Sarek's mother didn't find alien and disturbing. The architecture, the walk through the park with its towering trees, the dampness in the air, and Amanda's alien nature were all probably disquieting.

Dinner was uncomfortable. Sarek was trapped between the bond between his mother, his son, and his bond-mate. From his mother he felt loneliness -- and fear, for him, for Sybok, Sarek couldn't tell. Sybok was suspicious and nervous, and would not look at his grandmother. Amanda was furious--furious that his mother seemed to regard her as a lesser species, furious that she would think that it was illogical for Sybok to regard her as his mother, furious that she would consider the bond as illogical.

Conversation was limited to the barest essentials -- which was actually for the best. His mother would find small talk "illogical," and she certainly wouldn't have understood if Sarek and Amanda had one of their verbal "jousting matches" that Sarek so enjoyed for mental stimulation.

At the end of the meal his mother locked eyes with Sarek and said, "We will talk."

"Yes, we will," said Sarek. He'd mentally reviewed all Amanda had been able to relay about her first encounter, and he was fairly certain he knew what his mother would say -- Vulcans were rather predictable, which could be rather boring, but definitely useful now.

"I will go get Sybok his bath and get him ready for bed," said Amanda.

Sarek felt relief from Sybok. From his mother he felt a stab of sadness.

And...Amanda knew it. Not from any telepathic relay on Sarek's part; she just intuitively understood. While helping Sybok from his chair, Amanda shook her head. _Watching me handle bed time is just driving the knife in deeper. _

It wasn't a thought aimed at Sarek; Amanda's emotional state was so charged that as her bond mate he couldn't help but feel it. He could also feel some pity beneath her thoughts -- but it was restrained by Amanda's over-arching desire to protect her relationship with him and with Sybok. To protect her family.

Sarek couldn't help but be moved. Reaching out through the bond he thought, _It will all be fine, Amanda. _

When she received the thought she turned, Sybok in her arms, and said with a tight jaw and thin smile, "I know." She looked at Sarek's mother. "Good night, T'Dana."

As Sybok and Amanda climbed the stairs he heard Amanda say in a cheerful voice, "Let's go see the fishes!" and felt his mother's confusion.

Sarek turned to his mother. "Sybok is fascinated by aquatic life. The bathroom is stocked with representations of various species of Earth's aquatic species."

It was just one more thing his mother didn't know about Sybok.

"I see," his mother said.

She looked down at her half-eaten plate. "She had an emotional outburst earlier."

"You frightened Sybok," said Sarek. "She knows you intend to see the bond undone. If she was Vulcan she may not have shouted, and she might have chosen to say something along the lines of 'you are affecting the emotional control of my son and your intentions will permanently scar my bond-mate.' Whatever the choice in words and display of emotion, the underlying meaning would be the same."

"Without control of her own emotions, how can such a creature hope to help a Vulcan child establish emotional control?" his mother said, eyes on Sarek now.

"As I am sure you are already noticed, Sybok turns to Amanda as readily as to me when he feels fear," Sarek said evenly. "Her presence in his life has a stabilizing effect -- and that is invaluable for developing emotional control."

His mother tilted her head. "And how will she handle your emotions when your time comes? Have you thought of her safety? She is a human, she is --"

"I have," said Sarek. "Her safety was a primary concern of mine. But we are not the only Human-Vulcan couple, Mother. There are others, and they manage."

"There are others?" asked his mother.

"Yes, a few," said Sarek. "The official policy is accommodation -- with the understanding of discretion. Your brother, Rilack, on the council knows about the couples. He is one of a group that seeks to have that policy overturned."

"He knows, but he did not tell me?"

"It is also official policy not to speak of it," said Sarek.

His mother turned away. "This can be undone."

Sarek looked at her eyes now turned from his. "It will not be undone."

His mother got up from her chair and walked into the living room. She gazed out at the fog that was starting to sink down upon the street outside the house. She wrapped her arms around her chest.

Sarek followed her. "Mother, you must see that by disturbing the family I have created, you would be irreparably hurting Sybok. I know you are too logical for that."

"Even if I accept your...situation...surely your realize your uncle and other members of the family might try to have Sybok taken away from you -- it's possible they could prove that a human influence was harmful to him."

Sarek looked down at the floor. It was something he had not considered. For a moment he had a flutter of panic and then he realized...he was untouchable. "They cannot do that as long as I am on Earth. As a resident here I am governed by Earth law off Embassy grounds. When I brought Sybok to Earth I registered him as my son, any objections to him being in my care would have to be brought to Earth's courts. I doubt very much that they would see a human as a harmful influence."

"You could lose your position at the Embassy --"

"Or I could be arrested and held at the Embassy...if a Vulcan court found me guilty of parental neglect," said Sarek. "But I have already established Amanda as Sybok's legal guardian should any unforeseen circumstance befall me." He tilted his head. He couldn't smile, but he did feel that pleasant satisfaction he had when he told an effective joke. "Having him fall completely to her care would definitely negate their objectives."

"If you return to Vulcan..." his mother said.

"If it means ensuring my family remains whole, I will not return to Vulcan," said Sarek. "If I lose my position at the Embassy I will have a position at a Terran university before my visa expires. I can remain on Earth indefinitely."

"You wish to remain...here?" His mother asked.

Sarek looked up at her. "It is not a matter of what I wish. It is a matter of what is logical."

His mother stared at the floor.

"Mother, it would be healthy for Sybok to have his grandmother in his life. It would be healthy for me...and for you." Broken bonds were painful. Sarek knew. "I believe if you let him know that you do not intend to separate him from me or Amanda, he will accept you."

"And your wife, will her emotions allow her to accept me?" his mother asked. Sarek felt a flush of anger, frustration and shame, too.

"She can be very forgiving. She put up with me," said Sarek remembering his inauspicious first interactions with Amanda.

It was a small joke. One his mother did not appreciate. Her eyes narrowed and Sarek felt a wave of protection from her. "I thought you said you are compatible?"

"We are, but adopting a sense of humor has definitely helped," Sarek said.

"That is illogical," said his mother.

Sarek did not sigh. "I thought so too, at first. But it actually serves several very logical purposes --"

x x x

Josef set the chess board down on Sarek's desk and put his coffee next to it.

Pulling up a chair he took a sip from his mug and asked, "So anything interesting happen this week, Sarek?"

Opening the board Sarek began to arrange his pieces. "My mother paid my bond-mate, my son and me a surprise visit."

Josef started to choke on his coffee. "I was just making conversation. I didn't think --" Thumping his chest he said, "Well, what happened?"

"She will withhold information of my bond until after a location is selected for the holoscope factory," said Sarek.

Josef set up his pieces. "That could take a year or more -- the red tape..."

"Yes. And she will undoubtedly face pressure from extended family to find a bond-mate for me," said Sarek. And when she did reveal his bond to Amanda, what pressure would his mother face? Her brother could reach her through the bond, as could her sister. Since Sarek had no siblings, he only had the familial bond with his mother to contend with.

Josef started the game. Pushing up his glasses he said, "But it went well, for the most part then?"

Sarek looked at the board. Sybok had come around to his grandmother, mostly -- his mother was logical, she would do what was best for her grandson, and Sybok would be able to telepathically intuit the change in his grandmother's opinion. For her part, his mother didn't _intentionally _challenge Amanda the rest of her stay. Amanda was polite, but generally annoyed.

Weighing the initial trauma with the end result...

"Saying it went well 'for the most part' might be a bit of an overstatement," Sarek said.

"Ahh...." said Josef. "Well..."

"It could have been worse," said Sarek using the familiar human expression. And then realized his time was almost up and he would have to make his move.

**A/N:**

I like Sarek.

If you need something lighter, please check out my story "The Good Faun" – a naughty Narnia tale.

As always, if you enjoyed, please leave a review. It's the only way fan fiction authors and our betas get paid.


	46. The Power of Osmosis

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sarek or Amanda and I do not profit from them.**

Special thanks to beta "Notes from the Classroom". She has a new story out, "The Interview"…check it out!

**The Power of Osmosis**

Feeling that particular ache she always did at such times, Amanda said, "It's beautiful, Leanne" as she admired the ring on her coworker's finger.

"He proposed to me yesterday when we were hiking at Big Sur. I was so surprised..."

Leaning back in her chair, Amanda listened half-heartedly as her coworker told the story to anyone in the staff lounge who would listen. Her friend Margarita caught her eye.

"What about you, Amanda?" said Leanne. "Anything with your guy?" Leanne smiled. "I think you said you were seeing someone, right?"

"I'm in a relationship," said Amanda tersely.

Margarita rolled her eyes, Leanne looked...hurt. Amanda mentally scolded herself. This was all stupid...why shouldn't she be completely honest?

Judy, the neat and proper music teacher, said, "Are you still giving cultural lessons to that Vulcan?" Her voice dripped with disapproval.

"Yes," said Amanda curtly. She tried to tell herself that attitudes like Judy's that kept her from talking more about her relationship with Sarek. But she knew that wasn't it.

Margarita sighed.

Later when they were walking down the hall alone, Margarita said, "You know, it's all going to come out sooner or later. And most of them won't care --"

"Most," said Amanda keeping her eyes straight ahead.

"You should say something! If you said something, the xenophobes like Judy would be too ashamed to say anything negative," said Margarita.

"But this is so much better," said Amanda with a tight smile. "This way I know who my enemies are." She was trying to make a joke. It fell flat.

"Whatever. It's weird," said Margarita. "And it's not like you to be so secretive. I sometimes wonder if things really are that great between you and Sarek..."

Hearing the note of concern in Margarita's voice, Amanda turned quickly to her friend. "What, no, Margarita. Things really are good; it's just...Vulcans don't talk about these things."

"But you're not Vulcan," Margarita said.

"Come on, Rita. You've dated men from other cultures, and you made accommodations --" said Amanda.

"And no matter how hard I tried to be logical about it, some of those accommodations left me feeling unloved..." said Margarita. "Look, I stayed with a guy from the outer fields for three years and in the end...I just don't want you to feel the same way I did when it was all over."

The look on her face was so sincere...Amanda reached over and touched her arm. "It's okay, I do feel loved." Smiling, Amanda added, "Very loved...and well, as for being quiet about my personal relationships, maybe I've just absorbed some Vulcanism through osmosis."

Margarita didn't look particularly mollified.

"Look," said Amanda. "Now is a bad time if word somehow got back to the Vulcan Embassy...Sarek's working on a very important project right now, if he was found out he might be recalled to Vulcan --"

"If it's so important and he's so good at what he does, then the logical thing would be to let him finish it," said Margarita. "No matter who he's living with."

'Living with'...the words trivialized their relationship, but Amanda didn't correct Margarita. Margarita only knew as much as she did because Amanda had confided to her when she and Sarek started dating...before it became difficult to talk about such things. Later Margarita had learned that Brian had moved in with Carrie and inquired about Amanda's new living arrangements. Amanda had hardly spoken a word about the bonding to anyone -- even Carrie. "You would think," Amanda agreed.

A bell rang and Margarita said, "That's my cue," and darted off.

Amanda had an hour 'off' while her kids were at P.E. She watched her friend go...she wanted to tell Margarita more...

It wasn't really fear of the opinions of people like Judy that kept Amanda quiet. She did want Sarek to have a chance to complete the holoscope project -- but she wasn't sure she'd be any more glib about the relationship once he was done.

The truth was, she was under the sway of a sort of osmosis. It's not that Sarek told her to be...discreet. It was that he felt the need intensely, and that feeling transferred through the bond. Even thinking oft talking about their relationship felt distinctly uncomfortable and unfamiliar, because it felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable to Sarek.

Sarek told Amanda that in Vulcan-bonded relationships, the stronger telepath tended to dominate. Sarek took great pains not to force his way of thinking on her, but although he had immense self-control when it came to expression of emotions he did have emotions. It was difficult for him to shield them from her permanently, especially if they concerned things which occurred on a frequent basis.

Amanda sighed. Vulcans were a group-orientated culture -- the bond was the most powerful tool in keeping members of the group in line.

However...the bond did go both ways. Sarek was the stronger telepath, but he did love Amanda very much. He wanted her to be happy, and with the open bond between them, even if Amanda was silent on a matter, Sarek couldn't escape it.

x x x

"Sarek," said Josef, "I've done a little research...and it seems that there aren't any software applications associated with holoscopes."

"Pardon?" said Sarek, distracted by something that had been on Amanda's mind. He was uncertain if he should ask...it was not a particularly Vulcan tradition.

Josef shrugged and looked down at the board. He moved a knight. Sarek blinked. He was going to have to rethink his strategy.

"It's just that..." Josef tapped his finger on his desk. "Well...for instance, for our photo applications we have other applications for correcting problems in the photos -- airbrushing, correcting red eye, brightness, contrast, that sort of thing. It makes it possible, even for someone without any artistic ability like myself, to send a decent picture to his mother."

Sarek made his move. "All the options for correcting such problems are contained within the holoscope interface."

"But the holoscope interface isn't very intuitive," said Josef.

"Not for a human," said Sarek.

"Hmmmm..." said Josef making his next move.

"That was perhaps not a diplomatic observation," said Sarek responding to Josef's new strategy.

"No," said Josef. "But that's alright." Narrowing his eyes, the human smiled slightly and looked at the board. Sarek still couldn't decipher his smiles -- usually Josef would give a helpful translation, but today none was forthcoming.

They played on for a few minutes in silence. Sarek's mind returned to its earlier conundrum. How did one go about this sort of thing?

"Josef," Sarek said, "I have a personal query."

Reaching for a piece, Josef's hand paused in mid-air. He looked up at Sarek. "What type of personal query?"

Sarek swallowed, "My bond-mate --" His bond-mate felt isolated and would like exposure to other human Vulcan couples. Unfortunately, hopping across the globe to see Milock and Hae-Won was simply impractical on a regular basis.

"Would you and your significant other like to join us for a late dinner one night?" Sarek said.

Blinking, Josef pushed his glasses up his nose. "Yes," he said.

That was...fast. Unless T'Zena was listening in -- doubtful, she was on a conference call with Vulcan, Josef had made that decision unilaterally.

"When?" said Josef.

Sarek looked at the board. He hadn't actually thought he would get this far. "Saturday the fifth of November at 19:30...our home."

Moving to pick up a PADD, Josef said, "I can't remember if she's going to Mars that weekend --"

"No," said Sarek. Human memory was so unreliable.

"Ah...thanks," said Josef putting the PADD back. "Is it my move?"

"Yes," said Sarek.

Despite Josef's memory problems the human still won the game.

**A/N**:

Okay, I don't know if I'll quite manage every other day, but I finished up "The Good Faun" (the sweetest, naughtiest story I've ever written that no one has read). I'm hitting the keyboards again for this story. Gotta get Sarek and Amanda married!

If you enjoyed...please leave a review. It's the only way Notes and I get paid.


	47. The Dinner Party

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom.

**The Dinner Party**

"I'm done!" Amanda said.

Sarek's eyes fluttered open from meditation. He climbed to his feet and walked into the kitchen. Amanda was unpacking a load of groceries on the counter. She was buzzing with happiness and excitement. Sarek did not share her enthusiasm.

"I found everything you wanted," she said. "I even found the raw plomeek root for you and T'Zena."

Sarek blinked. "There is the possibility that Joseph might wish to imbibe raw plomeek juice too," Sarek said.

Amanda grimaced. "No, no, there's not...But more for you and T'Zena, right?"

She smiled at him, and then narrowed her eyes. "Hey, this is going to be...intellectually stimulating."

Concentrating hard on the muscles in his forehead, Sarek managed to raise an eyebrow -- he had decided that gestures and facial expressions, as long as they conveyed an acceptable emotion, sensation or state, were a logical means of communication...and the feeling of doubt was an acceptable emotion to express.

The eyebrow raise had the desired effect. Amanda laughed and Sarek received a pleasing serotonin boost.

Pointing at his forehead, she said, "You've been practicing!"

Sarek shrugged...something he never would have done a few months ago. Amanda laughed again and Sarek received another burst of serotonin.

Standing on tip-toe, Amanda pressed cool lips to his cheek. "It _will_ be intellectually stimulating -- and fun, you'll see." Lowering herself to the ground Amanda rubbed his arm and added, "To dwell in anticipation of possible awkwardness is illogical."

Sarek did not sigh, although he wanted to. It was like her to twist the words of Surak to her needs.

Amanda laughed again. "I'll let you get to it...I'm just going to go check my email before Sybok wakes up."

Another kiss on the cheek and Sarek was alone in the kitchen. He began arranging the necessary ingredients and utensils in the order that he'd need them. By previous arrangement, Sarek would prepare the meal this afternoon while Amanda entertained Sybok. Sarek actually found food preparation meditative, and Amanda usually enjoyed her trips to the park with Sybok -- so it was a mutually satisfying arrangement.

Amanda was still feeling cheerful. It was a pleasant sensation, so Sarek left the link wide open.

Unwrapping the plomeek root he went towards the sink and prepared to start peeling it when the warm cheerful sensations he was receiving went to concern and then horror.

_Amanda?_

There was no response. Sarek put the plomeek down and headed towards the stairs.

_I'm okay, Sarek...it's just terrible..._

He felt suddenly that she was on the verge of tears. Entering the office, he found her in front of the computer monitor, not reading her email but watching a vid from the news net.

The picture showed a map of solar system Sarek recognized immediately. An announcer droned in a cool voice._ "The Terran passenger liner got diverted in a ion storm and then was forced to land on NTR 321, a planet close to Tellurite space but claimed by the Klingons._

_"Tellurite Federation ships rescued all the Federation citizens aboard the vessel. But claiming limited time and resources, they left the non-Federation members behind._

_"Here is some footage captured by passengers."_

The scene shifted to slightly shaky vid. It showed Tellurite military personnel working their way through a crowd with clubs in their hands. While forcibly corralling some passangers towards a shuttle craft, they were simultaneously beating others back.

The vid shifted to another perspective. A human woman with a little girl in her arms was being pushed towards a shuttle, but she was struggling, trying break away. The little girl in her arms was reaching towards what looked to be a man being attacked with a club. "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" wailed the little girl.

"Tignon!" screamed the woman.

"Go, Shannon, go!" said the man in accented Standard.

"Why? He was human -- was he from the outer planets?" said Amanda.

Sarek put a hand on her shoulder. "No, he was Betazed."

...and they were not members of the Federation.

The announcer came on again. _"The Klingon Empire did not accept the Federations assurances that this was a Passenger liner. They declared the emergency landing on NTR 321 an act of aggression. The fate of the remaining passengers is not known..."_

x x x

Amanda was haunted by the faces of all the passengers forced to remain on NTR 321...but the image of the Betazed-human family being torn apart haunted her the most.

Taking Sybok out to the park was probably the best thing Amanda could do after the horrifying images from the vids. At the park she hung out with her parent friends. Watching Sybok play with Jack and Sophie made it clear how much good there still was in the universe.

When she got home the final preparations for their dinner shifted into high gear -- and she didn't have time to reflect on the vids. While she took a shower and dried her hair, Sarek fed Sybok. As Sarek made the final dinner preparations, Amanda gave Sybok a bath. While the little guy was in the tub she did her makeup and pinned up her hair. Unfortunately, Sybok's time in the sandbox made bath time a little lengthier than usual. She'd hoped to have Sybok in bed when Josef and T'Zena arrived. Instead she was just zipping up his jammies when the door chimed.

Sybok's hand immediately went to her cheek. _ Excitement! _ He bounced up and down. From downstairs came the sound of Sarek letting their guests in. The little hand transferred intense curiosity and Amanda knew that to thwart it was to invite disaster.

"Okay," she said. "You can meet them. But then you go to bed."

x x x

Sarek heard little feet on the stairs. His link with Sybok was alight with curiosity. He understood Amanda's reasoning...still...

"This is your son?" said Josef kneeling down. "He's got your ears, Sarek."

Sarek opened his mouth to reply but then stopped himself. It had to be a joke.

He felt Amanda's amusement and decided to ignore the statement.

For his part, Sybok ignored Josef entirely and headed straight towards T'Zena. She was wearing human attire and her hairstyle hid her ears. Only her eyebrows gave her away -- if one only gave her a passing glance she might be mistaken for human. Sybok, Sarek realized, was not fooled. But Vulcan or Human, only one thing seemed to matter to the toddler...

"Don't be offended, Josef," said Amanda.

Sarek turned to see the human staring at Sybock, his head tilted, his brow slightly furrowed.

"He's not ignoring you because you're human..." Amanda said.

Sarek did not sigh. "It is because you are male." He looked down at the ground. "He is...a flirt."

Sybok, unbothered by Sarek's words, held up two fingers to T'Zena and she responded in kind. Although Vulcans did not normally touch, there were exceptions for contact initiated by small children. Physical contact with non-family members helped children develop their telepathy.

"Why, yes, I do recognize the sea creature on your sleepwear," T'Zena said. "It is a stylized depiction of a sperm whale, I believe."

"It would be more realistic if it had a giant sea squid in its mouth," said Josef.

Sybok looked at Josef for the first time. Sarek felt the light link he shared with his son flash with respect.

x x x

Amanda watched T'Zena follow Sybok with her eyes as Sarek led him upstairs to bed. Josef laid a hand gently on her back. T'Zena started and looked quickly at Amanda. It occurred to Amanda that they probably weren't able to be affectionate at all in public. She smiled at T'Zena and the Vulcan woman seemed to relax.

"I have twin brothers," T'Zena said. "They are almost six."

Amanda blinked. How old was T'Zena? She looked a little younger than Sarek. Fifty maybe? "That is quite an age difference."

"Indeed," said T'Zena.

"Even Vulcans get surprises then?" said Amanda.

T'Zena winked at Amanda. It was so unexpected it was all Amanda could do to keep her mouth from dropping open and her eyes from falling out of her head. She noticed Josef roll his eyes.

"Precisely," said the Ambassador. "I would be very interested in hearing about your experiences and observations on the similarities and differences between Vulcan and Human children..."

It was a topic Amanda found endlessly fascinating. As she began to discuss the subject -- trying to keep her observations humorous enough for Josef and detailed enough for T'Zena, it occured to her that T'Zena was rather charming.

x x x

As soon as Sarek entered the kitchen, Josef declared, "He's here; let's open this now." The human uncorked a bottle of wine he must have brought; it didn't look like anything Sarek had procured.

Josef began pouring the wine for the four of them.

Turning to T'Zena Sarek said, "I have fresh plomeek root if you prefer. I could press it now."

"Please, do not put yourself to the trouble," said T'Zena.

"I have already peeled the root; to press it will only take three point six four seconds," said Sarek his mind going to the root waiting at the bottom of the fridge.

"That is quite alright. The Reisling will be adequate," said T'Zena.

Wondering if perhaps she was worried about the quality of the product, Sarek said, ""The plomeek is very fresh; it arrived from Vulcan late yesterday evening" said." Plomeeks tended to mold rather quickly...which made acquiring fresh ones so difficult off Vulcan.

"Did you acquire the plomeek solely for my benefit?" asked T'Zena.

"No," said Sarek, "I actually have been waiting for weeks for a fresh shipment. But since you are here --"

Josef sighed audibly. "She doesn't like plomeek -- fresh, dried, or in soup."

T'Zena froze. Sarek stared.

When Amanda's friend Noelle had shared her ideas on inter-universal cosmic ray transference, it had taken Sarek mere milliseconds to grasp the potential of the theory. But the possibility that a Vulcan did not _like_ plomeek. He blinked.

"You find plomeek...unpalatable?" said Sarek.

T'Zena did not respond.

Amanda looked like she was about to burst out laughing. Sarek felt like he had been immobilized.

Pouring the wine into the glasses, Josef said, "She's always been something of a black sheep."

"Baaaa," said T'Zena.

Amanda did burst out laughing. Josef winced.

x x x

The subject of the downed passenger liner on NTR-321 did come up at dinner. Although T'Zena's and Sarek's faces remained stoic, Amanda could feel through the bond with Sarek that he was very disturbed. She suspected behind T'Zena's impassive facade the same feelings were there.

"...it is possible," T'Zena said, "that after the ion storm the Tellurites simply didn't expect for there to be any survivors. It would be Vulcan and, I believe, human, to prepare for the best --"

"But the Tellurites go about their obligations to the Federation because they see it as a necessary evil, not because they necessarily hold the Federation ideals," said Josef, staring at his glass.

"I keep thinking of the Betazed-Human couple that was torn apart," said Amanda. "I know so many others are in danger --"

And then Josef articulated what was at the back of her mind. "If he was human, from a colony world, she could have married him and given him Federation citizenship. But he wasn't human..."

Amanda's eyes met her fellow human's. She turned to look at the other two members of the table. Sarek and T'Zena were both studying their food. Sarek's mind was carefully blank.

As much as Sarek loved her...

The topic of marriage was a touchy one. It was an impossibility, but when Amanda presented Sarek with a hypothetical, he was uneasy. Their union would receive tacit acceptance from Vulcan as long as they were discreet. A ceremony, a document of their union, was in his mind indiscreet.

T'Zena rescued the conversation by turning it to Sarek's field of expertise -- the conditions on NTR-321, how long the passengers left behind could survive on the planet, and how quickly a rescue effort could reach NTR-321's solar system if the Klingons refused to negotiate...

Amanda wasn't sure how it happened; it probably had something to do with some of innocuous questions she and Josef asked. Vulcans didn't tend to hop from topic to topic -- but somehow by the end of the meal, the conversation turned to Surak and discussions of various texts interpreting his philosophy. It became not a discussion of the interpretations themselves, or the cultures of the regions that these interpretations came from...but a discussion of the paper the texts were printed on. Sarek found it _fascinating. _

Feeling her eyes glaze over, Amanda turned to Josef and said, "Want to join me in the kitchen for a drink?"

Standing up and pushing in his chair, Josef gave a low emphatic, "Yes, thank you."

In the kitchen Josef said, "They were having so much _fun_ I hated to interrupt them, but I think my forehead was about to crash into my plate as I passed out from boredom."

Pouring Josef a glass of wine, Amanda laughed, "Yes. But it has been so nice having you both over. We do have a few human couples that we socialize with --"

"Really?" said Josef accepting a glass from her hand. "We go out some -- not in San Francisco. Aside from my family --" he looked down at his drink.

"Well, Sarek isn't really a public figure," said Amanda. Detecting a note of unhappiness in Josef's voice, she decided to move the conversation in another direction, "So you know how Sarek and I got together, Mr. Yenta; how did you and T'Zena ever wind up bonded?"

"_Yenta_ isn't actually the word for matchmaker; it's _shadchan --" _said Josef.

Narrowing her eyes, Amanda said, "Whatever. You know what I mean."

"-- and I never actually thought it would work," said Josef. "Sarek seems so..._logical_...and like a very traditional Vulcan. I suppose he's changed a lot since his time on Earth."

"No," said Amanda tilting her head. "He hasn't changed, really." She laughed, "He is still the same stubborn, opinionated, logical Vulcan he was when he got here..." She looked down for a moment. He was still loving and protective, too -- hadn't he just taken the feelings he had for his first love, T'Sala, and transferred them to her? Looking up at Josef she said, "It's just his perspective that's changed."

"Hmmm..." said Josef. "Something went wrong with the first marriage to Sybok's mother I suspect..."

"It is not something I wish to discuss," said Amanda protectively.

"I won't ask," said Josef. He took a deep breath. "Very few normal Vulcans wind up with Humans. Something has to go very wrong to push them to take a step they'd ordinarily find so drastic -- or they have to be like T'Zena. Just...odd."

Amanda smiled, "She is quite charming."

Casting an affectionate look in the direction of the dining room Josef said, "On Vulcan the nail that sticks up tends to get hammered down."

He hadn't really told her anything, Amanda realized. But then, she hadn't really told him anything either.

**A/N:**

If you enjoyed, please review. It's the only way fanfiction authors and our betas get paid.


	48. Shaken

**Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I profit from this.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom

**Shaken**

"See, you did have fu-- an intellectually stimulating evening," Amanda said sleepily as she fell exhausted onto Sarek's shoulder.

"Yes."

Maybe he said it, maybe he thought it. Amanda wasn't sure as she slipped happily into sleep. At some point she was vaguely aware of Sarek's heat disappearing from the bed.

And then she fell into a dream of infinite sorrow. Her stomach clenched and she struggled to awake.

Sarek was in the room a few minutes later. She dreamed or saw him above her, "Do not be concerned. You and I and all of ours are safe, Amanda. Sleep." And she slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Amanda awoke at eight in the morning. She could hear Sybok thumping around in his room -- he would have been awake for over two and a half hours now. Thankfully Sarek handled the early mornings.

Slipping into some casual clothes, she blearily made her way into Sybok's room to say hello to her boys.

Looking up from a bogglingly complex tower of blocks, Sybok nodded in her direction. Sarek was sitting on the floor reading a PADD. He did not look up.

"Sarek, good morning," said Amanda.

Lifting his head, Sarek nodded at her but did not say good morning in return.

"What are you reading?" asked Amanda.

"The news," Sarek replied.

"Oh, any word on the people left behind on NTR 321?" asked Amanda.

Sarek looked at her, looked at Sybok, and spoke into her mind.

_They are all dead, Amanda. The Klingons launched attacks during the night -- details are just emerging._

_x x x_

Amanda sat down in front of the monitor in the office. Sarek's words had shaken her like a physical blow. How could that have happened? Unarmed civilians -- even Klingons saw no honor in killing those who couldn't defend themselves...didn't they?

There just wasn't that much information on what happened on NTR 321. All that was emerging from the solar system was that the Klingon Empire and Federation were in "talks."

There were arguments for war -- the vessel that crashed had been a Federation registered passenger liner, no matter what the respective races of the passengers left behind.

And there were arguments against war -- it was all a misunderstanding, and the passengers killed by the Klingon disruptor attacks weren't really Federation citizens after all.

There was wild speculation on just what the Klingons thought they were doing attacking unarmed passengers. Most theorized that they truly believed that the passenger liner had been part of some sort of spy mission.

Flicking through the sites she came to a vid of Senator Delores Larson, part of the Earth senate's conservative faction. The Senator was standing on a podium. Inset in the frame was a picture of the Betazed man, human mother and child from the previous day's news reels.

Amanda paused her finger on the mouse and turned up the volume.

Senator Larson's voice filled the room. _"...for years, out of deference to my party, there has been one issue I have voted on against my conscience, that of legalizing alien-human partnerships. _

_"Tignon was beloved by my daughter and grand daughter. He was a loving husband and father -- in all but name. It was Tignon's and my daughter Dorothy's greatest wish to marry. Had they been able to do so, Tignon would still be with us today. For my failure to do what was just, my daughter's family has suffered the ultimate loss. _

_"From now on I will vote with my conscience, no matter the political consequences. I urge other members of my party to do likewise."_

The scene shifted to two news announcers. _"Well, Bruce, that statement by Senator Larson was definitely unexpected. Movements to legalize alien human partnerships have been stalled for years in the Senate. Do you think Senator Larson will shake that situation up a bit?"_

_"Yes, Leia, there are those who believe that Senator Larson has just reignited the debate --"_

x x x

"We have completed all of the necessary paperwork," said Sarek. "Should I die, all of my assets will go to you. You will legally become Sybok's guardian."

"Which we spent months and months and thousands of credits doing," said Amanda, slipping on her coat. It was a few weeks after the attack on NTR 321. Outside a misty rain was falling. The street shone like polished obsidian under the street lights. It was nearly 20:00. She was going to be late -- but she kept arguing anyway. "And you can bet, Sarek, that should you die, or should I die, that someone will step forward to contest all the arrangements we worked so hard to make legal."

Sarek said nothing. She felt his discomfort in the pit of her stomach.

Buttoning up her coat Amanda said, "Tignon and Dorothy had all those documents --"

Putting his hand behind his back Sarek said, "We are both Federation members; we will never be separated in that manner."

"No, I'm sure we won't be separated like _that_," said Amanda. "But there could be some other circumstances." What if Sarek had to return to Vulcan? If his extended family had him tried in Vulcan courts for endangering his child with his bond to a human, could they put him in jail?

"I would never allow it, Amanda," said Sarek and the bond hummed with conviction and sincerity. "It takes times for such a case to be brought to trial. I would have ample warning. If need be, I would never return to Vulcan."

"But that is...that is bullshit!" said Amanda. "It is your home! Your mother is there. Your former professors and colleagues --" Shaking her head angrily, Amanda composed herself. "It isn't just about you going home to Vulcan. It is about public acknowledgment that we are a legitimate couple."

She picked up her umbrella and sighed. "But don't worry. I won't tell anyone at the meeting that I'm bonded to a Vulcan." She couldn't. Sarek's unease...and the bond...both were too strong.

x x x

The morning after the Alien-Human Partnership Rights meeting, Sarek was walking through the halls of the Embassy. Amanda hadn't seen any Vulcans there. And she hadn't said anything of their bond --

"Sarek," said Josef, walking beside Trivant, a Vulcan who was an expert on Earth's patent laws. "Trivant and I were just discussing the holoscope patent. Your input would be appreciated."

Falling into step with Josef and the other Vulcan, Sarek turned his mind to what Josef was saying. "But if it's patented," said Josef, "we can share the technology for the holoscopes without fear that any human firms will manufacture them for sale. We'd get the added benefit that human firms would create associated applications that would make the holoscopes easier to use and therefore more desirable."

"But if Vulcans were to make these applications," Trivant said, "we would keep the technology secret and generate more revenues."

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Josef said, "But Vulcans don't know what humans need."

"I believe Josef has a point," said Sarek. "We also do not understand what humans want. Further, their culture varies so much from region to region -- an application that becomes popular in North America might not be appealing to individuals in South Africa. If we let the humans --"

At that moment the floor beneath their feet began to roll. Down the hall Sarek saw professor Karmac slump against a wall, the human reader next to him reaching out and grabbing his hand. A needle of pain shot up Sarek's hip. He felt his leg begin to crumple beneath him and then Josef's shoulders were suddenly under his and one of the the human's arms was around his back. The world continued to shake.

"What's going on?" asked Josef. Sarek wondered for a millisecond at how difficult it was for humans to relate knowledge to circumstances. San Francisco was in an active seismic zone. Surely Josef knew --

"Earthquake," said Trivant. From the corner of his eye Sarek saw him lean hard on the human.

"I don't feel anything," said Josef.

**A/N:  
**If you enjoyed, please leave a review. It's the only way Notes and I get paid.


	49. Tremors

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit either. So sad.**

**Special thanks to beta Notes from The Classroom.**

**Tremors**

The movement beneath Sarek's feet stilled. He closed his eyes and reached out through his bond. Amanda was in front of her students laughing at a book they were reading aloud. Her students were all smiling...

Down the hall the human reader was helping Professor Karmac right himself. The elderly Vulcan wasn't even protesting at the skin-to-skin contact as she held his hand.

"Something's happened on Vulcan," said Josef.

The Embassy began to hum as monitors switched to news feeds from Vulcan in the offices and open areas. "Shi'kahr has just experienced an earthquake of 9.5..."

The ghost of the needles he'd felt in his hip disappeared. There was only one person left on Vulcan who he was bonded with emotionally --

"Are you alright, Sarek?" said Josef.

"Someone you know has been injured," said Trivant knowingly.

"I believe my mother may have been affected by the event," Sarek said.

x x x

Amanda was home with Sybok, slightly on edge. Sarek still hadn't been able to get in contact with his mother. He was certain she was injured and probably unconscious. No matter how Amanda felt about T'Dana, she did not wish the woman serious harm.

It was raining outside so there was no escape to the park. Inside days could be terror, but miraculously Sybok was contentedly creating collages with stickers, markers and construction paper.

The home comm chimed. Pulling the receiver from its nest on the wall, Amanda checked the number. Her brow furrowed; it was her brother Matt.

Pressing the accept button and the vid line, she said, "Hello, Matt?"

Her brother's face appeared on the tiny screen. "Hey, little sister...we just heard about what happened on Vulcan."

Amanda blinked at the pronoun 'we.' Who was we?

"I hope Sarek's family is alright," said Matt.

Amanda wasn't ready for an indepth discussion of Vulcan telepathy. Instead she just said, "He hasn't been able to contact his mother."

Matt's eyes widened. "That's terrible." He cleared his throat. "Well, please let him know that we're thinking of him."

Amanda was touched. It was so unlike Matt to reach out like this -- and when he said 'we,' did he mean Mom and Dad? She knew they didn't exactly approve of her relationship with Sarek. Especially her mother...

"We hope that you'll make it back to Chicago for Christmas this year," said Matt. "We're hosting it at our place. Sarek and Sybok are invited, of course."

"Oh, thank you," said Amanda, "We'd love to come. You mean Mom and Dad's house, right?"

"No, our place," said Matt.

Our place? The chime on the comm sounded again. Amanda looked down at the identity of the caller. It was Sarek's mother.

"That's Sarek's Mom," said Amanda.

"Go...see you at Christmas," said Matt. His image winked out.

Hitting the accept button, Amanda found herself face to face with a Vulcan -- and it wasn't Sarek's mother.

"Is this the residence of Sarek S'chn T'gai?" said a rather imperious-looking older Vulcan man in Standard.

"Yes," said Amanda.

"Where is Sarek?" asked the Vulcan.

"To whom am I speaking?" said Amanda, raising an eyebrow.

"I am his uncle, Neevak S'chn T'gai."

The name sounded familiar. Feeling uneasy, Amanda tried to place his face. It stirred a memory -- perhaps from the bond.

From across the kitchen, Sybock started to pound on the table. He'd been so patient...

"Shhh...Sybok, this will only be a minute," Amanda said, turning to smile reassuringly at the toddler.

"Where is Sarek?" said the Vulcan man.

"He is at the embassy still," said Amanda. "Do you have information on Sarek's mother? He hasn't been able to contact her."

"Who are you?" said the Vulcan.

Freezing in place, Amanda stared at the screen. There were many things she wanted to say. This was not the time. Warily she said, "I watch Sybok...from time to time."

Sybok dropped the scissors he was holding, slipped from the chair, and ran to her legs. He began jumping up and down, fingers outstretched. He wanted to link telepathically with her. A low cry was rising in his chest. Hushing him gently, Amanda bent and put him on her hip. His hand immediately shot to her face and he looked sideways at the screen.

Regretting that she couldn't block her unease from him, Amanda put her lips to his cheek.

Drawing back, Neevak whispered in Vulcan, _"Humans are not capable of managing Vulcan children."_

_"We manage fine,"_ said Amanda in her own heavily-accented Vulcan.

Neevak drew back again.

Smiling through clenched teeth, Amanda said, _"Do you have information on Sarek's mother I may convey to him?"_  
_  
"I will contact him at the embassy,"_ said Neevak. The screen winked out again.

Neevak's identity suddenly came back to her. He was the member of the High Council who did not approve of the policy of accommodation for human-Vulcan pairs.

x x x

Amanda was waiting for Sarek at the door when he got home that evening, even though it was past midnight.

As soon as he stepped through the door she said, "I am so sorry" and put her fingertips to his.

She was saying she felt his pain. The inaccuracy of the expression was still vexing, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to point it out.

"How is she?" Amanda asked.

Neevak had contacted Sarek at the Embassy and informed him of his mother's condition. The telepathic bond between parent and adult child was too weak for words. Without Neevak's call Sarek would only have known she was alive and in pain.

"The hip surgery went as well as can be expected." Sarek withdrew his fingers and roughly pulled off his outer robes. "Vulcan architecture is built to withstand earthquakes. But..." He clenched his jaw. "There were a number of small tremors a week back that weakened the foundations of her home. She knew about it...The repair men were there when this accident happened."

It was illogical to be frustrated by the random vagaries of the universe. But he was. He felt tension building in his jaw.

"Will you go see her?" Amanda asked.

Nodding, Sarek said, "Yes." He walked towards the bedroom, Amanda falling in step behind him.

"Sarek?"

He could feel her uncertainty but not precisely what she was thinking. Human thoughts had a tendency to come from every direction at once. She didn't even know what she was about to say.

"Yes, Amanda?"

"Perhaps it is time to tell T'Pau of our bond," Amanda said. "If you go home. If Neevak finds out -- it would be good to have someone in the Council on your side."

Stepping into their room, Sarek peeled off the last of his robes and considered he statement. "Now is still not the ideal time."

"Is there going to be an ideal time, Sarek?"

Sarek took a deep breath. "After I finish the holoscope project."

Amanda said nothing.

Sarek was trying to keep his movements controlled. He was illogically angry at the universe. He was angry at Neevak. His uncle was undoubtedly conscientiously seeing to his mother's care...but he had been condescending to Amanda. Worse, when he spoke to Sarek he had questioned his logic in letting her care for his child. Neevak and his wife hadn't stepped up to care for Sybok when T'Yavi died...

And he was angry at himself. He was too far from his mother to help her.

Stepping towards him, Amanda put cool fingers on his forehead. She felt his frustration...and had nothing but sympathy.

And suddenly Sarek was frustrated with her. "Why do you not chastise me for my failure in logic?"

In cool, clipped words Amanda said, "Because your emotional reaction seems very logical given the situation."

Sarek looked down at her...and felt an illogical flash of desire. It came over him too quickly to shield it.

"Also, a logical response to the situation," said Amanda. "You are tense. You have been since the quake hit. You're seeking relief."

Pushing her towards the wall, Sarek said, "Meditation would serve just as well."

"It would," Amanda agreed.

But Sarek already had his hands on the hem of her shirt and his mouth was reaching for her bottom lip.

x x x

Sarek left early the next morning. The Embassy was arranging transport for employees whose relatives had been injured during the earthquake.

T'Lana, thankfully, also came early. She was from a province far from Shi'kahr; her family was all well.

Amanda was just kissing Sybok goodbye when the comm chimed. T'Lana answered it in Vulcan. _"S'chn T'gai residence."_

Even from the foyer Amanda recognized T'Dana, Sarek's mother's, voice. _"T'Lana, please put Sarek on the comm immediately."  
_  
_"He has already left, Ms. S'chn T'gai."  
_  
_"I have already called his personal comm and the Embassy," said T'Dana.  
_  
_"It is my understanding he is preparing to journey to Vulcan. Perhaps he is in route to the space port?"_ said T'Lana.

_"If Amanda is there, please put her on the comm, immediately,"_ said Sarek's mother.

Amanda was in the kitchen before T'Lana could open her mouth.

"I am here, T'Dana," Amanda said into the comm. T'Dana looked tired. Her hair was disheveled. She lay in a bed with a monitor behind her head.

Amanda felt helpless seeing her in pain. "I heard of your injury. I hope you are feeling --"

"Amanda," said T'Dana in her familiar imperious tone, "You must tell Sarek not to return to Vulcan. Now."

**A/N:**

**If you liked please leave a review. It's the only way fanfiction authors get paid.**


	50. In Transit

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom****

In Transit

"Pardon?" said Amanda.

"His Uncle Neevak must not speak with him. Neevak has been pressuring me to agree to a bonding. And he does not approve of your association with Sybok. If you value your family and all that Sarek is working to achieve right now you will tell Sarek not to come home. Now."

Two Vulcan women staring at her...Amanda felt like she was under a spot light. She still didn't trust herself with the bond, they'd find her method of communication primitive...but it was no time for vanity. Shutting her eyes she licked her lips and said, "Sarek. Stop!"

Her eyes did not open. But she saw Sarek pull from a line of Vulcans filing into the Embassy ship. _What is it, Amanda?_

"Your mother," said Amanda.

_...Is distressed. I can feel it._

"She doesn't want you to come home, Sarek."

_Explain._

As Amanda explained T'Dana's reasons, Sarek pulled further from the departing Vulcans. She was certain that to anyone looking on he would have looked like his normal composed self.

But she had a window to his soul. He wanted to drive his fist through a wall.

x x x

Sarek was back at the Embassy at his desk a few hours later. Josef saw him in his office and stuck his head in. "I thought you were going to Vulcan."

"I was," said Sarek.

"I see." Josef's brow furrowed. "Your mother...is she okay?"

"She is...stable. My uncle will care for her over the next few weeks," said Sarek. "I will go to visit her when he leaves." It had been Amanda's idea. It mollified Sarek only a little.

"Oh," said Josef. "Well, that makes a lot of sense. She'll probably be more in need of help than she suspects. Certainly that was the case after my grandmother's hip replacement surgery."

Looking down, Sarek did not reply.

"Ah," said Josef. "It is not your choice."

Tilting his head, Sarek looked hard at the human. Josef gave a tight half smile. "With Vulcans more is said with what is unsaid." Nodding, he stepped away from Sarek's door and continued on his way.

Sarek picked up his PADD. His mother's logic was sound. She saw his work at the embassy as more important than her personal gratification. She believed he was doing great things for Vulcan. She did not want him to face the High Council or T'Pau until his current project was done. Sarek wasn't as certain he was essential to the project -- he was reasonably sure someone else could take his place. Moreover, he had other concerns. His mother was facing pressure from their extended family to choose a bond mate for him. Right now he was almost certain all the pressure was of the spoken, not unspoken, kind. But when that pressure became telepathic...

Even while injured, his mother was protecting him and his family. She saw his work as important. At some level she accepted his bond with Amanda as being healthy for him and for Sybok -- even if she did not view it as the ideal situation.

He should be able to protect her.

He put down the PADD. With their Vulcan expert on patents in Shi'kahr, he needed to find an Earth patent expert to consult with. He was thoroughly convinced that giving the humans the ability to make their own human-centric applications would make holoscopes more valuable.

x x x

Weeks later Sarek was back at the space port. He had just come back from Vulcan. Now he was going to Chicago without even a stop at his home.

Walking past the shuttles transporting passengers to San Francisco, Sarek made his way to a waiting area 32 B...he had wanted to travel with Amanda this portion of the trip to Chicago but space on the shuttle was not available. She was going to meet him there with Sybok.

Sarek's trip to his homeworld had gone as well as could be expected. Better in some respects.

Amanda had put together an album of pictures and videos of Sybok and their little family, from the time Sarek brought Sybok to Earth, to the evening before he left on his trip. At the end of the album Amanda had Sybok hold up a poster he had made with her help. It said, "Get Well Soon Grandmother!" -- and was decorated with planet Earth and Vulcan...and fish of course.

It was not a Vulcan gesture. Sarek was not certain how his mother would receive the gift. When she first slipped the memory chip into her PADD and began to view the vids and pictures, she asked, "What is this?"

"Amanda thought that seeing pictures of Sybok might be beneficial to your emotional well being and contribute to your recovery," said Sarek.

"A mind meld would be quicker," said his mother.

"Yes. And we may if you wish, Mother."

"I do wish," his mother said. But she did not move. She just stared at the pictures transfixed. Occasionally she would ask questions about the places and things she saw in the background. At one point she said, "Through a mind meld I can see through your eyes. Here I can see you..."

By the very end she declared, "This is a logical adaptation for a species that is not telepathic." She pressed her fingers to the PADD screen for a moment, and then looked up at Sarek. "I would like to meld now."

Sarek made his way into the waiting area designated for the shuttle for the middle of the North American continent. The waiting area was crowded. General boarding would begin soon. A news vid was playing in the corner.

_"The Klingons were not expecting that the respective governments of the non-Federation passengers killed on NTR 321 would react so strongly to their hostilities,"_ said a female announcer.

_"That's right, Barbara. There is some evidence that they expected their acts of aggression would have the exact opposite effect. It is believed the attack was a deliberate attempt to steer the Acamarians and some of the other species into territory agreements that would be more advantageous to the Empire."_

_"Well, they certainly miscalculated there, Brad."_

_"Indeed, Barbara. But let's discuss how the impact of NTR 321 is being felt on Earth."_

_"Well, Brad, several localities, including Amsterdam, Rio, and Canada's Northwest Territories have started offering marriages to Alien Human couples."_

Sarek blinked. Surely Amanda knew of this, and yet...he reached through the bond...he felt no great enthusiasm from her, other than the enthusiasm for seeing him soon.

A man next to Sarek snorted.

_"It's important to mention that these marriages are only symbolic, Barbara. They do not confer actual rights of partnership."_

That was why she was not excited. Amanda wasn't looking for symbolism; she'd told him if symbolism was all she wanted she would drag him to Risa for a wedding.

"Well, that's good," said the man next to Sarek.

It occurred to Sarek that the man might not realize he wasn't human. The human hadn't looked at him directly and Sarek had donned human garb for the remainder of his journey -- temperatures in Chicago could hover around -23 C this time of year; procuring cold weather clothing on Earth was cheaper and easier.

Sarek turned to look at the human.

"It's against the will of God --" the man said turning towards Sarek.

Sarek was tired of hiding his relationship to Amanda. He was grieved that he hadn't been able to go to his mother's side right away. He was concerned that his relationship would put his mother at odds with their extended family. Now listening to a stranger at a shuttle port spout illogical reasoning involving an omnipotent being -- if such an omnipotent being existed and found such relationships so disagreeable, Sarek highly doubted that he'd find Amanda attractive, and doubted even more that his relationship would be a positive in his or Sybok's life.

But it was positive. His son loved her. He loved her. She helped stabilize them both.

It was just too much. The logical thing to do was not to respond to the man's outburst. But Sarek's control slipped. He did something a Vulcan would find disgraceful. He raised an eyebrow.

Just then over an intercom came an announcement. _"Attention passengers for shuttle 3592 to Chicago, Des Moines, and Indianapolis: general boarding is about to begin. Passengers in rows fifty through seventy-five please, please approach the gate."_

Hoisting a bag over his shoulder, the human next to Sarek stuttered something unintelligible and headed towards the gate.

**A/N:**

I think Sarek isn't the only one with diplomatic skills. Hope you enjoyed -- and it wasn't a let down from that tremendous cliffie last chapter!

I guess this is a little cliffie...

If you read and enjoyed, please leave a review...They help me and Notes keep going.


	51. After the Trip

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom

**After the Trip**

Sarek made his way into his office the morning after his return from Chicago. There were seven large heavy books on his desk. Books. Books with yellowing paper and worn covers. He was certain he smelled mold. Affixed to the book on top of the pile was a paper note with a handwritten message. Sarek lifted up the book to read the cryptic, nearly indecipherable writing.

_Jr. Ambassador Sarek -_

_Patent law varies from region to region based on concessions made during unification at the end of the Great Mistake. Report sent to your PADD. References not all online. Post-it Notes in relevant sections._

Of course human law could not be uniform from place to place. That would be too logical. With two hands he set the book back down on his desk and sat down in his chair. As he rifled through the pages of one of the tomes, several pages came loose with a soft rip. Definitely moldy.

A motion outside the wall of windows that separated his office from the corridor caught his eye. Josef was hastily wiping some spilled coffee off the side of his mug. Shaking his wet hand he looked up at Sarek. "You startled me."

"I do not see how that is possible," said Sarek. He was sitting at his desk, looking at reading material. Hardly a surprising activity.

"Are you all right?" asked Josef.

"All right is a vague expression," Sarek said, unstacking the books and laying them side by side on his desk. "However, as I am in the office and currently upright, those should be satisfactory indicators that I am sufficiently 'all right' to perform my duties."

Josef stepped into the office and pressed the button to close the door.

"What are you doing?" Sarek said.

"What an illogical question," said Josef.

Standing up from his desk, Sarek tilted his head at the insult.

"Obviously," said Josef, apparently not the least bothered by the grave insult he had just so casually delivered, "I have just entered your office and closed the door."

Sarek stared at him.

Sitting down in the chair opposite the desk, Josef took a sip of coffee. "Not meditated in a while, Sarek?"

Narrowing his eyes, Sarek said, "You infer this how?"

"For one, you look like you're about chop my head off -- and I do mean that literally. For another you've been slamming your books around and ripping out pages -- which is no way to treat one of these old beauties." Josef put aside his mug, lifted one of the tomes, and read the title aloud. "_The Rights and Responsibilities of Patent Holders in Licensing Technology to Outside Entities._" Josef smiled. "Excellent."

Sinking into his chair, Sarek said, "Six days, twenty-two hours, three minutes...and...I should not bother you with the exact second."

"What?" said Josef, lifting his head.

"That is how long it has been since I have meditated or slept," said Sarek. "...In any significant quantity."

Josef blinked. "That's a little long, even for a Vulcan, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Leaning back in his chair, Josef said, "Bad trip?"

"My trip to Vulcan was...more than satisfactory." Sarek thought back to the morning he left. He had passed his mother's PADD and noticed the pictures of Sybok and himself looping continuously on the small screen.

"Your trip to Chicago? You were going to meet Amanda's family, weren't you?"

Sarek decided to employ humor and some antiquated human idioms. "They did not tar and feather me or ride me out on a rail."

"That good?" said Josef crossing his arms over his chest.

Sarek put his elbows on the table and crossed his hands...memories of the trip came back...Amanda's memories that Sarek had witnessed through the bond.

x x x

_Most of the visit was spent at Mark and his fiancee Julie's condominium in the city. They had spent Christmas morning at Amanda's parents' house, a sprawling building in the suburbs north of the city along the lake. There Amanda's mother had gotten a chance to talk to Amanda alone._

_"...He is...so stiff," her mother said. "How can he possibly make you feel loved?"_

_"He is a Vulcan, Mother," Amanda said._

_Sarek knew even Amanda found him somewhat stiff. But she saw past that, as he saw the logical person beneath her emotional exterior. To have her mother use the trait as a marker of his unsuitability...He wished he could change it, just so Amanda wouldn't have to defend her choices against such unreasonable assaults on her judgment._

_"And he makes me feel very loved."_

_"I didn't know that Vulcans had emotions," her mother said._

_"They do; they just suppress the display of emotion, Mother."_

_"Then how can he make you feel loved?"_

_"They have different rules for their children and their bond-mates, Mother."_

_"I don't see it," said Amanda's mother._

_"You're not bonded to him," Amanda said._

_"I still don't understand what that means precisely..."_

x x x

"Sarek?"

Sarek blinked and looked up.

Sarek was reasonably certain that the look on Josef's face was one of concern.

"I exaggerate, for effect, Josef." Sarek looked down at his desk. "I was well received by her brothers. In fact, Matt, her eldest brother, invited us to stay at his home so that we would not be subjected to the discomfort of staying with her mother...parents...who are less than...satisfied with our union."

Josef uncrossed his arms. "Hmmm...the lack of sleep?"

"I did not sleep on Vulcan because I had errands to run and wanted to maximize my time with my mother when she was not resting..."

"In Chicago?" said Josef raising his brow.

"We have not traveled with Sybok before..." said Sarek.

"Oh," said Josef.

Sarek let out a long breath that probably sounded like a sigh. "I was not aware that Vulcan toddlers, if presented with ample incentive, can remain awake for days."

"Ouch."

"And there was chocolate -- everywhere," Sarek said. He, Amanda, Matt and Julie -- once they understood the danger -- had spent a good portion of the trip scouring every room that Sybok could potentially enter for the dangerous substance. But the smell lingered. Sybok went from cabinet to cabinet trying to seek the potent drug, even rearranging furniture to achieve his aims.

"Fun for you?" said Josef with a wink.

Sarek felt himself go green. Actually...

There was a knock at Sarek's office door. "Open," said Sarek.

A young Vulcan stepped into the room. "Sir, the Ambassador wishes to see you in her office right away."

Sarek glanced at Josef's face. The human's eyes were narrow and the muscles in his jaw were tight.

The Vulcan aide had addressed Sarek, but Josef was on his feet and heading towards the Ambassador's office before Sarek had even left his chair.

**A/N**:  
So, I know that some of my readers here haven't read Descartes Error...if you haven't read Descartes Error you haven't seen my plug for "The Rest is Rust and Stardust", a Kirk/Uhura fic and one of the best stories out there. It's in my Faves -- read it if you haven't already (or even if you have).

Sort of a rapid update here...but you'll have to wait until Saturday for the end to this cliffie! (It is a cliffie right...or not the same amount of tension here?)

If you enjoyed...Please review! It's the only way Notes and I get paid.


	52. The First Stone

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit. More's the pity.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes From the Classroom.  
**  
The First Stone**

Sarek stepped around the startled Vulcan who had delivered the message and nearly had to jog to catch up with the Josef.

When they entered T'Zena's office, the ambassador stood up. "Door close," she commanded. She looked quickly at Josef. He strode towards the far window that looked out and did not face the two Vulcans.

Sarek tilted his head towards T'Zena.

The Ambassador stood ramrod straight behind her desk, her hands behind her back. "There has been an incident. A Vulcan male and human woman who were suspected of being romantically involved were stoned to death in the Pashton Territories."

"What?" said Sarek stepping forward. He reflexively put his hands behind his back. Stoning. It had been a practice long ago on Vulcan, but it was long since extinct. He wanted to scream. He wanted to put his hands on the high-backed wooden chair that sat adjacent to T'Zena's desk and break it into splinters. His fingers dug into the flesh in his wrists; he knew there would be blood.

The Ambassador looked down at her desk. "It is --"

Spinning around, Josef raised his voice so loud that the glass panes in the windows and the walls along the corridor shook. "_It is _cold blooded murder!"

The human had said what was in Sarek's own mind. The volume of Josef's voice and the obvious emotion of his words made Sarek's hands unclench. Seeing the human's illogical outburst ironically helped Sarek regain his own control.

Josef strode forward as though he were going to leave the office -- or put his hand through one of the glass walls, Sarek couldn't be sure, but at the last minute he shoved his hands into his pockets, pulled up short, and then began to pace back and forth.

Taking a deep breath, Sarek turned to T'Zena, "You need to formulate a correct response to this incident."

"Yes, I need to minimize the...as humans say...fallout, both here and on Vulcan."

"Were they bonded?" asked Sarek.

"No, the relationship was strictly platonic from Dovack, the Vulcan's, point of view," said T'Zena. "We know this from his bond-mate."

Sarek nodded, as he processed the information. They weren't bonded. There was less scandal involved. "That is fortunate --"

"Fortunate?" said Josef, stopping short. "Two people were murdered and you're glad they weren't bonded? So what? What good does that do anyone?" Shaking his head, he hit the open door button with his fist and left the room.

x x x x

Amanda was sipping tea in the staff room. Sarek was agitated. Which meant she was slightly agitated. She had to get better at blocking him --

Across the table, Ted, the gym teacher let out a low, "Hmpf." He was staring at a PADD.

Hoping an intellectual conversation would distract her and knowing it was his habit to read the news this time of day, Amanda asked, "What is it?"

Shaking his head, Ted said, "Hell's wormhole...you'd think we'd come further than that."

"What happened?" Amanda asked.

"Somewhere off on the Afghanistan-Pakistani border some locals thought a Vulcan was having an affair with some human girl -- stoned them both to death."

Amanda nearly dropped her tea cup. Ted didn't notice. "Oh, and this is just perfect..." he said. "Seems like he was only tutoring her...Well, of course, Vulcans don't have affairs--"

From across the room, Jocelyn, one of the fourth grade teachers, piped up, "So you don't think there really was an affair between T'Pol and Commander Tucker?"

Ted snorted. "No."

Trembling, Amanda turned towards Jocelyn. "Two people are _dead_. By _stoning_."

x x x x

"But it's not like that _here_!" said Amanda. "The Pashton Territories are remote...Culturally they're backwards."

They were standing in the living room. Sybok was coloring in the kitchen.

"Nonetheless, I think it would be wise if we did not call attention to ourselves. Refrain from being seen together in public," Sarek said.

"Sarek, I know you're only concerned for my safety -- and Sybok's...but things like what happened," she gestured with her hand, "...there...aren't going to happen here."

Sybok began to bang on the table in the other room.

"And hiding our relationship, in the long run, is more dangerous," said Amanda.

Sybok's bangs got closer together. Turning on her heels, Amanda marched into the kitchen and pulled out another piece of paper for him.

"I fail to see your logic," said Sarek.

Amanda wasn't sure where she was heading either. Taking a deep breath she said, "Well...if people think that Human Vulcan couples don't exist, then the more alien our relationships will seem."

Sarek looked away, but not before Amanda saw what was in his mind. "So what, yes...we are aliens. But we're not...not really...we have a kid! We're a family! Hiding just makes the situation worse for every couple that comes after us."

Crossing her arms over her chest she said, "If we turn away from this fight, someone else will have to fight it. There's got to be some law of Surak that forbids that."

Sarek narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. Amanda knew she had him.

From down the hall came the sound of the door chime.

Going to the kitchen comm view screen, Amanda's brow furrowed. Who could it be?

Hitting the button, she found herself staring down at a small elderly woman with a cane. Amanda didn't know her name, but she recognized her. It was one of their neighbors. Amanda had never exchanged more than friendly hellos with the woman.

Sarek came up behind her and looked over her shoulder. "What is she doing here?"

"I don't know, Sarek. Maybe she needs to borrow a cup of sugar. But I'm going to go ask," said Amanda.

Behind her she could hear Sarek's footsteps. "Wait, Amanda --"

x x x x

Amanda opened the door before Sarek was even able to reach the foyer.

What was she thinking? Certainly the small woman outside was not a physical threat...and certainly she must have deduced that Amanda and he both lived here. But why open the door and confirm? Why invite her into their private lives?

For that matter, why would a neighbor seek to enter into their private lives? A cup of sugar? No Vulcan would think of it until they at least knew your name and had been speaking with you for several years.

Over Amanda's shoulder, Sarek saw the elderly woman shrink back a bit when Amanda opened the door. She looked up briefly at Sarek, and then looked quickly back to Amanda.

"May I help you?" Amanda said.

"Hello dear," said the woman. "Well...no...I don't need any help. I heard the news about what happened in the Pashton Territories. I've seen you and your --" she looked at Sarek briefly again and then back to Amanda, "...your partner, and the little boy." Straightening, she said, "I've lived in this neighborhood for fifty years and I just want you to know, if anyone gives you any trouble, I want you to tell me about it." She thumped her cane on the ground in front of her. "I won't stand for it."

Sarek blinked; this tiny, frail human was volunteering her -- what? Protection? In any altercation she was bound to fair much worse than he or Amanda. And she didn't even know them. Not really.

From the bond with Amanda he felt her own shock.

"I'm afraid I don't know your name," said Amanda.

"It's Sue," said the old woman, "Sue Kalt."

From behind Sarek came the sound of small feet. Sybok skipped around his legs and over to Amanda before Sarek could catch him.

"I'm Amanda," his bond-mate said, turning to gesture towards Sarek. "This is Sarek." Putting her hand on Sybok's head she said, "And this is Sybok."

Smiling, the older woman said, "Pleased to meet you. Pleased to meet you all."

x x x x

Amanda was sitting in the office in front of the vid monitor after Sarek put Sybok to bed. Over her shoulder Sarek saw a vid of what looked to be a shrine of flowers in front of...he blinked. It was the Vulcan Embassy.

Turning to him Amanda said, "There are flowers outside of the Vulcan Embassy and every Vulcan Consulate on Earth. People, people who probably don't even know any Vulcans, are expressing their sorrow and their outrage...just like Sue was. We're not all savages."

Tilting his head Sarek replied, "Of course not. Nor did I ever think that. Obviously." He had to force his voice to stay even. Would he have bonded to her if he thought she was illogical?

Amanda turned back to the screen and turned the volume up, but the pictures of the Embassy and the flowers vanished; instead the scene shifted to a building that appeared to be a hospital.

_"Dovack, the Vulcan in the pair that was so brutally murdered in the __Pashton Territories__," _an announcer said,_ "was not romantically involved with his human companion -- but now we turn to a human alien pair that definitely are a couple..."_

_"Yes, Barbara, that's right. A Betazed married to a human woman in Canada's Northwest Territories was denied visitation rights when she was briefly confined in a hospital after an accident in London. They're taking their case to court."_

"Huh," said Amanda sitting up very straight, "how can they do that?"

Sarek wondered the same. He felt Amanda's spirits perk -- and his own dampen. If he _could not_ marry her there was no need for confrontation on the matter. He did not want to draw further attention to them...as a matter of propriety, and now of safety.

_"But Brad, how can they do that? As I understand it, the human alien marriages are symbolic only ---"_

_"Well, maybe not the ones in the Northwestern Provinces of Canada, Barbara. It has to do with that region's particular route into the United Earth Government --"_

**A/N**

Sorry for the story alert that wasn't a story yesterday. M'Celeste, hope Botsey's got it figured out now…

This chapter is tense...Next two or three chapters may be where I crash and burn with this story. It's what I envisioned since the beginning, but since I haven't even run the idea by Notes yet (I wanted to keep her in suspense too) it may really be a lousy one. It will be up to you, Dear Readers, to decide!

If you read and enjoyed please leave a review...the next chapter is hard to write and reviews help keep me going!


	53. Visits

**Disclaimer: I do not own. I do not profit.**

**Special Thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom**

**Visits**

"Do you think it will work?" Amanda asked Josef.

It was months since the Betazed-Human couple had sued the hospital for denying the Betazed rights to see his human partner. The case was headed towards the planet's Supreme Court.

They were in Josef's condo, standing at the corner of the unit, two walls of glass, one overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge, the other towards the ocean. Sarek and T'Zena were in the dining room talking about something completely different.

Pushing up his glasses, Josef said, "I think it might." He looked out at the dark expanse of ocean.

The Northwest Territories of Canada had been one of the few regions of Earth that hadn't fallen under the sway of the religious fundamentalists during the Great Mistake – the remote area just hadn't been worth taking.

During the Great Mistake, under religious pressure, most regions of Earth had denied rights of marriage and civil partnerships to same-sex couples.

The rules did not roll back immediately after first contact; it wasn't first priority. Unification was the first priority. And the Northwest Territories had refused to join the Unified Earth Government unless partnerships legal under their laws were recognized Earth-wide. Although recognition for same-sex couples was still controversial at the time, the Moderates accepted in their haste to unify...and hadn't paid as much attention as they might have to the original charter of the Northwest Territories -- it was a small and hardly-inhabited. They were more worried about Eurasia.

...Now it seemed like the Northwest Territories charter could be interpreted to cover inter-species couples as well.

"Judge Roberts is against interspecies unions," Amanda said.

"Yes," said Josef, "but he also believes in a strict interpretation of the law. He's a fundamentalist Christian; they're minorities now. I'm sure he'd rather that governance be established by charters than any other religious group."

Amanda looked out at the ocean. And if the Northwest Territory charter was upheld...Would she and Sarek get married? They lived together, they were seen in public together -- although living in a fairly urban area offered a certain amount of anonymity...

Marriage was still the line Sarek did not want to cross. He pointed out that if they were one of the first Vulcan-Human couples to get married, they would receive a lot of unnecessary attention from the press. Which made Amanda quite hopeful that given just a little time he might come around...

Smiling to herself, she looked over towards the city. The flickering of the lights made contours of the buildings almost seem to be in motion.

She turned her eyes to the interior of Josef's barren condo. The only two pieces of furniture in this room were a large viewing monitor, a sound system, and a couch. Besides a remote control the only other accessory in the room was a holoscope prototype. How he'd managed to procure one she could only guess.

"You know, Josef," she said, "You haven't done anything to decorate this place but the view almost makes up for it."

"What do you mean almost?" Josef said in a wounded tone slightly too dramatic to be sincere.

Amanda grinned.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go get our drinks."

"Do you think they've stopped talking about the molecular structure of the granite used to build the Embassy yet?" said Amanda, closing her eyes to focus on what Sarek was talking about...

"No." They both said in unison as they headed into the enormous, modern, and barren kitchen.

Josef took a bottle of wine off his refrigerator. This was Sarek and Amanda's third visit to his home -- they'd never been to T'Zena's official residence.

Every time she came here, Amanda was struck by how expensive the place must have been -- and how empty it was. She supposed between a bachelor and a Vulcan there might not be much impetus to decorate. Oddly enough, Amanda had seen more of T'Zena's personal effects in the condo than Josef's. A few Vulcan wraps in the closet, a hair dryer, brush, and pins in the bathroom that certainly didn't belong to Josef.

Feeling a little punchy as Josef poured the wine, Amanda turned back to another line of inquiry. "So are you going to tell me how you got together?"

Josef pushed a glass of wine to her. "No."

"Oh, come on -- I've got two X chromosomes and it is just the sort of thing I'm dying to know about. Technically she is your boss, and she's Vulcan -- "

"Well," said Josef licking his lips and smiling slightly. "I suppose it did take a certain amount of chutzpah."

Amanda rolled her eyes.

Taking a sip of wine, Josef smiled, "And you know, the part of me that's German just can't resist a siege."

Amanda's eyes went wide. The Germans during the Great Mistake had been...aggressive. And the Jews had suffered through that aggression along with other minority groups -- if not more so. And then there was the other war...World War I or World War II.

"What?" said Josef innocently.

Amanda punched his shoulder. "Even if you are Jewish, that was uncalled for."

"You almost made me spill my drink!" he complained.

x x x x

As Amanda's fist connected with Josef's shoulder, Sarek straightened with a start. There was nothing untoward in her behavior, and yet...physical contact...

"Just ignore it," said T'Zena. "They are what they are. They endure behaviors from us that are similarly alien to them. My guess is she meant nothing by it -- other than to correct Josef for his joke in poor taste?"

It took a moment for Sarek to realize it was a question. "Yes," he said.

"And that is how it was received," said T'Zena.

She'd answered his unspoken question -- and perhaps he hers? They understood each other. Whether by a bond of culture or biology Sarek didn't know.

Life with an alien was a constant negotiation. Amanda didn't like hiding their relationship -- at all. She would prefer to be completely open to support solidarity with other mixed couples. It was only Sarek's visceral distaste for such openness that held her back. He didn't hide their relationship, except from other Vulcans. But he did not flaunt it either.

If she were Vulcan perhaps she would understand...but if she were Vulcan they wouldn't be bonded. Sarek might be still waiting on a bond mate, or trapped with a bond-mate he was completely incompatible with.

What Vulcan woman would have confronted her family and insisted on being allowed to bond with a single, never-married father, ex to a V'tosh ka'tur?

He looked across to T'Zena. He doubted she would have even considered him, despite their shared interest in the molecular constructs of ordinary materials. It was humans she found truly fascinating.

Her parents had thought it logical to push her towards diplomacy and put her fascination -- and eccentricity -- to use for the good of Vulcan. With the exception of her push to see that Vulcan-alien couples were tolerated, T'Zena had never defied her parents. And he'd gleaned, accidentally, that her defiance was before Josef had entered the picture. It had been philosophical, not personal.

"I don't think you're talking about rocks anymore," said Amanda, carrying in two glasses of wine and putting one in front of Sarek. Josef followed a step behind.

"Why, were your ears burning?" said Sarek employing a fascinating human expression alluding to a bonded consciousness between humans.

Grinning, Amanda sat down next to him.

x x x

Sarek was with Josef at the human's favorite pub. Amanda was meeting with Professar Karmac at the Embassy going over edits for the Vulcan language curriculum they'd been devising together.

Sarek had worked late to attend a conference call with the community in Asia interested in being the site for the holoscope factory. Since he'd missed Sybok's bedtime and Amanda wasn't home, he accepted Josef's offer for a game of 3d chess and a pint. Although they'd been here for over an hour, they were just getting out the chess board. They'd been engaged in a quite spirited discussion with Tirrissa the Orion. Josef was right. When bonded and immune to her pheromones, one could engage in conversation with her -- and she did have fascinating views on microeconomics.

As Sarek started to put pieces on the board, a motion from above Josef's shoulder caught his eye. It was Tirissa blowing him a kiss from over the shoulder of a human gentleman she was leaving the bar with. Sarek did not acknowledge it. Josef saw his gaze, turned around and waved to the Orion; she blew another kiss to him and headed out the door.

"Will he ever get a chance to hear her thoughts on the Klingon garthbaite trade?" asked Sarek.

Josef winced. "No, I don't think so." Placing his pieces on the board he said, "It's a shame really. Such a nutritious fruit -- if it were allowed to go beyond the Klingon Empire, the Klingons might have more incentive not to conquer or blow up everything that moves..."

"The neuro-toxic gas worms that sometimes infest the fruit are something of an issue..." Sarek said.

"Yes, there is that," said Josef. "It's your turn to go first."

For the next forty-five minutes they played mostly in silence and then Amanda came in. Sarek knew the moment before she stepped through the door. Lifting his head, he greeted her wide smile and wave with a nod and a rush of affection. Josef looked up and waved.

Amanda walked over and slid into the booth next to Sarek. He briefly touched her fingers. She was in a very good mood.

"Your evening with Professor Karmac went well?" Sarek said.

"Yes. The publisher had only a few edits," said Amanda. "They're Vulcan; there were some points of interpretation they disagreed with, but I think I have to stick to my guns."

She looked at the board. _So what's your strategy, Sarek?_

Sarek explained his moves through the bond while Amanda watched the board. She was only half interested in the game. As he played he could feel her excitement morph to concern.

"Josef," she said, "is everything alright? You seem a little tense."

Sarek had not noticed any tension on Josef's part. Although now that Amanda brought it up...Perhaps there was a little tightening in the jaw. He had been bouncing his knee beneath the table all evening, and he'd pushed up his glasses a more than usual...

"T'Zena is going to Vulcan to visit her family," said Josef.

Sarek had known about the trip, but he hadn't realized it was a personal journey.

"Oh," said Amanda.

"I'm going, too," said Josef.

Sarek blinked. Would T'Zena be called back to Vulcan? Would Josef go, too?

Amanda wasn't thinking these things...she just was feeling. A deep sense of foreboding filled the bond between them.

"Oh," said Amanda again.

Josef looked down at the board. "Her parents are pushing her to bond."

"I'm sorry," said Amanda, employing the highly unsatisfactory human condolence.

Shrugging, Josef said, "It will be good to get this resolved and in the open....one way or another."

For a reason Sarek couldn't identify and was probably unknown even to Amanda herself, his bond-mate's sense of foreboding deepened.

**A/N:**

Might be a little while until the next chapter – Saturday perhaps? I had to do a rewrite, and I'd like to make sure that the next two chapters really "work".

FYI: The character of Sue was based on a real person. The little old lady who lived below one of my Arab co-workers came up and said basically the same thing to him and his wife on 9/11. Pretty much sealed their decision to become U.S. citizens.

If you enjoyed this chapter please let me and Notes know. Your reviews help keep us writing.


	54. Water Snakes

**Disclaimer: I do not own I do not profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom

**Water Snakes**

T'Pau did not contact Sarek after Josef and T'Zena's trip. The Ambassador did not lose her post, and Josef remained CFO. Sarek wasn't sure what this meant. Did T'Pau know? Was she making a calculated decision that retaining T'Zena during a delicate time was more important than ensuring Vulcan discretion? Or had Josef, T'Zena, and her family kept the information private?

Neither T'Zena nor Josef spoke on the matter, and Sarek did not ask. Of the trip Josef had only said, "It could have been worse."

Josef looked over the chess board and moved his knight. He and Sarek were in Sarek's office three weeks after Josef's return from Vulcan, the first time they'd had a chance to play. The other couple had not visited Amanda and Sarek's home either, despite an extended invitation.

Responding to Josef's move, Sarek couldn't help noticing that the human's game was badly off. They'd played nearly in silence for the past forty-five minutes. Josef hadn't tried to distract him with banter.

Putting his hand on one of his few remaining pawns, Josef said, "They weren't so much angry as they were shocked, and then sad, worried and...embarrassed. From what I could gather..."

Josef had not spoken of his journey since his return. Sarek was surprised by the sudden personal revelation from his chess partner, but he didn't need to ask who 'they' were, or how he'd 'gathered' that emotional information. Josef would have felt it through his bond to T'Zena.

Now Josef moved the pawn and set it down too heavily. "I get the impression that I'm a step down from a V'tosh ka'tur."

"Only to one who has not been intimately acquainted with a V'tosh ka'tur," said Sarek, looking up at the human. Visions of T'Yavi pushing Sybok to a corner while she pursued physical sensation filled his mind.

Josef's eyes met his. He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked down at the board. "I think it would have been easier if they'd been angry."

Sarek tilted his head at the statement, but Josef did not explain.

"Sarek," Josef said softly. "She's going to Vulcan again...from your contacts...it is a professional trip...isn't it?"

Sarek blinked at the reference to his 'contacts,' but he did not dodge the question. "She is scheduled to meet with the Vulcan Science Academy in two days time, and then to appear before the High Council. The appearance before the High Council will be open to the public. More than that I do not know."

"I see," said Josef, not looking up.

x x x x

T'Zena shivered slightly in her office. She felt Josef's revelation to Sarek. The feeling of vulnerability he hated -- he did not like 'airing dirty laundry'. She blinked. At least, she was fairly certain a revelation had been made by Josef.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated and confirmed...it had been Josef's revelation, no one else's. Although she'd been trying to keep their bond silent, sometimes her defenses fell -- she saw glimpses of his feelings. And bits of her went the other way.

Composing herself she rebuilt the wall. Her mind was inundated by unpleasant feelings not her own now. It would not do any good to reveal them.

From her mother -- she was sure it was her mother -- there was the constant fear and sadness. When she'd revealed her bond to her parents her mother had said nothing at first, but later when she'd caught T'Zena alone she'd begged with her to break the bond. "Your two brothers," her mother had said. "How will they find suitable bond-mates when their sister is bonded to a human? How could you put their lives at risk? It is illogical -- to let your fascination sacrifice the well-being of two."

From her father there was shock, hurt, a feeling of betrayal and failure. He had not contained himself in front of Josef. "We have always supported you. We encouraged you to pursue what fascinated you, we thought we saw the logic in it. But you turn away from us."

On her arrival home her two brothers had extended their fingers readily to her. She'd felt their excitement to see her, and she'd readily broadcast her feeling of affection to them. After her revelation they'd kept their hands carefully behind their backs. At least she wasn't so close to them to have mental ties to them as well...

Underneath her parents' fear and shock there was something else. Revulsion...and dismissal. Before there used to be just a constant hum of love and acceptance. Even though she was so very odd. Even though she didn't fit...

She'd been illogical. No, her actions had been very logical. She was _being_ illogical.

Taking a deep breath, T'Zena turned and hit the comm next to her. She had a call scheduled with Guam.

x x x

Josef came by after most of the office had departed. Her defenses must have been better than she gave herself credit for because she didn't know he was there until his voice cut through the room.

_"How can I fight what you will not let me see?"_ he said. He spoke the words in German, his native language. T'Zena spoke over twenty Earth languages. Even if she hadn't, the bond would have transferred his native tongue. He'd always fought for her, but now...

_"There is no fight,"_ she corrected. And there wasn't. Her parents had retreated. The bonds were just unconscious shadows left behind.

Weren't they?

x x x

It took T'Zena a moment to comprehend where she was. She was in her office again...three years ago...but she wasn't. She was at her official residence leaving for Vulcan in one point five hours to meet with the Vulcan Science Academy. She was meditating.

But no, she was in her office...and there was Josef, across from her. He thought she was beautiful -- and strong, and fair. Why did he think she was fair? Because the first time he told a joke, instead of saying, "That is illogical" -- the normal Vulcan response -- she said, "You are using humor to diffuse a situation. Fascinating."

Why was she feeling what he was feeling? Why was she in his memories? Because he was dreaming. Josef was dreaming. She had to get out. But even as her mind processed that thought, she felt herself pulled in. Because she wanted to be? Because she was weak, illogical?

She was back in his office and the dream was from her point of view now. She thought he was physically appealing, too. Blonde hair, so rare on Vulcan. Rounded ears, of course -- since her bond-mate died she had the illogical urge to run her fingers over their smooth arch. And gray eyes framed by glasses...because he didn't like people, or machines, "messing with his vision". She knew that now but she hadn't known that then. Her memories and his were confused by the bond and by the dream.

Why had he come to her office?

"I have been investigating the miscellaneous expenses. I think the current CFO is hiding something from you. I found this expense --" He handed her a PADD. Her heart fell. It was the trip to Seoul that had gone so wrong. "And there has been a cover up --"

Standing PADD in hand, she stepped around her desk. "What is your purpose?"

"I know you can't be involved in this, T'Zena."

When had he started calling her by her first name?

"Your attitude towards humans..." He said, "I know that it has gotten you in trouble with Vulcan High Command..."

"What is your purpose?" she said again. If he found out. If he knew. If this got out -- the greatest secret of her people, exposed. To have their deepest shame revealed.

He blinked. "To help you."

It was well known that humans could be liars. Until that moment T'Zena hadn't paid much mind to that. But now. Was he seeking to blackmail her people?

Given the stakes, what she did was justifiable. Without warning she slapped her fingers onto his face.

...and found shock, but no fear. And he had not been lying. He was trying to help her. For many reasons. It was the right thing to do.

But there was something else --

He desired her. No surprise there. Humans were notorious in this regard. But what was surprising was how easily he found she wanted him, and how quickly he turned the situation to his advantage in the meld. The meld should have been unfamiliar territory to him -- but the revelation of her desire so plain to a stranger was unfamiliar to her.

Grabbing her wrist he held her hand to his face. "What are you afraid of?" And then he did that strange human thing. He pressed his lips to hers as her fingers were still on his contact points and their thoughts flowed together like water.

...No...not in Josef's dream. In Josef's dream where her fingers touched his face, tiny snakes slithered into his mind and he couldn't pull away.

T'Zena's eyes snapped open. She was in her meditation chamber, shaking, and alone. And Josef was struggling through a nightmare alone. She should go to him -- it wasn't like that.

But...maybe it was...maybe it had been... She could not tell what was logical or illogical anymore.

She tried to tune into the soft hum that was her parents...and felt only the tendrils of shock and fear.

She looked at the clock. She had to be at the office soon. That was logical.

A/N:

For those of you wondered how T'Zena and Josef got together…

Hope you enjoyed…if you did, pls review, it helps me keep going and this little segment is difficult.


	55. Undertow

**Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I profit from.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom.

**Undertow**

The High Council was dispersing. T'Zena's progress meeting with them had gone as expected. Her updates were well received. No one on the council, including her father or uncle, disputed her response to the stoning, or her plans for situating the holoscope factory in Africa.

Why would they? It would be illogical. Their argument with her wasn't there.

Leaning over she checked her PADD. There were several messages from Earth, one from Josef she carefully did not read for fear it would topple her shields. She needed to remain unemotional here. To appear compromised here on Vulcan...

The Great Hall was empty when she stood to leave. She made her way down a hallway lined by dark columns. She was completely alone -- cut off from her bonds to her mate and family. She'd always been alone though, hadn't she? 'A square peg in a round hole'--that was the human expression.

Humans. Her fascination. She wasn't really one of them either. She didn't feel as though she really belonged to either world. She didn't have a place...

Stopping in her tracks, she closed her eyes to compose herself...and saw a vision of Josef leaning over her...a morning they hadn't bothered even to get out of bed...his cool forehead against hers. "You have a place here."

She did, didn't she? She almost dropped her shields -- and then realized she was not alone.

"T'Zena?"

Opening her eyes she found herself staring at her mother.

Extending two fingers, her mother said, "Are you alright, my Child?"

T'Zena stared at the fingers for a moment. An olive branch? It was her mother...She held out two fingers of her own and was instantly hit with a wave of longing. Her mother missed her. T'Zena's shields fell.

Eyes widening slightly, her mother said, "How can you think you do not belong?"

_T'Zena?_ Josef's mind whispered to hers. She felt a wave of hopefulness. Her mother's? Josef's?

Footsteps came from behind one of the dark columns.

"You have always had a place with us." It was her father, holding out two fingers.

_No, T'Zena, don't_, came Josef's voice, but at the same time another voice was whispering, _It is your father and he loves you._

Or maybe they both were the same voice?

Her fingers connected with her father's and she felt happiness...the love and affection that usually buzzed at the back of her mind flashed to the forefront and she echoed it. There was another voice, of dread, but it was overwhelmed and overshadowed by the feelings of love and belonging.

Stepping forward, her mother pressed her forehead to the side of T'Zena's face and T'Zena understood the human expression 'So happy I could cry.'

_It can always be thus._ It was her father, or her mother-- she couldn't tell. Dimly she was aware of footsteps behind her. _Your kinsmen, almost all of us are here..._

Almost all?

Dimly she was aware of her father and mother pressing their palms to hers and felt other hands cover her own.

_Come back to us._ T'Zena couldn't tell if it was her father or mother. Images of her twin brothers filled her mind. _Do not abandon them._

She did not want to abandon them. Hated the fact that her dalliance had put their future well being in jeopardy...it was a dalliance, wasn't it? No, it had been more than that...

_You were curious,_ the voices in her mind said, and she felt a wave of understanding. Yes, it had been...curiosity...right?

A tiny voice in her mind screamed _No! _And she felt a flash of anger. _Josef?_

She felt a flood of acceptance and peace. _He will be fine. He will be well. He is human. You were so far from home. Alone. Lonely. Not anymore...help your brothers...and also...there is another life, a life you can save a life...it is morally praiseworthy...and logical..._

Save a life? What was left of her rational mind knew what they were saying. They had found a new bond-mate for her...

_He is in much danger...an emergency..._She felt their concern for an unknown man whose face flashed before her eyes_...he faces death...his mate is dead._

She understood. The unknown man was entering Pon Farr. What was the logical thing?

_You can save him..._

She saw more images of her little brothers. _If you do this...they_ _will be able to bond without difficulty...and the man will live...and receive a bond-mate...a logical, eminently suitable bond-mate..._

They loved her. They thought she was logical...despite what she had done. They forgave.

_You can make one small sacrifice...for three..._The face of the unknown man and her brothers' faces flashed behind her eyes.

She took a deep breath, her own breath, they were wrong...it was not one for three, it was a sacrifice of two for three...Josef..._The human will be fine, his need is not life and death...it is logical..._

...it _was_ logical...

T'Zena's mind was flooded with happiness that was nearly blinding. She felt herself losing all rational thought.

..._and you will always belong._

x x x

"Good afternoon, T'Lana," said Amanda to the wizened old Vulcan.

"Good afternoon," said T'Lana.

Sybok rolled off the couch into a somersault -- his latest trick. "And good afternoon, my little monkey!" Amanda said going forward and touching her fingers and forehead to his. A little palm connected with her cheek. She saw an image of a monkey...and Sybok himself...and felt exclamation that could only be described as "Huh?!"

"Act like a monkey and it is only logical you will be mistaken for one," said T'Lana heading into the kitchen. Amanda sometimes wondered if T'Lana had a parental bond to Sybok -- one that Amanda's psi null abilities meant she'd never share. To contain her envy she told herself T'Lana had so much experience with Vulcan children she could probably guess their thoughts.

From the kitchen the comm rang. "Ms. Amanda, it is Josef Friedmann. Should I pick up?"

"I'll get it," said Amanda following her into the other room. Maybe they'd have that dinner double date after all...

She hit the accept button...and blinked in confusion. In the vid screen was a familiar green face. Amanda's brow furrowed. What was going on?

"You!" said the Orion blinking at Amanda's face. "Where is Sarek?"

"He is not here. Why do you have Josef Friedmann's comm?" said Amanda.

"Do you know Josef?" said Tirissa.

There was a hint of distress in the green woman's voice. "Yes..." said Amanda.

"Sarek's your bond-mate, isn't he?" Without pausing to let Amanda answer, Tirissa continued, "You must get him...Josef's here...I think something's gone horribly wrong with his bond...I borrowed his comm..."

"Where?" asked Amanda. Behind her she heard T'Lana take in a sharp breath.

"We're at the pub --" Tirissa said breathlessly. "You've got to get Sarek -- I don't think this is something an Earth doctor can fix."

Amanda swallowed, "I understand...I have to go now, I'll call you back and let you know what's happening though -- okay?"

Nodding and biting her lip, Tirissa flicked out.

Amanda focused on Sarek...he was on a call but she couldn't tell with who--she was still an amateur at this...But it was important, very important, life threatening...she didn't know what to do. She broadcast her alarm...texted him a message explaining the situation, and then called the healer, T'Quill.

x x x

Sarek was on his way home for work. His mind was mulling a problem. He couldn't hear his mother's presence in the back of his mind. She was blocking him...He had confronted her on the last call. She didn't say, but he had been able to infer. His relatives were pushing her to accept a bond-mate for him...and she was trying to spare him from the discomfort.

A light flashed red ahead and Sarek brought his vehicle to a halt. A flash of confusion came from Amanda. He tilted his head -- she was not in any danger...

Just then his personal comm started to chime. He looked down. It was T'Pau. She never sent him messages on his personal line. Hitting the accept button, he pulled over to the side of the road.

The elder was facing him. She swallowed visibly. "Sarek, there has been an incident."

Sarek felt Amanda's alarm and wasn't sure if she was just echoing his own.

**A/N**:

So…half of you probably hate me now. This is how I thought the story would go since the beginning. (If it makes you feel any better, I think you might like the ending I give for Josef, even if it isn't precisely romantic). Sarek needs something to get him up off his butt, to give him a "logical" reason to misbehave.

Some people asked…I don't think T'Zena hid anything from Josef about her trip. I think Josef was worried there would be foul play and was asking Sarek if he knew anything. I think that Josef does love her even if their beginning was different. I don't think T'Zena has enough "logical" underpinnings to give herself faith in the relationship – even if she does love Josef.

Also, yes, I do think that the female Vulcans would be easier to manipulate – although I doubt there are that many "emergency" situations. I'm sure there is a Female Vulcan – Human couple somewhere (Reunion!)

Anyway, please leave a review if you were entertained …it helps keep me going.


	56. Mercy

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom. She has a new story out now, "Once and Future." It's in my favorites. Check it out.

**Mercy**

Sarek's jaw tightened. Another human Vulcan bonding? T'Zena was on Vulcan, but with Josef's help he would be able to manage. He nodded. "Tell me the details."

The elder hesitated, and looked down. "Sarek, I did not tell you...four weeks ago a member of T'Zena's family came forward and informed me that T'Zena was bonded to Josef Friedmann..."

Sarek contained the urge to raise an eyebrow.

"Because of the position of her family...it was kept strictly confidential." T'Pau met his eyes. "It was decided by a special committee that the best course of action was to permit the bond and allow T'Zena and Josef to keep their positions. We did not even inform the pair we knew of their union..."

She lifted her head and eyed Sarek. "Obviously, they have been very discreet until now; we did not want to jeopardize that by appearing to condone the bond."

Sarek tilted his head. In the back of his mind he felt Amanda will herself to be calm. He willed the same for himself.

T'Pau bowed her head again. "A few hours ago the same family member came forward inform us..." The elder took a deep breath. "A few hours ago T'Zena's family convinced her to break the bond. We have been warned that they are attempting to bond her to a Vulcan. We are looking for T'Zena now...but by the time we find her it may be too late."

Sarek forced his breathing to remain even. "The council acts as a mediator between these couples and their families. How --"

T'Pau looked up at the screen. "We failed."

A portion of Sarek's world crumbled at the elder's words. His discretion was supposed to be his protection...

"You must find, Mr. Friedmann," T'Pau said. "With the bond broken his behavior may become erratic. He may seek revenge by speaking to the public."

Sarek's stomach fell. A half-broken bond was distinctly unpleasant for the Vulcan whose link was not severed. Sarek had no idea how human physiology would react...would it be dangerous for Josef?

His jaw clenched. T'Pau was worried first and foremost of Vulcan's reputation...of course...it was logical. Was it moral? Could the immoral ever truly be logical?

"Will you handle this, Sarek?" T'Pau said.

"Taking care of Josef Friedman is now my utmost concern," Sarek said. It was the truth, but T'Pau would interpret his meaning differently. He wanted to protect Josef. Not Vulcan conventions. And he wanted to shout that fact to T'Pau.

His comm chirped. In an inset he saw a text from Amanda; it reminded him of what was the most logical and moral course of action. "A mutual acquaintance has located Josef; I must go Elder."

Nodding briefly, he closed his comm and prepared to turn his vehicle around.

x x x

Amanda looked at the clock on her computer screen -- it was nearly six o' clock now which meant that where T'Quill was it would be 02:00. When the bond was still new, whenever she had a slight headache or felt the teeniest bit queasy, Sarek had called T'Quill...T'Quill would recognize the number...

...Surely a call at 02:00 would convince the Vulcan healer that something was amiss. Or maybe the healer would logically deduce Sarek was just being paranoid again?

Amanda said a silent prayer...and the monitor at the other end of the line flickered to life. T'Quill stood before her, hair rumpled, in what looked like pajamas. She was older than Amanda but looked younger, and with her blurry eyes she looked so...vulnerable.

"Amanda?" said T'Quill, clearly surprised...Amanda had never called before; it had always been Sarek -- with Amanda protesting in the background. "There is an emergency? Have you begun to develop headaches, nausea, fever?"

Shaking her head, Amanda said, "There is an emergency, but not mine. A friend of ours, a human friend, his bond-mate has left him unbonded --"

T'Quill's eyes widened slightly. The emotional display did not make Amanda feel any better.

"Where is he?" the Vulcan asked. "In San Franscisco, with you and Sarek?"

"Yes, in San Francisco," said Amanda. She closed her eyes, took a breath. "Sarek is going to him now."

"I must find a flight immediately. I will call you from the shuttle port." And with that the monitor flicked out.

T'Quill's haste did not make Amanda feel better.

x x x

As soon as Sarek came into the pub, Tirissa grabbed him by the arm. "He's over there at the booth in the far corner -- he seems a little better now, but he won't let me near him."

Sarek was too concerned about Josef to brush away the offending physical contact.

Hunched over in a booth, Josef was studying something beneath his fingers. A few empty glasses were strewn about him. Looking up, Josef caught Sarek's eyes, then looked at Tirissa. "You," he said pointing at the Orion, "stay away."

Tirissa made a soft sigh. "I haven't taken my pheromone blockers today. It hasn't mattered in a long time --"

Sarek gently brushed her hand off his arm and slid into the booth next to Josef.

Josef was staring at the small object he was holding in his hands. It was a chess pawn. Spinning it beneath his finger he said, "She can't hear me." He closed his eyes. "But every time my eyes shut, I see...things..."

Sarek remembered T'Yavi's visions coming to him unbidden in bits and pieces -- even after the bond was broken. Now with a half-broken bond Josef was experiencing something similar. Sarek had shields...Josef did not.

Blinking Josef said, "They're taking her to him now -- something's wrong with him. What's wrong with him? Oh, no, no, no." Hands going to his head, Josef leaned forward and whispered, "No, T'Zena. No."

What had T'Yavi's parents said to her to convince their daughter to bond? "Now a man's life is in danger you must..." Sarek's nostrils flared. He knew what Josef was about to endure.

The human next to him began to shake and sweat came to his brow. "Sarek...make it stop! Make it stop!"

Sarek could not perform the functions of a healer...not on an unfamiliar human mind. "Forgive me," Sarek said. Josef looked up at Sarek, his gray eyes bloodshot. Reaching over, Sarek applied a nerve pinch and then gently caught the human as he slumped forward.

Looking over his shoulder, Sarek motioned to Tirissa. The green woman was at his side an instant later. "Will he be alright?"

"I do not know," Sarek said. "We must get him someplace where the healer can meet with him in private."

Tipping her head, Tirissa said, "Amanda just called me; she said T'Quill is on her way. She is coming by shuttle, not by plane; she should be in San Francisco in less than an hour."

Slipping out of the booth, Sarek pulled Josef upright and went under one of the human's arms. He turned to Tirissa. "Would you --" but before he could even finish the sentence, the green woman was already under Josef's other arm. She nodded her head at Sarek and they made their way from the establishment. As they passed the bar Tirissa said, "One too many!"

x x x x

They took Josef to Sarek's hover and then to Josef's home. During the short trip Tirissa removed her shirt -- thankfully she was wearing a lacy, though not indecent, undergarment beneath. Rolling up the shirt, Tirissa dampened it with water from a bottle Amanda had left in the car. Sarek glanced up in the rearview mirror and saw her patting the cloth to Josef's forehead.

Sarek tilted his head. She did not reveal the nature of Josef's distress to any of the patrons at the bar, put up with his less than polite behavior, and now was gently nursing him in the back seat. This was the same woman who had tried to solicit Sarek's attentions so brazenly?

"He has always been a good friend to me," said Tirissa as if hearing Sarek's mental confusion. "Since we went to Stanford together." She sighed. "If only he wasn't such a damned would-be monogamist...and so neurotic about STD's..."

It was indeed the same woman. But he could see why she was deserving of friendship.

Later, as Sarek and Tirissa carried Josef's down the hall towards his bedroom, the man started to stir. "Too hot...T'Zena..."

They were almost to the bedroom. Sarek didn't want to apply a nerve pinch again until they could lay him down.

"It's okay, shush, baby, shush..." Tirissa said.

Josef's body started to shake. "Quickly, to the bed," said Sarek, awkwardly maneuvering Josef's limp body through the bedroom doorway.

They turned Josef around and Sarek tried to lay him as gently as he could upon the mattress. The human was simultaneously sweating and shivering.

Sarek reached to apply another nerve pinch, but before he did Josef's eyes' snapped open. Grabbing Sarek's hand, Josef said, "If you do this to Amanda, I swear I'll kill you."

Sarek froze. Josef's emotions flowed to him through the hand to hand contact...Josef didn't feel anything like love or possessiveness for Amanda, just...Sarek tilted his head. Amanda described that emotion as righteous anger.

Sarek looked at the human's eyes wet and bloodshot, his hair damp against his forehead, and felt the tremors in Josef's hands. Nodding, Sarek said, "That is fair."

Releasing Sarek's hand Josef said, "Go ahead."

Sarek reached for Josef's shoulder.

**A/N:**

Whew! Yep, been imagining that last scene since I started writing this monster. Hope you enjoyed it. If you did…please leave a review, it helps keep me going.


	57. Needs

**Disclaimer: I don't own and I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom -- check out her new story "Once and Future" in my faves.

**The Need**

Sarek was in turmoil. He was angry. He was worried. He was recriminating himself for not sending the Embassy ship to get T'Quill. Most of all he felt shame...

Amanda was trying to stay alert for T'Quill's calls and simultaneously trying to be reassuring for her bond mate. She felt like a switchboard operator. She'd informed T'Quill of Sarek's nerve pinch a few minutes ago as T'Quill's shuttle left its hover point above Des Moines and headed towards the west coast.

"Shush," Amanda said aloud, although Sarek was at Josef's condo and she was at home. "Shush, Sarek, you found him. You couldn't have found him and been arranging for space ship transport. And T'Quill said the nerve pinch will protect him. Shhhh..."

The comm chimed and flashed T'Quill's ID. Amanda hit the button.

"Amanda," said T'Quill, "I am in line for the transporter. I will be in San Francisco in approximately fourteen minutes. Where is the teleportation station nearest Josef's location?"

Amanda gave the name at the station closest to Josef's home -- it was rarely used. As grand as his home was, it was in an area just being developed.

"How will I get to Josef's home from there?" asked T'Quill.

It wasn't an area with ample access to cabs. "I will meet you," said Amanda, formulating a plan.

T'Quill nodded. "I must end this transmission."

As the Vulcan flickered out, Sarek was immediately in her mind. _How will you meet her? I have the hover. Why didn't you tell her to catch a cab? _

Amanda didn't have the time or patience to try and concentrate. She spoke her response out loud. "Cab's aren't reliable in that area, Sarek. I'm going to catch one outside the door now and meet her."

From behind her T'Lana said, "No, take my hover."

Turning, Amanda found herself face to face with T'Lana. The old Vulcan had Sybok on one hip, the access key to her hover in her other hand. As she pressed the key into Amanda's hand, their fingers brushed and Amanda felt a rush of concern. T'Lana had said her husband's human friend had gone through this...

For not the first time in her life, Amanda wanted to kiss the woman. T'Lana looked at the floor. Amanda kissed Sybok's cheek instead and then ran for the door, a soft wail from Sybok following her.

x x x

T'Quill was in Josef's room. After extracting promises that Sarek or Amanda would call her if anything happened, Tirissa the Orion had left.

And now Sarek and Amanda were alone in Josef's sparsely finished living room. Sarek was staring at the floor. He was perhaps as upset as he had been the night Jason had attacked her. Amanda had seen that through the bond, and the memory of Sarek's desire to kill still chilled her. But the distress he felt now was more diffuse; it had no clear target – and that made it worse. Amanda felt like crying for him; but she knew that wasn't what he needed.

"Hey," Amanda said. She went forward and placed her hands on either side of his face in the mind meld position. Through the bond she could they were always connected, but it wasn't as intense as a meld.

Dropping his forehead to hers, Sarek's hands went to either side of Amanda's temple. _My mind to your mind _rang in Amanda's ears and in her mind and she was hit with a wave of gratitude...He needed this so much.

Everything that had happened since T'Pau's first urgent call poured into Amanda's mind in excruciating detail. Amanda felt Sarek's anger when T'Pau was more concerned for appearances than for Josef's health. She saw his surprise at Tirissa's compassion, and his humility -- an Orion showed more morality than his own species. Amanda saw his gratitude and pride in her for her managing the crisis -- getting him the information he needed, and taking the initiative to call T'Quill. She also saw her caring and concern in stark contrast to T'Pau, and T'Zena's family.

Through it all the image of Josef sweating and shaking on the bed kept coming back. And the feeling of shame. Shame for his own species.

Amanda took a deep breath. _Sarek, you are being illogical. _She sent him her fragmented memories of T'Quill's haste to come to San Francisco, of T'Lana handing her the hover access key, and of himself as she imagined him, carrying Josef back home.

_There is so much good in Vulcans..._

The image of Josef came back to her mind again...and Sarek's his anger_. Josef is defenseless, Amanda._

Behind Sarek's anger was something else...a fear...

"That will never be me," she whispered. She knew it.

_Never, Amanda._

She felt relief rush through her. His relief. He just had to be sure she knew.

x x x x

When T'Quill came from Josef's room, her shoulders were slightly slumped, her pace slow. "He will make a full recovery," she said. "And he will not experience echoes, or accidental contact...as his former bond-mate will."

Sarek felt tension lift from both himself and Amanda.

"He is sleeping now. I would like to remain in San Fransisco a day more to make sure...but I doubt I will be needed." The young Vulcan woman sat down on the couch, the one item of furniture in the room. She did so slowly, putting her arm out for support.

Closing her eyes, T'Quill said, "The bonds broken when a new bond-mate has already been found are ... difficult. When the new bond-mate is in his time..." Her frame sagged.

"Will he be alright?" Amanda said, "I mean psychologically. He won't harm himself or anything, will he?"

T'Quill tilted her head. "No. He will not. He is, will be, I suspect very angry...but he will not harm himself or others. He has plans, and a lot to live for. A fascinating being."

"Do you need anything?" Sarek asked. "Food?"

"Food...and rest," said T'Quill.

She looked at the couch. Sarek noticed it wasn't long enough for her frame.

"There is very little food here," said Sarek. Tirissa had already surveyed the kitchen.

"You can come to our house," said Amanda.

"I need to be able to return quickly," T'Quill said.

"I will have the Embassy ship remain on alert for the next twenty four hours," Sarek said. "They can beam you here at any sign of emergency."

"That is acceptable," the woman said. She did not get off the couch. Tilting her head she said, "You have not asked me if he will talk...or if I would advise a memory wipe."

Sarek put his hands behind his back. Keeping all traces of the venom he felt out of his tone, Sarek said, "I would think a memory wipe of such a long time period would cause serious injury."

"It would," T'Quill straightened. There was a human expression--"flashing eyes." T'Quill's eyes did not "flash," and yet Sarek felt something. A heat. For an instant he felt as though he was being measured. And then it was gone. Healers by nature were extremely strong telepaths; few needed touch to read minds. Had she felt Sarek's anger? To touch another mind without permission was unethical, but if she was tired, she might have accidentally -- and if she felt threatened, logic did not forbid defense.

The Vulcan woman slumped a bit. "I would never provide one." She tilted her head again. "It was an observation only."

Amanda held out an arm to T'Quill. She carefully had her elbow bent so that her unexposed forearm was closest to the Vulcan woman. "Do you need some help getting up?"

T'Quill stared at the arm. "Ah...humans." Extending her hand to grasp the proffered arm she said, "Yes. Aid would be helpful."

Just before exiting the condo, T'Quill turned on Amanda's arm. Facing Sarek she said, "He will not talk."

Raising an eyebrow Sarek felt heat rise in his chest.

"I only inform you, because you will be asked," T'Quill said. She turned to Amanda, "Nor will he wish to speak of it."

Sarek felt _comprehension_ from Amanda, and sadness that she couldn't help Josef. And then she guided T'Quill through the doorway of the condo.

Padding back to Josef's room, Sarek sat himself on the floor in lotus position and sent notice to the Embassy ship's captain to remain on alert. He composed a brief update for T'Pau and sent notice to the Embassy that he and Josef would not be in the following day. And then he meditated for two hours and thirteen minutes.

Finishing his meditation, Sarek checked on the still sleeping Josef. Satisfied the human was not in any distress; Sarek sat down in lotus position again. He picked up his comm. The screen was inconveneniently small. It could not be helped. Tapping into the Terran internet, he found the charter for the Northwest Territories. Morning light was washing through the room and he had read the charter almost in its entirety when Josef began to stir.

Sarek tilted his head. If he stood up he would be towering over Josef. Perhaps that would be threatening? He remained on the floor in lotus position.

Josef's eyes fluttered open he turned his head in Sarek's direction and bolted upright.

"Do you require assistance?" asked Sarek.

Josef's body stiffened and relaxed. Rubbing his eyes he said, "No. Damnit, Sarek, for a minute..."

Standing up, Sarek asked, "Are you experiencing any headache, nausea, fever?"

"No," said Josef still rubbing his eyes. "Where are my glasses?"

Looking around the room, Sarek found them on Josef's night stand. He handed them to the human. And then froze in place. What was the Vulcan expression for such situations? There wasn't one precisely. There was the expression for when someone lost their bond-mate due to death.

"Josef," Sarek said, putting his hands behind his back. "I grieve with thee." Sarek looked down. There was more. "And I am sorry," he said.

"Not your fault, Sarek," Josef said.

Sarek didn't look up. It wasn't his fault entirely. But perhaps his choices had helped shape the climate that allowed the unbonding to occur?

"_Sarek, speak to me in Vulcan," _Josef said suddenly in Sarek's native tongue.

Sarek blinked. _ "Is there a topic you would like to discuss?"_

A tight smile formed on Josef's lips._ "No. Wait. Yes, something, anything technical."_

Sarek tilted his head. This sudden curiosity didn't seem to be a likely side effect of a broken bond. _ "The holoscopes require dilithium crystals refined into three dimensional polygons with no less than 3,000 sides. These crystals must be no larger than .25 of a helioneter, that is a Vulcan unit of measurement that is the same as .00067 of a_ millimeter," Sarek said.

_"Too easy,_" said Josef. _"Tap into something Vulcan on your comm. I need to be able to read."_

Sarek didn't know where this was heading, but he pulled up a computer journal and handed the comm to Josef. Josef looked at it, nodded and said,_ "I still can read your language."_

Turning around so he was seated at the edge of his bed he said to Sarek, "I'm going to take a shower."

"I will stay," said Sarek, certain that leaving the human alone was not a good idea.

"Be my guest," said Josef. Without a backward glance he headed towards the master bath.

Sarek walked out of the bedroom. _Amanda...should I do anything?_

_I don't know, Sarek. Maybe just be there?_

That was completely unsatisfactory. Sarek wandered around the condo as the shower hummed in the background. His eyes momentarily fell on the holoscope – Josef technically wasn't supposed to have one of those. It was an insignificant matter. He continued his meandering. In the kitchen he stopped. There was an odd device. He tilted his head and sent the image and a question to Amanda.

_Coffee maker, Sarek._

_Would it be appropriate to make some?_

He felt a warm affirmative from, Amanda...and she also sent him an image of T'Quill, Sybok and T'Lana all at the breakfast table with fresh orange juice. She didn't say, but he felt, that she liked T'Quill.

He did not want to disturb her more, but he sent one last question to her along with a closer view of the coffee maker.

_It looks high tech, Sarek, I don't know...You'll have to find the directions._

The manufacturer of the device helpfully had instructions online. By the time Josef emerged from the back of the condo there was a full pot.

Sarek had always thought that it was a complete waste of neurons that he had picked up how Josef liked his coffee during the course of their association, but now Sarek was pleased his photographic memory had held onto the information. Sarek poured a cup, added precise amounts of sugar and milk, and slid the cup down the counter in the human's direction.

Eyeing the human's attire, Sarek said, "You are dressed for work."

"Yes," said Josef taking the mug of coffee. "And I'm late."

"I told the office we would not be in today," Sarek said.

"I would prefer to go in," said Josef. But he went to the counter that provided the only seating in the kitchen and sat down on a high stool.

Sarek stood by the coffee maker, hands behind his back. He tilted his head.

"You have something to say," said Josef, taking a sip of his coffee.

He did, in fact. But only replied, "It can wait." It was inappropriate to talk about his own personal battles when Josef was just recovering from a broken bond. And the idea was still somewhat unformed. He hadn't even told Amanda.

Josef looked at his cup, "I can still read Vulcans, too. Spit it out, Sarek."

Hadn't Josef challenged him the night before? They had an agreement of sorts. Perhaps Josef would like to know that Sarek was taking his end of that agreement seriously, even if Josef had been invoking hyperbole when the he promised to kill him.

Sarek straightened. "I need..." He paused, he had not mastered the art of inflection, but it was imperative that Josef understand the operative word was need, not want, or wish. "I need...to marry Amanda, and the wedding needs to be...conspicuous."

**A/N:**

Yep. Sarek is now officially off his butt. If you read and enjoyed, please leave a review – it will help me get to (and write) that wedding!


	58. ThePlan

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom. Don't forget to check out her story "Once and Future" in my favorites.

**The Plan**

"I have studied the Northwest Territories Charter," said Sarek. "I am satisfied that the legality of interspecies marriages conducted there will be upheld."

Josef stared at Sarek for 2.25 seconds. Putting down his coffee mug, the human fixed his gaze into the murky liquid.

Sarek thought he saw a tight smile begin to form on the human's face. "_They will strip your mind of all your memories and leave you to roam naked and mad through the desert,_" Josef said in Sarek's native language.

It was the Vulcan equivalent of being tarred and feathered. Thankfully, it was a punishment no longer in practice. It was a joke, Sarek realized. A very dark one. The sentiment, however...

Sarek tilted his head. "Perhaps there will be many who will wish it. But negative publicity generated by hostilities to our union --"

"Plenty of humans will be hostile to it, too," said Josef, meeting Sarek's gaze.

"Certainly," Sarek said. "But human hostilities are not my primary concern. In the regions Amanda and I would travel such hostility would not be of the sort found in the Pashtun Territories."

Josef rubbed his eyes. "That is probably true."

Sarek lifted an eyebrow. "My family is the more immediate threat. I am concerned that my mother, or Amanda if she were in proximity of some of my more conservative relatives, might be psychically bullied. And they may try to take Sybok away. I will not allow it."

Josef turned his mug slowly in his hands. "Not that I'm against it. I would love to see you blow the whole farce wide open." He swallowed. "But would it really help you? No matter how illogical they believe Vulcan-human bondings to be, the council tolerates and acts as a mediator, if only to keep things quiet. If T'Zena and I had come forward --"

Sarek stared at Josef. How much did the human want to know?

"You have something to say, Sarek?"

Sarek took a deep breath. It was necessary to explain his logic on this matter. "They failed to protect you and T'Zena."

Josef's eyes narrowed. His brow furrowed and his jaw tightened. "What are you saying?"

"They knew of your bond," Sarek said. He looked down. "Though I was not privy to their knowledge until just yesterday. They tried to preserve it, but failed."

Josef swallowed. "But how --" He looked down and gripped his mug so firmly his knuckles turned white. "No, never mind...it doesn't make a difference now." He shook his head. "Even if she came back...I couldn't do it again."

Josef stared into his mug. Sarek didn't say a word. Josef's choice was logical. It would be very unhealthy for him to endure such a mental episode again.

Sarek doubted T'Zena would try to return. The pheromones produced by Vulcan males in Pon Farr assured the female was at peak fertility. Without special precautions, pregnancy was unavoidable. Between her new bond, the push of her parents, and likely pregnancy -- T'Zena was not as rebellious as T'Yavi had been.

"And how will marrying Amanda help you protect her, Sybok and your mother, Sarek?" Josef said.

Sarek took a slow breath. "There is one thing that would be worse for my family's reputation that a highly publicized human-Vulcan wedding."

Pulling away from his mug, Josef crossed his arms over his chest. He was quiet for a moment. And then the tight smile had returned to his lips. "A highly publicized human-Vulcan divorce?"

"Precisely," said Sarek. "They will --" He raised an eyebrow. "...behave, if only to avoid further scandal."

Uncrossing his arm, Josef said, "Your plan depends on the press."

Sarek restrained a sigh. "Yes, I think that if we are the first human-Vulcan couple, that will help. But I cannot guarantee we will have that distinction. And would they cover the event, or just note it in a small paragraph at the end of a larger article? Pictures of the three of us would be helpful. I need Earth to know we are a family. I could be wrong, but I believe if anyone tried to take Sybok from me on grounds that Amanda is human, it would cause an intergalactic incident."

Sarek put his hands behind his back and looked down. "I cannot afford a misstep, Josef. The press must be there. I must ensure that somehow."

"You're right," Josef said. "If they tried to take Sybok away there would be an uproar. As for the press, why not just invite them?"

Sarek looked up at the human. "You have T'Zena's press contacts?"

"I know a few names, but you can do better than that," Josef said. "For the next..." He looked down and took a breath. "For the next two weeks you're acting Ambassador. You should have access to all of T'Zena's contacts."

x x x

It had been a long day.

Josef would not be deterred from going into the office. So Sarek accompanied him. Sarek spent the work day recounting events to T'Pau and the council members. T'Quill was correct. The first question he was asked was "will he talk?"

They also asked Sarek about his choice in healers. Why had he chosen to bring T'Quill instead of the healer from the Embassy?

"I thought someone with experience with humans would be a logical choice," Sarek said.

"And how did you know of T'Quill?" T'Pau asked.

"I got her name from T'gali Ahn Mai Milock," said Sarek choosing his words carefully. He was not ready to reveal his intentions towards Amanda just yet. This line of questioning could lead him precariously close.

At Milock's name, several council members straightened in their chairs. Milock's bond had not gone well. Hae-won, his bond-mate, had suffered every negative consequence of a human-Vulcan meld. Milock had turned the fires of Pon Farr on the furniture of Hae-won's home in order to keep himself from inflicting any more damage on her before the healer arrived. Hence the perception by the police that the home had been "robbed." In his temporary madness, Milock wasn't as gentle with the healer who came to his aide; nonetheless, the healer was successful. That healer was T'Quill.

From behind T'Pau were murmurs.

"It was a logical choice," T'Pau said. "Although I am curious, how did you know of Milock?"

Sarek tilted his head. "I came across the Embassy ship's trip while reviewing miscellaneous medical expenses. Later, after our trip to Canada, I learned more about the episode from Mr. Friedmann."

It was the truth, though incomplete. T'Pau tilted her head but said nothing more on the matter. Instead, she changed the subject. "We have decided removing T'Zena's uncle and father from the council is logical in light of their betrayal. Nor will T'Zena be able to return to her post. She put Vulcan's reputation at risk; we must assume she did it out of her own free will unless she testifies otherwise."

Sarek tilted his head. Telepathic coercion was a very serious crime, of course, but when the victim's family was the perpetrator, prosecution was rare.

"We are in the process of determining a suitable replacement. Your novel approach for dealing with our public relations and the holoscope project have put your name on the list."

Sarek nodded his head. The disclosure did not please or displease him. He would marry Amanda and they would dismiss him. The point was moot.

After work Josef bolted for his pub, Sarek in tow, certain someone should monitor his condition. T'Quill wanted to meet with Josef one more time before she left San Francisco. Obviously a pub was not the correct environment, but Sarek couldn't get Josef to see reason and go home.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Josef declared, "She's been in my head once. That's more than enough. I've had a few too many Vulcans in my head lately, thank you."

Fortunately, Tirissa was there and saved the day. "Please, Josef, you're the only human male who finds my brain attractive --"

"Well, if you used your pheromone blockers more regularly, that wouldn't be a problem," Josef said.

The Orion looked at the man, her eyes very moist. Sarek worried they might actually leak.

"I'll worry so much if you don't let her see you again," Tirissa said. "Please?"

Josef relented at what Sarek took to be a very tender display of interspecies friendship. As Tirissa led the human man from the bar, she looked over her shoulder at Sarek, turned her eyes pointedly to Josef, and then made a dramatic eye roll out of Josef's line of vision. It occurred to Sarek that her entreaty might not have been so much tender as calculated. He decided he admired her for that.

After T'Quill gave Josef a clean bill of health and Sarek had seen her to the transporter station, he finally managed to turn his hover to his home.

Sarek had informed Amanda of his desire to get married, of course, insisting that she be silent on the matter for a while. There were a lot of arrangements to be made between contacting the press -- he'd memorized all of their names and contact numbers already--to what he would tell the council. Amanda was thrilled, but she'd been very careful to contain her joy. She understood he couldn't be distracted during his talks to T'Pau or while he was trying to corral Josef into seeing T'Quill one more time.

Now Amanda knew he was alone and the bond was humming. _We're getting married, we're getting married, we're getting married._..

He should have half expected what met him when he walked through the door, but then, Amanda was human and perfectly capable of being swept away by the moment. She probably hadn't expected what she did either.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Amanda leaped at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. "We're getting married!" she said.

Sarek blinked and struggled to maintain his footing. She pelted his face with kisses and then reached around and bit his ear.

He leaned the side she was biting towards her instinctively and dropped his hands to support her. "Amanda, we cannot get married right away. I would like to leave the holoscope project at a good handoff point for the person replacing me. And I will need to tell the council."

Disengaging her teeth from his earlobe she said, "That is okay, I understand. I'm just..." She bit him. "So..." She bit him again. "Happy."

He felt a purr rising in his chest. "I believe it will take about six weeks," Sarek said.

Digging her nails into the sides of his face she turned his head and began to attack the other ear. "Six weeks to wrap everything up and tell the council..." Nibbling up his ear lobe she said, "That isn't so long."

Sarek was purring now, despite the fact they were having a misunderstanding. No matter. When he cleared it up she would be much happier. "No, Amanda. That can be done in four weeks. I mean within six weeks we can be married." ?

The teeth on his ear suddenly stopped their nibbles. "Umm…How many people were you planning on inviting?"

Through the link Sarek felt Amanda inexplicably holding her breath.

"As many, as possible. It needs to be conspicuous," Sarek said pressing his head towards her inviting more ear nibbles. "I am not sure how many of your friends and family you wish to invite. I have 79 press contacts to invite from various regions of Earth. I will invite my mother, her brother despite the fact he will disapprove the union, my father's sister, my 6 cousins and their families, Milock and his family, Nivack and Al-Mazroui, 20 of my former associates from the Vulcan Science Academy, T'Lana of course to watch Sybok, perhaps her husband as well – it is likely many Vulcans invitees will decline so we must endeavor to have every possible Vulcan in the audience. I imagine inviting T'Pau would be –"

"Stop!" said Amanda. "The wedding will have to be in the Northwest Territories, a place we've never been. At the very _least_ we'll have to find a judge who is willing, a venue that has sufficient accommodations nearby for all our guests, and caterers who can handle vegan meal requirements. Since we're making this a public event we'll probably also need musicians and florists. Both of us are fully employed…oh, nebulas, the press will be watching us the whole time... And you are planning to get this done in six weeks?"

The link buzzed with disbelief. And yet, not the accompanying joy Sarek had anticipated.

Pulling her head back Amanda grabbed his face in both hands. "Are you out of your mind?"

**A/N:**

So Notes and I both had small weddings. 10 guests each. Notes only spent a week on her wedding plans. Mine took a little longer, because I wanted to get married in February (I wanted snow – and got some!) But I think since this will be a "conspicuous" event a little bit more planning will be involved.

Of course, I have no idea how much. Readers can you help us out? How long do you think it will take to plan this shindig?

If you enjoyed and were entertained, please leave a review – it's the only way Notes and I get paid!


	59. Resignation

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't profit from them**

**Special thanks to beta Notes From the Classroom. Check out her latest "Once and Future" for Spock/Nyota goodness.**

**Resignation**

Sarek blinked at his screen. The first application for a license to use holoscope technology had just arrived. He scanned through the document. It was submitted by Holosuite, LLC; apparently it was a start up from the local area. He forwarded the application to the embassy lawyer and checked his internal clock. It was 1800. Josef would still be in the office.

Apparently, getting married was going to take more time than Sarek anticipated. Besides the venue, judge, caterers, musicians and florists, there were other conventions. Sarek wanted to follow every convention 'to a T' as the humans said. He wanted any human watching the news vid to instantly recognize the event as a wedding, even if their sound was on mute.

And he wanted any Vulcan watching to recognize the joining, too. Vulcan weddings were simple affairs. They normally happened at the onset of Pon Farr, so it was logical to keep the proceedings as fast and simple as possible. But there was one element of the Vulcan wedding that would make the nature of the event obvious to any Vulcan watching, even with all the human pomp.

That Vulcan part would be easy. Now he had the human conventions to work out. Turning to his comm, he began to enter Josef's extension.

"Sarek, may I come in for a moment?"

Looking up Sarek found himself facing his CFO. "Of course," said Sarek.

Pushing up his glasses, Josef stepped into the room. "Mind if I close the door?"

Sarek actually was about to suggest it. Two coincidences. "Door close," Sarek said. He blinked. "I was just about to call."

"Oh?" said Josef.

"Please sit down," said Sarek, motioning at the empty chair across from him.

Pushing up his glasses again, Josef sat down. By now, Sarek realized Josef pushed up his glasses for one of two reasons. Josef's glasses were either falling off his nose, or he was agitated. Sarek suspected the latter now.

Sarek was also agitated. "I have a personal query, Josef."

Straightening, Josef said, "I see."

"It has come to my attention," Sarek said, "that in human weddings it is customary for the groom to have a best man. Considering..." Sarek tilted his head. Josef was as close to a human friend as Sarek had -- excluding Amanda, of course. This might be the time to mention that, or maybe a direct statement would be too bold? Sarek compromised. "...considering your association with Amanda and me, your knowledge of Vulcan and human cultures, you are the obvious choice."

Josef blinked. "I'd be honored."

Sarek let out a pleased breath.

Pushing up his glasses, Josef said, "There is something I need to speak with you about."

"By all means," said Sarek, suddenly feeling as relaxed as if he'd finished an hour and a half of meditation.

"I wish to resign," Josef said.

Sarek blinked. His hands clenched in his lap. The council would not be pleased. "Is this a matter of remuneration? I am certain the council will authorize any additional --"

"It is not a matter of remuneration," Josef said.

"I see," said Sarek. Perhaps it was a matter of prestige? Perhaps he wished to work for the Federation itself; it was a step up from working merely for Vulcan. "Are you taking up Earth's Federation ambassador on her offer? It may be that you would be a good fit for one of Vulcan's Federation assignments."

"No," Josef said, "I'm not taking her up on her offer. I just..." He crossed his arms over his chest. "There are a few projects I've been working on...I want to pursue them full-time."

Sarek tilted his head, but Josef did not explain further.

"If the council is worried," Josef said with a tight smile, "you can assure them that I have no intention of revealing any information they might find...uncomfortable." He looked down. "Also, if this makes me _persona non grata_, I do understand if you withdraw your offer for me to be your best man."

Sarek raised an eyebrow. "My invitation still stands. Within three weeks time I will also be persona non grata." He had wanted to divulge his plans to marry Amanda sooner, but tying up loose ends was taking longer than he expected.

Josef uncrossed his arms. "When is the wedding?"

"Approximately six months and three weeks from now," Sarek said. Amanda insisted that no less than six months after his formal declaration to the council was sensible.

"Hmmm...that long," said Josef. Another tight smile formed on his lips. Tapping a finger on the arm of his chair, Josef said, "I guess I might forego the traditional bachelor party?"

"Yes," said Sarek raising an eyebrow.

"That's a shame. Tirissa would really love the opportunity to show her appreciation --"

"No," said Sarek.

x x x

Sarek stood before the wide vid screen in what used to be T'Zena's office. From the screen the even gazes of the council members watched him. He kept his hands behind his back and his breathing steady.

"...as we suspected, T'Zena will not press charges," T'Pau said.

Sarek nodded.

"That concludes the items on the agenda for this meeting," the elder said. "Sarek, do you have anything else to report?"

"I do," Sarek said.

"Speak your peace," said T'Pau.

Sarek bowed, then lifted his eyes. "I wish to inform the council that I have bonded with Ms. Amanda Grayson."

Murmurs went up from the council members. T'Pau visibly straightened.

"In addition," Sarek said, "in six months time we will be married in Earth's Canadian Northwest Territories."

Several of the Vulcan councilors dropped their PADDS. A few others leaned forward in their seats. Over the murmurs came exclamations. T'Pau tilted her head. Sarek noticed that some of the other Vulcans, if shocked, were showing admirable control.

Sarek's uncle stood up, "Are you asking us for permission?"

"No, Council member," Sarek replied. He took a breath. It was essential his next words were understood. "I am informing you."

There were more murmurs.

Sarek took another deep breath. "It is my wish to give you a chance to prepare a statement before I send out announcements to the Terran press."

"Dismiss him at once," said one of the Council women.

T'Pau shot a glance at her.

Another Council member stood up--T'Lan, a woman perhaps one hundred years older than Sarek. She was a historian and xenolinguist who had worked at Oxford for many years. "I wish to question Sarek," T'Lan said.

"Proceed," said T'Pau.

Sarek's hands clenched more tightly behind him.

"Sarek, I am curious," T'Lan said. "Have you found that your bond to a human has increased your understanding of their species and aided you in your diplomatic endeavors?"

Sarek heard members of the council shifting in their seats. Perhaps they were as confused about the direction of this line of questioning as Sarek was.

He blinked. "Yes. It was Ms. Grayson's insight that led me to propose the public relations initiatives. Also, it was her fascination with the holoscope that made me realize its comparative value to humans."

"Fascinating," said T'Lan. She nodded her head at Sarek. Sarek tried to maintain his composure. He wasn't being unanimously condemned. He had been fully prepared to accept his immediate dismissal.

"I see no purpose behind this line of inquiry," said another Council member. "This is the reason why so many of us resisted condoning Vulcan-Human bondings."

An elderly Vulcan man stood up. "That is a _non sequitur_. This event could have occurred whether or not we condoned previous bondings." The elderly Vulcan tilted his head. "I find this line of inquiry...fascinating."

Sarek forced his breathing to remain regular. Through the Council he still heard murmurs of disapproval.

"The only thing that matters is that his behavior is illogical," said Sarek's uncle.

Sarek's jaw tensed. "On the contrary, Council member, my behavior was very logical." Sarek took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes. "All of you know the circumstances of my appointment on Earth."

"There is no need to discuss that," said T'Pau at last leaping into the fray.

"There is need," Sarek said. "I am a former bond-mate of a V'tosh ka'tur." Murmurs went up again; even to mention the renegade sect was in poor taste. "I am also the father of a bastard child. A child, who was, until recently, emotionally unstable due to the neglect of his mother. My prospects of finding a Vulcan bond-mate who would be a suitable companion for me, and a suitable mother for my son, were slim."

"But with your success as a diplomat you could have overcome that...regrettable...circumstance," said Sarek's uncle.

"Perhaps, my fellow Council member," said the elderly Vulcan man, "your emotional response is overriding your auditory apparatus. Sarek has already informed us that his success as a diplomat is due to his association with Ms. Grayson."

Another Vulcan man stood up, "This bonding was not a matter of immediate life or death, and it is illogical to presume that a human woman can raise a Vulcan child to be logical." There were a few murmurs of agreement. But a few heads tilted, too. A Vulcan male, perhaps only sixty years older than Sarek, stood up. His name was Verack; he was unusually tall and slender. He was what Sybok would look like if he remained on Earth and grew under the gentler pull of Earth's gravity. Verack had been raised on Earth, too; his mother was the Consulate General of Moscow.

"That is another fallacy of logic," said the tall Vulcan. "My father died when I was no more than three. Much of my day-to-day care was at the hands of my mother's human maid, and our human groundskeeper. I interacted extensively with their grandchildren. And yet, I challenge anyone to say that I am not a true follower of Surak."

Murmurs went up through the Council. Verack's reputation for logic was indisputable.

Another much older Vulcan stood up. "Sarek, I am curious; you have extensive experience with humans; what statement would you recommend we prepare for the human press?"

Sarek had considered this question at length, although he never expected to be asked for his opinion. "I would recommend you wish that we live long and prosper."

Several Council members let out exclamations of disbelief. Sarek heard someone say, "Not even all humans believe interspecies unions are logical."

T'Lan stood again. "I have lived on Earth many years. I believe Sarek's recommendation to be sound. To do anything else might be taken as a slight against the human member of the union by a majority of the populace." There were several murmurs of approval from around the assembly.

Sarek kept his eyes focused straight ahead.

"Nonetheless, he should be dismissed, immediately," said another Council member.

"Why?" said another elderly Council member rising shakily to his feet. "Sarek has shown a talent for diplomacy, whatever his...inspiration. This...circumstance...could provide our people with a useful diplomatic tool."

T'Pau rose again. "We must deliberate on this. Sarek, you are suspended until further notice."

Sarek bowed. He heard more murmurs from the Council, and then the screen flickered to black. Sarek tilted his head and blinked at the ground.

He reached out across the bond. He felt Amanda's tension. _What happened, Sarek?_

_Amanda, I do not know._

**A/N:**  
Hey, they're Vulcans. They can be very logical.

T'Lan is BAMF. She is actually in Descartes (Chapter 24). She is disturbingly logical. And I suspect she knew exactly where her line of questioning would lead. Also, in Descartes I theorize that older Vulcans are more "mellow", hence most of Sarek's 'supporters' (well, at least not public detractors) are much older Vulcans.

If you read and enjoyed, please leave a review. It's the only way Notes and I get paid.


	60. Schemes

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to Beta Notes from The Classroom. Check out her newest story "Once and Future" in my faves.

**Schemes**

It was 0600. Sarek and Sybok were awake in the other room. Amanda was in front of the computer monitor. Typing "Vulcan Human marriages," she hit return and gazed down at her ring finger. Sarek had given her an engagement ring yesterday. The diamond seemed to glow in the morning's low light.

Amanda looked up at the results of her search. A few weeks ago there would have been no more than four results in dubious chat rooms. Now there was half a page of links from news agencies around the world.

Clicking on the first result, Amanda found herself in the midst of a video news segment on SNN.

_"...and an interesting development in the interspecies marriage front," _said a female announcer._ "Last night acting Vulcan Ambassador Sarek announced that he was planning to marry a Ms. Amanda Grayson, a teacher and curriculum author based here in San Francisco. The wedding is planned for September 29 in the Northwest Territories.  
_  
_"The Supreme Court has not yet heard the case pertaining to the Northwest Territories Charter; however Mr. Sarek is convinced that when they do the Northwest Territory law will be upheld."  
_  
Her male co-anchor spoke towards the camera, _"Well, there you go; Judge Roberts, if you rule against the law, you're obviously illogical."_

The female anchor gave her fellow anchor a tight smile. _"What is interesting about this case is that it is, as far as we know, the first ever openly acknowledged Vulcan Human couple. Not much is known about Vulcan unions. We do know a little bit about Mr. Sarek, however. We go to our correspondent Todd Young in San Francisco for more."  
_  
An inset flickered to life and Amanda found herself facing a man in front of the Vulcan Embassy_. "Thank you, Barbara. Mr. Sarek is only the _acting_ Vulcan ambassador. He took over for the popular T'Zena lately; she apparently recently married. From what we can gather from her family, she is pregnant and there have been complications."  
_  
Amanda blinked. That was the first time she'd heard of T'Zena. Sarek was of the opinion that there was a 90% chance that she would be pregnant after her new bond-mate's Pon Farr. Were there really complications? Amanda's brow furrowed.

_"Mr. Sarek was the Junior Ambassador; he stepped in to take her place. As far as we know, Vulcan is still looking for someone to permanently fill the ambassadorship."_

_"Todd,"_ asked Barbara, _"Do we know if Mr. Sarek is being considered for the position?"  
_  
"_No, we don't,"_ said Todd. _"We do have an official statement from Vulcan, however. They wish that Mr. Sarek and Ms. Grayson live long and prosper."  
_  
_"Thank you, Todd,"_ said the male anchor. _"And now we turn to local business --"  
_  
Amanda flicked back to the list of search results. Scanning the list she saw a few statements from some extreme religious leaders, and human exceptionalism groups that looked unfriendly. She decided she didn't want to bother with the fringes. Seeing a result from Tokyo she clicked.

_"…what makes this really surprising is that a Vulcan would be able to logically justify a union that cannot produce offspring,"_ said a petite female anchor.

_"Masako,"_ said a male cohost, _"Under normal circumstances you'd be correct. But we've just uncovered some interesting information on Mr. Sarek. Apparently his first partner became a V'tosh ka'tur after their union."  
_  
Amanda's heart fell for Sarek. He would hate this knowledge to be known all over the galaxy.

_"The V'tosh ka'tur are a sect of Vulcans that do not follow logic,"_ the announcer continued. _"To have a V'tosh ka'tur in the family is a mark of shame in Vulcan culture and would certainly make it difficult to find a Vulcan partner."  
_  
_"That is a fascinating insight into Vulcan culture, Hiroshi. Mr. Sarek is also a father, is he not? And Ms. Grayson is a teacher?"_

_"Yes. After his first partner's death Mr. Sarek assumed full custody of their son. And Ms. Grayson is a teacher. She works at an innercity school. It should be noted that the school is described as having a lot of children that are 'at risk'."  
_  
_"Ahhh...so desu,"_ said the Masako apparently slipping into her regional language. _"Perhaps such a teacher would be a very logical partner for a grieving child?"  
_  
Hero bowed his head. _"So desu, ne."_

The bottom of Amanda's screen began to flash. There was an incoming message from Vulcan. What was there to hide now? She clicked to accept it and found herself face to face with T'Pau.

Amanda felt a rush of protectiveness well up in her. Her jaw tightened.

"Is Sarek available?" the elder said, her countenance completely unreadable.

Becoming emotional would get Sarek nowhere. "I will see," Amanda said in her most even tones.

x x x x

Sarek had been at the Embassy for thirty minutes already when Amanda showed up at her own work place. T'Pau and the Council had decided that it was in the best interest of Vulcan for Sarek to stay on as the acting ambassador until a permanent ambassador was found. ...The reaction of the Vulcans in the embassy was predictable : There was none.

Sarek did not know if he was still on the list of possible candidates. He was too shocked by the brevity of his suspension to ask. Now he sat at his desk, discussing locations for a holoscope plant in Africa. The reaction of the Vulcans in the embassy was predictable. There was none. Some of the human readers cast curious glances in his direction, but that was all.

Amanda wasn't sure what the reaction of her coworkers would be. Sarek found the unpredictability of humans part of what made them interesting, but at this moment Amanda wished her species was a little more predictable. Straightening her shoulders she approached the staff room, and stopped short.

Inside she heard the voice of Judy, the music teacher had always cast disapproving looks in her direction when the subject of her 'association' with Sarek was discussed. "So you have no opinion of a human marrying a Vulcan."

"Not unless I'm the human." It was Ted. He wasn't one of Amanda's closer confidants. For some reason she found his bored, uninterested tone quite refreshing.

Amanda heard a sigh of exasperation from Judy. "But really --"

That was enough. Hiding and eavesdropping wasn't going to solve anything. Amanda walked into the staff room and cast her widest smile in the music teacher's direction. "Good morning, Judy." It really wasn't much different than maintaining a poker face for T'Pau's benefit.

"Oh...good morning," said Judy, her shoulders slumping. She looked at Amanda for a moment, turned her eyes away and said, "You'll have to excuse me, I have a lesson to plan."

Amanda smiled again and nodded. After the music teacher was gone Amanda poured herself a cup of tea and sat down at the staff room table across from Ted. His head was bent over his PADD. Undoubtedly, reading the news. Without looking up he said, "Nice rock, Amanda."

Lifting her mug Amanda flexed her left hand and felt the unfamiliar ridge of the ring. Her first real smile of the morning came to her lips. "Thanks, Ted."

Ted did not look up. "Umpf" was all he said.

x x x x

It was a misty, gray March Saturday and Amanda was taking a long the long way home. She needed to clear her head. Why had she said it would only take six months to plan a wedding? Because that was a normal amount of time, a generous amount of time really, if one was planning a normal wedding. If one was marrying an alien, in the Northwest Territories of Canada and the wedding wasn't so much a union of souls as a diplomatic event, it was complicated.

They were getting married in Yellowknife, the largest 'city' in the Northwest Territories. Amanda was sure that she normally wouldn't call a place of human habitation that only harbored 18,000 people a 'city'. Compared to her hometown, Chicago or even San Francisco, 18,000 people was practically a village.

Finding a venue was problematic. Most of the buildings were very functional but not particularly attractive -- that happened when the average temperature in January hovered between -22 and -30 C. They had discovered the 'Prince of Whales Northern Heritage Centre', an interesting piece of pre-Mistake architecture that would hopefully give lovely panoramic views of the Northern lights. They'd even convinced the Centre's director to let them have the wedding there...the problem now was the caterers. Although Sarek indulged in cheese produced by certified humanely raised cattle, most Vulcans were completely vegan. When they had discussed their dietary requirements with various local establishments that offered catering, the response had been blank stares.

Amanda huffed out a breath. Really, it was completely _logical_ that people who lived in a region with a growing season of 100 days on a good year be omnivorous. The vegan diet was not logical in _all_ climates.

Now they were facing the prospect of importing vegan food all the way from San Francisco...and Amanda feared in the process they would be offending the good people of Yellowknife who really were doing their best to make the wedding a success. The provincial government even applied for permission to let guests beam directly into and out of the heritage centre so sensitive Vulcan ears wouldn't be exposed to September's frigid 10 to -3 C temperatures.

Shaking her head, Amanda turned off of Arguella Boulevard and onto Lake Street.

As if -3 C was cold. No self-respecting Chicagoan --

She stopped short. A familiar form was approaching her head down, a Kippah on his head, an unopened umbrella in one hand. Amanda blinked. It was Saturday, and she was passing the Emmanu-El Temple.

"Josef," she said.

Raising his head quickly, Josef pushed his glasses up his nose.

Although Sarek had seen Josef recently, Amanda hadn't seen him since the unbonding. He was thinner than she remembered and he could have used a haircut.

"Amanda." He blinked. "What a surprise. What are you doing here?"

Amanda paused her steps and rolled her eyes. "Taking a walk and a break from wedding madness."

Josef chuckled. "I have heard a bit about that."

Amanda eyes went to the temple and back to the Kippah. Without even thinking she said, "I didn't know you were practicing."

Josef blinked. "I wasn't...before." He looked down. "Now I am." He looked up at her. "It fills an empty place in my head, you know." Looking down again he said, "I cannot explain it."

Swallowing, Amanda changed the subject. "I haven't seen you in so long. How are those projects going?" And then she mentally recriminated herself. Maybe Josef's rekindled faith was "those projects"? He was obviously uncomfortable talking too much about it...

To her surprise Josef actually smiled. A wicked mischievous smile. "Oh, those are going fine."

Amanda raised an eyebrow. So faith was another matter entirely. "Are Sarek and I ever going to learn what your 'mystery projects' are?"

"Definitely," Josef said, the smile still firmly in place.

"Well?" said Amanda.

"But not now," Josef said with a slight bow.

Narrowing her eyes at him, Amanda said, "Are you scheming something, Josef Friedman?"

He winked at her. "Always."

**A/N:**

A lot of people talked about package weddings, I'm sure it will be a small but significant industry in the NW Territories in the near future. But this is just the beginning of that industry. These weddings are not even officially recognized out of the NW territories yet, although Sarek, Amanda and Josef are convinced if the law is upheld they will be.

If you read and enjoyed, please review! **  
**


	61. Ceremony

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom. Check out her story "Once and Future" if you haven't already!

**Ceremony**

It was morning the day of the wedding and Amanda was walking with her mother through the meeting room where the ceremony and reception would be held. The room had been very Spartan, and not in a fashionable way. But now -

"It is amazing what drape cloths and flowers can do for a place," Amanda's mother said.

Amanda was exhausted. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in days. Still she managed to smile. "I was just thinking the same thing."

"It's still cold in here," said Amanda's mother with a frown. "And I'm human. I'm going to go find maintenance." She turned to Amanda. "I'll meet you back in the dressing room with Carrie and Margaritte in a few minutes. I'm sure they'll have fixed that spot in the hem by then."

Reaching up to Amanda's face, she touched a spot beneath Amanda's eyes. "You haven't been sleeping." She shook her head. "I didn't sleep a wink the night before I married your father. Don't worry, that's what concealer is for."

And then she was off. Amanda watched her mother go. Amanda was sure her mother still wasn't precisely thrilled by Sarek. But she had been more than willing to lend a hand in putting the wedding together. Amanda had needed the help. Sarek had been performing his former duties along with T'Zena's for the past six months.

A tall thin figure walking down the outside aisle readjusting the chairs caught her eye.

"Josef?"

Josef looked up. "I'm not supposed to see you. Close your eyes."

Walking towards him, Amanda said, "That's Sarek." She took a deep breath. His hair looked like it had recently been cut but it was askew. "Josef, what's happened to you? You looked like you rolled off the wrong side of the bed."

He reached up behind his neck. "Actually, I rolled off the couch at work."

Amanda sighed. His tuxedo was fine, but one collar of his shirt was up, the other down, and the flat tie at his neck was buttoned wrong. Reaching up she readjusted his collar. "Where are you working that you can't go home to sleep?"

"I sold my condo; I thought you knew that."

Amanda blinked up at him. "No, I didn't know that." She looked at his eyes. The glasses didn't conceal the dark circles there. "Are you sleeping at all, Josef? You look like you've had less sleep than me. And are you eating? You've lost so much weight. You know my bridesmaids have snacks -"

She began readjusting the snaps on his flat tie.

Josef gently pushed away her wrists. "Has anyone ever told you you'd make a great Jewish mother?"

Amanda rolled her eyes and let out a huff.

A voice came from behind Josef. "Josef, there you are."

Amanda dropped her hands to see Tirissa coming down the aisle carrying a comb.

Amanda tilted her head. "Tirissa, you look -"

The Orion raised an eyebrow. "Demure? Classy?"

"I was going to say great," Amanda said. "But...those adjectives work." It was true. Tirissa wore a light blue dress that somehow was just the right shade next to her dark green skin. The dress went below the knee and, while fitted, it wasn't too tight. She wore heels that were high, but not too high. Her top half was covered by a dark navy pashmina. And her hair was drawn up and back from her face in a classical style. She looked like a beautiful, exotic blue and green flower.

Smiling Tirissa walked up to stand beside Josef. "The market for G-rated material is actually much larger than -ooof."

"Fix my hair," said Josef quickly withdrawing a hand from Tirissa's back.

Blinking, the Orion said, "Right. Don't worry, Amanda, I'll take care of him."

Amanda turned to go, too tired to decipher what just happened. Nodding, Amanda turned to go down the aisle and nearly crashed into two strange men she had never seen before. "Excuse us," said one with a heavy accent.

"Josef, Tirissa, _dort sind sie," _said the other.

Amanda tilted her head. They seemed to be carrying some video equipment. "Are you the videographers?"

"No," said the first.

The other blinked. _"Wir sind Computerprogrammierer."_

"Ahhhh...Elias and Isac, you made it," said Josef. He then proceeded to speak very quickly in another language Amanda presumed was German.

Tirissa smiled at her and led her by the arm from the main hall. "It's just the Morgenstern boys. Old friends of Josef. Don't worry about a thing. It's going to be a great gift." She winked at Amanda.

Amanda's mouth fell just a little bit. From the distance she heard Carrie's voice. "There you are. Sarek's coming, he can't see you."

Amanda looked up to see Carrie and Margarite walking quickly towards her.

"And we still have to dress you and do your makeup!" said Margarite dragging her by the arm.

x x x x

Flashing lights went off in front of Amanda's eyes. Temporarily blinded from the lights she gripped her father's arm. She was so exhausted from the past few days...and the lights were just the last straw. She felt like she might fall over. The press had arrived.

"Ms. Grayson, are you happy?"

What? Amanda blinked.

"Amanda, are you in love?"

They were asking her this on her wedding day? What inane questions. She was so glad she and Sarek had turned down those talk show invitations.

Taking a deep breath, Amanda reminded herself that at least these questions weren't hostile. There had been some less than pleasant things said about her in the past few months by certain fundamentalist groups. Trying to smile as sincerely as possible, Amanda said, "Of course."

They made it through the gauntlet of reporters and her father whispered through clenched teeth. "Dumb questions."

Amanda laughed and was promptly pelted in the face with...rose petals. What? She looked down. Sophie, the flower girl obviously hadn't really understood the directions. She was throwing flowers directly at Amanda. More petals were hurled at Amanda from the other side of the aisle. Casting her gaze to the side she saw Sybok, dressed in a Vulcan tunic and pants. Apparently he was trying to help his little friend out. Amanda heard, but did not see, Noelle, Sophie's mother and T'Lana running to grab the children. Through the crowd were little gasps of awwww...

Amanda plucked a rose petal from her mouth - she hadn't worn a veil; and she and her father started down the aisle again.

Soft Vulcan music was playing. Looking up and she saw Sarek. He was wearing an ornate Vulcan tunic with emblems of his family embroidered into it over loose Vulcan trousers. He was wondering if she was alright...

Which was so funny because she'd only been hit with rose petals. They weren't exactly weapons. Fighting to contain her laughter Amanda climbed the steps of the dais they had erected at the northern end of the hall. It was customary in Vulcan marriages for the bride and groom to face each other, so after leading her up the steps her father slipped away.

Amanda looked at Sarek. He looked at her. And suddenly everything else melted away. Amanda found herself again on the verge of laughter.

_Amanda, please do not laugh,_ Sarek whispered into her mind. Even as he said it she could feel how the mirth bubbling inside of her was starting to affect him, making him feel slightly tipsy.

_I can't help it,_ Amanda thought back biting her lower lip. _I'm just so happy._

It was true. The press, the past six months of frantic scrambling, the occasional dirty looks or nasty emails, the questions from friends, family, and complete strangers, the lack of sleep...it all was gone. It was just her. Him. This moment. As it would always be. And she was overwhelmed. It was right. They fit. They belonged. And it made her laugh, but very softly.

_That is_...Sarek blinked..._very acceptable._

The Northwest Territory judge droned. Amanda managed, miraculously, not to trip over her vows. She had to bite her lips and look down at the floor a few times as the happiness she felt almost bubbled over. Sarek's vows came out flat and assured, but she knew he was struggling too. For a moment she thought she saw him smile, but then she realized it was just her sleep addled mind assigning visual displays to the happiness he was feeling inside.

An elderly Vulcan stepped forward. It was Sarek's great uncle. He said a few words in Vulcan that thankfully didn't require any response.

The judge stepped forward again. "You may now kiss the bride."

There were murmurs of anticipation from the crowd.

But Amanda and Sarek weren't planning a human kiss. The next gesture was for benefit of all the Vulcans watching from afar. Sarek put his hands up, palms out. Amanda met them with her own. She felt the familiar dry heat. The physical contact strengthened the bond between them and she could feel the electricity of her barely suppressed laughter igniting in his palms. She felt him barely suppress a purr. It was too much; she laughed a little and couldn't at all restrain the wide smile on her face. Sarek pressed his forehead to hers and their guests started clappingand cheering...which was just as well. If they hadn't made so much noise they definitely would have heard the soft rumble from Sarek's chest.

**A/N:**  
Some people really expected violence before the wedding. I think if they had it in the Paston Territories...maybe. But they live in San Francisco. Also, they are NOT the first human alien couple. Just the first Vulcan Human couple. I don't see any bricks flying through their windows, just some nasty comments, and emails.

The Vulcans weren't going to do anything violent, and Sarek has essentially blocked his family. If they tried to stop the wedding - or harm his future marriage and succeeded they'll be 'poorer' status wise than they are now. Sarek is still acting Ambassador at this point - better an acting Ambassador married to a human than a Vulcan who raised a lot of publicity for a wedding that he then called off. (That would be so illogical!)


	62. The Gift

**Disclaimer: I don't own. I don't profit.**

Special thanks to beta Notes from the Classroom. Her new story "Once and Future" is getting more and more exciting. Check it out – it's in my faves.

**The Gift**

The photo session, after the beauty and simplicity of the ceremony, was trying for Sarek. He saw the logic in the Vulcan tradition of letting the couple go their own way after their vows. Certainly he had been ready to have some privacy. But this wasn't a wedding so much as a diplomatic event.

Sarek and Amanda endured inappropriate questions from the reporters who were invited to attend. Did their agencies not provide cultural briefings? Did they not know how rude it was to ask a Vulcan a question like, "When did you fall in love?"

Sarek attempted to turn the question around by saying, "I..._met_...Ms. Grayson at precisely 1100 two years three months and four days ago."

Amanda followed his comment with, "It wasn't love at first sight." Which was true, but made a few of the reporters chuckle. Amanda's point, Sarek supposed.

They answered a few more similar questions that way-Sarek saying something factual, Amanda smiling and adding something that seemed to please the reporters, even though she was getting as annoyed as he was.

In the end they had a real victory. The reporters asked for a picture of the two of them with Sybok perched between them in Sarek's arms, his fingers outstretched to Amanda. One of the reporters said, "That's the winning shot for our article." At that moment Sarek knew that if anyone in his family tried to take custody it would become an intergalactic incident. If he could, he might have smiled.

After the photos were finished, Sarek and Amanda had a brief, unsatisfactory half hour in the galleries of the Centre. They saw everyone, and to Sarek it seemed they said nothing. But the humans seemed to be enjoying themselves and the Vulcans were intrigued by the early 20th century photographs of 'native' Americans from the Centre's collection.

And then they were all called back into the main room for dinner. Sarek's jaw clenched. Amanda was at his side a moment later. "Don't worry; I'm sure he'll be discreet," but he felt that she was slightly uncertain herself.

x x x x

"...and of course I have to thank Mr. and especially Mrs. Grayson, for their help in putting this wedding together."

Sarek heard some subdued applause from the guests. So far, Josef's speech had consisted entirely of thank you's to the various wedding party members. Why had he refused revealing exactly what he was going to say?

Standing in an open space between the tables, Josef said, "Now, this is the part of my speech when I tell humorous personal anecdotes about the groom and his bride."

Sarek stiffened. Josef would have no paucity of material. There was his and Amanda's awkward first meeting. There was the dance instructor -

"However, if any of you have ever tried to pry personal anecdotes from Vulcans, you'll know that isn't going to happen."

There was some laughter from the crowd.

"See," said Amanda, squeezing his arm. "You're safe."

"Since I can't _tell _you much about Sarek, I thought I'd show you."

Sarek stiffened. Amanda took a breath.

"Tirissa," said Josef.

The Orion woman slid something across the floor in Josef's direction. Sarek couldn't see what the object was because a heartbeat later in its place was a Vulcan boy, no more than seven, in a very basic Suus Mahn routine. The little boy stopped by Josef and bowed to the crowd. Then he stood there waiting.

"Sarek," said Amanda her voice high enough to be heard through the room. "It's you!"

Sarek saw the light of flashes from several of the presses' cameras. There were exclamations of wonder from both sets of guests. Sarek blinked.

"It is Sarek," said Josef. "Ladies and gentlemen, with the new holo devices you may have heard of, the generous assistance of Sarek's and Amanda's mothers in digging up standard two dimensional video and photos, and the help of some of my friends," Josef pointed to Tirissa and two men Sarek had never seen before, "I've managed to put together this presentation. I now give you Sarek...and Amanda."

A little girl in a human ballet dress appeared next to the image of Sarek's younger self and curtseyed.

Sarek's brow furrowed. The two children looked about the same age. But when he was seven Amanda would not yet even have been conceived.

"To the Vulcans in the audience I apologize for warping the time line," Josef said.

x x x

Amanda sat transfixed. Even though she'd seen Sarek's life through the bond, this was...not better, but special. She got to see him from without, not from within. She knew that Vulcans didn't take personal photos or videos as a general rule. Why take personal photos when your memory was photographic? Josef had pieced together Sarek's life from public records. The Suus Mahn demonstration was from a tournament he had been in as a child.

The final holo image was of Sarek and Amanda palm to palm, forehead to forehead. There were collective sighs from Amanda's fellow humans. From the Vulcans Amanda heard, "Fascinating." Everyone clapped as the presentation ended.

Amanda sat back in her seat. Josef had managed to produce the last three dimensional hologram - presumably from a two dimensional image-in less than an hour.

The caterers began bringing out the first course, vegan dishes prepared by a local caterer using imported ingredients. One of the reporters hopped up from his chair and whispered something in Josef's ear. Amanda heard the best man say, "We're calling it Holoshop. Our company's name is Holosuite. This isn't the best time to discuss this, but we will be at the upcoming digital imaging expo in Tokyo..."

Amanda narrowed her eyes but couldn't keep from smiling. Scheming indeed. He'd just launched his new product at an intergalactic event.

x x x

The lights in the hall were dim. The music of the band swelled - it was ballroom, of course. Modern music was a little much for Vulcan sensibilities, even if the Vulcans weren't dancing. She'd warned all of the guests to brush up on their ballroom dancing skills before the wedding and now the floor was crowded with humans. One green and blue figure glided between them. To the side stood T'Quill gazing at the humans and single Orion head tilted.

Amanda reached through the bond - and found Sarek in the galleries giving tours of the collections to curious Vulcan and human guests. He'd studied the Centre's collections extensively for just that purpose. She'd done the rounds with Sarek earlier. They'd greeted and thanked all of their guests - her family and friends had all come to the wedding. Besides Sarek's mother and great uncle, a few of his cousins had come, even one who was the son of the councilmember who had been so hostile to human Vulcan bondings. Amanda wanted to know if he'd come at his father's bequest, or on his own accord, but it wasn't the time to ask.

Milock, Hae-Won and their children had come. Professor Nivack and Doctor Al-Mazroui had come, too. It had shocked Al-Mazroui to see so many of Amanda's family and friends. In her bond with Nivack it was the Vulcans who were welcoming.

Amanda looked up. In the great northern window that stretched to the ceiling at the far end of the hall the sky was afire with aurora borealis.

"There you are," said a familiar voice behind her.

Amanda turned her head. Josef stood beside her.

Narrowing her eyes she said, "Did you run out of business cards?"

"No," said Josef. "Would you like one?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. He'd been giving them out all evening.

"Oh, come on," Josef said. "I told everyone that this was hardly the place to conduct business, gave them my card and sent them on their way. It's not like I was giving them demonstrations or anything. Besides, it was a great gift."

"Yes, it was." Amanda sighed. "The final holo, of Sarek and me at the altar...you put it together so quickly. Is Holoshop really so easy to use?"

Josef winced. "It better be by the time of the Tokyo Expo."

Amanda winced with him. "Your condo?"

"I sold it to fund Holosuite. It was really Elias and Isac's baby. I was just translating the Vulcan documentation at first...but..." He shrugged, "Now I own a majority stake." He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at the dancers on the floor. "If it doesn't work out, I can always work for the Federation ambassador."

"Everyone is going to want your software, Josef. Who wouldn't want to convert their photos and videos into holos?" Amanda shook her head. "It was amazingly life like."

Josef beamed at her. "And everyone is going to want a holoscope, too. I win. Sarek wins."

Amanda raised an eyebrow and smiled back at him. "You are a devious man, Mr. Friedmann."

With a shrug and a smile Josef said, "Shouldn't we be talking about your honeymoon or something?"

Amanda blinked. "Yes, actually, you could explain yourself there, too. We're going to Africa, on _your_ recommendation, to see elephants and Sarek won't tell me what it's about." Whenever Amanda tried to probe, Sarek blocked her saying he had it on good authority that it would be better if it was a surprise.

The smile on Josef's face softened. "Trust me Amanda, you'll love the elephants."

**A/N:**

Okay, one chapter after this. The elephants thing is sort of an Easter Egg for my Descartes readers - I don't think I'll go into it here. (Although anyone else can read it in Descartes Chapter 42 and Chapter 45). Holosuite and Holoshop are Easter Eggs for all my graphic designer readers!

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	63. Epilogue: Vulcan

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**Epilogue: Vulcan**

Amanda leaned back in her chair. Vulcan's early evening sun was still hot and bright, but out over the Shi'ri'nah desert were ominous clouds and the wind was picking up.

She gently splashed her feet in the kiddie pool - a rare luxury on Vulcan. Beside her, Josef's wife Esther did the same. Esther and Josef had beamed the pool and the water down with them. Highly unusual items to transport, but one could get away with such things when one owned an interstellar vessel. Josef owned two.

"Even with the thinner air and higher gravity, I think I like this more than San Francisco. So cold there." Esther shivered and then tilted her head back.

Amanda looked over at her friend. Esther was of Ethiopian and Ashekanazi descent, but you would hardly notice the Ashekenazi by looking at her. Her skin was a rich dark coffee color, her hair rose in a halo of dark curls. She didn't even need to wear sunscreen under Vulcan's sun.

"You and my boys." Amanda said. She looked down at little Spock. His four year old brow furrowed in concentration as Rachel, Josef and Esther's four year old, poured water into a bucket in his hands. He looked so peaceful. He always did as he explored a new toy, and today he had three: water, a pool, and Rachel who found dumping water back and forth between two pots just as_ fascinating _as he did.

Lifting her eyes, Amanda looked under the porch overhang where Sarek and eleven year old Sybok were engaged in a conversation with Josef.

So much had happened in the past eight years. Holoshop was a success, and Josef, Tirissa, the Morgenstern boys, and all the employees and contractors they took on during Holosuite's first explosive year were very rich.

The holoscopes were a success, too. Sarek was made Vulcan's Earth Ambassador. He kept up his contacts with the Vulcan Science Academy, and brought several new innovations to the wider galaxy before they otherwise would have left Vulcan.

One of those innovations brought Sarek intergalactic attention. A plague broke out on one of Tellurite's outer colonies. The only antidote was a highly unstable virus. Sarek identified a compound the VSA was working on that could be used as a stabilizing agent. Working as a liaison between the Vulcan scientists and the Tellurites, Sarek discovered the plague was not a natural outbreak. It was a deliberate act of terrorism by a minority of colonists wishing to secede. Sarek wound up successfully mediating the dispute and seeing to the disbursement of the vaccine.

A year later Sarek, in recognition of his skills in diplomacy with a wide range of species, was promoted to the position of Federation Ambassador of Vulcan. Sarek joked with Amanda it was actually an effort to keep a better eye on him. As Federation Ambassador his primary residence was, logically, his home world. Whatever the motives for his advancement, Sarek was more than ready to leave the chill of San Francisco behind. Amanda, by that time finished with her Masters and working on the Universal Translator project with Vulcan colleagues, was more than ready for the adventure of living on a new world.

At that thought she felt a strong wind whip the hair around her face. Amanda looked up at the sky. The distant clouds were now almost directly overhead.

"Am I actually going to see it rain on Vulcan?" Esther said.

"I don't know," said Amanda. "But there will definitely be lightning."

Esther got out of her chair. "Okay kids, time to get out of the pool."

Standing up quickly, Spock turned his eyes to Amanda. His face was impassive, but he held his bucket as though he were about to pitch the water at Amanda. Amanda didn't doubt he was furious. He rarely got to play in water, let alone sit in it.

"Mommy, do we have to get out?" asked Rachel.

"There will be lightning, Baby. We have to go inside."

At the word lightning, the tempest in Spock's own eyes cooled. "It is dangerous," he said. The little hand that had been about to throw water at Amanda reached out for support as he stepped across the slippery pool bottom.

"We'll be able to play in the water after the storm passes," said Amanda.

A flicker of understanding passed from his fingers but he did not turn to look at her.

The wind picked up strength and began to push the wooden chairs Amanda and Esther had been sitting on across the patio. From around the long side of the house a gray haired Vulcan in rough attire came running stiffly. It was T'Lana's husband, Tilk. _"Go inside,"_ he said in Vulcan. _ "I will see to the furniture."_

Amanda and Esther picked up their children and darted towards the house. Sybok was holding the door for them as Sarek and Josef hustled to help Tilk with the outdoor furniture.

Inside the house, T'Lana immediately met Amanda. "I will see to Spock," she said taking the heavy form out of Amanda's arms. She turned to Esther. "Do you need help?"

"No," said Esther. "I think I'm the only one who will be able to find Rachel's clothes."

A few minutes later Amanda walked into the main room. Sarek, Sybok and Josef were already there. Josef was sipping a glass of ice water. T'Lana came in with Spock, now in a dry Vulcan tunic and trousers.

Thunder rumbled. Spock rushed over to Amanda and took her fingers. "Do not worry," he said, earnestness spilling from his fingertips. "We are safe in the house."

"Thank you, Spock," she said charmed by his protectiveness, though she knew he said it to reassure himself more than her.

"But I want to show Spock my other swimsuit," said Rachel, still out of sight. Amanda heard the patter of small feet.

"No, Rachel, wait!" called Esther further down the long hallway off the main room.

"Look at my pretty new swimsuit, Spock," said Rachel. Amanda turned with Spock expecting to see Rachel modeling a swimsuit. She was not. In fact, she was not wearing any clothing at all. She stood completely naked, proudly holding up a pink polka dot suit.

From where her hands were joined with Spock's, Amanda felt _confusion_. Although not the flirt that Sybok was, Spock did notice girls, but only those old enough to have breasts. Amanda wasn't sure if she found that fact a relief or disturbing. Now she knew his disquiet was simply because he did not know if he should say anything and if so what.

"Where are her clothes?" said Josef, putting his glass down with a loud thunk on an end table.

Ignoring Josef's obvious ire, Esther addressed Rachel. "Okay, Miss Rachel Friedmann. Back to the bedroom to put some clothes on. Now."

Rachel looked up at her mother. "I want to wear something pretty for Spock."

Esther rolled her eyes and pulled Rachel by the hand down the hall.

Hearing Josef sigh, Amanda said, "Don't worry, Josef."

Sybok said quickly, "Father and I are bonded and Spock has seen it all before." Then he looked quickly to Amanda. She gave her eldest son a smile. He was experimenting with humor and trying to gauge his quip's effectiveness.

Josef seemed to register the young Vulcan's attempting to be funny. Pushing up his glasses, he smiled and said in a mock conspiratorial tone, "Well, obviously I wouldn't worry about you and Sarek, Sybok. But what do you mean Spock's seen it all before?"

Amanda laughed and pulled Spock closer to the other three. "After the last rainstorm, T'Della, a friend of mine from the local agricultural research facility, and I took Spock and her daughter T'Diza outside to play in the mud."

"Mud is fascinating," said Spock. Amanda had to pull her fingers away to restrain the snickers that the Vulcan feeling of fascination always gave her.

"It is an enriching sensory experience for children Spock's age," said Sarek. "And it is good for building their immune systems."

"Afterward they both had to be taken into Tilk's shed and hit with a sonic hose," said Sybok.

"Tilk's shed is fascinating," said Spock.

"No fewer than eleven sharp objects, and four dangerous blunt instruments," said Sarek raising an eyebrow in Josef's direction.

"And combustibles," said Sybok.

"Fire," said Spock.

"I see," said Josef looking down at the little Vulcan. He turned to Amanda. "Esther said you had friends here. I wasn't sure...it sounds as though you are actually fairly close to this T'Della."

Amanda felt Sarek's unease. Sybok looked down.

"It isn't like it is in the city, like it is in Shi'Kahr," said Amanda. "We do have friends and associates here. I think we've been invited to tea at least once by every family in the village nearby."

Sarek tilted his head. "Since the Romulan attack on the Kelvin, Vulcans who are frequently in the company of aliens have..." He looked down. "I believe to distinguish themselves from our Rumulan cousins, they over compensate. Many have become quite insular, and in their efforts to behave more logically they are -"

"Illogical," said Sybok.

"But here in the country that isn't the way it is," said Amanda. "They don't have that psychological stress. They are very curious. But not in a hostile way. I find it endearing, actually."

From behind Amanda came the sound of skipping feet. "Spock," said Rachel, "do you like my dress?" Amanda and Spock turned. This time Rachel was actually wearing clothes. Many clothes in fact: a frilly pink dress with many layers of skirts, striped leggings underneath, and white socks with pink piping at the ankles. In her hands she held a pair of sparkling red ballet slippers.

Spock grabbed Amanda's fingers. He had no idea what to say, she realized. "What color is the dress?" said Amanda, trying to help out.

"The dress is pink," said Spock.

"Yes," said Rachel lifting her chin. She looked towards the window. "It's not raining anymore."

Esther came into the main room. "Wow, that was fast."

"These storms are violent, but quick," said Sarek.

Near the door, I-Chaya, Spock's sehlat, let out a low whimper. "Looks like we're going for a walk," said Amanda.

x x x

The sun had just set, Amanda realized, as the clouds cleared away; but the red bloom lingering in the west would light the desert brightly enough for an hour more at least.

I-Chaya's timing couldn't have been better. It was Amanda's favorite time of day to stroll the desert property. The red colored rocks and ochre sands were at their most vibrant, and a cool wind from the east made the temperature pleasant, even for humans. There had only been enough rain in the storm to sprinkle the ground, but the native plants had unfurled their leaves and rain catching flowers. The world was filled with color.

"It's so beautiful," said Esther. Spock and Rachel were running ahead of them tossing a stick to I-Chaya - who'd evidently forgotten why he'd asked to be let out.

Amanda smiled, "Yes."

Esther appreciated the desert as much as Amanda. Amanda and Sarek always offered to let Josef and his family stay at their home when they came to Vulcan. Esther had met many of Amanda's Vulcan friends and associates, Josef seemed more content to confine his activities on Vulcan to business and chess games with Sarek and now Sybok. Amanda wondered if it was lingering memories of T'Zena that made Josef keep his distance.

Amanda's curiosity had gotten the better of her one evening. She tracked down the whereabouts of T'Zena. The official reason for her dismissal was "medical complications," which could have been pregnancy related, but details on T'Zena's personal life were not available. All Amanda could discover was that she worked at a small college on another continent and wrote articles on human culture.

Sarek did not entertain thoughts of T'Zena at all. And although it was not Vulcan to discourage curiousity, he did not like Amanda looking into T'Zena's affairs. He didn't want to think about her. Even though his experience with T'Yavi gave him special insight into what T'Zena must have gone through, he was still angry about what she had done to Josef. Amanda realized that it might be illogical, but Vulcans were apparently as adept at carrying a grudge as they were at staying in love.

"You'll miss this when you move to Shi'Kahr," said Esther.

Amanda sighed. "I know. But the local school says Sybok needs to be more challenged and they can't meet his needs. The VSA has a youth program. Sybok was accepted and he deserves to go." She sighed.

Sybok was the youngest child ever to be admitted into the Young Scientists VSA program - Amanda wondered if emotionally he was ready for it. And then she shook her head. From day one Spock demanded so much attention, physically and emotionally. Sybok was the good and consequently forgotten child. He'd earned this opportunity.

"They play so well together," said Esther looking out at Spock and Rachel. "You know, Amanda, from the horror stories you've told me lately I was worried!"

Amanda watched as Spock actually offered a stick to Rachel, and then tried to show her how to throw it properly. "Well, for your sake I'm glad he's making me a liar," Amanda said. She'd been amazed by Spock's good behavior all day.

She swallowed. Her brilliant little boy. He had the Vulcan memory, computational ability, and touch telepathy. Spock was somewhat taciturn, like a Vulcan. But unlike a Vulcan he'd said his first words at six months - astonishing both her and Sarek. At four he was as far advanced in his studies as Sybok had been at the same age.

There was only one way in which Spock's dual heritage created complications. He had Vulcan emotions but lacked Vulcan control. Amanda and even Sarek could see the advantage in it. Spock skipped from one idea to another faster than a Vulcan, and he seemed much more flexible in his thinking. No word for something? Unlike a Vulcan child, Spock was perfectly at ease creating words. Amanda still laughed at the memory of one-year-old Spock declaring nasal mucus 'nose poo-poo'. But the gap in the wall of Vulcan control that created such charming vocabulary also allowed Spock to become frustrated easily - and violent.

Amanda shook her head again, and looked at her son. Realizing that Rachel was not throwing the stick to Spock's satisfaction, she hurried forward and caught Spock's hand. Soon she knew Spock's temper would flare. "Hey, Spock, don't you think Rachel would like some kianult fruit sorbet?"

Hearing his favorite dessert and feeling Amanda's enthusiasm, Spock was distracted from the game. Amanda felt his happiness at the thought of the sweet. Turning his elfin face to Rachel, Spock took the little girl's hand and said somberly, "Come, Rachel." He then proceeded to half lead half drag Rachel towards the house.

"He's so cute," said Esther.

"So is Rachel," said Amanda. admiring the little girl's long wavy black hair swinging side to side in a high pony tail.

"Do you think you'll have another?" asked Esther.

"I don't think so. You?"

"I think we will," said Esther, walking towards the house.

Amanda looked at her sympathetically. Esther also had gone through the uncomfortable process of creating a 'test tube' baby. Josef and Esther both were carriers for Tay-Sachs. The two joked about their "special gift from our ancestors." Although treatment was available for babies with two copies of the mutation it was painful, and ongoing. Esther and Josef had decided they didn't want to put any child through it.

Esther and Amanda had become very close during their separate ordeals.

"I dread going through with it again," Esther said looking straight ahead.

Amanda reached over and squeezed her arm. Esther patted her hand and the two began to climb the stone steps to the porch.

Sarek was leading Spock and Rachel into the house. Josef and Sybok were sitting on the wide stone porch. A chess board was in front of them, but the game seemed to be forgotten.

So you don't think that your god is all powerful and omnipotent," said Sybok. Amanda tilted her head. Lately Sybok had taken an interest in human theology.

"I did not say that. I said that I believe God does not interfere," said Josef.

"Then why bother to worship this god at all if he is not an active participant in your fate?" Sybok said.

"God helps us get through the hardships that are our own making," said Josef.

Sybok tilted his head. "Are you saying that human suffering is punishment for misdeeds on the individual's part?"

"No," said Josef. "Not punishment. Consequences...Of our own actions sometimes. Sometimes our suffering is the result of the ignorance of the human race as a whole."

"I still don't see the purpose of worshiping a being that doesn't offer tangible assistance," Sybok said.

"I think our bond...our connection with God is tangible," said Josef moving a chess piece.

Amanda felt her chest constrict a bit on Josef's behalf. If he progressed down this road he might wind up talking about the other bond so long ago.

"Explain," said Sybok.

Josef pushed up his glasses. "And a God that wiped every misguided or evil thought from our heads before we had the opportunity to know the ultimate error of our ways would be one I wouldn't want," said Josef. "Ultimately, such a being could only see us as..." Josef tilted his head.

"Mindless amoebas," said Esther walking up behind her husband and laying her hands on his shoulders.

Josef took one of her hands in his.

"I am not convinced," said Sybok.

Josef pushed his glasses up his nose.

Sarek stepped out onto the porch with a tray laden with seven bowls filled with neat lavendar spheres. "I took the liberty of preparing sorbet for us all. Esther, Josef, are you familiar with the kianult fruit?"

It was a deliberate act of distraction, Amanda realized. She sent a wave of gratitude for Sarek's small act of diplomacy.

He raised an eyebrow. _They did not make me Vulcan ambassador to the Federation for nothing, Amanda._

She raised an eyebrow in return. _ I thought they just wanted you back here on Vulcan so they could keep a better eye on you, you rebel._

Sarek tilted his head. _That, too._

**A/N**:

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